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First trip (1 gram GT)

2023.03.22 16:10 CodexReader First trip (1 gram GT)

A batch of the “Golden Teacher” strain of magic mushrooms made its way into my life. To ease my nervousness about the whole ordeal, I figured I would start small by eating only a half of a gram. I knew this amount wouldn’t lead to much of a trip but might be a little fun and could at least acquaint me with the anxiety and nausea I’d heard about. Those potential side effects made me want to take baby steps. Now that I’d chosen my dose, I just needed to select a time to partake.
One afternoon, when the sun was coming out after a rainstorm, I took a half-gram cap and asked my partner to walk with me along a nature path by my neighborhood. My intention was to let the mushroom take effect as I enjoyed the outdoors. Meditative walks can be difficult, especially when thoughts about work distract me from the scenery or when imaginary arguments drown out the singing cardinals. Fortunately, the half-gram cap—about thirty minutes after I had eaten it—amplified my surroundings. It was like I had no choice but to meditate. The option to think about other life circumstances was still available to me, but the Golden Teacher made meditation my default state of mind.
The puddles and rivulets left by the rain were something to behold, each of them unique and proud to show off their form. The birds’ chirping was discernible on a more emotional level, like I had some inkling of each animal’s goal for the day. When we walked past a parking lot, I didn’t appreciate the cars that were so out-of-place near the living trees and flowers; manmade machines were obviously an encroachment. We passed some geese as they waddled from one pond to another, and I stopped to admire their majesty when normally I would’ve hurried along to avoid getting hissed at.
This was going so well that I decided to take more. We went back to my apartment so I could eat another half gram, which was the bruised stem I had detached from the cap an hour earlier. I ate it, then grabbed headphones, my phone, and told my partner that I would continue the walk alone and take in my surroundings with some occasional music.
Thirty minutes after that, while walking along the same path, a wave of anxiety hit me, and I made an about-face to head back to the apartment in case it got worse. As I was walking, I took a moment to tell myself that I was on drugs and wouldn’t feel this way forever, which made the anxiety vanish immediately. I was back in a good place, finally about to enjoy this full gram within me, which I had read was enough to provide a low-intensity, beginner-level trip. So I turned back around and headed down the nature path again.
The rest of the walk was more of the same presence of mind I had felt earlier, but with greater intensification of colors. I became grateful the moon was already in the sky while the sun was still out, and a yellow bush in my peripheral demanded my attention. I put on my headphones to listen to some music, and a song’s chord changes aligned with a sequence of homes I walked by until my attention arrived back at the forest. As the sunlight started to fade, Nils Frahm’s Wintermusik turned out to be an ideal soundtrack for dusk.
By the time I returned home, I thought I had finished peaking. But my apartment’s interior proved me wrong. Now that I was no longer watching birds over windswept lakes, I could truly see the visual effects of the shrooms. Inside my place, there was enough environmental stillness to observe the artificial movement the shrooms were providing.
The blankets on my couch were breathing while the patterns on my pillows were spinning and relating to one another. While absorbing all this geometry, I played Pink Floyd at a deafening level and found myself alternating each eye open and shut. This change in my vision, coupled with my air-drumming and air-keyboard skills, synced with the music so well that I felt waves of euphoria. “Finally,” I thought to myself, “I’ve joined the club!” The evening was topped off with the song Underwater by Windows 96, during which I imagined the birds outside dancing to the beat. My partner was in a Zoom meeting in the other room while I cackled loudly on the couch.
Everything I described above is from an amount that is considered the low end of a moderate dose, so I am unsure when I’ll be ready for a high dose, let alone the famed “heroic” dose. But I’m in no hurry. Long after the psychedelic effects wore off, I felt rejuvenated in a way that basically felt like the opposite of depression, as if the shrooms had boosted my neural hardware during the trip and left me with some residual enthusiasm from then onward. And I no longer fell so easily into the cognitive ruts in which I had previously found myself.
submitted by CodexReader to shrooms [link] [comments]

2023.03.22 16:09 kommsussertod1 The future of the KarJen

So I was curious how they’ll be doing 10 years from now.
My theory for 2032
Kim - she’ll have a surgery in 2-3 years that will leave her so botched, even she sees how unfixable and bad it is. No more paid paps or daily selfies, she‘ll post a few in a year that are ultra shopped and we‘ll only see the true horror of her face at events when getty comes through with the real deal. She will still post her kids, especially poor Chi. No more North, she will cut ties off with her to live a private life with Kanye.
Khole - will have 1 more kid by Trashcan and another one by a new guy. The cheating story gets so used by Kris, the public gets aware that it was all stories fabricated to make them get more publicity. I personally don’t believe Khole is still in love with him as of now, she knows he ain’t shit but he’s the only thing that keeps her currently famous. And he gets paid for it so there’s no way he’d leave by himself. She‘ll calm down with the surgeries and try a career as author for boring, „how to live happy“ books.
Kourtney - will have a huge lawsuit incoming soon because of Lemme & people reporting health issues and will have a kid with Travis. Story breaks out he cheated multiple times on her, she forgives once but the second time she divorces him. She gets back together with Kris because she’s broke now and they try to milk her cheating story for maximum cash grab. She also writes 2 unsuccessful books about her marriage and life.
Kris - she will be 77 in 10 years and due to health issues, won’t be able to manage their kids life’s as much as before which will explain their even more obvious & worse downfall. Plus her criminal history of money laundering etc. will be talked about more so she becomes private, we‘ll rarely hear from her.
Kendall - will have a kid with a basketball player, becomes as botched as the others and the most hated because her vile personality will finally be revealed with a huge scandal, it’ll make Hailey look like an angel. She will also be in rehab for alcohol addiction, the family tries to hide it but gossip pages & paps will expose her.
Kylie - now this might be the most interesting one. Her depression worsens which will led to her trying psychedelics and having a near death experience, that opens her eyes more than any eyelid surgery could. She realizes how vapid her life is; surgeries, pain killers dependency, sexual selfies and no real friends. We won’t hear from her for a year and she comes back, dissolved all her fillers, vegan and minimalist. Her come back post will be her most liked one and after that, she goes back to irrelevancy again but she doesn’t care about fame anymore. Also she will have 2 kids by a different guy. Ooor, she will go the same exact path as Kim and nothing changes.
Let me hear your theories besties 👀
submitted by kommsussertod1 to KUWTKsnark [link] [comments]

2023.03.22 16:08 JulianSkies The Werewolf - Ch. 7 "Return"

CW: Light gore.
Yep, it's going to start a little bit bloody given how last chapter ended. I'm not u/Bushbacon69 though, i'm absolutely and utterly crap at writing proper violence even if I like a good fight scene, so it shouldn't be too distressing (but if you're into just the most wonderfully described gore go check his Sillis Shenanigans fic).
This wondeful setting is u/SpacePaladin15's creation, and also as a side note I also called it beyond measure but hey, that's just injecting some realism in the setting yes?
Memory Transcript: Douglas Parker, Firefighter
He’d expected a lot at this point. When he gave Kerim the command to go, he expected someone would die.
He did not expect the practiced grace of his friend. In the span of time it took for the arxur commander to pull the rifle, his friend managed to close the considerable distance in a single leap. The venlil seemingly materialized two black knives with serrated edges out of nowhere, hidden somewhere he couldn’t even imagine existed. The friend he knew kept secrets drove them in the bastard’s neck while still midair and with the momentum of the movement nearly completely beheaded the man there and then.
He did not expect the bloody spectacle that followed. As if possessed by a beast Kerim perched on the shoulders of the still falling body, moving with an alacrity unnatural drives a knife into a shoulder and completely removes the arm with a single move, and repeats it with the other. The beast rolls forward, and in a single movement before hitting the ground strikes both legs with such force to shatter the bones and as he lands on his feet he turns for one final piece of brutality, bringing both blades down on the body’s stomach, tearing it open.
What remained of the gruesome display finally fell over, unrecognizable as once having been a person of any form.
And his friend remained there, protectively, between Shenzu and the other three, knives held backhand, body slouched forward, a low rumble out of his throat as if he was an arxur himself. He couldn’t just stand here, so he ran.
The sound of metal clattering on the ground comes first, and his friend reels as if he’d been punched in the gut “Don’t come closer!” but this time, he does not heed the call. He closes the distance and wraps his friend with his arms, holding him tightly.
At this point he already knew his friend was far heavier than his size indicated, but he wasn’t ready for him to completely lose his capacity to stand. Undaunted, he lowers gently, the two now kneeling, held in an awkward embrace.
“You’ve saved a life today” he gently brushed his hand on his friend’s head, who screamed more than cried “You’ve saved more than one, even. So don’t worry, you did good…” Kerim’s screams were of sadness and frustration both.
Off the side of his peripheral vision, he saw Shenzu picking up the pieces of the body, and going somewhere with ashin in tow. He filed it for later, for now, there was something far more important.
“I…” his friend was in distress “I should tell you…”
He holds him tighter “If it’ll hurt you, then I don’t want to know”
“You… You deserve to know…”
“Not at your expense”
“Why?” his friend is looking up at him, a mannerism that seems so awkward “I trust you. So why can’t I… Say this?”
He gently caresses his friend’s head, tightening his hold with his other arm “Because… Then you will hear it too”
“Then… Then…” his friend squeezes him tighter, as if afraid “I’ll… I’ll tell you a lie. Because you deserve to know something, anything…”
“I’ll listen” he offers his friend a smile “But only what you’re willing to say”
Kerim flinches at that phrase, but he closes his eyes in focus “The Dominion doesn’t keep slaves only for food… They keep them for other reasons… I was… A gladiator” he’d turned to using english again. He always did that when he wanted his meaning to be precise.
“And you hated it, hated what you needed to do to live” he knew it was a lie, but it was probably the only way he’d manage to turn the truth to words at this time “And hated what you needed to do to save someone”
“You were a hero, Kerim, my friend. So, just focus on that” much readier for his weight, Douglas extricates one of his arms from his friend to change position, picking him up “Let’s head home, okay? We’ll watch a silly movie, and you’ll take a bath, and I’ll listen to you, even if you have nothing to say. How’s that sound?”
“I’d… I’d like that…”
Memory Transcript: Hashin, Zurilian First Response Fleet doctor
Even to a trained doctor like her, even to someone who had the pride in their composure she had, even to someone who’d seen the aftermath of multiple arxur raids, that sight was still sickening.
The body that was left behind was the very image of a raid, the chewed upon remains of what was once a person. But what really broke her composure was who had perpetrated this savagery. And how, at this moment, he seemed like an entirely different person from the moment of the attack.
She never would have considered Kerim to have Predator’s Disease, and even know… She didn’t think that was it. Not watching his desperate cries. Cries not unlike those of many a soldier who had survived a raid, here he was the aggressor, yet to her ears he sounded as a victim.
“Leave them” Shenzu’s voice snapped her out of her analysis. The woman was… Gathering the remains of her former commander.
“What are you doing with that?” she couldn’t keep the tremor out of her voice
“Me, I’d rather let it rot in the sun…” the arxur looks at the man who had just saved her life “But someone like him… He’d give even this piece of crap a proper burial, so…” she starts carrying the remains off, staining her scales in blood.
Hashin did not know what possessed her to follow. Maybe it was curiosity, maybe she just felt the need to aid. But follow she did. Off from the remains of the city, into the wilderness of the woods.
At first Hashin couldn’t identify where they were going, the faint beams of moonlight crossing the canopy soon enough became familiar. Oak trees were native to this region, but more importantly, this was a known path to where the specific trees whose bark had been harvested for food were, she’d been with the foragers a few times. They were particularly large specimens that had formed a grove in this area.
Shenzu unceremoniously drops the body parts in front of one of the trees, the next one to be harvested if Hashin’s memory was correct. “Time for you to give back some of what you’ve stole” the arxur says, before starting to dig with her bare claws.
“I… Didn’t know the arxur had burial rites”
“The Dominion” the reply is terse, angry “Does not. Bodies are left to rot where they lie in battle, or discarded as needed. Rare for someone to die outside of battle, though.”
That… The translator had to have some weirdness to it. She spoke as if she wasn’t part of the Arxur Dominion. But here she was, doing something that was very much a burial, against her will and for the wellbeing of another “I don’t get it…”
We on the other hand” it’s visible in the intensity of her she digs the anger audible in her words “Bury our dead under the crop fields” What? Crop fields? “That we might return what we’ve been given”
It was a shallow grave at the foot of the tree “We take only what is freely given” she tosses a body part unceremoniously in “And at the end it is returned” she tosses in another “But this thief took what was not his to take” she tosses the entire rest of the body in “So you know what? I’m actually happy I’m doing this. He’d be livid” she starts tossing the dirt back in.
Hashin can only watch in… She should be disgusted. But what she feels is… Awe. There is much she was missing here, but… The implication of what she had said, calling him a thief… No, no that is too much to consider right now.
Shocked as she was, she did not realize until it was too late that Shenzu made to pick her up, unceremoniously putting her on her shoulder “Who knew that what’d shock you was, of all things, a burial doctor”
“I…” to hell with it, everything that happened was already impossible enough as it was. At this point she shouldn’t be surprised she wasn’t afraid of being where she was “Yeah… Who knew”
Memory Transcript: Shenzu, Arl’ashem Infiltrator
The return to the rescue city was silent, just like how she liked it. She wondered what had actually shocked the doctor, was it the unexpected warrior? Was it her own traditions?
She shouldn’t be surprised. Everyone with the duty to lead in this universe seemed intent on forgetting its complexities, but they could never erase them. For a moment she wonders if she could lead someone only to quickly dismiss the thought, that was not an amount of energy she had.
She lets the doctor down once they’re in the city proper, it’d be awkward to take her all the way back to her room like this in the middle of the night, even if she’d rather do that. Making her way to her room she considers how could she even get some rest, her heart was at its limit as it was, maybe it’d be the floor today. Cold and uncomfortable, harsh like the universe.
“There you are”
Douglas was waiting for her right in front of her room. Nobody likes being ambushed by a superior, it’s always a bad sign “How is he?”
“Passed out” he sounded as exhausted as she was sure he was “Took him back, helped him groom some… He just… Cried to sleep”
After she had figured what he was, it was difficult for her to conceive of the venlil crying to sleep. They were trained to deal with much worse. Then again, what right had she to judge, she had fought with all she had to avoid those duties herself. “I see…”
“You know you’re also at fault here, yes?” he didn’t seem to have admonishment in his voice, but his words said otherwise.
She could only look away “I made a bad decision by overestimating my capacity, I misjudged my opponent’s ability and acted alone when I should have worked with my unit” she wasn’t blind to her failures “As a result-”
“I managed to get a call in with someone in charge of managing Isif’s forces here” she chokes on her breath, turning to face him “Had to report the death. The… Thing on the other side, the things he said” she could imagine “He was lucky it was a call and not live. ‘They’re all dead for all I care, they’re your problem now’, who treats their subordinates like that…” so that’s how it was.
“It’s expected” given what she’d seen of the others here “You realize nobody here was a shining example of a Dominion soldier, right?” his quizzical look indicated he did not.
“Look at us. Those engineers are all bark and no bite, as you’d say, cowards who were quick to turn on their commander for some food scraps. The soldiers are more afraid of you than any of you could be afraid of them, hell the little one in the kitchen has effectively fled from us, hiding among cooks. Not to mention a commander that couldn’t follow orders nor see an entire fusion drive being stolen from his ship” she sighs “Command isn’t as stupid as think your people wouldn’t hate us, you know? They sent us here to die, because we weren’t even good enough to be plasma fodder”
She shrugs “It was this or a reconditioning camp for them. Most of them aren’t even actually old enough to have their first battle”
Douglas sighs, an expression that had become routine for him at this point “I guess this circles back to your punishment for your part in this mess” How was this related? “I’m not going to do anything to them, I don’t know how you all work, if anything i’d mess this up worse” he puts a hand on her shoulder, this was an usual human form of assurance she knew, but it didn’t match in this context “So it’s you now. You’re in charge of them. You made this mess, you clean it up. And also you’re the only one I trust to have their head on straight and know how to handle them.
So that’s why he was reassuring her. Because he was going to do this to her. “I think there’s a human expression that fits here”
“Which is?”
“Fuck you”
Douglas laughs “That’s the right one”
submitted by JulianSkies to NatureofPredators [link] [comments]

2023.03.22 16:06 siyans What to do with myself personally and professionally?

Im nearing 40 yo, I dont have any relevant diploma (I did only a vocational college 10 years ago), I have ADHD, maybe neuro divergent (doubt on autism), I have some form of dyslexia (reading long text) and strong personality trait (against authority-ish and un-logical rules.)
I have tried to go back to school 3 times now, and I can't seem to be able to adapt and adjust, my "super" logical and ADHD brain can't seem to deal with pointless class that feel pretty pointless and waste of time (like learning linear algebra to go in computer science), I have also a hard time to even read long and tedious text that doesnt tell anything, also, being sit and listening long hours to broad or "abstract" information is very not helpful to my understanding. I feel like doing a lot of the class feel utterly hard and doesnt provide me any kind of real knowledge important to even go forward.
Academia problem:
Without going to much into details, its basically I just dont get this idea, I have tons of personal experience with teaching and extremely strong skill with vulgarization but university tells me they can only give about 10 credits towards a BA, why the hell do I still need to spend 2 years and so just to "PROVE" to you that I know how to do something, and the worst I dont see how doing classes like "pedagogy" is really necessary, just to prove.... this is stupid and ridiculous, waste of time just for bureaucracy that means literally NOTHING
Well, I did several unfun jobs, I had a very well paid (10 years ago), it was in a factory style job, and it killed my ADHD brain, without any kind of stimulation I had severe mental health issues and left, now today after trying and trying, I just dont know where to go, no job without a diploma is fun or stimulating, nothing feel really worth the hassle to even try to be able to work at slightly higher demanding job for the extra 5$/h I may get. No matter what, if I dont look at the highest salary a company give, which one of them is the job I did back then, the higher is about 26$/h or so, maybe 30$ in 2 years, but those job can be extremely demanding or you are just doing customer service on the phone or similar. I am not at all interested of doing customer service on phone, im way too adhd to be focusing that much
ADHD in general:
the older I get the harder it gets, I feel like since COVID lock down, I have so much more a hard time to manage stimulation, its hard to not get bored very quickly and gloom down to burnout and depression. Not having sufficient stimulation doesn't help having a good balance in the day after day balance, always in search of that next exciting thing to discover but have no ability to find new things to discover much, stuck in a loop of some kind, mainly because money. In the past 10 years I never had much, always had to sacrifice on this "discovery", because, well, thing cost money. I would like to be able to go to the theatre, watch a play, or go to a concert or orchestra to listen, just have the ability to be "free" and not be, well, this week I need to eat more rice because I spent a bit too much on one restaurant...
Professional Help:
Well, I have tried all kind of people in the medical and social help, at this points, no one seem to be understanding and "good" enough to help, I always seem to be in requirement of help bigger or too convoluted for them since its hard for me to express my need or what could helps. Because after all its all boils down to a few problem, blockage from ADHD and personal trait that seek the "utopia" and constant search of stimulation and stimulation that more and more ask more and more money, like travelling or doing constant activities so I can go out and "feel"
So I guess IM wondering what I can do, or where to look for "help", because without a diploma and the ability to even start school, Im not sure what I am supposed to do and I dont want to be stuck with "nothing" for the next 25-30 years
submitted by siyans to Healthygamergg [link] [comments]

2023.03.22 16:06 Fit_Lengthiness_7731 So confused after 1st date

So we met over the weekend (he works as a waiter in a restaurant) when I gave him my number and we had our first date yesterday. I’m M24 and he is M22.
All over the weekend, we were texting back and forth. Was going really well.
Here comes the date. He asked loads of questions, we spent hours with each other chatting away before we realised the time and that he had to get to work. Throughout the date there was lots of ‘little moments’. Stuff like where he had something stuck in his boot (we were walking through the forest) so I held his hand to keep him upright. A few moments where I nearly slipped and he held me up. Or like when I showed him a particular ring I wear and he put it back on my finger for me. Nothing massive but definitely a few of those ‘spark’ moments when you touch. At the end, there was no generic ‘we should do this again sometime’ before leaving, but rather we stayed around our cars chatting. We brainstormed ideas of what we could do next, and he said he wanted to arrange the next one (as I arranged the first) and was asking me questions like “do you like Turkish food” so was definitely thinking about where we could go. We even settled on what day we could both do, and said we would to head into London for that evening. He was telling me how he is at a family wedding this Weds-Fri and was talking all about the family drama etc. He then put his hand on my shoulder and said “you might meet them one day and you’ll understand what I’m talking about!”. We ended with a really close hug before we went separate ways. Great vibes, great guy, flirty, neither of us were inappropriate with the other etc, and we had the next date planned. Overall - green flags all round.
He then texted me after the date saying “thanks for today, was nice x”. I replied saying similar and saying hope his shift wasn’t too bad….no response.
Then today sent him a message saying what time I finish work for our next planned date and ended with a funny comment about the wedding he is at. Again no response.
He has been online so must have seen the messages. But I just don’t understand how it can go from being so great to no contact at all. Granted he may have had a busy shift at work and might be super busy with the wedding or have no signal etc. But to go from all this contact even over the weekend when he was working, to having a great date, and now to nothing….
It’s been 24 hours now since I last heard from him…am I being ghosted? Or is it too soon to tell? Once I know the wedding is over and he’s back, do I say anything? Leave it?
Throughout the date he was saying about how he recently went on holiday by himself and met loads of people and how valuable it is getting to meet and know people. And his last relationship was over 3 years. So I’m just super super confused what’s going on. If he has changed his mind I wish he would just tell me. But then I can’t see how ghosting fits his MO given how sociable he is and how much he cares about meeting other people.
I dunno - but any advice would be much appreciated as I’m going out of my mind here!!
submitted by Fit_Lengthiness_7731 to dating_advice [link] [comments]

2023.03.22 16:05 krat051119 Probability for Traffic Newark to NY

Is it realistic that I can get unloaded from my plane (no checked baggage) @ 1pm. Check into my hotel near by (10 min from airport) and then take a Uber or Lyft from Newark airport area to Battery Park, NY by 3pm? Is there usually good bit of traffic during this time that I’m not accounting for?
I’m wanting to get to Battery Park for the Statue of Liberty ferry by 3pm. I could leave from the New Jersey State park side (which would probably be easier) but I thought going into NY would give me more opportunity to see more. (Also wanting to check out ground zero after returning from ferry)
Thanks for the help!
submitted by krat051119 to Newark [link] [comments]

2023.03.22 16:04 uncohmat Spotify Liked Songs equivalent?

My disdain for Spotify's recent update has me trying out Apple Music again. I used to be an Apple Music user and was a fan previously but now that I am used to Spotify, Apple Music's library management is throwing me off. Let me explain my habits a bit:
With this in mind, Apple Music throws me off because:
My current solution for this is a self-made "Liked Songs" playlist that I just manually update, but this isn't nearly as convenient as the like feature on Spotify. Am I missing something or would my habits need to change in order to effectively use Apple Music?
submitted by uncohmat to AppleMusic [link] [comments]

2023.03.22 16:04 ZiuWolfcaller Need advice on seeking medical attention as a foreigner

Hi! So basically, I'm 30 and visiting Japan for a week and a half with my wife as my birthday celebration. However, on the plane ride over here, I experienced a very uncomfortable and nearly constant feeling of pressure in my chest for pretty much the whole 14 hour plane ride. I am pretty sure it's a cardiac-related pain / discomfort because I also feel it when I drink caffeine (as of the past two weeks) - I think the air pressure difference in the plane might have agitated it but I don't know and it is unfortunately undiagnosed.
I'm only in Japan for about 10 days, but I'm honestly a little scared of the ride home if I have to suffer through feeling like my chest is being stepped on for another 14 hours. Or potentially worse.
I got travel insurance from heymondo, though I'm not sure what I need or how much of it would fall under policy. Moreover, I have no idea how to find medical help for this before my trip back to the US, and I only speak the smallest amount of broken Japanese. I would really like a cardiologist to listen to my symptoms, check me out and clear me to fly / give me medication or whatever else they think I need. Preferably before my expensive non -refundable flight home but I can give that up if it means not dying.
submitted by ZiuWolfcaller to JapanTravel [link] [comments]

2023.03.22 16:02 Hungry-rabbit612 36 [M4F] young professional carmel big daddy looking for to meet fill your interracial needs

Hi everyone
I'm young professional working in tech sector , I live in the suburbs of the twin cities I'm doing very well for myself just things are pit boring my flexible schedule allow me to work hard play how whenever I want to , live is good to say the least lately there some itch i can't scratch seeking a consistent female who lives near by and have free
Can't wait to hear from you soon
submitted by Hungry-rabbit612 to r4rmidwest [link] [comments]

2023.03.22 16:01 minus2proficiency The Rose.

Deep, Deep, it grows in the desserts cold,
Struggling for air, rebelling from what it is told,
There she digs her roots most deep,
Strength be found in that pale cold sand.

Young in leaf and new in petal,
Soon her time to bloom be near,
That first buds open and red will spill,
Plucked by tradition on that pale cold sand.

Among the field of poppies deep of red,
This single rose defiant it stands,
A call erupts from a land most distant,
Yearning for it to leave that pale cold sand.

Its mother plant no longer red as she,
Bleached petals and soft rooted vines,
Hurt by the endless unforgiving sun,
Turned her back on that pale cold sand.

Yet her daughter rose she never did forget,
A home she seeks, and a soft cared for bed,
In a lavender sea this mother rose came to life,
Still her heart reached to that pale cold sand.

Here she has planted her soft, delicate roots,
Deep within thine own garden most green,
Caring not for the rocks and clay that split my lands,
A home will grow for her in that pale cold sand.

Nutrition she feeds upon my grass and moss,
Stronger the rose mother becomes now,
Her fragrance no longer just for my garden alone,
Lifeless it becomes much as that pale cold sand.

The mother rose turns her petals from me,
Thorns she grows that stick into my green paths,
No stream flows out of my sorrowed pools,
Joy is not here, devoid as that pale cold sand.

Her roots she takes, ripping, shredding my still green field,
Nothing left to take, this verdant land now brown and bland,
A home alone she wishes to make near the endless of blue,
Now it is I whom feels as that pale cold sand.

Alone I sit and gaze as she flees, far away from me,
Her thorn forever pressed deep within my heart,
My home leaves behind her, within her feet and smile,
Will I ever see my daughter from that pale cold sand.

My putrid green vines stretch as far as they can,
Upon the golden light of day they run back to me,
As my garden rots, my flowers wilt I realise,
I am trapped here within my own pale cold sand.
submitted by minus2proficiency to poetry_critics [link] [comments]

2023.03.22 16:00 JP7PlaysMC Question regarding uploading LoRs

Hello fellow Medical Students and Graduates alike.
I'm currently trying to land an elective through USMLE Sarthi so I can get some USCE to strenghten my application further down the line. I'm still a student myself and I'm having some doubts about how to proceed with an eventual LoR, do I just have to upload it myself when I enter a new Match Cycle? Even then, don't I need an ERAS token to be able to provide a Letter Request Form to the attending who'd take me?
It just seems silly to be paying for one when I have no intentions of applying in the near future, seen as I still have to take the Step exams. Any help is much appreciated!
submitted by JP7PlaysMC to IMGreddit [link] [comments]

2023.03.22 15:59 DuplexEagle What do I do when I lose a huge portion of my footage?

I'm so annoyed about this. I've been playing through Metroid Prime Remastered, and over 10 hours into the game, my most recent video which is an hour long is just a blank black screen and doesn't even have any audio either. I'm a no-commentary gameplay channel where I play through an entire game with no editing. The video's are mostly for myself so I can look back at my own personal game playthrough's of the past. But I upload them online so that people who like that style of video can watch it. Still, there's no reason the capture card should be doing this since I changed absolutely no settings in OBS.
Sorry for the salt, I don't mean this to come off as a rant, I'm just explaining what happened in the hopes I can get some advice. The reason I feel so upset about this is because I already had a similar issue nearly ruin the playthrough for me much earlier in the game. My unpause recording button is CTRL+9, and there's a feature in OBS studio; not sure if it was only recently added or if I only just noticed it, but if you press the 9 key (which is also the PgUp (page up) key), while you have a source highlighted, OBS Studio will automatically switch to the source at the top of the list. In my case, the source was something other than the source for my capture card. At one point I paused the recording to go make my dinner. When I came back to the game eventually, I hit CTRL+9 to unpause it and played for another hour and twenty minutes. Little did I know at the time that by pressing the 9 key, I just caused OBS to switch to a black screen. When I realised this, I was devastated. I was over 3 hours into the game. This isn't just any old game playthrough for me, I absolutely love the Metroid series, and they are the type of game where once you've played it once, it will never be the same again. The closest I can get to re-experiencing a game I dearly love is by watching myself do so in a video. So this isn't so much devastating that I can't upload it to the internet as it is that I no longer have a way of re-experiencing one of my favourite games for the first time ever again. I fixed the source switching issue by making the capture card source always be at the top of the list.
This is my first time playing a Metroid game in the Prime trilogy and it means a lot to me to be finally playing it. So I think my reaction is justified. Because of my devastation, I wasn't sure If I should just continue playing the game or restart it for the sake of the channel. After a long time of trying to decide, I eventually made the very difficult decision of restarting the game again. That's how it's been since, and because I was only a couple of hours into the game when the issue originally happened, it didn't ruin the game for me. Now I'm a 10 whole hours in, and for seemingly no reason at all, my newest video, as I mentioned at the start of this post, also has a completely black screen. The difference is that it's black for a completely different reason to what happened before I restarted the game. It just seems to be for absolutely no reason that the capture card decided it could no longer see my console. This time, instead of being devastating... I'm just upset... and very annoyed. But more so upset. I know that losing footage has to be a common problem you people have in this community, so I was just hoping I could get some advice as to how to avoid this in the future. I don't have a double monitor setup, and my laptop is prone to crashing when left on for long periods, so I have to switch my monitor between HDMI (to see the console), and DisplayPort (to see the computer screen). I can only see one system at a time which makes me much more prone to not noticing issues when they prop up.
Thanks for any help 🙂
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2023.03.22 15:59 DANG_242000 Finally...40k with 5 different squads

Finally...40k with 5 different squads
Some advance tips for the 40k run: - Check the map layout before entering a mission. Believe me or not, this is already decide 60 to 70% chance of finishing that mission flawlessly. Avoid mission with buildings stand near vek's spawns. Choose the objectives suitable with the abilities of your squad. - Check the attacking order before deploying your mechs. This will help you predict what enemies are gonna do, especially on unfair difficulty where the enemies tend to do the most optimal moves, so you can arrange your mechs more strategically. - Control the number of veks on the field. I usually count 1 vek spawn is 1 upcoming threat, so i always try to keep the number of veks on the field and the upcoming vek spawns at a specific number. On unfair, 3 or 4 would be ideal. - On unfair difficulty, the abilities to move enemies around is much more prioritized than damage. So NEVER... Ever... Ever ever ever... Underestimate the power of secondary weapons. Especially when you are controlling a mech with no push or pull effect. Upgrading the damage is optional, but finding a weapon that does the differnent thing compare to your main weapon is a must. There is a whole video on youtube that teach you how to choose the secondary weapon correctly. The video is " How to master into the breach episode 2: Gearing up", uploaded by Soulmata. Also, dont be affraid to equip the wrong weapon to the wrong class mech, eventhough it can cost you 1 extra core, it's impact might suprise you. P/s : For the people who dont have netflix account but still want to play the game on mobile just like me, you can download the apk mod file of the game on the Gamedva or Apkaward website like i did. This mod allow us to play the whole game without any netflix subscription. This game is basically free on google play store so i dont think playing a crack version of the game would be that bad. Beside, i already got a paid version of the game on pc so... Wish you guys have fun with the game. I will try to answer the questions in the comment section below so if you have any questions about the game, dont be afraid to let me know *wink
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2023.03.22 15:58 TonyChanYT Reign in death vs reign in life

u/Slow-Lion9582, u/Designer_Custard9008, u/Christimates, u/Former-Log8699
Romans 5:
14Yet death reigned [G936] from Adam to Moses, even over those whose sinning was not like the transgression of Adam, who was a type of the one who was to come.
Strong's Greek: 936. βασιλεύω (basileuó) — 21 Occurrences
17For if, because of one man’s trespass, death reigned through that one man, much more will those who receive the abundance of grace and the free gift of righteousness reign in life through the one man Jesus Christ.
This is not literally reigning over other subjects as a king in a kingdom. It is a metaphor to mean reigning over oneself so that he does not sin.
20Now the law came in to increase the trespass, but where sin increased, grace abounded all the more, 21so that, as sin reigned in death, grace also might reign through righteousness leading to eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.
Romans 6:
12 Let not sin therefore reign in your mortal body, to make you obey its passions.
In this passage, Paul uses the word G936 six times to illustrate the concept of reigning in life or ruling one's own life. It is an important concept that becomes a theme in the book of Revelation.
Near the end of the Bible, we read symbols of eternal life in Revelation 22:
1Then the angela showed me the river of the water of life, bright as crystal, flowing from the throne of God and of the Lamb 2through the middle of the street of the city; also, on either side of the river, the tree of life with its twelve kinds of fruit, yielding its fruit each month.
Believers will reign in life:
5And night will be no more. They will need no light of lamp or sun, for the Lord God will be their light, and they will reign [G936] forever and ever.
Barnes' Notes on the Bible:
The word "reign" is often applied to the condition of saints in heaven, 2 Timothy 2:12, "If we suffer, we shall also reign with him;" Revelation 5:10; Revelation 20:6; Revelation 22:5. It means that they shall be exalted to a glorious state of happiness in heaven; that they shall be triumphant over all their enemies; shall gain an ultimate victory; and shall partake with the Captain of their salvation in the splendors of his dominion above, Revelation 3:21; Luke 22:30.
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2023.03.22 15:57 IsaiahTrenton What Role Should Denzel Have Won His Third Oscar For?

It seems like only a matter of time before Denzel Washington wins a third Oscar. He's achieved Meryl Streep status in that he can get nominated for damn near anything he does if he actually campaigns for it. He's been nominated four times after his Oscar win and I'd argue he probably should have a couple more nominations. Which role do you think he should've won that elusive third Oscar for? If we're going for performances he was nominated for then I'm gonna go with Fences. Otherwise how he didn't even get nominated for American Gangster is astounding to me. Somehow Ruby Dee managed to get a nomination but Denzel didn't. Which role would you have picked for him to get his third Oscar?
submitted by IsaiahTrenton to oscarrace [link] [comments]

2023.03.22 15:56 ZenZeusZen opinion on price?

Been lurking for a saab 9-3 aero 2.8 for awhile. Found one near me that seems to be in absolute great condition. 2007 54k miles, owner says nothings ever gone wrong with it. Big plus on the owner. He is asking $11,500 and says he has a pending offer for $10,500 not sure if that's true but he's still letting me look at the car tomorrow.
Curious on your thoughts pricing wise? Does this seem a bit high? I don't have a lot of comps around me to compare with. However, I wanted to some opinions.
Thanks yall! Cheers.
submitted by ZenZeusZen to saab [link] [comments]

2023.03.22 15:53 AlarmingStart1799 I feel so bad and I truly regret what I did, what to do?

Context: I'm 17f and in an after school club. The club is currently in the midst of electing the club leaders committee and the current committee sent out a Google form for those interested to fill in.
Idk what got into me, but I basically impersonated 2 people from that club by using their names and filling in random/stupid stuff to the questions. Today there was a meeting to find out who did it and I got really scared, as they said if no one owned up by a certain time they would report the matter to the higher authorities in the school.
Disclaimer that I had no malicious intent towards those 2 people, it was that I was filling in the forms for fun and decoded to use those 2 people names just before submitting. Now thinking about it, it was really a dick move and I just wasn't thinking clearly. I thought I could get away with it somehow. Evidently, this wasn't the case. I think the teachers would probably have conducted an investigation by finding IP addresses and all that hacking stuff.
The current club committee members have said that they would let the matter rest once the person owned up but I still feel uneasy. I already owned up and sent those 2 people very sincere apologies via text, and since it was in the evening, I told them I would apologise in person the next day too. But the problem is that I will see these people twice a week for the next 2 years and I really can't deal with the shame, guilt and regret although I fully acknowledge that I was totally in the wrong. What can I do to make things right and how can I move on from this?
TLDR I impersonated 2 people on Google forms for fun but not like exposing personal details, nothing criminal. Nearly got caught. Apologised to those involved but will still see them twice a week, how can I feel less ashamed and able to face them?
submitted by AlarmingStart1799 to Advice [link] [comments]

2023.03.22 15:53 Leonking360 How hard would it be for me to make an animated series?

I am currently writing a novel (it is 240 pages right now and nowhere near to be finished) but I believe it would be way better for me to tell the story with animation.
I now how to use programs like Vegas Pro, Photoshop, Premiere Pro etc. But I don't have any experience in 3d rendering and animation (besides the intros i made with Blender templates when i was 13). How long would it take for me to learn it and animate a whole animated series?
I have a 3080ti and a 7600x for rendering, would my system be sufficient?
And also (thank you if you have read this far) do you gave any program recommendations?
submitted by Leonking360 to animation [link] [comments]

2023.03.22 15:52 officialariacat Advertising summer accommodation?

Hey there everyone,
I’m in a private student accommodation at the moment, but I’ll be leaving Edinburgh for the year after the first week of April. My landlord has said that if I can find someone else who’s also a student (I think both undergrad or postgrad count) that would be willing to take over my room for the summer, they could reimburse me on the rent after that person moves in, which seems ideal for me given that I’m not going to be in there.
However, I’m a little unsure of how to go about finding people who might want this sort of thing - i.e. a room to stay in over the summer. Does anyone know about anywhere specific I could advertise the room or something?? It’s a great spot right by the King’s Buildings, but there are buses nearby that go right down near central campus too.
Thanks in advance for any help anyone can provide!
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2023.03.22 15:52 jondoe7423 37 [M4F] USA Oregon look for anywhere

This is going to be a long one... I ask you to please read all of this and take notes if you have questions or comments if you need to. I'm open to talking about all of this in private messaging.
So I've been looking using dating sites since I was around twenty years old with really very little success. I've tried various approaches, and they don't seem to work. This includes what information I share and don't share about myself. I'm going to be upfront here, I've spoken "to" probably over ten thousand women, and "with" a couple hundred. I'm not desperate nor a womanizer. However, time affords speaking to and with people. That adds up. Personally, I've had what I consider twenty-five/twenty-six relationships since I was fourteen. I've always been marriage minded. I won't get involved with anyone unless they, too, are marriage minded.
The problem here is that all of the dating apps/sites are plagued with massive amounts of hackers and scammers, or people that aren't seriously looking. All want money and I'm not interested in that. That isn't a real relationship where love is involved.
I was married once and divorced. You might think, "How can he say the sites didn't work?" Because of that. Well, I'm looking for life long, I've been divorced since mid to late 2019, and I've been looking for a few years now. Every relationship I've had except for one or two cheated on me. I'm growing depressed more and more, starting to believe I'm not worthy of real love. So many after swipes unmatched instantly without me saying a word! Anyway, I'm not here to guilt anyone.
One thing the dating apps do wrong is they won't let you write certain things you're looking for in a partner, even if you say it in the regular private chat to someone that you matched with.
Anyway, here's what I am looking for in a woman, and I want to clarify beforehand. Some of this information is probably going to cause you to think I am after a toy. However, I assure you that I am not, everyone is attracted to and / or seeking what they are seeking. There is a perfect explainable reason as to why some of these things are on the list that may offend you. The short reason and too long didn't read version is, it's what I am attracted to physically for sexual reasons. I'm very sight orientated. If I don't like it, then nothing is going to happen. I'm not selfish. That's just the way I work on that subject. A further explanation will be given if asked. All of these things are deal breakers for me.
1) So I am a communicator. Part of the reason my marriage didn't work out is because she was not a talker / communicator. We never could solve anything together because of it. I need someone who loves to communicate often. And often means full blown conversations and multiple times a day. I do not consider hi and bye and love you statements as awesome discussions. For the record I did not purse the divorce, she did.
2) I am a Biblical Jew. This type of Jew believes in The Messiah and that He is God. There are marked differences in belief from a Christian, though. We call the name of The Messiah by His actual birth name, which is Yahshua / Yahoshua. I worship every day, however, on the actual Biblical Sabbath, which is Friday sundown to Saturday sundown. I do not work, and I attend my congregation. What is the deal breaker here? The Sabbath. I'm looking for someone who does the same as me Friday sundown to Saturday sundown. Or, at the very least, is interested in looking into it for themselves.
3) Along with number two. I am kosher only, more actually specifically vegitarian, leaning toward vegan. I do not care if my spouse eats meat. However, I am looking for someone who is kosher. This means no blood in any meat that is eaten, and no unclean animals according to what the Bible says is clean and unclean.
4) I do not drink alcohol in any amount, nor do I smoke any substance at all, whether by fire lit or "vape." I don't do any of that, nor shoot up or use any drunks besides ibreprophen for pain or whatever a doctor prescribes for the medical issue. I'm looking for someone who doesn't use any "drugs."
5) I do not keep Easter (the bunny rabbit and / or Catholic traditions), I do not do Halloween either. I only observe real Biblical holidays. Im looking for someone who also does the Biblical holidays. However, if you don't do any of the above celebrations, including not doing the Bible ones, I am okay with that, too.
Now for the unsavory part... 6) My ex-wife and I had sex a year and three months before she left. Before that, we didn't have sex for nearly three years. I promised myself that whoever I get with next needs to be healthy to be able to put out, willing to help if she doesn't want to go the whole way. Of course, under normal circumstances. I won't get with someone who's going to hold out.
7) Here is probably the most annoying, irritating one on this list. However, this is a deal breaker because I have not been able to and can not do my part unless I am attracted to this. I am attracted sexually to a woman who has very large areolas (colored circle around the nipples), preferably puffy as well (I have an ex who is near my age that has puffy so don't tell me that's for other aged people). I also prefer saggy breasted women. But it's really more important the areolas size and look to me. Major plus if you're pierced there but not required. No, Im not looking for beat off material! Please don't let this discourage you. It's simply one thing. Also at no point will I pay you or gift you in order to make sure that you match what I wrote on this point. If you have an issue with that then please continue on. It's not negotiable.
8) Im also looking for someone who is healthy, means takes care of themself, likes to do things. That doesn't just like to stay home and knit all the time. Likes camping, hiking, exercise, get togethers, going out and doing things at random or planned. Someone preferably doesn't mind attending events.
I'm basically looking for someone to grow with and live life with. Someone who isn't rude, argumentative, a cheater, who is kind, giving, understands others' needs, and doesn't give up.
The things I've written above are deal breakers for me unless I shared that they aren't. I don't believe this is too much to ask and to check (refering to point 7).
Feel free to ask questions if you're remotely interested or think you match.
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2023.03.22 15:52 honmet Buying a house before an economic crash

I am new here, so excuse me if this was answered before or it is violating some rules. So, it looks like my home country is probably going bankrupt or at least into a severe economic crash in the near future (months or at best 1-2 years..) unless a lot of reforms are performed and aid is given. But anyway, I have a sum of cash sitting in my bank account, and i wanted to buy a house, prices are high (kept insanely increasing for the last years) but I am not sure if it is a wise decision. Should I keep the cash knowing that, in case of a crash, it won't worth much. or buy a house knowing that prices are now high and may go significantly down in case of a crash..
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2023.03.22 15:52 secretaire Bad gut feelings from Yellowstone

After 1883 and 1923 i went back to try Yellowstone again and, while i still dont like it nearly as much, I feel like knowing the past makes the present way more interesting and tolerable... but a few observations make me really nervous:
  1. John is just like Spencer. Almost like Brandon studied Kevin Costner's performance to create Spencer and i believe they are related.
  2. "Tiger by the tail" is used to describe both Beth and Alex in the two series and i dont think it was by accident.
  3. The ranch is constantly a source of pride and pain for these people. The modern family sort of treats it like a cursed place where nobody can have peace and that it is a burden to inherit and care for - almost like this starts with Elsa, the Dutton who literally picked that place to die. This place is not great for the Duttons.
  4. Jack and Elizabeth don't really seem like they are related to anybody in the modern Yellowstone universe and she is compared to Cara in the caretaker sense in the last episode so i dont know why they are there.
  5. A straightforward look at the family says that Spencer can't really make it a 7th generation ranch unless Sheridan has something hidden.
My conclusion is that Alex makes it to Montana and I think she dies there after having her baby or babies. Possibly by Whitfield? Spencer will absolutely murder whomever kills her. I feel like Jack and Elizabeth are going to raise those kids because Spencer will become either an outlaw and can't care for them or he will go to jail for murder for a few years and the kids barely know him once he gets out. Id think he could still run the ranch from jail or hiding for a few years because he and Jack are close and that he might play an uncle figure, tragically watching his own kids from arms-length.
My thoughts about jail come from the fact that John III says his dad got a lot of cowboy help from the prison. it heavily supports the idea that his own dad (Spencer) was in jail for a while and that when he gets out, spencer is kind of a Rip character that starts the branding tradition in 1944. It would also kind of explain Matthew McConaughey's cast choice (if even true) since Spencer would look a lot different after being broken and underfed in a Montana prison.
I've been listening to a lot of sad, old country lately so maybe it's shaping my mood but Yellowstone really seems like its cursed for the Dutton family and that they're just on borrowed time. Any argument or thoughts on my dark mood? Please talk me out of it and tell me Spencer and Alex get a long happy marriage on the ranch.
submitted by secretaire to 1923Series [link] [comments]