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2017.03.28 04:33 td css

“I’m confident that Reddit could sway elections. We wouldn’t do it, of course. And I don’t know how many times we could get away with it. But, if we really wanted to, I’m sure Reddit could have swayed at least this election, this once.” - Reddit CEO
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2023.03.22 16:48 bloopityloop How to tell whether a place practices harmful ABA?

So, I'm a psychology major graduating in 2 months, and I have been applying to all sorts of different job positions in hopes of finding something decent upon graduating. Since I'm not licensed in anything specific, and only have a bachelor's degree, my options are quite limited. I didn't know much at all about ABA prior to this, and while I wasn't specifically looking for a behavioral technician position that utilizes ABA, I realized, when I went back and reviewed all the jobs I applied for, that most of the jobs I applied for were RBT or ABA counseling positions, all of which use ABA.
I got a few interview offers from different places, and decided to dig in and do some research to see what I was getting myself into, and now I feel horrible. I really want to work with children, and I especially want to work with clinical populations, since my long term aspiration is to either become a pediatric speech pathologist or a pediatric neuropsychologist (haven't decided yet). I love children, and I want to help autistic children navigate life more comfortably. But the last thing I want to do is to get rid of their sense of bodily autonomy and discourage their self expression by forcing them to comply with arbitrary demands. Even just the practice of discouraging stimming by calmly grabbing and redirecting the hands is disgusting to me, because I work in a daycare now, and I don't ever physically "guide" the kids to act a specific way unless their actions are potentially harmful to themselves or others. I talk to them like humans, explaining things to them so they understand, and listening to them when they have complaints or feel uncomfortable doing things a certain way. I don't see why things should be any different with autistic children.
I've been doing some research and I've found that ABA practices have changed a lot with time, and that many places that say they practice ABA don't even actually practice ABA but only say they do for legal purposes or smth like that. But how am I supposed to tell apart which one is which? I've tried to search up reviews on specific institutions, but the only stuff I'm coming across are past employees complaining about management treating its workers like trash, but the kids being fun to work with. And moms being happy that their kids have "improved". But that doesn't tell me anything about the kids experience.
Is there any kind of red flags that I could look out for so I know if I'm getting myself into something I wouldn't want to be involved with?
submitted by bloopityloop to ABA [link] [comments]


2023.03.22 16:48 AccordingAd6576 Real event/cheating OCD

I’m feeling extremely guilty over something that happened a while ago (I hadn’t thought about it until recently but now I can’t stop obsessing) and I don’t know if it’s something I actually need to tell my partner about or if doing so would just be a compulsion.
for context, I’m a lesbian in a monogamous relationship. last year, a few months into my relationship with my girlfriend, I went to visit a (bisexual male) friend of mine in another city. let’s call him Mike. Mike offered to let me sleep on his couch so I didn’t have to pay for a hotel. he also knew about my sexuality and my relationship status at the time.
the first night I stayed at his place, Mike and I (along with his roommates) got pretty drunk. he was being kind of cuddly - not just with me, but with his roommates as well. he is sort of a touchy/affectionate person in general and we come from a culture where physical affection between friends is commonplace, so I didn’t think much of it. at some point he also kissed me on the cheek, which is pretty normal in our culture. he had never expressed attraction to me and had only talked to me about crushes on guys, so again, I didn’t think it was anything abnormal.
at some point, though, after a lot of alcohol, Mike (who was so drunk he could barely sit up) blurted out that he found me physically attractive. I was really shocked and uncomfortable, and I shut him down immediately by telling him I wasn’t interested, and besides, I’m not interested in men and I have a partner (which he knew). he backed off and didn’t say anything further, and we went to sleep shortly thereafter. I thought for a bit about trying to find a hotel or something instead of staying at his place, but it was like 3 am and I didn’t know his city at all, so I decided not to. but I told myself that if anything else made me uncomfortable, I would find a hotel immediately. I went back and forth over whether or not to tell my girlfriend, but I decided to hold off and see how the situation played out because I didn’t want to worry her unnecessarily. to be honest, I think I also felt a little bit worried that I might have somehow done something to make Mike think I was interested (although objectively I know I didn’t).
Mike never mentioned that interaction again, and to be honest I’m not even sure he remembers it (again, he was really wasted). If he does, I think he probably realized how dumb it was to say that and was too embarrassed to talk about it. He was also exceedingly respectful of my space and boundaries for the rest of my stay and never made me feel weird again. We haven’t talked that much over the last year, since my trip.
Looking back, I’m not sure if I should have brought it up and demanded we talk about it the next day - I think I really just wanted to forget it ever happened. I didn’t end up telling my girlfriend about it either. I’m not sure why, to be honest, because I know I technically “didn’t do anything wrong” - I rejected the advance immediately and decisively, and nothing actually happened. But I think I also worry that I didn’t do enough - maybe I should have ended the friendship, gone home early from the trip, and blocked his number. I think I was worried that my girlfriend would be anxious, insecure, and uncomfortable if she knew that I was continuing to spend time with someone who had at least some level of attraction to me, or maybe that she would suspect that I secretly liked the attention (which I definitely did not, and I also don’t think she’s the type of person at all to come to a conclusion like that… gotta love OCD). The longer I went without telling her, the more it felt like bringing it up out of the blue would seem weird and suspicious. I really just wanted to never think about it again, so I’ve never brought it up.
I honestly had pretty much forgotten it ever happened, but recently I’ve been having pretty bad cheating OCD and suddenly started obsessing over whether or not I betrayed my girlfriend’s trust by not telling her immediately and breaking off my friendship with Mike. I feel like I was dishonest and like my decision not to tell her means I’m not a good and communicative partner. but also, I know I didn’t cheat, nothing actually happened, and I was prepared to (and did) shut the situation down if any of my boundaries were crossed. I felt in the moment like telling her would only create unnecessary anxiety and worry, and I feel like if I confess now, it’ll just seem like I was keeping this big secret and like I don’t trust her (or am untrustworthy myself). But I also feel like a horrible liar. idk what to do :/
submitted by AccordingAd6576 to ROCD [link] [comments]


2023.03.22 16:47 RavenBoyyy 10 months on Testosterone, AMA!

Feel free to ask me anything, I'm always happy to answer any questions and I have no boundaries aside from people not being creepy obviously.
I'm 18 years old and I hit 10 months on Testogel yesterday. I honestly didn't even realise until today, each month is starting to fly by. I can't believe in just two months I'll be a whole year on T, it's insane. I'm so happy to be where I am today and though I'm nowhere near where I dream of being, I've come very far.
So here's to 10 months!
submitted by RavenBoyyy to TransMasc [link] [comments]


2023.03.22 16:47 WeirdPonytail How do you balance lower level encounters when your PCs have high damage weapons?

I'm fairly new to DMing, and while I have the RP side of things down, I've always had trouble with building encounters. I'm running into that issue again.
I have a party of 5 that are going to be level 2 next time we meet. At level 1, our barbarian and paladin had a greataxe and a greatsword respectively, with the barbarian having 14 hp and the paladin having 12. I sent a few goblins after them for classic first encounter to teach mechanics and the like, and the barbarian one shot two of them while the paladin, after a few rough rolls and taking 6 points of damage in a single attack, ended up taking one of them down to 1 hp after a single hit.
I gave them eight homebrewed pirate thugs last night, which the party dealt with but it did take them much longer as the thugs had 12-14 health and 13 AC. Paladin got unlucky again and took nearly half their health in damage, while the barbarian again just straight up one shot the first pirate he encountered.
They're about to head to the pirate ship that has probably 12-15 similar thugs plus a pirate captain (hp probably ~20-25, AC 14, a rapier, and i'm going to give them a chance to talk it out and attempt to get him to surrender if they choose that). I have ways to nerf/decrease the number of thugs, and they have an NPC that can help (not swoop in and save, but just an extra set of hands) if things get too hairy, but I keep questioning what's going to be too much and what's not enough. The greataxe and greatsword alone have been one-hit kill weapons from the start, and we also have a warlock that's been helping out by setting things on fire, a rogue that's learning sneak attack's usefulness, and a bard that's starting to learn buffs and debuffs.
How should I know when to make enemies tougher or softer, when to chuck a few pirates into the sea to move things along, or when to just have enemies surrender or reinforcements to arrive? Challenge rating always seems so iffy, but going by HP and AC alone also leaves me questioning if it's the right balance.
submitted by WeirdPonytail to DMAcademy [link] [comments]


2023.03.22 16:47 whitewall56 24M lied about age, ignored verbal and physical 'no's and I can't move on

This has been over a year now, and nowhere near as bad as what a lot of other people went through but I just can't move on from it and it fills me with a lot of shame.
I was 18 at the time and thought he was 19, but I later found out he was 24 and lied about it. This on its own makes me very uncomfortable as we were 'together' for over 3 months. He also would consistently ignore me when I asked him to not touch me, or if I moved his hands, to the point where I would freeze up out of fear while he had sex with me.
After a while, I gave up on saying no because I knew it would be ignored and if I don't say no it can't be assault...or at least that made me feel less shameful about the experience.
I want to talk to people about this but I feel that I should have left earlier and I honestly don't know why I didn't. Even now I get panic attacks after or during perfectly consentual sex. I just don't know how to move on and put this behind me.
submitted by whitewall56 to sexualassault [link] [comments]


2023.03.22 16:47 Kiltemdead Book series suggestion

I recently read The Warded Man and fell in love. The story jumps from perspective to perspective, but gives clear indication on who is the main character for that bit. And also jumps around in time, also with clear indication. Very much worth it for me. I won't give away too much information because going in partially blind is the best way to do it in my opinion.i believe it was six books and I absolutely do not want to send them back to the guy who landed them to me because I might reread them. Full of drama, love, heartbreak, and a fourth element that would give away too much. Feel free to dm me if you want a breakdown before investing time.
submitted by Kiltemdead to books [link] [comments]


2023.03.22 16:47 Euphoric-Ratio8957 26 [M4F] foot massage to turn into more #SanJose

I want to start a foot fetish page. Would love to have some help from foot models. We can hang out and I would love to give you a foot massage with some warm oils. Then set up for a photoshoot with your feet. Would love to do more than this with you, kissing, touching and rubbing. But feet only is fine too. I love every part of the woman’s body. Feet are just as important as a pretty face to me. White toes are my favorite but any colored toes I’ll have fun with. Please reach out! Hope to hear from all of you soon❤️🦶🏼
submitted by Euphoric-Ratio8957 to sjr4r [link] [comments]


2023.03.22 16:47 This_Imagination7095 M4F m17 don’t know what do do down for pretty much anything at this point [chat]

So yea a little about me l'm tall Af lol 6" 3 if you wanted know specifically and ngl I'm skinny but I do my best to improve that lol but yeah I've got nothing to do and pretty bored things I do are like animation and used to play baseball for about 3 years big PC gamer also I love history stuff specially ww2 and Cold War little fun fact about me ig guess lol so yeah there's a description of me so feel free to stop by if your interested.
submitted by This_Imagination7095 to MeetPeople [link] [comments]


2023.03.22 16:47 KyleTechneYouTube [MO] Going for sole custody. Wanting to move home to [MI]

Hey all. I have court coming up at the end of April. I'm going for sole custody. I'd really love to go back home to Michigan. My ex and I moved from Arizona to Missouri to be closer to her family, and once we got here to sell our house in AZ, she kicked me out of where we were staying and I had to stay to be a father.
Some of the stuff I have against her that's provable in court:
  1. She's moved 3x. Only once has she notified me of her moving beforehand, although she moved in 2 weeks later. Our order states 90 day notice.
  2. She's moved in with 3 men in 3 years, and the instability with her and these guys is wild
  3. Won't pay for medical expenses. She's required to pay 1/2
  4. Doesn't discuss medical, school, or important topics
  5. Verbally abusive via messages, making up lies of situations. Ex: She stated a man was in my home and sexually harmed my son. I literally had a video call with my therapist that day and all my son and I did was snuggle to some movies.
  6. Stuck him in a ghetto school without ever notifying me, and kept him there despite my outright disapproval (we have to agree on these things)
  7. She bailed on our court ordered coparenting therapy and wouldn't work with the therapist whatsoever with me.
  8. Anti-vaxxer, makes vaccine appointments a nightmare
  9. She told my son he had a gluten allergy, even after having blood tested him and it showed no allergies
Her response was to file that "Dad makes more money than me by a lot. Dad is routinely mean to me"

Anyways, I would just love to hear some thoughts on my case. I'd love to move back to Michigan and I'm hoping for a win with custody.
I'll ask my attorney this, but is asking for sole custody better or worse if I mention that I wanna move us back to Michigan?
submitted by KyleTechneYouTube to Custody [link] [comments]


2023.03.22 16:47 gudsamaritin Continuing my taper, wavering a little...

Most recently prescribed for about two or three years
Been prescribed benzodiazepines for nearly a decade, abused them prior to being prescribed, klonopin and temazepam seemed to be the most effective for me so we stuck with that.
My first angle of my taper and first success was working on the temazepam since I have mandatory sleep aids for my other mental health problems. I was able to reduce it to 15mg, then after a month, stopped taking it despite being offered 7.5mg. I barely noticed it was gone, and started focusing a lot on bettering my sleep hygiene and taking it seriously that I needed time(about an hour of meditating, showering, reading, quietness etc) and a daily pattern to unwind nightly.

Now my taper for klonopin is a bit for tedious and I am afraid a little bit of it. Starting today I am taking 1.5mg. Not a huge jump but mind you at this point, benzodiazepines don't even really do anything except make it painfully obvious when I do not have them. My tolerance is so high that the max dose midazolam administered to me for a procedure still had me wide awake; clearly it is problematic and saddening that it has come to this.
Last week I went down to .5mg for about four days just to see if it was going to be that bad and that maybe I could skip ahead...and it was horrible. I could still sleep and function but I felt clouded, issues thinking, issues processing anything I needed to do, I had tinnitus, an IBS flare up, irritation, numb feet, lights were too bright, random surges of hunger but not wanting to eat due to nausea/indigestion, muscle aches, and slight dizziness. I even tried taking supplements and had an allergic reaction to one of them which in and of itself was anxiety ridden. Obviously I wasn't ready for such a low dose and I am back on my psychiatrists ideal dose for me at the time. I hopefully won't be doing things like that again.
I take lyrica(pregablin) for my injury and chronic health issues and will need to take it for quite some time, which helps a lot in not needing as many benzodiazepines but has randomly heightened anxiety in surges as it somewhat makes me more energetic though I am leveling out on my lyrica dosage and normally have no side effects.
I am happy to start this taper, just a bit worried it will be at this level for months and will cave in.
Need some encouragement outside of myself that I am doing the right thing sometimes as I imagine just going back to it all and ignoring the fact that my brain has been altered to depend on these meds. I view it as a curse in a lot of ways but I often minimize how these medications do basically nothing for me but make me need them and think that would be the answer to the curse. I fantasize about going the easy route(for me) and sticking to taking them at the originally prescribed dose, however I know deep down that the only change is through discomfort and dedication; which is also my motto for my current attempts to wean myself off of cigarettes and caffeine consumption aka my other vices that serve me no purpose! The temptation to call it off is always there in the back of my head and the impatience that I am not "cured" yet gets to me at times to the point I just want to give in and tell myself its hopeless. I just don't want to be impulsive and call it off.
submitted by gudsamaritin to benzorecovery [link] [comments]


2023.03.22 16:46 DCBREEZY0MAMMA Math ain’t mathin Demon: pics are side by side on acct. we should report for minor abuse.

Math ain’t mathin Demon: pics are side by side on acct. we should report for minor abuse. submitted by DCBREEZY0MAMMA to livenfamilysnark [link] [comments]


2023.03.22 16:46 Euphoric-Ratio8957 26 [M4F] foot massage to turn into more #SanJose

I want to start a foot fetish page. Would love to have some help from foot models. We can hang out and I would love to give you a foot massage with some warm oils. Then set up for a photoshoot with your feet. Would love to do more than this with you, kissing, touching and rubbing. But feet only is fine too. I love every part of the woman’s body. Feet are just as important as a pretty face to me. White toes are my favorite but any colored toes I’ll have fun with. Please reach out! Hope to hear from all of you soon❤️🦶🏼
submitted by Euphoric-Ratio8957 to SFr4r [link] [comments]


2023.03.22 16:46 prettybbychim inflamed areolas for 9 months+ need second opinions

21 AFAB
medications: ambien, azelastine, ativan, effexor xr, hydroxyzine, lo loestrin fe, omeprazole, singulair, wellbutrin, zyrtec
surgeries: appendectomy (2018), cholecystectomy (2022), top surgery (2022)
issue: inflamed nipples and areolas. bright red, hot to touch, extremely itchy
pictures are of both left and right nipples, before and after vaseline application: https://imgur.com/a/RS1mNYM
i had top surgery on july 12 2022, in other words, a double mastectomy with nipple grafts and liposuction. i’ve had issues with nipple chafing prior to surgery and saw a breast specialist who prescribed a steroid that cleared it right up (march 4 2022)
as my nipples have healed, i’ve experienced very similar symptoms to the chafing. i have tried: lanolin, vaseline, hydrocortisone ointment and cream, cocoa butter, and body moisturizers such as cerave and cetaphil. these were all done at the suggestion of my surgeon. nothing has made this issue go away. some of these improve it for a time and then it comes back full force. others make it worse (like the lotions).
my surgeon told me this month to once again try more moisturizing lotions more frequently throughout the day. that’s why i’m using cetaphil on the area because i use that for the rest of my body. it makes it worse
it’s so irritated and itchy, it’s driving me insane. i want to claw them off at this point. i love my surgeon but none of his suggestions have improved anything. i need second options please
submitted by prettybbychim to AskDocs [link] [comments]


2023.03.22 16:46 Drake20l Interview suggestion: Guy Vanderhaeghe, S.O.M., O.C.

Hi Jordan,
I appreciate everything you do, I follow/listen to you online. I read an article with Guy V, from my University (where I also work), and think he may be someone you'd like to interview. He's Canadian and, in his writings and teaching, draws a parallel between today and the 1930s/40s and overcoming adversity. You speak about this often, threading encouragement and motivation through your talks, and think and interview with Guy could be very interesting.
Here's the article: https://www.degreesmagazine.ca/guy-vanderhaeghe-q-and-a/2023/03/16/
And a quote from it:
Does the act of writing clarify things for you?
Absolutely. One of the things I used to say to creative writing students is that often you nail down what you actually think or feel in the attempt to write it, because often that’s a process of distillation and refinement. For most writers, the act of writing is a way of thinking and an emotional response. I think that maybe writing the novel helped me clarify – at least a little bit – my real feelings of political distress about what was going on in the United States and all over the world, and also my reaction to what the pandemic was doing to people and how we were dealing with it. I think that writing the book may have clarified my own responses to those things. Writing and revision and posing questions – all of those things — it’s a process. And it’s a process that finally arrives at some point. And, in my case at least, the point I arrive at is sometimes not exactly where I thought I was going.
Regards,
L.D.
submitted by Drake20l to JordanPeterson [link] [comments]


2023.03.22 16:46 braaan92 30 [M4R] Finland/Anywhere - Looking to chat and make some hopefully long term friends

Hi :)
Been awhile since I've posted here, but I suppose life has gotten a little bit gloomy/lonely over the months and am just looking to meet some friends to chat with. It's cool if it doesn't turn to anything more, but awesome if we hit it off and eventually meet and create a lifelong friendship!
I like to keep introductions short to save room for chatting, but here's a little bit about me:
I am 30 and I am from New York but I have been currently living in Finland since 2018. I came here for love which ended shortly after I came here but decided to stay and embrace the change.
I studied here as well, graduated with a business degree, and recently began a job in the gaming industry right in Finland, so I plan to make Finland/Europe my permanent home :)
Some more things about me. I'm super talkative but also slightly at the same time, I've learned that I'm extremely outgoing once I'm warmed up to a new person. I can have a conversation about absolutely anything and I have a pretty good chance at connecting with most people.
Some of my hobbies include, reading (when my adhd let's me) to which I am currently reading Snow Crash. I enjoy working out at the gym, biking, hiking, boulderingeally anything related to outdoors. But the other half of me loves being inside and gaming my days away, watching Netflix, or just chilling with some good people.
I'd say my least favorite quality of myself is I'm overwhelmed easily and sometimes need to even recharge alone for a week after seeing friends for a few hours 😅
My main reason for popping back here and making a post is I've realized that within my almost 5 years here, I don't have the social circle I did back home (obviously), so I'd just like to meet some people and connect to fill that void and meet some interesting people :) maybe texting or even chilling on discord and playing some games! I'm open to all kinds!
Looking forward to hearing from you! 😊
I'll also attach some recent photos of myself
https://imgur.com/a/kk0RFi8
submitted by braaan92 to R4R30Plus [link] [comments]


2023.03.22 16:46 bloopityloop How to identify whether a company uses harmful ABA?

So, I'm a psychology major graduating in 2 months, and I have been applying to all sorts of different job positions in hopes of finding something decent upon graduating. Since I'm not licensed in anything specific, and only have a bachelor's degree, my options are quite limited. I didn't know much at all about ABA prior to this, and while I wasn't specifically looking for a behavioral technician position that utilizes ABA, I realized, when I went back and reviewed all the jobs I applied for, that most of the jobs I applied for were RBT or ABA counseling positions, all of which use ABA.
I got a few interview offers from different places, and decided to dig in and do some research to see what I was getting myself into, and now I feel horrible. I really want to work with children, and I especially want to work with clinical populations, since my long term aspiration is to either become a pediatric speech pathologist or a pediatric neuropsychologist (haven't decided yet). I love children, and I want to help autistic children navigate life more comfortably. But the last thing I want to do is to get rid of their sense of bodily autonomy and discourage their self expression by forcing them to comply with arbitrary demands. Even just the practice of discouraging stimming by calmly grabbing and redirecting the hands is disgusting to me, because I work in a daycare now, and I don't ever physically "guide" the kids to act a specific way unless their actions are potentially harmful to themselves or others. I talk to them like humans, explaining things to them so they understand, and listening to them when they have complaints or feel uncomfortable doing things a certain way. I don't see why things should be any different with autistic children.
I've been doing some research and I've found that ABA practices have changed a lot with time, and that many places that say they practice ABA don't even actually practice ABA but only say they do for legal purposes or smth like that. But how am I supposed to tell apart which one is which? I've tried to search up reviews on specific institutions, but the only stuff I'm coming across are past employees complaining about management treating its workers like trash, but the kids being fun to work with. And moms being happy that their kids have "improved". But that doesn't tell me anything about the kids experience.
Is there any kind of red flags that I could look out for so I know if I'm getting myself into something I wouldn't want to be involved with?
Also sorry, I know there is a megathread for ABA related concerns, but it looks quite inactive recently. And I'm strongly concerned about this. I have two interviews this week, so I want some answers as soon as possible. If there is no way to tell apart places that practice ethical and unethical ABA, I'll likely just avoid that as a job option entirely. But it would definitely greatly reduce the career options available to me as of now.
I'll be posting this in the ABA sub as well, since this is a question more relevant to that sub. But I prioritize the autism community's opinions 1000% because I know the ABA sub will be filled with people who may not have an issue with ABA at all. Which is clearly contradictory to what the majority of autistic people, the clients who i would be working for, think of this practice.
submitted by bloopityloop to autism [link] [comments]


2023.03.22 16:46 AdImaginary4973 Rhinoplasty as an Actor

So this is maybe a bit of a weird question. I just started acting a few months ago and have LOVED it. I have gotten a few roles and it has helped me a ton with my confidence in addition to being extremely enjoyable.
I’m an attractive guy, but I’ve always had extremely low self esteem, especially when it comes to my nose. It has a bit of a hook to it, especially when I smile. It has a huge effect on my quality of life, I avoid smiling in public, on camera, etc.
I recently discovered I have a majorly deviated septum, and that I’d be able to get a rhinoplasty for fairly cheap because of this, so now seems like the time to do it if I’m ever going to. My concern when it comes to acting is that doing this would make me “just another attractive guy”. I want to keep the distinct look I have, but also want to have the confidence to go on camera and be outgoing.
What’s the general consensus on this? Will I be limiting myself in terms of potential roles if I do this? Trying to balance potential impact on opportunities with my mental health and quality of life is proving to be a struggle.
submitted by AdImaginary4973 to acting [link] [comments]


2023.03.22 16:46 Sad_Ad_3415 My (20M) bf has plans for children in the future. I (20F) don’t want any.

Little background on us. We have been together going on 3 beautiful years. We have a healthy and happy relationship (minus the few flaws we work on consistently). I love him to death we’ve grown into young adults together. Recently there’s been a lot of conversation about starting a family (he wants to start around 23-24).
I come from a rough upbringing. My parents were present but not emotionally. I grew up feeling very unloved and never had a real desire to start a family of my own. I recently moved to a new state where I met by bf at 17. We spent all our free time together eventually moving in to our first apartment together. He comes from a broken family but very loved and wants children of his own, 3 specifically.
I don’t want to sound selfish but my whole life I never had the desire for children. I love kids and am a proud aunt but for myself I don’t want them. I want to focus on my career and travel which I already have opportunities for. We have had discussions about me not wanting kids and him wanting them and I have told him I refuse to be the reason he doesn’t get his happiness and plans for his future and I would understand if it was a deal breaker but he constantly says that my mind will change over time..but i’ve had the same thoughts since I was a child. What do I do now?
submitted by Sad_Ad_3415 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]


2023.03.22 16:46 Vegetable-Outside-51 confused and lost

TLDR: husband of 9 years decided he wants to be poly and already has feelings for a friend. I don't know how to process this change. Sorry for the long story but background, and I need somewhere to get it all out at
Me (30yo F) and my Husband (31 yo m) have been together 12 years and married 9. We have always been monogamous. At the beginning of our relationship I wasn't even able to have male friends...red flag yes but we got past that as we matured. 2 years ago he meets someone online who is poly and decides oh this could be fun. We discuss it, my heart breaks at the sudden shift in personality that my husband has. He swears it's not because of this girl and that he doesn't have feelings for her they are just friends. We keep a discussion going and I give him and set some boundaries for him to find a FWB type situation. At a point he acts on these and then doesn't tell me about it for 3 months breaking all 3 of the boundaries we had discussed. I find out and it's awful and I broke a bit. He said he didn't like that life and doesn't want it any more and that he hates hurting me. We spent 6 or so months focusing on us and making or relationship better then before. Now a month ago, about a year and 3 months after all that. He tells me he wants to be poly. I try to understand where it's coming from and how we are back to it. He's been talking to a girl since November daily and constantly they bonded after the death of the girl that originally started this whole thing. I know they are talking but was under the impression that it was just friendly and being supportive in a time of grief. He finally admitted that yes he has feelings for her and that it wouldn't be fair of me to ask him to ignore them. Which is the only reason he even brought it back up. I am trying very hard to find a way to be ok with him having a girlfriend. They already talk constantly and when I'm around at times he's just sucked into his phone talking to her. So to me there is already a relationship going on he just wants me to be ok with him taking it further and acting on it. Which honestly I'm not, it makes me sick to think about him being intimate and in love with someone else. Random hook ups with no attachment would be preferable to me but thats not what he wants. He says he needs to feel needed by multiple people. She is about to get married and they already have a partner outside of that as well. I just don't understand why he can't have a friendship and we all just be friends. I actually like her as a person and don't blame her but if they were to date I would not want any contact with her. He says I'm enough and if that's all he ever gets then he'd be happy but even though talking about it and asking questions about it destroys me and makes me break down and sob he continues to push it. I don't want to be the reason he's not able to fulfill his life but why does it have to come to me giving up something I feel is important. My feelings matter too.
submitted by Vegetable-Outside-51 to monodatingpoly [link] [comments]


2023.03.22 16:45 fletchlivz PAK tip (and connection woes)

Hey all… we all know the limitations in the app (using that term very loosely). But I had an issue this week and also stumbled on a weird PAK ‘fix’
Starting with the good: I randomly came across a buried comment here where someone mentioned the PAK worked if they put their phone in the passenger seat, oddly enough. I did that this morning and what do you know, it worked.
Everything up until yesterday has been great with this car and the app other than the Phone as Key not working. I could get it to pair just fine, and could get it to pair as the digital key, but could never drive that way. It would lock and unlock doors without my key, with proximity, but if I tried to drive it would tell me the car couldn’t find a key. Then this morning, after seeing that message, I set my phone down in the passenger seat, and boom, the car could see it and would let me drive. It’s like the hidden sensor on some cars is installed the wrong way or something. But if you’ve gotten to that step like me, but couldn’t drive, try that.
Beyond that, the app completely stopped working for me yesterday. Would not connect, but also would not let me access the manage screen to unpair my phone. I ended up needing to completely uninstall the app, put it back, delete a profile in the car, make a new one, and perform the TCAM reset (the soft one restarting the console and holding the defrost). After that it finally let me pair my phone again and the app works again (and the PAK).
Other than the stupid app, love the car! 😂
submitted by fletchlivz to Polestar [link] [comments]


2023.03.22 16:45 Advanced_Hawk9597 Strange joint problems!

I want to keep this very short.
My Lyme History: diagnosed in 2013-2014, it was caught very late
First months and months I dealt with swollen joints that I couldn’t bend. Over time I became better but not perfect.
I find certain foods like salt can exacerbate joint pain. It’s always kind of there in my hands mostly. I can crack my knuckles just by bend my fingers. My knuckles are always sort of achey and stiff but not overly so.
Two things I’ve noticed:
1.) if I am in a position for too long (holding my phone too long for hands, road trips for knees) it exacerbates the pain and stiffness A LOT. It seems like when I move my joints it helps and when they’re in the same position for periods of time it makes things worse.
2.) I’m a nail biter and have found that if I accidentally bite off skin (gross I know), basically if any pain happens neaon my fingers/hands, I get a joint flare up! Even if it’s just a cut near my nail bed, I will experience a flare up.
That’s what I’ve noticed. Unfortunately doctors haven’t been helpful. Thanks a. Lot
submitted by Advanced_Hawk9597 to Lyme [link] [comments]


2023.03.22 16:45 Hail_Yondalla Fulfillment and Mental Health

Hey, so I might be a little rambling here, in which case bare with me. Or don't, no offense taken for hitting the back button out of this pity party.
So, I normally work in GM and sometimes presentation. Retail always being shit, I don't love my job, but it's not that hard and I deal with it and try to leave it at the door when I clock out. It's usually not that hard. Occasionally though, like right now, there will be a run of a couple of weeks where my ETL inexplicably gives me a ton of fulfillment shifts.
Now, I am a...Person of Advanced Size. This isn't news to me, I am a big fat guy, just north of 300 lbs. In my normal daily life, this is a fact that I'm more or less at peace with. I walk around comfortably, wearing what I want when I find clothes that fit and doing what I want. I have a wife and a son and a hobby/side hustle that I'm good at and proud of. I derive my value from those things and in general am unbothered by my weight or anything else about myself. Except when I'm doing fulfillment.
It's not that my weight makes the job harder. I am tired at the end of the day, for sure, but my numbers in MPM all stay green and are around average for my store. But the way that doing that one specific task makes me feel sends me spiraling. Running around like that makes me feel like I'm constantly getting in everyone's way; accidentally cutting off guests, needing to weave rudely through my coworkers work spaces, blocking drive up TMs from the aisles they're trying to grab stuff out of. It makes me feel like I take up more space than I deserve and it's becoming everyone else's problem. I constantly feel like I'm going to round a corner and bump into someone and hurt them.
Also, making constant laps through my coworkers' work centers makes me self conscious in other ways too. I'm not very close with many of them. It's not anything personal, at least I don't think so, it's just that I'm kind of a quiet person and I'm older than many of them. Not much to to talk about. This being what it is, I have no idea what kind of impression I've made on any of them. As I walk around, I feel like they're staring angrily and disdainfully at me. Like they find my presence inconvenient and gross. I feel like none of my clothes fit right and they're all judging me for it. I feel like I smell bad even though nobody has said anything make me think that. I feel like the two minutes between when I enter their work centers and when I leave is the worst part of their day. I know this is probably mostly in my head, but this specific task fills me with a sort of body dismorphia and general anxiety like nothing else in my adult life.
I'm borrowing an analogy here from Abigail Thorn's pre-transition video essay about men and trauma, but it hits the nail on the head; working fulfillment makes me feel like I'm Shrek. A huge, stinking, gross, clumsy, in the way swamp monster.
I'm not sure why I'm sharing this on Reddit of all places. Probably mostly because I can't afford a therapist and I think bringing this to leadership would just sound like me whining to get out of something I don't want to do. Has anyone else dealt with feeling like this at work?
submitted by Hail_Yondalla to Target [link] [comments]