I could use some inspiration today! I was on this board a lot last summer, and successfully lost 30lbs doing CICO. I felt great, and it actually felt pretty easy.
Then, the holidays came and I loosened up a lot. In early January, I had breast reduction surgery (my original motivation for the weight loss) and wasn’t on deficit or tracking at all afterwards. Now, I’m able to be back on a deficit and at the gym, but am having such a hard time. Most days it’s just “one more” take out order, just “one more” comfort snack, promising I’ll go to the gym tomorrow.
I’m in grad school in my busiest semester ever, really I’m struggling to take basic care of myself right now. I have a tiny kitchen and no dishwasher and don’t really love cooking. I also have a lot of food sensitivities so meal planning can be stressful and a bummer. I did just get an air fryeconvection oven combo, which I’m hoping will help. I also resubscribed to a meal kit service, which was really helpful last summer.
I’m about ten lbs up from my previous lowest, and just feel so sad about all my work going to waste. I want to get back on track and feel motivated and proud of myself again. I need to find ways to relax and feel comfort without eating takeout and watching tv. Would love to hear any stories of what worked for you when you had to start again.

I can't believe i am writing this post, after all i have read, researched and more importantly what my heart still tells me.
I met the most amazing person i have have ever come across, she is different to the descriptions i have read, open, thoughtful, caring. But my god she has caused me heart break and pain that i never knew existed. Now reading what i have wrote its literally like most of the post
I met her for a short while few weeks, Dec 2020, we connected we kept it platonic we were friends, she told me she was going through a lot. But looking back now i was a figure in her life i didn't mind helping her out financially, but she let me down and her actions didn't meet her words. I wasn't perfect either.
We agreed no contact for 3 months in June 2021, then i got back in touch as friends, she wanted us to be together romantically, i was so unsure for a month. But i said screw it, no regrets now. It was so intense, just amazing, then a few ups and down we moved on and got over it. Even though it was up and down, we were thinking we want to take this further quicker. Throughout the whole time she would tell me when she needed space or couldn't speak ( i understand i have a mental health condition).
A few weeks ago she had been been feeling low when we were meant to meet, so hadn't seen her for 6 weeks, we would speak each day (all day) then she did something i thought was a bit off it made me question her, a guy who we were speaking with when we were out one night a while back, had added her on instagram and her back. She hadn't said at the time, then a few months later mentioned it in conversation. I asked if she thought that was strange, why did he add just her and not me also? she got defensive i thought i had overstepped the mark so i apologized.
Then she completely changed after this saying i had triggered her. There was then a week of her saying she didn't know if she wanted to be with me, she didn't want to be questioned about something like that, needed to consider if she wanted to be with me, she loved me but was worried it would turn out like her previous relationships. I understood i know (not from what she has just told me) her two last partners were abusive and cheated on her. So i accepted the indecision she was open about it and told me.
One week later she decided she wanted to make it work with me a Saturday, after speaking with her friends saying she shouldn't throw this away, we said we wouldn't make any big decisions moving in together or whatever. It's been 3 days since then, i gave her money at the weekend as she was out and had ran out of money. Reading this now it makes it clear, but ye heart rules ye head right.
She got ill Monday, i am meant to be seeing her this weekend (its long distance) we both meet when our previous partners have the kids, over the past 6 weeks its been hard not seeing her due to her mental health so i was so looking forward to seeing her this weekend. I knew what was coming can we leave it this weekend and oh wow she has just sent the message as i am writing this "i can't do this i have doubts they haven't left etc...."
I haven't reacted negatively as she has made me so happy after such a long time, i didn't think i would ever feel this way about someone, even though i know she doesn't want to be with me now (it doesn't matter how nice the reason is "you deserve to be happy") upshot is thats her decision. I don't regret meeting her being with her, i just know now that this is going to be so tough, i need to let go off the hope and move on - not with anyone else just be comfortable being with me. I need to not think is she with someone else, i truly don't think she is as she has a son and would not bring anyone back to the house. I guess its just moving on, deep down if she said i have changed my mind tomorrow i would go through it all again as i. love her. I know it will be death by a thousand cuts and i should just block but man am struggling, any words of support sorely needed.

RideBHM Makes Birmingham A Downhill Mountain Biking Destination About Town
"The impressive flow-focused wonderland came with the help of Red Mountain Park and opened in November to over 400 people from 11 states. The park is currently hosting free beginner classes, offers bike rentals, and will be hosting youth camps - including scholarships for Birmingham-area students who wouldn’t typically have this experience - in the spring/summer. Day and ride pass specials can also often be found on the park’s social media pages"
"A mountain bike park of this caliber is not a common site, and people have been consistently traveling from Mississippi, Tennessee, Georgia, Florida, and beyond to take in the enthralling jumps and berms found on these new trails. The park’s masterminds see it as their role in showcasing the beauty that is the Magic City. “I think Birmingham’s an awesome city and people just need to give us a chance,” King explains,"

So I am having very bad stomach issues, because of which I can barely lie down, this has been going on for 3 days now, and I went to the hausarzt and he said it's nothing concerning and he did some physical maneuvers which did help but only for an hour or so.
So right now all the discomfort and pain are back, and I feel like I need at least some medication, or best if I can have an imaging study (barium swallow or endoscopy) to know the actual cause.
In that case, can I just go to the hospital? I don't want to wait till tomorrow and see hausarzt again when I know I won't be able to even sleep tonight.
Thank you!

In light of the recent spate of "which shoes should I get?" posts I thought I'd try and steer vaguely back on-topic :)
Been a fun few weeks here in the UK, so far we've avoided the massive freezing weather system that was due early this month, so as we head towards spring it's been a mixture of some warm days and cooler wet ones. It's now probably about a year since I started going barefoot "properly" and the last 2 weeks have seen my time out walking jump considerably - I don't think I've been averaging 15K steps a day for the last 2 weeks (huskies like walking!)
Getting to experience some muddy fields and paths in local parks, lovely puddles on the pavements and even some slightly warmer pavements now as we get a bit more sun :) Had some school kids get my attention yesterday to ask about why I was barefoot (I'd just trekked through park!) and rather oddly blurted out "oh I just have sensitive feet!" which possibly didn't quite make sense :D Besides that most other people who come over for a chat when I'm out walking want to fuss the dog and don't even mention about my lack of footwear :)

My parent put down a deposit for a new building house in Florida Orlando. The home is expected to close in October / November this year.
Due to my grandparent's passing away, she's taking leave on her role and will return overseas to take care of her funeral arrangement. The new house was meant for my grandma and her to reunite in the US. If you are an immigrant, you can relate to how much this meant for her. She worked hard to get to this point, but everything changed due to covid and the sudden unfortunate event.
The construction company is refusing to cancel the contract and said she'll need to get a loan disapproval, but the mortgage company she's going with doesn't require an income check so they also refuse to send in a loan disapproval.
I'm here looking for legal advise and lawyer recommendation in the area of Orlando.
Thanks for reading.

Hello! A bit of background, I was diagnosed with ADHD in 2021 and started out on adderall, but it made my mouth SO dry it was unbearable, so we switched to Vyvanse in July 2022. Since then I’ve been on 30mg a day. My insurance recently stopped supporting my psychiatrist so I had to switch (UGH) and my new one (who is lovely!) is wanting to monitor my BP while on stimulants, which I get! I’ve never had a problem with high bp before, always between 116-120/80, but last month after I ordered my blood pressure cuff and she had me take my BP during our telehealth appointment, it was 158/95 and then when she had me take it again, 148/98. She wasn’t SUPER concerned because I had just been running around trying to find where I’d put the cuff (lol thanks ADHD) but told me to check it once or twice a week until our next appointment (which is tomorrow). It has consistently been between 140-155/90-100 since our last appointment, and now I’m super stressed that she’s going to take me off stimulants because of it. Has anyone else experienced a spike in BP while on Vyvanse? Part of me doesn’t want to trust this BP monitor because I’ve never had an issue but I don’t think she’s going to care about that!

Does anyone know if the Spotify presale code is the same as the mailing list code? I’m so bummed. I was in the waiting room 30 minutes early and got an error message saying they were resolving an issue and didn’t get tickets 😭 wanted to try again tomorrow for the Spotify presale

"Why won't you come with me?" Andrea's voice whined down the phone in the tone she always adopted when she wasn't getting her way. "C'mon… please? Everyone else is busy..."
"I already told you, I'm not going back to another one of your shitty dive clubs. Remember last time when I nearly got my eye gouged out in the moshpit? I had to take a week off work."
"So what if you got your bell rung for the first time, you really want to die without any scars? Besides, do you have any idea how hard it was to get these tickets? I had to pay some random street guy double just to get us in the door."
"Well, what's the big deal about this place, then? Why's it so exclusive?"
"Suck Shaft."
"What?"
"Suck Shaft, they're opening. Headliner's some local hick but everyone's going to see Suck Shaft, it's their first gig in like ten years or something. How in the fuck have you never heard of Suck Shaft?"
"Andrea, can you please stop saying 'Suck Shaft' for a minute… let me think…"
"Look, are you coming or not? We'll be in and out in two hours, Tom, I promise. You'll be no worse off for work tomorrow, might even have something interesting to say around the water cooler, ay?"
"Fine... As long as we're only staying for the opener."
"Great! Pick me up at six."
beep
I pulled up outside Andrea's house to find her sitting impatiently on the doorstep and she eagerly bounded over and hopped inside.
"Are you as excited as I am?!" She asked giddily, looking at me with her make-up-caked face. She presented two little white tickets and passed one over. "This is gonna be a night to remember!"
"Yeah, whatever… Two hours, then I'm going home, so don't fuck around, okay?" I put the car in gear and departed from the pavement. "I mean it, Andrea. I can't mess up with this job right now."
"Jeeeez, you're such a stick in the mud…" She groaned dramatically as her eyes rolled back into her head.
As we drove slowly down the decrepit street which was home to the run-down venue I was immediately shocked at just how busy it really was. A swarm of patrons all waiting to get inside mobbed the sidewalk and spilled over into the street. After a tedious fifteen minutes of creeping around, I eventually managed to squeeze the car into a tiny space two streets over.
It was freezing but I gave Andrea my jacket anyway after catching a few passive aggressive 'brrrrr's' as we walked side-by-side to the club.
"Why didn't you just bring your own coat?"
"Well, I didn't know we'd have to park like a hundred fucking miles away, did I?"
"What if it's cold inside? You consider that one, genius?"
"We won't be cold for very long," She shot me a sly wink as she dug into her back pocket and held up a baggie containing two tiny pills stamped with a smiling alien. "Roll with me?"
I looked into her big green pleading puppy dog eyes and found myself unable to say no. That and it had been a while since I'd gotten my hands on some decent ecstasy. Andrea always got good X.
"I'll take half. Remember I still have to get us both home in one piece after this." I said in a defeated voice, but secretly I was excited for the first time that day.
"Yay!" Andrea hopped up and clicked the heels of her Nikes at me. "This is gonna be great!"
She pulled the bag open and bit half a pill, handing me the other half. Then, without any hesitation, she slammed the other full one down too before flashing her tongue at me the way I imagine they make the patients do at mental hospitals after med time.
"For fuck's sake, Andrea. Really? You said two hours. In two hours' time you're gonna be completely gone, I'll probably have to carry you through the dance floor, prise your fingers off the stage just to get you out the door with me."
"A promise is a promise." She booped my nose condescendingly the way you might a small child. I always hated when she did that, endearing as it was. "When it's over, it's over. I won't hold you back."
"I hope not." I'd gotten the pill down quickly, but that bitter taste still permeated the surface of my tongue and a little at the back of my throat. "I really hope not..."
We rounded the corner and joined the back of the line and found ourselves relieved that it was moving relatively quickly. I stood on my toes and got a decent look at the action up front. The bouncer wasn't even really checking the tickets, just a nod in acknowledgement at whatever random white paper was being presented. This prompted me to check the one in my pocket.
It was riddled with typos. I held it up to Andrea and she looked at me as if I was from Mars.
"What?"
"You paid double for fake tickets?"
"Yeah, so what? They'll get us in, won't they?"
"Jesus, Andrea. I swear, two hours and then we're leaving. Okay? This is gonna be a nightmare to get away from, look how busy this fucking street is, it's all because of these fake ticket scalping fucks..."
The ecstasy had begun to take effect and I couldn't help but feel a little shame for just how hard my half a pill was already kicking my ass. I looked over at Andrea for the first time since we'd joined the queue, of which was quickly packed behind us as we gradually approached the front, boxing us in. She was chewing voraciously at her bottom lip. I put my arm around her shoulder reassuringly and she turned to me with her big wobbly pupils. The vibrant green of her irises almost obscured by them.
"We will get in, right? Won't we?" She asked with a sort of desperation that I understood. I'd had a 'bad' X trip before when my plans got cancelled and I'd taken too much, ended up milling around my apartment hugging pillows and gnawing at my toothbrush. I pictured Andrea disappointedly sitting on her couch while she ferociously stroked her cat with hardstyle blasting through her TV speakers.
"Yeah, I think we'll get in. Don't worry." She pulled me closer to her and we embraced. Usually that took an hour or two but the clear overdose had ramped up the process. "Are you sure you're okay to go in here? You shouldn't have done all that at once."
"Oh, y-yeah" She chattered at me through her clenched teeth. She broke away for a second and yelled into the crowd behind us.
"SUCK SHAFT! WOOO!"
She was met with a rallying cry of about two dozen other people who were also prematurely wasted. With a pleased giggle she took my arm again and snuggled in, which was a relief because it was so damn cold on that sidewalk. We got close to the front and I whispered into Andrea's ear.
"Look, just keep your head down and don't look at the bouncer. If he sees how fucked up you are he won't let us in, okay?"
"Okey-doke…"
"Gimme your ticket."
I took her ticket and approached the big man by the door as Andrea half-hid behind me. No words were exchanged, barely even a look. He grabbed our tickets, and in we went.
"Here's your jacket back." Andrea thrust my knockoff leather jacket towards me and I put it back on, knowing that it'd eventually just become a hindrance in the heat. I followed closely behind as we descended the sickly white painted concrete stairwell, already littered with cigarette butts and empty bottles and vomit possibly from the night before. The music was getting louder as we got closer to the underground set. Thick swathes of bass resonated in the walls and in the floor and the ceiling and I felt myself come alive.
The stairs ended after a few turns and Andrea took my hand and led me into the packed crowd, all moving sinuously to the beat. I felt a jab in my ribs but I didn't care. We were somewhere close to the stage, but I couldn't tell where. My vision flickered and moved with my body as I danced with Andrea, every so often taking an accidental shove from a stranger and giving out a few of my own. That moment, I don't know how long it lasted, but it was the last time I was ever truly happy.
I brushed it off at first, something being shouted that looking back, I know must have been 'fire'. I just didn't want to believe it. Then, when the dancefloor broke its rhythm and people began to push into us towards the exit, I realized what was happening. Andrea looked into my eyes and I could see she knew it too, that rapturous joy snuffed out by terror. When the real world creeps into the fantasies we use to escape, turning them foul forever.
The music was still blaring, but the stage was empty. Smoke trickled out from behind it. Screams began to overtake the bass as people crammed in beside us, all running in the same direction. The lit single door exitway was in near darkness spare a few gaps that weren't full of people squeezing through. It was utter chaos.
All around us the ones who'd fallen over were stepped on in the scramble, I could hear their bones snapping under the weight of frantic footfalls and their pained reactions as they gasped their last breaths before giving in. Several men and women were actively shoving people back, throwing elbows and punches with others retaliating and then succumbing to the trampling themselves. We managed to reach the exit door leading to the stairs, but as I squeezed myself through Andrea's wrist got caught in the doorframe and was shattered by the incoming horde pushing through the cramped doorway three at a time. She screamed, shrieked out, and then was lost. I didn't look back, I was overcome with an unbearable rage. I stood in that doorway and I kicked out hard, knocking at least a dozen people back into the club, which was now entirely ablaze as flames engulfed the stage rendered near invisible by the thick black smoke.
I wasn't giving anything close to a fuck. I jerked my elbows into noses, I yanked back two womem ahead of me and they tumbled backwards down the stairs into the fiery oblivion below. I kicked and I punched and I shoved and I think I even bit a guy at one point, until eventually, I managed to wriggle through the open door and into the night air as sirens screeched down the street towards the scene. I looked back over my shoulder at the carnage as other escapees of the blaze rushed past me to safety. I did too, except I didn't stop running.
I got in my car and I drove home.
Fifty-three people died in that club that night. Seventy were injured, many in ways that'll surely have made their lives a living hell since. Andrea. I'm not sure if Andrea died in the crush or under some fucker's boot or if the smoke got her, or the fire. All I know is that she didn't make it. I just hope it was quick. Oh, fuck, how I hope it was quick... I look back and it's like I can see her lying there by that jammed up door with her wrist all bent backwards with the bone sticking out while she pleads, begs, the other people there to help her. Everyone ignored her. I ignored her.
I don't like to think about it. I can't. So I don't. I moved away. Nobody knows I was there, or what I did. I know I'll never forget it, though. I know that I'll never forgive myself.

I've just got home from the most difficult moment of my life, hearing my best friend and the love of my life of 2+ years tell me that no matter what I do, she can't take me back.
Last Thursday a very pointless and petty argument somehow escalated to the point of no return. In a bit of a rant I, for reasons I cannot explain, brought up a repulsive part of my girlfriends past and used it against her. The millisecond the words left my mouth I knew what I'd done and was instantly apologetic and regretful, but the damage had already been done. She hung up the phone, called me an hour later in flooding tears and told me she could no longer think of me the same and had to end the relationship.
Fast forward to today, I've just been to her house with a bag full of her things and spoken in the car for a couple hours. We've both bawled our eyes out, I've spilled my heart out in every which way and told her exactly what she means to me, how I want to fix everything I've done wrong and if she can ever trust me again then I will never repeat the same mistake, but no matter the plea it appears impossible for her.
I've messed up and ruined the best relationship of both of our lives. We were 2 peas in a pod, best friends all the way and both wanted to share the rest of our lives together, and now just like that, because of one moment of madness and me speaking before thinking, it's over. To say I'm broken is the understatement of the ages...
My question is, for people who have been involved in similar situations and had their heart broken by someone they trusted, is there any chance at all that time may soften the blow for her so she may feel capable of giving me another chance? I want her back more than I want my next breath, she was my other half and without her I feel completely broken and incapable of facing tomorrow. I know that pain will ease with time, but the love I have for her is so deep that I dont know if I'll ever get over losing her, especially under these circumstances where I've acted so out of character...
TL;DR - I've broken my long term partners heart in a moment of stupidity by bringing up a dark moment of her past and using it against her. She feels its impossible for me to rectify and no longer thinks of me the same by breaking her trust so badly. is there a chance that given space and time, she may come round to me again, or is the damage too much?

Thursday, March 23rd @ 2pm & 6pm - Sherman Heights Community Center 2258 Island Ave SD, CA 92102

These Utility bills are too damn high! Please show up tomorrow, below is a list of topics you could speak on, or just tell your personal story of how these price-gouged rates have affected your daily life.
- SDG&E Takes 3 Million out of San Diego Every DAY
- 25% of San Diegans (350,000) are currently behind on their bills
- SDG&E is auto-enrolling delinquent accounts onto payment plans, entrapping San Diegan's with utility debt just for staying warm this winter
- SDG&E has pushed forward NEM 3.0 de-incentivizing residential solar which is essential for San Diegans to effectively address climate change and ever-increasing utility bills
- SEMPRA/SDGE has recorded mind-numbing profits quarter after quarter, directly related to our utility rate increases
- SDG&E Plans on raising rates for electricity and natural gas every year until 2027
These rates and rate hikes are unconscionable/immoral. Please show up to this in-person meeting and make a statement. Tell your story of how these price-gouged utilities have affected your daily life. This is our last opportunity to make our complaints heard to the CPUC (Governing council of SDG&E)

I am writing this post in an attempt to calm my anxiety and continue with my life as I attempt to get diagnosed and medicated. Currently, I have a PCP appointment scheduled for tomorrow and psychiatrist appointment scheduled for monday. but even though I did those things, obviously doesn't make my situation right now better. so I just need validation for the steps I have taken and how I feel.
I 27F am in law school. third year of law school. i have a job lined up after graduation and have a stable relationship. nothing is wrong externally. but this doesn't stop me from falling apart every 4-5 weeks for weeks at a time. this has consistently been an issue in my life, getting worse over time as I get to tasks that require more responsibility and consistency. aka jobs and school.
high school: extreme sleeper (averaging 12hrs/day and struggling to stay awake during the day) extremely hyper, loud, always talking impulsively and over people. this led me to be left out of social groups and without any lasting friends from hs. i failed some classes but still graduated and went straight to college.
college: extreme sleeping (sleeping even more than before bc my parents were not there to regulate, averaging 15hrs/day) missed 90% of my classes despite loving school. still did well in school by studying all nighters before exams. failed couple classes but these were unimportant electives therefore never became a real issue. again. i love learning and school. wouldnt mind learning about all the different disciplines in the world instead of doing the supposed fun things in life like partying or what not. at this point in life, i started smoking 'grass' and drinking casually (never became a big issue that i felt it was an addiction, occasional use). to help myself with being late all the time, i start overcompensating and showing up WAY early. meaning whenver i think, i should go, imma be late (even if its an hour earlier) i leave. because otherwise, i will not make it there. every month, i have a weekend of full complete 24hr sleep/in and out of consciousness time.
post grad: i started a professional job. although i knew i had to show up and loved the job and coworkers, i couldnt stop myself from missing. i missed many shifts (but never enough to get in trouble). i so frequently missed major events that i promised to be there for. SO MANY TIMES. presentation i was supposed to give? OOPS I FUCKING FORGOT. event i was supposed to help in? FUCKING FORGOT. I AM ELSEWHERE DOING A DIFFERENT JOB.
law school: wow. i thought higher risk == better likelihood of me making changes and motivating self. NOPE. it just led to higher anxiety and longer periods of my regular falling apart. especially with covid beginning right when law school started, i cried every day as i tried to keep up and not fall apart. i love everything about the job/school. and i get so excited in the beginning of the semestewhen i get myself together after a new anxiety/depression medication.
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when i finally sought help for ADHD specifically (after talking to PCP, psychoeducational specialist), i was told by my psychiatrist that they were hesitant to see me as a ADHD patient because of my anxiety oh and because im in a college town and i would probably misuse the medication.
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i know that anxiety can create similar feelings in people. but throughout my adult life, thats what i believed i had. but never felt it accurately described me. why was it that i was falling apart cyclically if its just general anxiety.
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it always feels like i hit a wall. A HUGE FUCKING WALL FILLED WITH MY FAILURES AND INABILITY TO DO WHAT I WANT TO DO.
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im not afraid i will fail the bar exam. honestly -- i think i can force myself through it.
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im more afraid of post bar -- when i will start a full time job. with full responsibilities over clients.
-- I KNOW I WILL CONTINUE FALLING APART REGULARLY. i dont think i can live like this.
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sorry for the post being so long and winded. but it was a helpful way of laying everything down and process. im not looking for a diagnosis or any advice of next times. i know what i need to do. i just want empathy to help calm down before i can get to those steps.

Alright guys! I’m going for it, I’m applying for a GS4 position in my area that I truly hope I get hired for. I already manage a campground and the position is for recreation technician. I feel confident in my resume and references, however I did put not to contact my current supervisor because I don’t want them to know I’m looking for other jobs . Is there any advice you lovely humans can give me? I have until the 30th (closing) to adjust my resume and there’s an event tomorrow evening I’m going to about the hiring. In your experience how long does it take before I get word that I may be hired? And then after that to start the job. I know it’s different everywhere just wondering what others experiences were with it! Thank you for any and all help, advice or encouragement you can give me! I love the job I have, I just am burnt out on living on site for the last five years!