Throwaway account just in case.
I’m a single father in my early 20s, currently living in Oregon. I share a 1 year old son with a woman also in her early 20s. We currently don’t have any custody agreement in writing, but we split 50/50 custody.
About a year or so ago, she cheated on me with a man over double her age that she had only known for a couple weeks. I immediately ended the relationship, the very next day she enters a relationship with this guy and moves in with him. Me and everyone else in the baby’s family could tell he was a huge creep, but baby mama was too naive to see it and even wanted to bring the baby around him. I kept the baby away from her for 1.5-2 weeks, but eventually ended up agreeing to a 50/50 arrangement outside of court or mediation. Immediately afterwards, she got a restraining order filed against me. She’s a payhological liar, and the entire restraining order was filled with lies. I appealed it, and the judge ruled in my favor in less than 5 minutes and I have 100% proof that she committed perjury at the hearing.
Fast forward ~6-8 months, she leaves the old man for another man about the same age. This guy is a convicted felon on numerous occasions. She moved in with him immediately after leaving the first guy, and when her mother found out she went to his house and took the baby from them and gave him to me. I kept the baby away from her for about 3 weeks, but eventually agree to go back to 50/50 on the conditions that she pass a drug test, let me check out the house, and sign a notarized document going over some basic conditions, such as 50/50 parenting time, no child support on either side, and not abusing or neglecting the baby. She met all the criteria the next day and I reluctantly let her take him.
Fast forward a few months, and we have mediation coming up next week. The baby’s not in nearly as good of a mood as he used to be in ever since she got with this new guy, even when it’s my week with him (we each keep him 7 days at a time). He’s always really happy to see me, as well as both his grandmas and other relatives, but whenever he sees his mom he immediately starts crying and runs to me. Whenever I pick him up from her house, he always smells like cigarettes. I’m thinking I should just get full custody and not give her any more chances, but I’m not sure that at this point I’d be able to get it.
So that’s my first question, do the lawyers of Reddit think I’d be able to get full custody? My second question is, I’m from the east coast and I’m only staying out here because of the baby. I would really like to move back home and if I get full custody, would it be easy for me to move back with the baby?
Thanks in advance everyone!

Whenever i try to clip something while i play a game it seems to just not clip ir, i started having this issue about 3 days ago or so, im just at ease playing Apex or CS:GO and whenever i click my clipping button i dont hear a noise or even see the overlay even though it says on the app that its capturing my game, ive tried uninstalling and reinstalling it twice now with no success, could this be because my folder has a lot of clips? (about 1200 or so) i also have elevated capture on and it seems that whenever i turn my desktop capture on i can clip when i go on my game for a couple seconds, is this an issue waiting to be fixed or is it just me?

So, like. Ok. I don't think this is ever going to actually become A Thing™, obviously. But that hasn't stopped me before, and it isn't going to now.
I've listened to a little Tally Hall for a while, but recently I've gotten more into them by way of Miracle Musical. Every now and then, when I get really into an artist or band, I'll start creating stories to connect their songs together (especially if some of those connections and stories are already in the music), and sometimes that takes the form of drafting out a jukebox musical. Which is what I'm gonna share in this post.
The working title is Marvin's Marvelous Miracle Musical. Definitely wouldn't be the actual title, but it does kinda accurately reflect the structure of the musical: Act I is an assortment of songs from MMMM and Good & Evil, while Act II is the entirety of Hawaii: Pt II in album order. Also, it's a funny name.
In this post, I'll give y'all what I've got so far: The cast list, a list of songs in each act (with who's singing what in parentheses), and a short bit of plot summary next to each song (which will also cover some of the in-between-songs material). As things currently stand, each song is sung in its entirety with no lines changed (though there are a few where small word changes would also work, and like it would be kinda helpful to have an English version of 宇宙ステーションのレベル7 lol). There are ideas for symbolic arcs and staging/acting choices and interpretations of specific lyrics that I won't be going into here but are, like, in my brain because reasons, so feel more than free to ask questions ^^
Heads up: This is going to be a long post.

Cast:

• Simon (name from The Mind Electric/Inside the Mind of Simon): Joint protagonist and childhood friend of Juno.
• Juno (name from Ruler of Everything): Joint protagonist and childhood friend of Simon.
• The Siren (name from Dream Sweet in Sea Major): Joint antagonist and Simon’s imaginary friend.
• The Erlking (name from Murders): Joint antagonist and Juno’s imaginary friend.
• Marvin (name from, like, the concept of MMMM): Juno’s father and town mayor.
• Violet (name for the fact that the Korean word for purple/violet is “bora”): Simon’s mother.
• Sally (name from T.H.I.S. skits “The Pretty One” and “What’s Wrong?”): A friend of Juno.
• Ryan (name from T.H.I.S. segment “Questioned Answers/Tally Mail”): A friend of Simon.
• Ensemble: Various other characters, including school friends and bullies, adult citizens of the town, and assorted spirits and illusory figures.

Act I:

Hidden in the Sand (Marvin, Ensemble): Marvin and Violet meet on the beach, having not seen each other since they broke up years ago. Both, now married to other people, briefly catch up on each other’s lives and watch their kids meet each other for the first time.
Turn the Lights Off (Juno, Simon, Ensemble): Simon and Juno grow up together and become fast friends. They’re misunderstood and often bullied by other kids, but find an escape in the form of imagination games, pretending to be wizards and ghost-hunters and the like. They each create an imaginary friend, and imagine their new companions defending them against the meaner classmates.
The Whole World and You (Ryan, Sally, Ensemble): Simon and Juno are in late middle school, and with how close they are as friends, many other students assume they’re dating. Their other friends give them the idea that maybe they really do like like each other, and they ultimately decide to give things a shot.
Out in the Twilight (Juno, Simon): Now about to graduate high school, Simon and Juno have been going strong; still, much of their relationship seems like more of the same adventures and escapades they went on as kids, just without the make-believe. They’re as of yet unjaded, and greatly looking forward to being more independent and making their own calls in life.
Ruler of Everything (Erlking, Siren, Simon, Juno, Ensemble): Simon and Juno are now married adults, and the faults in their relationship become clearer the more they try to hide who they truly are and fit the mold that’s expected of them, both in their interpersonal life and in the world at large. The Siren and Erlking, their old imaginary friends, resurface and watch from afar as the two live their lives, calling out the couple’s facades to no avail.
Just Apathy (Simon, Juno): Simon and Juno confront the problems in their relationship—in part, both realizing/owning that they aren’t straight, and have been trying to force a romantic attraction that isn’t there—and while ultimately they seem willing to commit to one another platonically, they don’t feel their relationship can continue the way it’s been going.
A Lady (Erlking, Siren, Ensemble): The Siren and the Erlking formulate a plan while Simon and Juno are sleep, out of fear that if the couple is no longer with each other, they’ll forget their old friends entirely, thus causing them to fade from existence. As the two are dreaming, their not-yet-fully-forgotten imaginary friends try to inspire them back into their old ways.
Misery Fell (Juno, Simon, Siren, Erlking, Ensemble): Having had strange dreams the night before, Simon and Juno grow disenchanted with the life they’ve been trying to lead, and find a sudden burst of motivation to seek out a better way of being (this being the Siren and Erlking’s doing). They run through the town, at first starry-eyed and eventually near-manic, and at the end of the song, an unspeakable idea seems to have struck them both.
Taken for a Ride (Marvin, Simon, Juno, Violet, Ensemble): Marvin is burnt out from mayoral duties but soldiering on with a more resentful and power-hungry attitude. Over the course of the song, he steadily breaks with reality, and it’s revealed that Simon and Juno are ostensibly behind this, with the two performing a ritual that mirrors the magic they played out as kids, only more potent. While their goal was only to bring more wonder and weirdness to the town, the damage is much more acute. Marvin is found alive but unwaking the next day, and when Violet tries to figure out what happened to him, she too gets too close to the gap between reality and dream and falls unconscious in much the same way, this time before Simon and Juno's eyes.
Fate of the Stars (Simon, Juno, Ensemble): As the sun sets, Simon and Juno attempt to figure out what’s happening, it dawning on them that they’ve done something seriously wrong. Reality slowly appears to turn into a stranger and stranger funhouse mirror reflection of itself, with the ensemble of their friends singing ominous warnings to them as if possessed, until the two suddenly find themselves decidedly “not in Kansas anymore.” They eventually make it solid ground, but are unable to wake up from whatever dream they’re in.
& (Erlking, Siren): The Siren and the Erlking, now appearing as adults, confront Simon and Juno to make their motives clear. Since the two were bound to leave each other one way or another, the imaginary friends sought out another means of securing their existence: pulling their creators into their reality so they could have them for themselves, with Marvin and Violet as mere unintended collateral. As twilight fades and night begins, the two pairs (Simon and the Siren, and Juno and the Erlking) find themselves torn from each other. While both imaginary friends seem eager to spend eternity in this dream with their humans, Simon and Juno push them away, eventually causing them to temporarily disappear with a promise that they'll eventually be back for more—if the couple doesn't seek them out or bring them back themselves.

Intermission

Act II:

Introduction to the Snow (Simon): Considerable time has passed within the dreamscape between acts. Both Simon and Juno are trying to find ways to reunite with each other for longer than a single twilight, and to escape the dream. Turning to the sort of magic that brought him here, Simon gains a prophetic glimpse into the way his story will ultimately end: in a snowy place, without Juno, and with him joining the Siren, who promises that he will "live forever tonight."
Isle Unto Thyself (Juno, Simon, Ensemble): Juno, with the methods she's been working at over time, is briefly able to hear Simon, from which she gains the impression that he’s decided to leave her and stay with the Siren (when in fact, he’s only seeking out the Siren in order to eventually escape with Juno). Juno sings about her feelings of heartbreak, while Simon prepares to call forth the Siren within the confines of a summoning circle, for negotiations.
Black Rainbows (Siren, Ensemble): Simon successfully summons the Siren, who explains how she plans to make things right, by reworking the dream and allowing it to continue indefinitely in a state of created perfection. Juno will finally live a happy life in a world that accepts her, and with a partner who can “fully love her”, and Simon will do the same; the implication that the two will have to be apart for things to be perfect is strong, though unspoken directly. The Siren regales Simon with a wild display of rainbow lights as she speaks, in an attempt to impress and distract him.
White Ball (Simon, Siren): While Simon is distracted, the Siren escapes the summoning circle, and steadily works a spell over Simon to make him fall in (some form or another of) love with her, ultimately so he’ll forget his quest for Juno and go along unquestioningly with her own plans instead. The two dance together as the magic slowly grows stronger and stronger.
Murders (Juno, Erlking): Having caught another brief glimpse of Simon, Juno becomes enraged and begrudgingly seeks out the Erlking’s assistance. They meet at the Fountain of Infinite Mirror, and the Erlking pushes Juno to murder Simon within the dream, dipping a dagger into the fountain’s psychically poisonous waters to give to her as a weapon. Dawn arrives, and Simon and Juno are able to see and hear each other at last. Juno goes in for the “kill,” only to find that as Simon desperately explains what he was trying to do for the both of them, she is momentarily unable to control her actions and stabs Simon in the head, before the Erlking withdraws the magic he’s been working over her.
Space Station Level 7 (Violet, Simon, Ensemble): Violet emerges from the recesses of the dreamscape as the song begins, searching for something or someone she recognizes, and telling herself that she’ll be alright in the end. She finds Simon, still alive in some sense, but clearly deeply confused and in anguish. She stays by his side and sings to him in his distress, reassuring them both that they’ll make it back home—that as many painful memories as life there holds for both of them, those are ultimately what make the good moments truly valuable. As the sky grows darker and the dreamscape grows more chaotic, Violet runs and attempts to take Simon with her, but he stays behind.
The Mind Electric (Erlking, Simon, Juno, Ensemble): Juno attempts to find her way through the fracturing dreamscape, while the Erlking tells her his plans for what to do with the dream. The longer they stay, the closer the dream gets to total undone chaos, but he promises to make something new, something better (than the current state of things and than the Siren's proposed ending), from the wreckage of the old—so long as Juno doesn’t leave or forget about him. It's strongly implied that the attempted murder of Simon was a ploy to make Juno more likely to go along with this plan. Juno remains skeptical. As the song switches direction, she finds Simon in a nightmare of his own mind’s unwilling creation, and sticks it out with him while both the Siren and Erlking attempt to regain control over their former friends, and ultimately over the eventual state of the entire dream. Simon and Juno fight back, shaking off the magic cast over them only to gain a much clearer picture of the danger they’re truly in—that if the dream does go to ruin, they'll go with it.
Labyrinth (Siren, Juno, Simon): Simon and Juno find themselves trapped in a labyrinth of their imaginary friends’ joint creation, their last desperate bid to get what—and who—they want. It seems as though there are only two ways out: towards the Siren’s ending, or towards the Erlking’s. The couple try to make their way through, facing various fears within the labyrinth along the way, while repeatedly dodging the fear that one of those two paths is ultimately inevitable if they want the pandemonium to end. They eventually reason that, even if it's only pushing the end down the line, there is a third way out for now: the twilight is soon to be over, and the two will be pulled away from this place. Over the end of the song, the two manage to find some amount of peace within the labyrinth as they await their escape, mixed with the grief of leaving each other again and the fear of what will come next.
Time Machine (Marvin, Juno): Day breaks, separating Simon and Juno. The dream continues to destabilize further and further. Juno finds Marvin, who’s been desperately scrambling to go back in time to before his sense of reality broke—and, as Juno finds, to before he and Violet left each other, so he can get a second chance at their relationship. Juno stops him (if Marvin and Violet never break up, then Juno and Simon both cease to exist), but realizes she can make use of the strange contraption he’s pulled together. She considers the places she could go—far back in time to live a life she didn’t get the chance to live... maybe even far forward, to when everything sorted out as per the Erlking’s plans, if it really must come to that. Before making her leave, though, she stops at the next twilight to say her goodbyes to Simon.
Stranded Lullaby (Simon, Juno): Juno finds Simon in the middle of the ocean, reluctantly drifting towards the Siren's shores out of the same sense of defeat she felt in the time machine. In that moment, she finds herself unwilling to leave him behind. While afloat in the nearly-broken dream, the two sing to one another about reuniting, about the ways they failed each other in the past, and about their inability to control where they’re headed anymore. In the last moments before it seems their fate is to be decided, they resolve to do as right by each other as they can: to try to better understand each other without needing to fix anything.
Dream Sweet in Sea Major (Simon, Juno, Siren, Erlking, Ensemble): Simon and Juno wash up on the shore of the snowy place that Simon had foreseen; the Siren waits for him, and the end she planned seems near. Simon, however, chooses Juno instead, with the two abandoning either plan presented to them and electing to find their own way through the chaos together. Initially unsure of what to do, the two become lucid to what happened to them while asleep back in Act I, and how they might be able to pull the same tricks as their imaginary friends did then. They find their real-world sleeping selves through the cracks in reality, wake them up (along with Marvin and Violet), and gently guide their real selves away from their old habits and external pressures and towards the things they wish they'd done sooner, before easing off the reins and watching themselves live the lives they actually wanted to. Real-life Simon and Juno ultimately start relationships with Ryan and Sally respectively, while remaining faster friends with each other than ever before. The Siren and Erlking accept that they are going to die, and try to make their last night together as romantic as they can as the world vibrantly falls apart. At the end of the song, the parts of Simon and Juno that remain in the dream—perhaps the selves they used to be, or that they tried so hard to pretend to be—realize they’re going to die as well, as the true Simon and Juno live on.

After the Show:

The Bidding (All): The cast members and portions of the ensemble come on stage one by one for bows, with the ensemble (led by Sally and Ryan) singing the choruses and post-chorus and the main cast singing sections of the verses and bridge in this order: Violet, Marvin, Erlking, Siren, Juno, Simon.
(Welcome to Tally Hall or Good Day (All): Optionally, the cast and crew all sing this on stage after bows.)
"Score" Playlist

First time poster so here it goes.
My MIL is completely irresponsible with money. She is $20,000 in credit card debit, doesn't own a home, barely holding a job, has ZERO retirement while living in one of the most expensive cites--Phoenix, AZ. We bought our new home last year and we agreed that we weren't going to participate in her irresponsible financial behavior so, we have not allowed her to fly across the country to visit us (we live in South Carolina). She rambles on and on about how living a life of service (she is a glorified art teacher, no clinical degree or license) is her destiny and she AND YET spends lavishing on things and trips she can't afford and begs others for money. She vilifies anyone who makes money (I'm a Orthopedic Certified Specialist in Physical Therapy and she thinks I am immoral because I get paid for my services).
We have tried to tell her-- gently at first and when that didn't work, we started to apply the pressure--that at 60 years old she needs to make better choices because her actions are going to cause her 4 children a LOT of burden and hardship in the future because elder care is EXPENSIVE. And that her debt is unmanageable, and she needs to make changes to mitigate this. This all falls on deaf ears and she lashes out when we ask her to demonstrate positive growth.
She refuses to change and accept responsibility. She is constantly blaming others and projecting her behavior. It is eating away at my partner because he loves his mother, but this behavior is toxic. She has verbally abused us when we establish reasonable boundaries and continues to turn other family members against us because we are trying to hold her accountable to her actions (both financial and lack of emotional intelligence).
If anyone has any advice, it would be much appreciated. I am constantly walking this tightrope of "stay out of it, protect yourself" and "fuck, she's not going to treat people that I love like this."
Thank you for your time,
K.C.
TLDR: My MIL has no retirement, no savings. She is narcissist and has no accountability for her neurotic behavior and I am completely at a loss for what to do. Please help.

let’s chat i have nothing better to do !!
hey guys i’m looking for friends or just ppl to talk w right now i’m super bored.
anyways a little about me i’m really into music, psychology, art and philosophy. i spend a lot of thinking and day dreaming.
pls don’t message me anything weird/creepy thanks.

I’ve been at it 20 years, and for about half of that, our hs had a strict attendance policy: miss 20 days and you’re dropped. Lateness counts for half an absence.
We’ve had some misguided idealists in central office in the last decade, and this policy fell to the wayside. Our attendance since have been declining - drastically after Covid.
Forget the whole year…I’ve had kids absent 20 times in the first quarter alone.
Today was a great case in point: there was a field trip with about 1/3 of the sophomore class going. Kids who didn’t go duped their parents into thinking “no one’s gonna be in school, so we’re doing nothing today.”
The result: I averaged 7 kids in classes that should have had 28. I was livid.
So for the ones who did show up, I blessed them with a quiz. After the initial grumbles subsided, I told them this was a gift. Can’t recall all the questions, but a few were…
What’s your favorite color? Favorite pet? Draw a smiley face…
Then I told them write 100 on the top and pass them up.
Kids that banged in with no excuse are taking the zero. The field trip kids got a free 100.
I’m anticipating angry emails tomorrow, but at this point I don’t gaf.
Sorry…that’s off my chest.
Just wondering if anyone else is dealing with this bs. Do you have an attendance policy? Is it effective?

I wish you were here..grief is an out of body experience different from sadness. Grief you feel In every ounce of your body down your soul.. it lingers there like a nightmare you have every day and night but what if that grief and soul crushing pain is being felt for someone who’s alive? Someone you know you can help or have you lead yourself down this false hope of salvation. If only right? If I had only fought harder.. If I had spoken up sooner and fought for your truth and mine would you still be here. If I stood up to our monster and said something to someone could you be with me right now? Sissy I did, I said something. Now he’s where he belongs in a cold cement room sleeping on the floor. Sissy he’s waiting to die from the poison he’s continued to put in his body. Can you come home to me now? You’re safe, I’m going to keep you safe I promise. If I had only been there when you needed me the most would you have chosen this path? I’m sorry I was in so much pain I didn’t pay attention to yours like I needed to. This time though it’s me and you through thick and thin. Sissy your not alone Sissy I believe you and forget every one who doesn’t. You’re beautiful You have the kind of heart that moves mountains You are so smart You are the most patient and gentle mother and you’re an amazing mother. You are strong enough, you can fight this. Please come back, we don’t have to protect her anymore..her disbelief in our nightmare we lived our entire childhood isn’t important to her. I tried.. I fought for her support but she can’t give it. It’s okay though, we have each other. Always. That poison only helps you forget, numb the pain but let’s heal together, you and me okay? I can help. Come back to me.. we all miss you more than the words I write.

There's a lot to love about this game but i feel like its just kicking me in the nuts Repeatedly.
I hate how hard and miss leading the summon system works. I really want Taneleer i been saving up those stupid hearts to unlock him but he recently got a summon banner were it said Guaranteed in 10.
I have never done a 10 summon before so stupid me thought it ment i would get him from a 10 stone summon. But i never.. it says 9 now. so what do they want me to do? Use the 10 summon 10 times in 12 days? I also hate that %90 of the time a summon is some random BS item or a small fragment of a character and not a character.
Am I missing something is it really supposed to be seemingly this unfair? How can this game be successful with a BS system like i been playing it off and on for a month now because of how hard it os to get any Characters im stuck with the ones the game gave to me for free because of story and honestly its not holding my attention because of this. In other games summoning is exciting you get a new character you hope its the one you like. In this game its i hope i get a character maybe i will like him.

Hello! If you've manage to stumble your way into this post, hopefully today will be our lucky day. I am 21 and looking for someone around my age, though I'm not too strict about it, at least on the older side, please be 18 at least. I'm looking to roleplay in a couple fandoms. Now, first off I must say I only roleplay canon characters. OCs have never quite to my liking as I find it so much more fun and interesting to play the characters that have made us fall in love with these franchises.
I roleplay through discord but am open to any other sites if you prefer them. I ask that you are literate. I like to be detailed, really paint a picture of a scene or delve deep into what our characters are thinking. I'm not asking for novella length posts (though I would LOVE if we could do that) but I do ask that you put passion into the writing, it is what makes this magical!
I give a great deal of importance to character development. I love to delve deep into what makes a character who they are, their motivation, their outlook on life, and the relationships they form with the people around them! There are a few exceptions, but most of the time romance always finds itself at the center or at least near the center of most of the stories I roleplay. I love slow burns, seeing the relationship between two characters evolve as they grow closer. Some of my other favorites tropes when writing is enemies to lovers and found family. I also love playing an ensemble cast! I love paying attention to side characters as much as main characters to the point where everyone feels like a rich character!
As for the story and plot itself, let's come up with something together! I am down to play any kind of storyline. Something original, AUs where our characters are together in a famous storyline of their own maybe? Anything goes!
Now, for OOC. I absolutely love chatting with my partners. This is a hobby! Let's enjoy it together! Talk about it, be friends! I love sharing any kind of art that inspires me or reminds me of our story, I'm a huge fan of music and will share songs that I think represent our characters. Let's not just be partners but friends as well!
Now, as for the actual fandoms here they are along with the characters I would like to play:
Star Wars: This one is perhaps the one I am craving the most. I would absolutely love to do a Han and Leia roleplay. Maybe an AU where they managed to all escape cloud city and are now being chased by the empire and Jabba, or right after return of the jedi as they rebuild the republic. I would love to focus on their early romance, their dynamic was always the best part of the movies and I wanna fully explore it. Now while this pairing is the main one I would like to do, there are a lot of other stories I'd like to explore! Hit me up and let me know what pairings you'd like to do and I'm sure we can work it out.
DC: This one has a lot of potential for really complex relationships I feel. I would love to do something like Batman and Catwoman or something more strange like Nightwing and Harley, I'm super open for any ideas you might have! Now I will say my knowledge of DC mostly extends to batman and a little of the teen titans, anything outside we can make work but it might be harder for me.
One Piece: While this is one of my favorite series of all time, I've always felt like the one thing it's been really missing since the early days is strong character development and relationships. I would love to explore any pairings that rise amongst the straw hats. My particular favorites are Usopp and Nami, Robin and Franky, Luffy and Nami, and one that I particularly would love to do is an AU where Vivi did end up going with them. I'd love to explore a romance with Luffy. Of course for a series like this we really have to humanize the characters more than they are originally, like Luffy would not be as unrealistically clueless as he is, or Nami wouldn't be as compulsively obsessed with money as she regularly is. Something a little more nuanced that allows us to develop our characters. But I think that would be a lot of fun!
If you are still here I thank you! And if you're interested send me a message! And please don't make it a simple "Hey wanna rp?" I most likely won't respond to messages like that. Let me know some of your ideas! What characters you'd like to play. Anything that's on your mind!

Me and my partner are in a long distance relationship where I more often than not I go see him as I’m a student and my timetable has more leniency to travel.
The problems in our relationship boils down to that I feel under appreciated and that my partners effort in our relationship wavers a lot. When my partner puts effort into our relationship for example planning dates and spends quality time with me (quality time is my love language) I couldn’t be happier and he’s the only one I want.
However his effort wavers a lot and this just makes me feel rubbish. When I go see him if I go for five days say he’ll go out either 2 or 3 of those days in the evening after coming home from work so I’ll be left alone with his parents. His parents are nice enough and I do my own thing mostly hanging out with the cat and revising/watching TV.
So on those days I see him for 1 or 2 hours he comes back late and then wakes me up and tells me about his time with friends. I don’t go with him as one of his friends makes me very uncomfortable as he’d always ask me intrusive questions regarding the time my partner would come see me. For example always asking when did he go to see you? When did he get back? Why did he go?
Due to his friend I feel like I can’t just spend time with him without being seen as the bitch or seen as controlling so I always feel anxious if his friends invite him out and he doesn’t go. Then I worry they’ll call me a bitch and call me controlling so I always tell him to go because otherwise I go into a panic.
I’ve told him before and stressed before that I need quality time. However it just never seems to stick in his head and it frustrates me. The time he does spend with me he’s often on his phone and then he doesn’t really plan anything for us to do most of our dates come from me planning them or from his mothers suggestions.
I’m just tired and I just don’t want to keep feeling like I’m nagging him I’m just getting tired. I feel like I deserve so much more.
I plan dates, I get him his favourite foods when he comes to see me, I used to make his lunch for work and write love notes in them, I ask him questions that start deep conversations, I support his dreams and his hobbies, I got him his own wash bag filled with the products he uses for when he comes to see me, I make handmade cards for special occasions including his parents birthdays, I get his mother flowers, I help cook dinner and help with washing up when I’m at his parents house, I got him cream for his hands as he works with harsh chemicals, I got an app where we answer questions about our relationship that strengthens our intimacy.
Having said that I know I don’t always do things right but I apologise and say I’m wrong, mostly this is being wrong about mishearing something he’s said.
I’m just tired and I don’t know what to do. I know most people will say just talk to him but I have so many times that I’m just getting frustrated and tired.

Soo it will be my first sim i’m pc player so the compatibility with console doesn’t matter i want to play mostly assetto for learning drifting better , ets2 a little of forza carx dirt rally 2.0 and fs22 soo I’m think of buying moza r5 bundle with shiffter and handbrake but lately I’m thinking saving the money and go with either of g29/920 because cheaper and i saw some videos of g29 and r5 the g29 i think has a week ffb and moza r5 have some problems like the brake puddle i know no thing is perfect i thought of the t300 but because his price and my Country same as moza why don’t go moza and the t300 now it’s old like the g29/920 the g923 very expensive for his performance … yes last thing i tried the moza r9 in internet coffee at his maximum ffb I couldn’t handle it reduce it to 60% and i’m driving in real live i’m not i child actually in university playing in free time mybe 4 hours a day 🌚
Soo please give your opinion what i choose save the money and go logitech or go moza or if you have any better choices write it

THANK GOD FOR 12 DAYS FREE FROM THIS DISEASE

The title screen was shown once again, the Aftermath theme playing as the flaring letters took the scene back to the beach where Josh was now standing alone.
"Welcome back to the Total Drama Aftermath!" he greeted. "Bruno's been restrained, and now we're going to take this episode to the next level of excitement. Here's Dawn with the deets!"
"Thanks, Josh!" Dawn said as the scene cut to a cliff near a large waterfall, the Peanut Gallery members assembled closer to the edge and divided roughly based on who they were supporting. "So, have any of you missed being in the game?"
The camera cut closer to the nineteen former competitors, none of whom said anything.
"That's what I expected!" Dawn continued, "because you're going to be competing to help your favorite Final Three contestants win!" he said as the camera panned over the unenthused faces of the gallery.
"Unsurprisingly," Dawn said, looking at the lack of Mal supporters, "no one has Mal's back for the finale."
"If it was Mike, then some of us would switch sides just to support him," Eva said.
"Good point," Dawn nodded, "but this challenge won't work that well because of it. So temporarily, I'd like some of you to switch over to Mal's side."
"Not going to happen," Ella disagreed.
"Definitely," Sadie agreed.
"Just think of it as supporting Mike, or else I'll make you do so," Dawn got serious.
Not having a choice, Beth, Brick, Cody, Courtney, Shawn, and Sky stepped over to Mal's side.
"I'm glad to hear you guys are so passionate about who you're supporting," Josh said as he walked up to the group, "because one member of each team is about to risk their lives for their favorite! Any volunteers?"
"I will volunteer," Ella immediately volunteered for Team Ezekiel.
"But I wanted to do it," Harold said.
"Surfing the waves can improve my mood, and I need a stress reducing activity to take part in," Ella mentioned.
"Let me be Mal's proxy," Shawn told his team. "I could use more screentime."
"You are skilled enough to go on a surfing mission," Cody said. "Go for it."
"Thanks!" Shawn cheered. "I get to show you all my newfound surfing skills."
"And who's going to represent Team Izzy?" Dawn asked the team.
"Ooh! Me me me!" Owen stepped up immediately.
"Perfect! Let's take a look at what Ella, Shawn, and Owen are up against," Josh said with a knowing look at the camera, and the shot cut to the bottom of a lower cliff face with a staircase carved into it. "Players have to race to the top," the host said as the shot panned upward a little ways to another grassy area where a trio of wooden heads sat behind a simple altar, the central one large and intimidating, "and then snag one of the traditional Hawaiian leis from Lono, the Hawaiian god of prosperity and sporting events." The camera zoomed in close to the central wooden depiction of the god, then panned leftward to six surfboards in a variety of colors and styles standing nearby.
"Then, grab a surfboard and take it back down the stream!" Josh continued, the camera moving towards a rapid stream running down a fairly steep slope. "And when you get to the bottom, watch out! There's a bit of a lava spray nearby," the host said, the camera cutting to the mouth of the stream at a waterfall situated next to a small but active lava vent that shot out a small burst of molten rock. A few yards away from the stream's mouth, floating on the ocean, were a trio of rafts that were empty save the flag each bearing a face of one of the finalists.
Ella, Owen, and Shawn gasped in shock.
"It's a good thing no one got heavily injured," Dawn quietly told Josh. "Everyone's in perfect shape for this challenge."
"First though," Josh said as the shot zoomed out to reveal the large blackboard that had been wheeled next to them, "here are some pictures of animals you can find in Hawaii!" he said, motioning to the images on the board.
"If you went to the Maui Zoo!" Dawn added.
"Each team must pick an animal to represent the spirit of their player," Josh explained as the camera zoomed in for a closer look at the choices: bear, dolphin, Doberman Pinscher, shark, deer, jaguar, rhinoceros, raccoon, moose, lion, and kangaroo.
"Owen," he turned first to the optimist, "which animal do you think best represents Izzy?"
"I'm going to go with the jaguar," Owen responded. "They're both super fast."
"So Izzy's spirit animal is a jaguar!" Dawn said with a smile. "Shawn, can you choose for Mal?"
"Drats," Shawn said. "There are so many vicious ones?" He stared at the board for a few moments.
"You do realize this show's half-hour right?" Josh asked impatiently.
"It's only twenty-two minutes," Shawn corrected. "And that's counting the opening and closing credits. I got it!" he declared suddenly. "Shark. Mal is a shark."
"That's a not so obvious choice," Dawn deadpanned.
"Sharks aim to kill, and Mal has the same motive," Shawn said.
"Ella, you're next. What's your choice for Ezekiel?" Josh asked the princess.
"Deer," Ella said confidently. "Ezekiel's a deer."
"Why are you picking a deer for Ezekiel?" Duncan asked.
"He's pure when compared to Izzy and especially Mal," Ella answered.
Josh spoke up. "Here's the catch: If you can make it all the way down the stream and past the lava spray without losing your leis," he explained as the camera cut to the mouth of the stream as another spurt of molten rock shot out of the vent, "you have to put that lei on your team's spirit animal to win." The shot moved down to the three rafts, upon which the three chosen animals were now standing tethered to the posts holding up the pictures of the finalists: Ezekiel's deer on the right; Mal's shark in the middle; and Izzy's jaguar on the left. The black male intern finished adjusting a collar on the jaguar's neck and the animal snarled at him, prompting the intern to fearfully turn and dive into the water.
"Looks like we made good decisions with our animals," Shawn told Ella. "Sad to say, but I'm dominating this challenge."
"Getting a lei on a shark will be harder than a deer," Ella replied.
"I really hope that jaguar doesn't eat my lei," Owen begged to himself.
"Whoever manages to lei their animal first will win a major advantage for their finalist, and whoever gets second will win a modest advantage," Dawn announced.
"And last place gets nothing," Josh added, "which will make winning really hard for their finalist, assuming they can even make it to the final challenge."
"Good luck!" Dawn told them brightly.
"And go!" Josh set them off.
Shawn struck a karate pose. "Prepare to lose to my combat and survival skills!" He ran off at top speed, leaving Owen and Ella behind.
"That advantage belongs to Ezekiel," Ella added before running off as well.
"Up I go," Owen said to himself before running in the opposite direction…only to realize his mistake and ran to where Ella and Shawn went.
\
The footage flashed ahead, showing the leis and the giant carved head of Lono as Shawn skidded up to it in his normal clothes. "Mighty Lono," he said reverently, "thank you for this flowery blessing!" He picked up a lei. "I may have forgotten my swim trunks, but I won't let you down!" he said as he looked to the sky.
It was stolen, however, by the sudden reappearance of Ella, now changed into her pink short dress-like one piece. "We'll see about that," the princess said as the conspiracy boy scowled.
Owen was the last to arrive, wearing a pair of orange trunks. He was panting as he ran and bashed his head against every low-hanging tree branch he encountered. When he finally made it to the leis, he stopped long enough to pant. "Whoo, that is steep. But I made it."
The trademark dings of a musical number sounded, the note icon appearing just above Owen.
"Sorry," Dawn said as she walked up, "but Chris said we have to make you sing a song."
"Aww man. I thought we were done with that," Shawn griped.
"I didn't mind it now," Ella said. "So what are we supposed to sing about?" she asked Dawn.
"Just a challenge song," Dawn told her.
///\
[A drumline opened the song, an acoustic guitar soon joining in as Ella bobbed her head to the rhythm.]
"Doing this Hawaii style; surfing through this magic mile!"
[The waterfall and cliff were shown from a distance as she began singing, then the shot cut in close to the surfboards again as she grabbed a yellow one, spun it around, and dipped it as though it was a dance partner.]
"Just hope I can get past by, the lava that is flying!"
[A quick pan showed the stream below, then returned to the clifftop as Ella looked down determinedly, then jumped with her lei in one hand and her board beneath her.]
"One last chance to prove my might; what else keeps me up at night!"
[Shawn sang next, looking down thoughtfully with his lei clenched in his left fist; he extended his right hand as if to grab something, then spun around and grabbed a red and orange striped surfboard from the row.]
"Why else would I volunteer, for something death-defying?!"
[He smiled confidently, then sang as he ran across to the cliff's edge, jumping into the air and putting his board beneath him. A splash was heard as the scene cut to the stream.]
"I'm winning for real!"
[Ella sang confidently, Shawm soon catching up, singing "Yeah yeah!"]
"I'm winning this deal!"
[Shawn shot back, pulling ahead as Ella repeated "Yeah yeah!"]
"I'm a surfing goddess!"
[Ella countered, pulling ahead again as Shawn sang "Yeah yeah!"]
"You're put to the test!"
[Shawn countered back as he regained the lead, Ella once again repeating "Yeah yeah!" as she caught back up.]
"I'm not stiff, but I don't move much! So what if I can't such and such!"
[Owen sang as the focus moved back to him on the top of the cliff, holding his green surfboard with a lucky charm implanted as if it were a dance partner. He stopped 'dancing' to hold his lei.]
"I'm the king...of Izzy's team! So! I'll show them I'm a winner!"
[He deftly moved behind his surfboard and shoved it to the cliff. The camera cut to the cliff as it soared toward the edge, but cut away before it was shown falling off.]
"I'm winning for Zeke!"
[Ella sang, the focus cutting back to her close-up. In the background, Shawn and Owen sang "Yeah yeah!" together.]
"'Cause I'm not weak!"
[The camera pulled back to show an image of Ezekiel sitting on the surfboard and waving to a happy Ella before disappearing in a sudden puff. Once again, Owen and Shawn sang "Yeah yeah!" in the background.]
"I'm surfing for Mal!"
[Shawn sang as the camera cut to him, showing an image of Mal sitting on the edge of the surfboard and smiling triumphantly. In the background, Ella and Owen sang "Yeah yeah!"]
"And he's not my pal!"
[Shawn sang skeptically, the image of Mal on his board squinting her eyes in frustration and disappearing with a puff.
"Aaahhh!" Ella suddenly yelped, gaining the attention of both Shawn and the camera. "Hot hot hot!" she said in a slight panic as she ducked under a few burning rocks that had been ejected from the volcanic vent. "Ahh!" she finished as the tip of her board was singed by one.
"Ah!" Shawn said, the camera cutting back to him as he also tried to dodge the semi-molten rock and got his board burned in the process. "No fair!"]
"This is messed up, it's true!"
[Owen sang to a few pointed drum beats, the shot cutting to a close-up of him in a surfing pose.]
"I'm not planning to sue!"
[The camera pulled back to show Owen riding his surfboard through the lava spray.]
"Step aside and let me through!"
[Shawn sang to Ella, speeding up and passing her; in the background, all three of their voices chanted "Yeah yeah!"]
"I'm not quitting soo~oon!"
[Ella countered, quickly catching up so that she and Shawn were vying for the lead. Once again, all three of their voices chanted "Yeah yeah!" in the background.]
"Oh~oh, I'm winning this ti~ime!"
[Ella continued, taking the lead briefly as the three voices chanted "Yeah yeah!" once again.]
"Sorry Ella, it's mine!"
[Shawn countered, taking the lead again as the three voices chanted "Yeah yeah!"]
"Sorry but I'm be-hind!"
[Owen told them, catching up to them but not gaining the lead.]
"Oh~oh, I'm winning this time!"
[The three sang together, the camera zooming out to show Shawn in the lead, Ella behind him, and Owen in the rear.]
"Yeah, yeah, yeah!"
[The three sang together again, finishing out the song.]
///
Shawn was still in the lead after the music faded out, and was quickly faced with another volley of burning rocks. He quickly swerved out of the way of one after the other. He quickly looked back, but in his distraction, allowed another burning rock to land on his board just as he shot off the final waterfall.
He smiled confidently, then looked down and noticed the rock burning his board. "That isn't good!" he said, his panic causing him to throw his lei a little early. He splashed down safely into the ocean, but the ring of flowers didn't quite make it all the way to its intended target – it only landed in the tank, and was promptly picked up and swallowed by the shark. The shark laughed playfully, earning a groan from Shawn.
"WOOHOO!" Owen cheered as he fell off his board and landed in the ocean. The camera followed the surfboard as it sailed through the air with the lei on top... and was kicked by the jaguar into the water herself.
"Ooh," Dawn and Josh winced from the host couch.
"Whoops," Owen winced as the camera cut to him.
He was promptly alerted by a scream overhead, and looked up to see Ella finally shooting over the waterfall on her board. She flew straight for her target, and the deer smiled at the human coming its way. The princess managed to splash down right in front of the raft and let the lei loose as she did so, and she managed to hook it on the deer's antlers. Ella resurfaced behind the raft.
"Did I win?" she said, looking around as she caught her breath.
"Ella won it!" Josh said as the scene returned to the hosts and the crowd went wild.
"The others were close though," Dawn added.
"So is Bruno going to be sent to your animal shelter?" Josh asked the moonchild.
"He is, but I'm going to ask Ella to take care of him by singing her songs in case he acts out of control," Dawn winked.
A cough interrupted them. "Sorry," Ella said as she walked up, Shawn and Owen right behind her and all three still dripping wet, "but what did I win?"
Josh smiled. "That was an impressive display, Ella," Josh told her, "but, no one was actually supposed to win."
"What?" the three challenge competitors said at once, the crowd wincing and murmuring their obvious disapproval.
"It was Chris's idea," Dawn explained. "But someone did win, because all of you are excellent!" She looked at the camera, and the crowd cheered. "And thanks to Ella, Ezekiel is going to receive a major advantage to use in the final challenge!" As she spoke, the black male intern brought a wheelbarrow out center stage. "Which is good for our underdog of the season," she added. "A wheelbarrow!" she announced, the camera moving in for a close-up of the tool. "It'll make sense later," she added as and aside.
"Team Mal, congrats," she continued. "You win the minor advantage: a baby stroller!" A white male intern wheeled the carriage out next to the wheelbarrow.
"And since Team Izzy came in last," Josh announced, "Izzy wins nothing but chance of losing the finale!"
Dawn laughed a bit. "That's not going to help her in the final challenge."
"How will Ezekiel's advantage play out?" Dawn asked the camera with a smile. "Will Mal be able to keep up with just a stroller? Will Izzy even be able to keep up with her disadvantage?"
"How in the name of Lono will any of them get here for the finale?" Josh added.
"Find out the answers to those and a lot of other questions next time," Dawn said as the season's blaring title music played, "on Total! Drama! World Tour!"
(Roll the Credits)
\
(Bonus Clip)
The clip opened to the Hawaiian beach. Ella was reclining on a chair in her swimsuit as Ron and Luna accompanied her.
"Now remember, Bruno will join the animal shelter, so do your best to make him feel welcome," Ella advised the hawk and rabbit, who nodded in agreement.
She then saw Sadie walking up to her. "Hello Sadie. The episode is over, so you're free to converse with me," Ella said.
Sadie sat next to Ella while Ron and Luna left in order to give them privacy.
"You were right about Mal being in control over Mike, and I didn't believe you because I didn't think anyone could be truly evil," Sadie began her apology.
"You never took into consideration my words, and that really hurt me as we were friends," Ella responded.
"You were right. I was so mean to you, and you were just trying to help me," Sadie said. "I'm sorry for doing those things."
"I should apologize as well. I was too fierce in trying to get you to believe me, and that made you irritated," Ella apologized as well.
"So can we go back to being best friends before the Mal fiasco?" Sadie begged.
"No. BFFFLS!" Ella spoke jovially before they embraced each other and stayed that way for a while.
The camera cut to the left to show Ron, Luna, and Bruno smiling and wiping tears at Ella and Sadie's reconciliation.
18th: Shawn
17th: Amy
16th: Lindsay
15th: Rodney
14th: Jo
Eliminated: Owen
13th: Duncan
12th: Sky
11th: Heather
10th: Cody
9th: Ella
8th: Noah
7th: Sadie
6th: Owen
5th: Eva
4th: Topher

Hi Reddit I guess I’m going to be airing out everything I was too scared to say when I was little to a bunch so strangers because I guess that’s what 20 year olds do now.
I 20f was raised in England by an abusive man who came from a middle class family. The abuse started when I was just a child, I don’t remember the first time it happened however I do remember the last. I remember the car rides to breakfast club where he’d strike me and belittle me. I remember the PE notes I’d be written because I’d have strange unexplainable marks on my body from him which my mother wrote out. I remember him beating my sister who is not biologically is and screaming for him to stop. I remember holding the button down for 999 telling him if he ever raised a hand to me again I would tell them, that I would tell everybody what he does to us.
I spent my childhood thinking my mother was a hero because she never hit me however it turns out she was scared of me. She was scared of me because well I struck my farther back as I got older in an attempt for him not to not hurt me any longer. The abuse was minimal enough for others not to catch on meaning the bruises would be often small and concealed. My mother was no better although she did not hit me I can’t remember a time where I wasn’t in her eyes disgusting or a slut even as a young primary school child.
I remember seeing something in my dads eyes something you do not see in everyone, it’s pure evil. When I tell you this man has something deep inside him that is truly disturbed it isn’t even a guess because well according to him this is generational abuse. He was raised by a rather well off Buisness man and a well off mother, he’s in his 40s now and he still receives cars and holidays off them and extra financial support. My mother was no better when it came to been spoiled either, her first reaction when my grandad passed was the sheer bitterness of her inheritance.
In recent years I have lived mostly with my older sister who has gone on to be a beautiful successful woman, however sometimes you’ll find me in my parents home which is where I’m currently writing from now. If you’re wondering what could’ve possibly inspired me to write this to a bunch of strangers the answer is my grandmas husband recently past away and my mother and farther have been all over her and by all over her I mean all over her money. It’s sad to say but a part of me loves my mother the same way I did when I was a child but then I see her taking advantage of others for her gain and I remember just who she is.
I believe much of there behaviour has been enhanced by there use of cannabis, my parents don’t just casually smoke it no. They smoke it every hour of everyday my dad still manages to hold a job though, well kind of he’s lost about 7 jobs in the past 2 years. My mother is of course a stay at home wife who is conveniently riddled with illnesses which are yet to be proved by a doctor strangely enough my mother has a lot of convenient things happen to her.
I have a wonderful boyfriend who has helped me overcome some of my past, including the evil that even lied in me. I had to accept that I was sometimes no better then him when I’d raise my hands. I have calmed down if you’re wondering and I’m even studying a law degree. One day I will be away from these people and I won’t have to suffer anymore, this is only the very surface of my life and if anyone has experienced similar to what I have I’m sorry they didn’t deserve you as there child and it’s not your fault.
Hope this helps anyone who is in this situation if there’s one thing I could’ve changed I would’ve told someone when I was younger, it might seem scary but I promise enduring it is so much worse. I turn 20 next week and the healing process is long and painful.
I’ll be around to post edits and answer questions, thank you if you read this.

Hello fellow writers!
With summer on the horizon and things changing outside of the roleplay world, I'm in the market for a few plots to get lost in. This currently refers to mainly fandom realms, however alternate universes are on the table as well. And so, here are a few of my favorites.
A Song of Ice and Fire (Game of Thrones, House of the Dragon as well as the five core books), Mortal Kombat (MK9, MKX and MK11), Red Dead Redemption (both games, and Undead Nightmare), Stranger Things and Marvel (MCU setting, but elements from the comics and characters not introduced as of Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3 are up for discussion).
As for my writing style, I prefer to write in the past tense from a third person point of view. I also highly value detail and descriptiveness, which often leads to two or more paragraphs for responses. But above all, I subscribe to the quality over quantity way of roleplaying. Seeing as it is a story being written at the end of the day.
Lastly, I'm big on plotting together and exchanging headcanons. So don't be afraid to share your ideas, that way we can collaborate! With that, feel free to reach out via Reddit Chat or DMs with any interest.

let’s chat i have nothing better to do !!
hey guys i’m looking for friends or just ppl to talk w right now i’m super bored.
anyways a little about me i’m really into music, psychology, art and philosophy. i spend a lot of thinking and day dreaming.
pls don’t message me anything weird/creepy thanks.

What the title says. Back in the day, my dad told me that it was usually advisable to download an antivirus because Defender was poor at doing its job. Over the years, as cybersecurity became a bigger and more well-known threat, it’s obviously since gotten more sophisticated. Am I able to rely on Defender alone for general use or should I get a free anti-malware program? If so, why?

Hi everyone, I'm your friendly neighborhood suicidal here. Well, I was, I had quite a lucky weekend and it led me to some insights that changed my life. All I want is for you to read this, maybe it will snowball for you like it did for me, and maybe in a week you’ll understand why I felt compelled to write this. You don't have to be open minded, as you read this post, you're probably going to think things similar to what I would have thought a week ago. Maybe "this person is crazy," "what worked for you won't work for me," "if this worked so well why isn't everyone doing it." That's all fair. Go ahead and type the problems you find into the comments, just do me a favor, and don't click back. You can even skip to the end if you’re inpatient with the speech, totally fair, I’m very long winded.
For background I've had CPTSD symptoms as long as I can remember. I have had suicidal thoughts daily, I've had attempts, I've done inpatient/outpatient programs, 5 different antidepressants, ADHD meds, DBT twice. I'm fully NC with my parents. And today I would deny it if you asked if I had a mental illness. Not because I'm in denial, not because I don't think I was living in literal fucking hell or because I think you aren't either. I probably could have and still could lose my job for my symptom related problems... I'm a RN but I'll be the first to tell you that I'm very skeptical of the way we treat mental illness in this world. I am not offering medical advice; I'm simply saying this because I've had experience as the patient and as the person handing you your Abilify in the hospital while you wait for inpatient beds in full blown crisis. Point is I fucking get it.
And by now you're maybe mad, I haven't gotten to the point. Where is this going? Is she selling a book? Ayahuasca? Where’s the scam here? Again, I see how sus this looks. What my goal here is to do is guide you to the insight you need to forge your own path. It isn't so much about the insight or how you get there. The point is that nobody ever gave me a clue to get there when the destination will seem as obvious as the sky being blue. It's so overwhelming. Articles, videos, doctors, etc. Promising the cure in 3 easy steps. And while I can suggest some of those things, I'll link at the end, I don't think they are the point. Cognitively we understand exactly what we need, we just don't know how to get it and the overwhelming number of unhelpful things makes it much easier to freeze up. The goal of this guide is to combat that. All I want you to do is read this one thing. No cure, no 6-week class or book to read.
I'll cut to the chase; the short answer is that CPTSD symptoms mean you're closer to feeling better than the people who made you this way will ever feel. Your body and mind know how to make you better, but we've been conditioned to ignore them and listen to the "experts." All of us here will agree that we have unprocessed trauma that needs to come out. We tried everything to process it but all we do is get further and further from processing it. We cope and feel ashamed that we are doing everything right and it doesn’t help. Doesn’t fill the void. I'm going to list how I got here and what I realized to do this. The is a beta test as it were. My goal is to create a "protector" proof way to begin healing, the beginning of a healing avalanche. It's not meant as medical advice, a cure, anything other than a summary of my weekend and the insights I've had. I just want you to read. I've included optional links, there is no right way to read this. I just want you to read what speaks to you and do what speaks to you. If that's going into the comments and saying that this is the dumbest shit you've ever read, I more than welcome that because you’re already a step ahead. You’re giving yourself permission to feel/say what you want to do. If I can just push one person in the right direction then I'm happy and if you hate this entire guide and think I'm the dumbest person ever, that's still a step in the right direction. As you read, I'm hoping it'll make sense.
The boring and short answer that helped me:
IFS, a book, music, and missing my meds. But that’s not helpful to anyone, and to isolate each of those items and say it was any one thing or that this is the cure would be a total lie. First of all, don’t just drop your meds. Second of all, IFS is expensive and hard to find a therapist and many sites warn against independent use in severe trauma. I think these items happened to be a catalyst for me, but they won’t necessarily be for you.
The Longer Story:
About 2 weeks ago I missed a dose of medication and heard a beautiful song on H3 Podcast. A small part of me was just so excited to feel. And it occurred to me that this woman couldn't have made such good music if she didn't feel. What was wrong with feeling? I began to ponder that. Still fully numbed to the world. You see, I spent the last 3 years in an avoidant Effexor haze/THC haze. I had been pondering my CPTSD for so long and I realized I could ponder it forever and ever, but I can't think myself whole. I have to feel it. But then I buried that part. How silly? I knew that part was there, and I knew I was burying it. Why was I doing that? But I started missing my meds more and more. I was opening up to the idea of feeling. I was flooded with suicidal thoughts, and I broke down and called Kaiser despite knowing how much kaiser has triggered me in the past. I needed something bigger and better than CBT/Coping/DBT/Pills. I would not allow them to stop me from feeling. I went off my meds (don't do that without consulting or reflecting first. I just knew it was a personal need and I was ready). And a snowball effect happened. Not because I am magic or stopped my meds. But because the cognitive part of me that knew I needed to feel to get better was trustworthy. A mess of signs in the world were occurring, and as a devoutly non-spiritual person it was clear. It had to be because I actually DO KNOW what's best, and I was choosing to see these things in the world because that part of me has always been there. Screaming for my attention but I wasn't listening. It turns out that I just needed to give myself permission to feel the bad things and that snowballed. But easier said than done. I can’t exactly pinpoint what did it for me, so below I’m going to list the items I used in tandem to warm myself up to healing. There are no right or wrong answers, but I think it would have been very very easy for anyone of these items to fail individually. It came down to a perfect storm for me, but one set off the other and they all worked as a collective. Importantly, there are many things I didn’t do.
What I didn’t do:
Stop “bad” habits: There is a reason I overeat, smoke ‘too much’ weed, oversleep, etc. An IFS model would say there are no bad parts. These things all are done with benevolent intentions. A part of you is putting out a fire. The second you set an intention to stop these habits, a part of you gets very uncomfortable. Honor these parts. You can die a carton-a-day smoker, but if you quit before that part is ready, I think it’s going to become much harder to feel whole. IFS is definitely a great model if you struggle with these things. I’ve now realized that traditional healthcare partially didn’t work because the parts of me are creative and stubborn. Alarm bells go off at the thought of being told they can’t do what they want.
Meditate/”self-care”/Mindfulness: Fuck those amiright? But seriously, after spending decades failing to feel anything positive from these things, I’ve learned it’s because people who don’t actually understand it do a terrible job of teaching this. It’s so isolating to hear that when it’s done nothing positive for you. I felt like such a failure. For me it turns out a part of me is terrified of emotions, sitting in “meditations” felt like torture, I would become so distracted and miserable. The idea of “watching thoughts go by and doing nothing” is less than ideal. It supports the misconception that there are bad or good thoughts or feelings. I’m a firm believer in looking at thoughts. Why am I thinking about hulk right now? What am I afraid will happen if I don’t think about hulk? Same goes for self-care. I think these things are methods we use to avoid feeling what being human feels like. Many of us will find we never felt what it’s like to be human. That’s okay, that part of you is in there.
Therapy: Every therapy session I’ve been to felt like I was just justifying my existence to someone else. If a therapist isn’t open to feeling, you will never get better. They probably don’t know even know they are afraid to feel also. The moment I said to myself “I am suicidal, I want to die. That’s okay. It means I need to fix something” instead of “Oh no I’m sick and I’ll never be happy and this feeling is wrong it means I’m bad.” Again, this all seems silly, its not something I can cognitively get into your head, it’s something you need to feel.
What I did do:
Feel: The simplest, biggest thing. Feeling is being human, for better or worse. I was lucky, I missed meds and found profoundly beautiful music that spoke to me. That may not be your life circumstance and it may not feel or be safe to feel yet. That’s okay. I had no agenda, I put on music I loved and got into my car and just listened to the music. As emotions came up, I just felt them. I KNOW THIS SOUNDS SMOOTHBRAINED! I’m very aware of that. But this is where the snowball happened for me the most. I think it’s important to find music that speaks to you, but my personal example was a little insane. I used to listen to a band called Beware of Darkness. In 2014 they had millions of fans and I hadn’t heard them probably since 2016 or so. When I decided it felt good to feel, even the most hurtful emotions, I knew this band meant a lot to me and the frontman had very profound lyrics and emotionally touching music. I put the band on and just drove, around the block, to the beach, to the carwash. I was feeling, the lyrics were saying everything I’ve been saying my whole life. I felt like if feeling all these things created this art, then feeling these things is fucking beautiful. And the lyrics are very dark, the writer admits to having been extremely depressed for most of his career. Anyway, this is when shit got weird. I had been listening to the music and feeling and reading on IFS, that all felt great. Things were falling into place. But guess what? I found out that this fucker released a book a couple months ago called “Thank God for Depression.” The odds? I don’t know, but the point is: many people will go their whole lives without feeling whole, but we have symptoms guiding us there, many people don’t. A part of you just wants to feel but you’ve been so conditioned not to that you don’t even know how. Deeper parts don’t know it’s okay.
Reading about IFS: I always read IFS was helpful, and I always knew of its existence. However, I never would have been able to really give IFS an authentic chance until I saw a glimmer of hope. I think IFS and music really fed each other into helping me. I also want to give credit to a redditor who posted his helpful website. Much of the information above came from that. The only reason I didn’t just post “why you should do IFS” is because if it were that simple I’d have been cured a long time ago. I strongly believe in IFS for many reasons, but the biggest was that it provided many of the “What I didn’t do” items. Giving up on the idea that I’m sick and need to do XYZ and then I’ll be all better was huge, learning simply that I’m not broken because being sober or skinny didn’t fix anything was also huge. Also, everyone swears their methodology is best and I don’t want to debate that. I think it’s more about the restrictions we subconsciously put on ourselves than anything else, and for me, the idea of jumping into a new therapy or reaching out was not helpful. I also have a tiny thing I don’t love about IFS. It’s easy to get caught up into doing it “right.” I found myself asking “am I blended,” “am I making stuff up,” or “am I even doing this right” too many times. I think if you’re open to hearing what your parts have to say and honoring that then you can get a lot accomplished.
New perspective: Essentially that’s this whole post. I stopped seeing my CPTSD as a bad thing that I have but a blessing telling me how to honor myself and my feelings. And it’s so stupid sounding, but once you get through to enough “parts” or open up enough, quell the doubts, etc, a switch will flip and you will be amazed. It also gave me a spiritual side I didn’t know could exist. I’ve had about the closest thing a person can have to an ayahuasca experience in my bedroom with my computer, spotify, and weed. Because it turned out that a part of me was just scared I would be “cringe” or “lame,” if I felt better. Part of me thought I would be sellout if I healed. Like I’d be less cool, it seems crazy now but it’s a very valid fear. But you know, the lead singer of the band from earlier? He’s happy now and his music has never been better.
And this is where we get spiritual and woo woo and many of you are welcome to skip. But before you do, just know I have always been such a skeptic I didn’t even believe in Santa as a 4-year-old and I never once believed in God. I always thought spiritualism = religion = the cause of so much suffering.
Ayahuasca: I haven’t done it. It’s come up many times in this post though. From a more clinical perspective, ayahuasca can help people access the parts in IFS. I have another post with great discussion in the comments, but I would guess using both Aya and IFS together would have like a 99.9% efficacy rate in CPTSD, however nobody is going to do that research in the states anytime soon. Aside from the whole War on Drugs part of things, I think it would be disrespectful to use this plant medicine without a Shaman who knows how to respect it. But there is a saying “Ayahuasca starts working the moment you answer her call.” And as you read the post, you can see she has been calling me very loudly. Whether or not you believe in that quote, you can’t deny the serious of fortunate events that led me here. 8 days ago someone discussed their experience with Aya on H3 Podcast and the host Ethan played this music that next day. I was tapering my meds and as I mentioned, it felt so good. And that lead to me listening to [Beware of Darkness]( Beware of Darkness). Who's lead singer wrote "Thank God for Depression". That author in the book? First page he is talking about Aya, the day I put on his music for the first time in years was after hearing that other music on a podcast, the very same podcast where a woman tells the host that Aya has helped her, the very day I missed my meds and first opened up to the idea that feelings are good. It’s turtles all the way down. Maybe you believe it’s more spiritual, but even on a more skeptical level, I made those connections because I knew what would help me. IFS would say it’s “Self Energy,” a Shaman might say it’s the divine, a Buddhist might say it’s enlightenment. But ultimately that’s the goal, whatever you call it. It’s the thing that fills the hole you don’t know how to fill.
Anyway, every second since I've "flipped this switch," "found self," etc I have another "aha" moment. The world makes more sense, the stars align, and I feel grateful for CPTSD. It's easy to tell myself I'm having a manic episode, it's only been a couple days, its the effexor withdrawal. I see how that would be the obvious answer to everyone. It would make sense. But on the other-side. From the perspective I've gained now, I have the hope and confidence to know that's not true. Because I've literally never felt whole until now. And I'm holding onto that wholeness. There is a lot of parts work I have to do, I'm seeing a shaman in a couple weeks, and there's still the economy/state of the world. But I have something to hold onto and just wanted to share it with anyone who wants that too. I want feedback, DMs, etc. I'm a baby in the world of being happy, so I'm not going to pretend I have anything together. But I have the thing and the thing is what matters.
Resources/things I've referenced:
HOLY GRAIL: LEVI you are a beautiful person and this webite imo is the holy grail. Shoutout to u/IntegralGuideAuthor
Thank God for Depression: $10 on amazon, I haven’t even finished it but it’s been a huge source of insights. But it might just have worked because the author is so special to me.
H3 Podcast Clip discussing Aya
Music Ethan played next Day: Very relatable music. “Someone smiled at me today and I cried because I realized I don’t like myself.”- Elizabeth Homes, very new artist and talented foot soldier.
Beware of Darkness: Kingdom will Come: I forced myself to pick one song. If you need music ideas that’s my bread and butter. But this one song says more than this whole post could for me.
REDDIT! All of you were on my mind. All the posts here remind me how I’m not alone in this.
Ayahuasca: DM if you want to talk about this, I haven’t done ayahuasca yet and it would be a bad idea to act like I have. However, if after all this you feel it’s YOUR personal next step, I tell you the information I've found to point you towards a retreat.

Girls: Izzy
Boys: Ezekiel, Mal
Episode 24: Hawaiian Style
A riff from an electric guitar opened the episode, the scene fading into a close-up of a spinning blue globe. As the camera moved up across Africa and Europe, the words 'TOTAL' and 'DRAMA' appeared in white block letters with a flash, moving up at an angle to make room for 'WORLD TOUR' in two additional rows of larger letters. One final word, 'AFTERMATH', appeared below it in a shower of stars, and as the theme music reached a tentative low the gleam from the words took over the whole screen.
XXX
Izzy, Sadie, Noah, and Mal grabbed a swan boat, and moments later, the boats splashed down into a river running through a hilly forest.
XXX
The music entered a low point as the title screen was shown again, the words flaring up once more to transition to the next clip.
XXX
Ezekiel Clone sniffed the air. He perked up and the camera cut briefly to the still berry-covered Owen washing up then back to him. The clone took the opportunity and launched himself at the fun guy and attacked him.
XXX
A few laughs were heard and the Aftermath theme renewed itself, the title screen flaring up for a third time.
XXX
Mal, Topher, and Sadie raced down the Wall as the camera panned down to show them moving faster. Sadie unknowingly skated towards the mine, causing her to be blown off the wall with a yell.
XXX
The title screen showed up for the final time.
XXX
Topher slipped on the puddle of oil, forcing him to land on his back while the cake splattered on the floor candle first.
The camera quickly panned rightward to the door at the side of the plane; it slammed open and countless animals ran out – a sasquatch, a bear, a horse, a seal, a duck, a bunch of rats and chipmunks, and Ezekiel Clone at the front of it.
The resulting explosion was shown from about a mile away, and the light completely enveloped the once-peaceful nighttime scene.
XXXXX
The Aftermath's title sequence played once more, earning another round of applause from the unseen audience as the episode began.
"Hello, everyone!" the voice of Josh spoke out, walking in to a close-up shot of what looked like the host's couch in an outdoor set. "Welcome, to Total Drama Aftermath! We are coming to you guys live from the beautiful tropical shores of Hawaii!" The camera zoomed out. As he'd said the main parts of the Aftermath set had been transplanted to a beautiful white-sand beach, a smoking volcano off in the background. Two-tiered couches had been set up on either side like usual, but unlike usual, both held members of the Peanut Gallery: the left had Brick, Courtney, Cody, and Heather on the top row, Lightning, Jo, Amy, and Rodney on the bottom; the right-hand couches had Lindsay, Sky, and Shawn on the top, Beth, Harold, Duncan, and Ella on the bottom. Luna and Ron were also seated next to Ella.
"After traveling all around the world this season," Josh continued, "we had to wrap it up with a big shot of paradise. And I'm not relaxing on this beach by myself. Let's give a big welcome to our Peanut Gallery!" The audience cheered, the camera cutting from one half of the gallery to the other as the former contestants there smiled and waved to varying degrees.
"We've two episodes left before we declare this season's million dollar winner!" Josh said enthusiastically. "And it's going to happen right here."
He paused for a few seconds for the applause to die down, then continued. "First things first, we have to say hello to a few people who were boot off the show. Please welcome," he motioned to the side, "Noah, Sadie, Owen, and Eva!"
The crowd cheered again as the four were shoved into view by an unseen intern. "Why are we all being introduced at the same time?" Sadie asked.
"We're doing things differently today," Josh answered.
"Tell me we don't have to sing," Eva said. "I'm tired of raising my voice."
"We'll get to that soon enough," Josh told him. "But first, I want to ask you guys something." He cleared his throat. "Are any of you wondering why I'm here today instead of Blaineley as usual?"
"To be honest, yes," Shawn answered. "You haven't been in the past aftermath episodes."
"Did Blaineley get her job back or what?" Duncan asked impatiently.
"She definitely did, but that's not why she's absent today," Josh said. "She's out sick today, so I'm here to fill in for her."
"I do hope she gets better soon," Ella said with sympathy as she nurtured Ron and Luna.
"So do I," Sadie agreed as she sat down next to Ella, who frowned harder at her. "Are you not going to talk to me?"
"We'll talk after this episode is done. As for now, don't bother me," Ella said sternly.
Sadie sighed miserably, and even when Luna and Ron glared at her, her expression didn't change.
"I deserved that," she mumbled to herself.
"Hey Josh, don't forget to talk about Dawn and how she's stuck in Siberia," Harold reminded the man.
"I was getting to that," Josh continued. "Last episode, Dawn was nursing a wounded bear in Siberia. Thankfully, the bear's all better now!" he said brightly before frowning. "Sadly, the airport officials wouldn't let her fly home since she only had Blaineley's passport."
"Me and Shawn rented a helicopter to locate and find Dawn," Jo told the host.
"Thanks for that," Josh said as a quick aside. "The wait is over!" he said brightly, pointing dramatically off into the distance.
The crowd cheered as a green helicopter was shown approaching high over the set. Dawn leaned out the side door and waved at the camera, then called out "Hello! I'm so happy to see all of you!"
The bear from Siberia poked its head out as well, and the crowd gasped. "Behind you!" Harold cried in warning.
Dawn looked at the bear, then back at the crowd. "Don't worry about Bruno!" She and the bear quickly ducked back into the helicopter as it descended. A ladder was thrown out, and Dawn used it to climb down and land on the sand.
"Are you ready to return to co-hosting?" Josh asked Dawn. "Blaineley's sick in bed, so I'm taking over for her."
"Okay," Dawn agreed and was going to shake hands with Josh, only for heavy plodding footsteps to herald a strong right hook at Josh from the bear, who had apparently landed on the beach without issue.
The audience and gallery gasped and shrieked in shock. "Bad Bruno!" Dawn scolded the bear. "We don't hurt people, remember?" The bear hung his head in shame.
"He's gotten possessive of me ever since I fixed his paw," Dawn explained as Josh rubbed his face. "But he's really sweet and protective... as long as no one gets within three feet of me."
"How are we supposed to host if that bear is in our way?" Josh asked.
"We'll figure something out, don't worry," Dawn told him. "But right now, let's get back to hosting."
"The Peanut Gallery will soon have a say in who's gonna get the million bucks," Josh said as the crowd clapped.
"That's good," Eva spoke up, the shot cut to the left half of the gallery and revealed that she was in the top row while Owen was at the top. "I have some things I'd like to say about the Final Three."
"Mal can't win the finale," Owen added. "He's the only evil player left!"
"That's if they can live long enough to compete," Shawn said with Noah in the top row. "How are they going to get out of Drumheller?"
"The number one cause of death in Drumheller is being stranded there!" Duncan claimed.
"Are we sure they'll be here for the finale?" Dawn asked her cohost.
"These guys are survivors," Josh said. "Look at Izzy. She's like a Total Drama cockroach."
"I thought that was Mal," Jo remarked.
"Maybe Izzy is Total Drama lichen," Shawn theorized. "The stuff that survives forever."
"My point is," Josh went on, "they'll find a way here one way or another, and it'll be exciting however it goes down!"
"So who does the Peanut Gallery think will win?" Dawn jovially asked the camera.
///\
[A stereotypically Hawaiian tune began to play as the camera zoomed in on the monitor set up over the hosts' couch, which was now showing an image of peanuts dancing on two sets of tiered couches with a question mark between them. The question mark enlarged as the lyrics began, transitioning the screen to something else.]
"Who you gonna root for? Who's it gonna be?"
[Dawn sang over an image of three slot machine windows amongst a field of question marks. The windows started on question marks as well, before they started spinning rapidly.]
"Is it Mal, Ezekiel, or will you pick Izzy?"
[As Dawn sang, the reels stopped from left to right as each contestant was called in turn, showing stock images of Mike, Ezekiel, and Izzy all smiling.]
"There's Izzy, she's the new girl, and she's been playing hard!"
[Dawn sang, appearing on screen and doing a hula dance wearing a grass skirt, a lei around her waist, and flowers in her hair. Behind her, the scene changed to black-and-white clips of Izzy, showing her diving into the water to swim to the flag in Sweden, then her talking to a lobster in Newfoundland.]
"But she is too bizarre! She'd have! To pay! A bodyguard!"
[Dawn added. The clips continued behind her, showing Izzy jumping from ice floe to ice floe in the Yukon, then finding her barrel of oil in Drumheller.]
"Who you gonna root for? Who's it gonna be?"
[Dawn dropped back out of the scene as another few short clips played: Mal fulling exposing himself in China, Ezekiel being knocked to the floor in Greece, and Izzy talking about game shows in Japan.]
"Is it Mal, Ezekiel, or will you pick Izzy?"
[Another trio of clips accompanied the next line, this time showing Mal smirking down while climbing the Statue of Liberty in New York, Ezekiel singing in the cargo hold in Egypt, and Izzy being stretched in London before the beat dropped.]
"Ricki-tick-ity, you're gonna hear it from me!"
[Harold popped up on the screen wearing a dark baggy sweatshirt and beanie over his normal attire, and a gold chain and sunglasses. The music became a smooth hip-hop beat as he rapped. The black-and-white montage naturally became Ezekiel specific: him watching his clone be created in Area 51, then him being thrown off the plane by Chris.]
"The only one winning this is our man, Zeke!"
[Both he and the montage continued: showing Ezekiel playing his harmonica in Australia, then climbing up to the condor in Rapa Nui.]
"Pimpin' like a king, sippin' lemonade in the shade!"
[The montage continued: showing him crossing the finish line with Ace in China, being stuck in quicksand in Africa, and pulling out the pieces of his gold bling in Germany.]
"Kickin' it Hawaiian style! Gonna take home the cheddar!"
[Harold stuck a flower in his hair as Ezekiel was shown almost admitting that he likes Sadie to Jo in Paris, then taping up the broken pieces of his bling in the Amazon.]
"We're gonna be all smiles!"
[He rapped over a clip of Sadie carrying Ezekiel across the tightrope in Niagara Falls.]
"Partay!"
[Harold said to the camera as the next clip consisted of Ezekiel and Sadie kissing.]
"Why does he get to sing?"
"He doesn't. Harold!"
[Ella, then Dawn were heard saying over a clip of Ezekiel thanking Ella for helping him in the Yukon.]
"Ricki-ticki-ticki-todelle, give it up for Ezekiel!"
[Harold rapped over clips of Ezekiel panicking over the plane turbulence in Jamaica and he and Sadie getting captured by the Ripper in London.]
"Harold's in the house spittin' rhymes that are viral, a-viral!"
[He rapped over a clip of Ezekiel holding on to the camel's butt in Egypt.]
"Give me the microphone! The song is over!"
[Dawn said as she snatched the microphone from the dweeb's hands, the montage was frozen on the camel scene.]
///
"Your rapping is good, but you can't hijack a song like that," Dawn scolded as the music ended and the shot cut back to the host couch, Harold walking back to his seat.
"Your singing voice is nice to hear though," Josh complimented.
"My father did say I have a gift!" Dawn said sweetly and shook his hand.
Bruno rose up from behind the couch, swiped down with his paw to separate the two, then smacked Josh all the way into the ocean.
The audience and gallery gasped in shock, and Dawn cried out "Josh!" in fear. She quickly turned a glare towards the bear, saying "Bruno! I told you, don't hurt innocent people!"
Bruno hung his head in shame under her glare, and he trudged over to the right half of the gallery. Most of the contestants that had been sitting there screamed and ran away, leaving only Beth paralyzed in fear in the bottom-left corner. Bruno took the seat behind her, and leaned over to sniff her.
"Maybe we can calm the bear down with something?" Sadie asked
"We can use kava tea," Shawn suggested as Bruno began to lick Beth's head. "Kava is a root the native Polynesians used to calm minds."
"Is it also an appetite suppressant?" Beth asked in terror as the bear continued to lick her.
"Before the Peanut Gallery hold up their flags to show who they're supporting," Dawn said as she resumed hosting and Josh rejoined her dripping wet, "let's see how our finalists stack up!"
She motioned back up to the widescreen as trading-card-like pictures of Mal, Ezekiel, and Izzy appeared on screen against a yellow starburst pattern, then rapidly spun around in a circle.
"Who has the best chance of taking home the cash?" Josh asked, smirking in anticipation before he and Dawn looked back at the camera. "Let's see who earned it the hard way, with some...!"
XXX
A bout of static cut the scene to an image of a white man in a full-body cast lying on a stretcher with his left arm in a sling. He was suddenly sent flying as an ambulance crashed into him, a deep voice announcing "Total Trauma!" over the blare of the siren, the shot pulling back to show Chef sitting on top of the ambulance in a male nurse's outfit.
XXX
"Ezekiel took a bit of a beating this season," Dawn began over a montage of clips showing Ezekiel getting knocked off the condor's nest by the mother condor then sucking his finger after touching an artificial in Area 51. "Most of it physical."
"He formed a relationship with Sadie and overcame most of his insensitivity," Josh continued over a clip of Sadie hugging Ezekiel in Paris. "But with Sadie out of the game," Sadie was shown catching her own parachute and Ezekiel was shown digging holes with Topher in Drumheller, "Ezekiel had to work with Topher."
"Ezekiel also has skills to fall back on," Dawn said, the montage cutting away briefly to show the moonchild nodding. The widescreen showed a stock photo of the young man. "Although he's the physically weakest of the finalists," the montage continued, showing Ezekiel getting covered in bandages in Egypt, "and ignorant about some things," the next clip was of Ezekiel believing Mal's lie in Jamaica, "he's easily the smartest of the Final Three," Dawn finished over a clip of him figuring out his team's saying in Newfoundland.
"All and all," Josh said as the camera cut back to the hosts, "I'd say he's got a chance. And he's definitely saner than our next competitor."
"Izzy also managed to avoid serious injury all season," Dawn said as the stock image of the psycho was shown. "What can we say? She's unstable," clips were shown of her falling into pudding in Niagara Falls, then hitting a pole and sliding down in New York.
The camera briefly returned to Josh as he said "Despite being new to the game, Izzy made a name for herself with his high IQ, friendships, and happiness." Halfway through the sentence the clips resumed, showing her taking charge in Sweden, forming Team E-Scope with Noah and Eva in London, and being dressed like a mummy in Egypt.
"Despite all we've mentioned, she isn't without her flaws," Dawn said. "Her attitude has gotten people annoyed with her on more than a few occasions," a clip was shown of her pressing buttons while Chef tried to stop her, "and she took this year's biggest makeover in Area 51." The clip reel changed to a long-distance shot of Area 51, and Dawn asked "Could we see that clip again?"
The feed cut to static, and Izzy was shown stepping out the chamber with her face looking like a clown.
"I remember that moment!" Cody said. "It took her all night to wash the makeup off."
"Even with her clown appearance, she's still more rational than Mal could ever be," Jo replied.
"Speaking of Mal," Dawn said, looking back up at the widescreen as it cut to another round of clips.
"No one really knew much about Mal when he first showed up," Josh continued as the clip of Mal's first appearance in the Yukon was shown, "but he quickly established himself as a ruthless competitor willing to do anything to make people suffer. Whether it's by throwing someone out of a plane," he was shown letting Owen fall from the plane, "throwing animals at someone," Mal was shown hurling a dingo at Cody, "or just being intimidating in general," he was shown threatening Ezekiel to be in first class, "Mal has been the vilest villain this whole game," the clips finished with Mal shoving Lindsay into a pole.
"Also," Dawn added as the shot cut back to the hosts, "raise your hand if he's the reason you're here now!" The camera cut around the Peanut Gallery, showing Duncan, Ella, Lindsay, Sadie, and Sky raising their hands on the right couch and Cody and Owen raising their hands on the left one.
"He's got all of the abilities of Mike's other personalities," Josh added over clips of Mal finding easter eggs in Rapa Nui, "and has avoided a few eliminations of his own," he finished over a clip of him surviving being eliminated in Africa.
"He's in the Final Three because of luck," Duncan scoffed.
"And if Topher didn't blow up the plane and get disqualified, he wouldn't even be there," Shawn added.
"Nothing seems to stop him," Josh claimed as the widescreen was shown in static, "even if he did get a swollen eye or get hoofed in the nuts." Clips of those instances happening in Rapa Nui and Greece played.
"But anyone can still win. It's too close to call," Dawn chimed. "Let's take a look at what could stop our finalists in their tracks." She motioned back up to the widescreen, which cut to another series of clips.
XXX
"Izzy's biggest weakness, aside from his insanity getting in the way, is her style of thinking," Josh said over a clip of Izzy going through the lasers in Paris.
"If she doesn't become fully aware of herself," Dawn added as clips of Izzy glowing from being inside a radioactive box in the Yukon were presented, "then she could wind up losing her pride and effectiveness."
XXX
"As for Mal," Dawn said as the clip montage moved to Mal talking to Topher in the Amazon and him giving away chowder in Newfoundland, "he is one of Mike's personalities, not the main one."
"If the final challenge triggers any of Mike's other alters," Josh added over Mal eating cake in China, "that could spell the end for Mal."
XXX
"And Ezekiel?" Dawn continued as the recap footage shifted to Ezekiel running with a panda in Japan. "I'd say his biggest weakness is his emotions."
"Agreed," Josh chimed in. "He's been working on his social skills," the montage continued on to show Ezekiel checking up on a tarred Topher in Drumheller. "But if he lets Sadie being eliminated get to him, he could very well do something drastic towards Mal," he finished over Ezekiel being faux complimented by Mal in Sweden.
XXX
"And here's where it gets interesting," Dawn continued as the static cut away back to her. "It's time for the Peanut Gallery to vote for their favorite finalists!"
\
The footage flashed ahead to a close-up of small flags bearing Izzy's face, the camera zooming out as the audience applauded to reveal them to be in the hands of Amy, Duncan, Eva, Lindsay, Noah, Owen, and Sky; they were now the only ex-contestants sitting on the left-side couches.
Cutting to the right-side couches revealed most of the rest of the cast sitting there holding Ezekiel flags: Beth, Brick, Cody, Courtney, Ella, Harold, Heather, Jo, Lightning, Luna, Rodney, Ron, Sadie, and Shawn.
"Figures nobody's a Mal fan," Duncan smiled, hurling all the Mal flags away.
"I don't see how Ezekiel can beat Izzy," Eva admitted. "He'd lose immediately in a fight against me while Izzy can fend me off for thirty seconds."
"But Ezekiel's the only finalist that hasn't gotten arrested or did something questionable," Shawn replied. "That has to count for something!"
The camera cut to Bruno as he walked up towards a nervous Beth with a red checkered bib around his neck. "Uh, is the tea ready yet?" she asked before Bruno roared.
The black male intern promptly arrived with a tea kettle and cup on a tray. "I'll take care of it," Shawn volunteered, grabbing the kettle off the tray. "I have some experience dealing with bears last season, especially hungry ones." He cleared his throat, then turned to face Bruno.
The bear roared again, but rather than flee, Shawn just shoved the kettle into his mouth, which immediately closed around the spout. Bruno blinked in confusion, then began to drink; he finished after a few seconds, took the kettle out of his mouth, and yawned contentedly.
"I still don't know how blessed I am to have you as my boyfriend," Jo said.
"After 44 days of traveling, Bruno can use some rest," Dawn talked to Josh.
"And he got it," Josh said, only to be interrupted by a roaring Bruno once again. The bear promptly fell asleep and dropped over onto Josh, pinning him to the ground as the audience gasped.
"Josh!" Dawn shrieked before noticing the camera still on her. "Err, coming up next, a few lucky members of the Peanut Gallery will face-off in an exciting surf challenge," she said quickly, "for a chance to win an advantage for their favorite finalist!" She nervously looked down at Josh.
"All that and more," Josh said, muffled by Bruno's sleeping head, "when we return on Total! Drama! Aftermath!"
"Can someone assist me here?!" Dawn asked as she tried to push Bruno off Josh herself and the audience applauded.
The show's title screen was shown again, the flaring letters leading in to the break.
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(Commercial Break)
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Might not be the right forum but I am looking to still retire early while doing this.
Long story short I will be taking over the mortgage on my parents home since my dad passed. Me and the wife will be living with mom. House mortgage left is 250k. moms will be staying rent free, only thing she asks is to give my sis and bro each 100k once she passes (home has equity). I will be paying the mortgage and putting away about 500 to 1,000 for when the day comes to give my siblings 200k
What would be the best way to store the 500 to 1,000 a month. I don't want to refinance the house when the time comes to pull out the 200k I want to have the 200k so I don't have to pay interests. Any advice is welcomed thanks in advance
P.S I've tried telling moms to refinance now and she can enjoy all the equity but she does not want to...not even the 200k 1