Floor plan sister wives house layout
Trip 4 - A Ride into Eternity
2023.06.03 04:30 DueJellyfish8097 Trip 4 - A Ride into Eternity
MEQ30 score: 130/150; second only to trip 2 which was 145/150.
Note that I seem to either be unusually sensitive to this stuff or I have a really psychoactive cactus
Setting
Trip 4 is set indoors, at my house in the central north island of NZ predominantly lying down on my futon in the living room, with the curtains close and blindfolded for the majority of the peak. The heat pump is on. During the trip I played nature videos on netflix (docos that feature nature scenery and places) with the sound off, and the music that was playing was a John Hopkins Psychedelic playlist, with some modifications (mainly I added ~2 hours of instrumental beatles music to cover the comeup period and about 30 minutes of Enya to the open of the peak). Music was playing on a Boom 3 speaker. I spend a large portion of the peak blindfolded with a t-shirt (although not entirely but I’d guess probably 3 out of 4 hours of the peak were closed eye.
The trip begins at night (initial dosing at 1am on Saturday May 27th). The trip duration is probably in total ~18 hours – 2 hours of comeup, peaking from 3AM to 7AM, the glow / comedown phase from 7AM to 5PM (was basically laying down most of this time, still getting gradually fading open and closed eye visuals). The sort of lights flickering at the edge of my vision and ear ringing that seems to signify the cactus fully letting me go occured around 5-6pm, after which I was able to start standing up and do a few tidy up tasks before bed. Still had that good feeling until 8pm when I drifted off to sleep.
Set
I spent the week prior to the trip (Monday to Friday) working out of town supporting emergency response work to some flooding events. Friday I drove back home arriving home around 4pm. I did some meditation and listened to relaxing music in the evening and also had some coffee to keep me up until I took the meditation. I also did some pre-trip journaling and thinking about intentions etc. Overally, probably the set was so-so – previous trips were partially preceded by week long holidays so my overall moodstate was good. I was probably slightly anxious and a little bit unsettled entering into the trip.
Flight Instructions
Essentially the classic flight instructions.
o If you see a door, open it and go through
o Trust the trajectory, follow your path
o Let go, be open, trust
o If you see a window, look through it
o If you see a demon, stand your ground and question it
o I am safe. Let go.
Preparation
I did the same tea making tec as last time, more or less. The piece of cactus was 260mm long and 90mm thick. I peeled the outer clear skin but did not remove any spines. I then cut the cactus into approx 1 inch thick pieces. A difference this time was that I separated the dark green outer skin, my theory being more surface area exposed to the water might increase extraction. I chopped all the pieces up finely into pieces, including the center and put it in the pot and added water. The first boiling lasted about 4 hours, because I added about 2 liters during the boiling process to keep it going. The second boil was a 2 hour straight boil of fresh water added to the cactus. I used a t-shirt to squeeze fluid out of the cactus pieces and a strainer to transfer the fluid through to try and get some of the gunk out. The final reduction was to boil the liquid down to about 1 cup.
The Trip
This part is a transcription mostly of notes I made during the trip. Another section will try and delve into the peak experience (what I can remember of it) although it is mostly ineffable.
12:10 AM
Working on the last te areduction now. Total boiling time will be about 6.5 hours I guess. I have set the TV up so that I can see it from where the futon is; my idea is to watch nature documentaries on mute with the music playlist plaing. I have found a black t-shirt to use as a blindfold as I plan to do a significantly more closed eye journey.
I am excited to see where the cactus takes me this time, and what I will learn about myself and the world.
I intend to change my habits. I intend to learn what she has to teach me. Kissing gaia.
I will let go and embrace the journey, and float downstream.
12:35 AM
Still doing the tea reduction. Soon! I am surprised I am not tired at this stage – I’m excited for the trip I guess 😊
12:57 AM
It begins. Final boil done. Down to one cup. I am letting it cool down.
May my journey be beautiful and may I find important lessons.
I intend to change my habits.
A re-write of the flight instructions:
If you see a door, open it and go through
If you see a window, look through it
Let go and float downstream
Let go, be open, trust the journey
Trust the trajectory, follow your path
1:01 AM
The first sip. Blech. Always tastes bitter and gross although it seems to taste worse this time. It tastes thicker and grosser than previous reductions.
1:11AM
10 minutes in. Have been sipping it slowly. Gross.
The best way out is through! I am watching Our Planet footage.
1:15 AM
Starting to feel a tingling sensation on the right side of head / brain. Stomach starting to feel rumbly and toss and turn. Feeling a mild tingling sensation in my body.
1:15 AM
Hi! Where will she take me? What will she show me? (Addendum / writers remark: Who am I saying hi to?)
1:17 AM
Starting to feel a bit ‘grounded’ in the present
1:23 AM
Lighting ringing sound and a subtle shift in noise perception. Time is slowing down. Becoming even more present in the moment.
Still sipping the tea
1:27 AM
Have one third of the tea lift. Took a big gulp. Feeling naseaus / like vomiting / queasy. Initial sensations of tingling have worn off.
Still watching Our Planet.
1:33 AM
Body high starting to kick in. Mainly in the head this time. Edge lights at the edge of my vision starting.
1:41 AM
I am letting go. Some extra colour / deeper texture already.
1:44 AM
Feeling queasy!! Happy! 😊
1:43 AM
Don’t worry. Time is stopping
1:47 AM
Talking faster when I am reading through my intentions
Feeling good
Perception shift in visual effects and sound, time slowing down.
1:50 AM
She says lay down.
Door is opening.
(There is a sketch of a smiling face and a sun shining on the smiling face, and a sketch of a 3 dimensional door that has opened and is shimmering. )
1:52 AM
Essentially done the tea. Extremely queasy and almost vomitted. There is maybe 1/15th of it left in the cup (sludgy solids) but i can’t bring myself to drink it.
1:54 AM
Enya playing now 😊
1:58 AM
Feel the love!
2:28 AM
Music! 😊 (There is a sketch of waves)
Music = Amazing. The notes.
2:00 AM
Mega queasy now
2:27 AM
Queasy still. Wanna vomit. Time is slowing. Extra perception. Deeper colour. Slower perception (everything is slowing down). I can hear every little movement and noise the heap pump makes. Lots of sound perception.
I feel good
Intense colour depth starting.
2:38
LOVE
TIME STOPPING
BEAUTY. COLOUR. ITS COMING 😊 😊 😊 LOVE. SOON. TIME IS DISSOLVING.
2:41 AM
Taihiti on TV. 3D and 4D. The colour is deep and incredible. It is coming out of the screen. Beautiful beyond words.
Change is cood!
Colour; the blue is bluer and deeper.
2:50 AM
We are all the same. Everybody is the same. Human
3:00 AM
(Have started mostly wearing the blindfold at this point although taking it off to pee / write)
Intense closed eye visuals. Coloroful triangles and patterns; seems like glass breaking apart in my vision. Shifting to the music.
There is a door that opens and a vast staircase through it. Going in
3:09 AM
Watching a video of NZ. Beautiful. Beautiful beyond words – NZ is beauty.
3:30 AM
3:10 to 3:30 – eyes closed. My brother was here – he is here. He reached out and hugged me, I felt it, and I hugged him. We watched the TV. He asked why Enya music? I said mom then we were back in Canada with mom.
3:37 AM
My brother is here. Just two bros hanging out watching TV. He hugged me again. We have a cover – I am doing this to change my life. But really I am just hanging out with my brother.
3:47 AM
More closed eye.
The roof was gone. The floor was gone. I seemed to be in space, or somewhere else. I was laying at different angles. Not sure where I was. More hugs from My brother is here. No one knows. They don’t kneed to know. Just us hanging out.
4:00 AM
I was in another dimension. I was in a long tunnel, stretched out, infinitely long, then the tunnel snapped back to completely flat circle with me in it.
I was folding round – 8 dimensionally and rotating round inside it.
All good. My brother still there. Multi dimensional ride with 2 bros.
I folded round multi dimensionally, I turned flat, I was spread out against walls. I turned into paint and dissolved. I was in Cochrane.
Changing habits – it’s all a cover to hang out with my brother. Shhhhhhhhh.
He says he’ll tell his side he is helping me change my habits.
But we are just hanging out. LOL.
4:10 AM
I folded round on myself. Folded up. I was vertical while laying down.
4:30 AM
I was in a clockwork mind room or auditorium / theater space that contained my mind. I could see my entire mind, floating in this room. But my mind was also Gaia / the infinite love from Trip 2. I had an out of body perspective – I could see myself, standing on a ladder next to mind, with wood and other things being passed to me from my brother. I was working on fixing it. But I was out of body (no me ?). I had a birds eye perspective of the entire thing; I could see my mind, and I could see verything that was wrong with it. I could see all these doors / windows in it, with papers and images flowing out of it and scattering everywhere.
After this, I was transported into this big gear rearranging clockwork space (sort of like, the moving staircases in Harry Potter but all gears and Clock work) with pieces rearranging. The pieces were me. I spread apart and moved apart into these gears and puzzle pieces, then it put me back together (writers note, one specific thing I remember was the leg that always limps when I get really depressed / suicidal being removed and replaced with a new one). The put me back together. Different. But togetehr.
Swirly thing. I went through this swirly portal (like the rotating swirl time travel portal in Austin Powers lol). Time travel. Space travel. Back in Canada. My brother was alive. I was my brother.
Paint – I kept dissolving into paint! All spread out.
5:00 AM
We were building a ski building. Then moved into this strange Mexican space.
Paint! I turned into paint! And Nacho cheese, I turned into Nacho Cheese! LMAO!
I was back in an enormous, infinitely large clockwork room, with huge infinitely large clockwork heads and clock work men. A clockwork mansion. All imitation – the boys. Clockwork?
Time frozen (5:20AM)
5:20 AM
Mexican ski girls
Lots of mexican stuff
I was a mexican girl
6:20 AM (Time not written down but believe this was around 6 – 6:20 AM
Did I get molested or abused somehow as a child? Is that what it showed me?
I asked out loud
It seems like the answer was yes, but I can’t find the door or kick the door in to find it
Mexican girls? Playing? Was that it?
WHAT THE FUCK (this is written in enormous letters across an entire page)
Later – maybe 8 – 9 AM:
Spent several hours looking for doors and windows trying to find it. Couldn’t find it, but eventually a name drew itself with my eyes closed, out of floating glowing balls, but I couldn’t quite read it and it wouldn’t fully form. Though I think I know the name.
Nothing written from 9AM to 8PM although essentially I was just laying on the futon in bliss. Ostensibly the end of the peak and the hours after it might be described as a 'bad trip' although mescaline seems to put a pretty cozy blanket of love and happiness around things.
8 PM
Long glide and come down. Hours of intense crying, cathartic, but stressed. Laying blasted out on the futon almost till sunset. Then was able to get up and move around more from around 4-5 PM. Sad but releaxing nad healing. Spent alot of time crying and cuddling the body pillow. It’s OK. Whatever it was wasn’t my fault, I didn’t deserve it or do anything wrong. I deserves to be loved and cared for. Can learn to love myself.
Peak
Early in the peak, with my eyes closed, one of the first closed eye visuals I had at the transition from the body high / comeup to the peak was of of all of these great triangle glass shards starting to crack and break apart. It was me, breaking apart.
Early in the peak, my brother arrived. I remember thinking about him, and then I felt him reaching out to hug me – I opened my arms and we hugged. I felt the hug. I can still feel the echo of it when I’m writing this. It felt like a real hug.
The roof disappeared, and the floor disappeared, and then I was floating somewhere, in time and space, although maybe i was time and space. I kept shifting direction and position. I would be laying vertically, at an angle, sideways, up and down. Sensational.
I remember being stretched out into this infinitely long tunnel. I was in the tunnel, but I was also spread out, round the walls of the tunnel. Suddenly, the tunnel became infinitely long, as if I was being transported somewhere or going through it. Somehow the tunnel was also multi-dimensional – 8 dimensional? I wrote that down. Suddenly the tunnel snaps shut, into a completely flat circle. And I was in the circle, flat.
I remember dissolving away into paint, melting and spreading out across the floor. The paint spread out and started covering the walls of multi-dimensional spaces – like cubes and spheres and tunnels that were all folding round on themselves in multiple ways, impossible ways. I turned inside out and outside in, and I spread out and dissolved.
For awhile, we were hanging out watching the TV, watching New Zealand on TV. I told him I live in NZ now. Only we weren’t in NZ – we were somewhere else. Eternity? Canada? Floating in space? In between? We seemed to be everywhere and nowhere. It was bizarre. I said it was funny, watching video footage of NZ, while I lived in NZ, and my body was in NZ, but we were somewhere else, but we were also there in the room watching the video.
It looked so beautiful – NZ. What a beautiful place. The mountains and the valleys and the rivers and the plains multi-dimensionally coming out of the screen. The incredible depth of colour and texture. The ineffeable beauty of it all.
At some point, I turned into my brother. And I turned into a Mexican woman.
I had a discussion with my brother about how I was trying to fix myself, but that was just a cover to hang out with him. He said he would tell his side that he was helping fix me, although we were really just hanging out. After that with my eyes closed I turned into a builder on a ladder, a huge ladder, in space...or, somewhere, I don’t really know where I was. And pieces were being passed to me. My brother was a builder. I was my brother, my brother was me. I was fixing myself?
After this, I believe I ended in the vast clockwork room, which also seemed to be a giant, infinitely large spherical space or auditorium. In it I could see my mind, and I could see me on the ladder trying to fix myself. Except I was an observer floating around the space. I could see all these doors or windows in my brain, and there seemed to be images, books and papers flowing out of it and scattering everywhere (And back in? I’m not sure). My mind was being fixed? It was like I could see everything wrong with my brain. Except it wasn’t just my brain; the duality thing again. It was my brain, but it was also gaia / eternity / infinite love ( the same thing from the second trip). It seemed like I was getting close to it but not quite fully merging into it. And I was the brain and I was gaia and I was also out of body floating with a birds eye perspective.
After this, I was transported to the re-arranging clockwork big gear space, sort of like the moving staircases in Harry Potter. I dissolved apart into various pieces of clock work and machines, and the space took me apart, repaired pieces, replaced some, and then put me back together. The same, but different. Subsequently, I ended up in this enourmous, infinitely large room full of huge clockwork machine men (think like the clockwork men from Doctor Who only infiinitely large)
This sequence (the infinitely large spherical space, the clockwork big gear space and the room filled with clockwork machine men) is probably the second most incredible thing I've ever experienced in my life (only narrowly edged out by trip #2)
After this I entered the mexican place. It was quite strange – I’m not sure where the mexican comes from. It was ineffable and indescribable. All of these colours. Sort of like the colours on my blanket. Only, I was the colours. And I was the place. Then there were mountains, like the Mexican place, and me and my brother were building a ski lodge. There were these Mexican girls there. I felt heat. And red colour. I dissolved again into Nacho cheese. I feel like there is more to this part of it although I can’t remember. I believe that for an extended period I simply became light and was just drifting along (I have a sunrise alarm with a 1 hour sunrise and I seemed to dissolve into the light of that)
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2023.06.03 04:27 kitatsune Need advice on which apartment to choose
Ok, so I'm a first time renter, and at the moment I have 2 apartments in Cambridge that me and my roommate really like. My roommate is my sister, and she agreed to pay up to one third in rent costs.
Apartment A is in a 100+ year old building (in a safe and historic part of town) at $3400/month for 2 beds 1 bath, with heat and water, gas stove, at 900 sqft on the top floor. It is also less than <10 minute walk to Porter square, which is nice since I don't have a car. Downside is that my work commute would be longer by about 5-10 minutes. There is also shared coin-op laundry (2 sets of machines) for almost 20 units. Me and my roommate plan to wash 3 loads and dry one weekly (most of our clothes are line dry anyway). Costs almost $3 per load.
Apartment B is a luxury apartment for 1.5 bed 1 bath at $3600/month, with only trash utility covered at 800 sqft. It has in-unit laundry and better appliances and is also close to Alewife station (also <10 minutes). It also has additional building amenities, typical of a luxury apartment. My commute would also be shorter by a few minutes but is farther from a shopping center but nearby to Fresh Pond Mall. My roommate's room would also be smaller, since it is technically a 'den' and not a bedroom. Despite this, it can fit a queen size bed and dresser with some effort.
I already got approved for apartment A. I would still have to apply for apartment B, but it requires an application deposit. Both apartments are within my roommate's and I's combined income budget, but she prefers apartment A and I prefer apartment B.
Which is the better apartment to choose in this situation? I am also the one paying majority rent/signing the lease so I'm not really sure what to decide on. Is apartment A even worth it? Is apartment B worth it if I pay almost $200 more in rent each month? My monthly takehome pay alone is already 6k so does it really matter in the grand scheme of things?
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2023.06.03 04:24 DueJellyfish8097 Trip 4 - A Ride into Eternity
MEQ30 score: 130/150; second only to trip 2 which was 145/150.
Note that I seem to either be unusually sensitive to this stuff or I have a really psychoactive cactus
Setting
Trip 4 is set indoors, at my house in the central north island of NZ predominantly lying down on my futon in the living room, with the curtains close and blindfolded for the majority of the peak. The heat pump is on. During the trip I played nature videos on netflix (docos that feature nature scenery and places) with the sound off, and the music that was playing was a John Hopkins Psychedelic playlist, with some modifications (mainly I added ~2 hours of instrumental beatles music to cover the comeup period and about 30 minutes of Enya to the open of the peak). Music was playing on a Boom 3 speaker. I spend a large portion of the peak blindfolded with a t-shirt (although not entirely but I’d guess probably 3 out of 4 hours of the peak were closed eye.
The trip begins at night (initial dosing at 1am on Saturday May 27th). The trip duration is probably in total ~18 hours – 2 hours of comeup, peaking from 3AM to 7AM, the glow / comedown phase from 7AM to 5PM (was basically laying down most of this time, still getting gradually fading open and closed eye visuals). The sort of lights flickering at the edge of my vision and ear ringing that seems to signify the cactus fully letting me go occured around 5-6pm, after which I was able to start standing up and do a few tidy up tasks before bed. Still had that good feeling until 8pm when I drifted off to sleep.
Set
I spent the week prior to the trip (Monday to Friday) working out of town supporting emergency response work to some flooding events. Friday I drove back home arriving home around 4pm. I did some meditation and listened to relaxing music in the evening and also had some coffee to keep me up until I took the meditation. I also did some pre-trip journaling and thinking about intentions etc. Overally, probably the set was so-so – previous trips were partially preceded by week long holidays so my overall moodstate was good. I was probably slightly anxious and a little bit unsettled entering into the trip.
Flight Instructions
Essentially the classic flight instructions.
o If you see a door, open it and go through
o Trust the trajectory, follow your path
o Let go, be open, trust
o If you see a window, look through it
o If you see a demon, stand your ground and question it
o I am safe. Let go.
Preparation
I did the same tea making tec as last time, more or less. The piece of cactus was 260mm long and 90mm thick. I peeled the outer clear skin but did not remove any spines. I then cut the cactus into approx 1 inch thick pieces. A difference this time was that I separated the dark green outer skin, my theory being more surface area exposed to the water might increase extraction. I chopped all the pieces up finely into pieces, including the center and put it in the pot and added water. The first boiling lasted about 4 hours, because I added about 2 liters during the boiling process to keep it going. The second boil was a 2 hour straight boil of fresh water added to the cactus. I used a t-shirt to squeeze fluid out of the cactus pieces and a strainer to transfer the fluid through to try and get some of the gunk out. The final reduction was to boil the liquid down to about 1 cup.
The Trip
This part is a transcription mostly of notes I made during the trip. Another section will try and delve into the peak experience (what I can remember of it) although it is mostly ineffable.
12:10 AM
Working on the last te areduction now. Total boiling time will be about 6.5 hours I guess. I have set the TV up so that I can see it from where the futon is; my idea is to watch nature documentaries on mute with the music playlist plaing. I have found a black t-shirt to use as a blindfold as I plan to do a significantly more closed eye journey.
I am excited to see where the cactus takes me this time, and what I will learn about myself and the world.
I intend to change my habits. I intend to learn what she has to teach me. Kissing gaia.
I will let go and embrace the journey, and float downstream.
12:35 AM
Still doing the tea reduction. Soon! I am surprised I am not tired at this stage – I’m excited for the trip I guess 😊
12:57 AM
It begins. Final boil done. Down to one cup. I am letting it cool down.
May my journey be beautiful and may I find important lessons.
I intend to change my habits.
A re-write of the flight instructions:
If you see a door, open it and go through
If you see a window, look through it
Let go and float downstream
Let go, be open, trust the journey
Trust the trajectory, follow your path
1:01 AM
The first sip. Blech. Always tastes bitter and gross although it seems to taste worse this time. It tastes thicker and grosser than previous reductions.
1:11AM
10 minutes in. Have been sipping it slowly. Gross.
The best way out is through! I am watching Our Planet footage.
1:15 AM
Starting to feel a tingling sensation on the right side of head / brain. Stomach starting to feel rumbly and toss and turn. Feeling a mild tingling sensation in my body.
1:15 AM
Hi! Where will she take me? What will she show me? (Addendum / writers remark: Who am I saying hi to?)
1:17 AM
Starting to feel a bit ‘grounded’ in the present
1:23 AM
Lighting ringing sound and a subtle shift in noise perception. Time is slowing down. Becoming even more present in the moment.
Still sipping the tea
1:27 AM
Have one third of the tea lift. Took a big gulp. Feeling naseaus / like vomiting / queasy. Initial sensations of tingling have worn off.
Still watching Our Planet.
1:33 AM
Body high starting to kick in. Mainly in the head this time. Edge lights at the edge of my vision starting.
1:41 AM
I am letting go. Some extra colour / deeper texture already.
1:44 AM
Feeling queasy!! Happy! 😊
1:43 AM
Don’t worry. Time is stopping
1:47 AM
Talking faster when I am reading through my intentions
Feeling good
Perception shift in visual effects and sound, time slowing down.
1:50 AM
She says lay down.
Door is opening.
(There is a sketch of a smiling face and a sun shining on the smiling face, and a sketch of a 3 dimensional door that has opened and is shimmering. )
1:52 AM
Essentially done the tea. Extremely queasy and almost vomitted. There is maybe 1/15th of it left in the cup (sludgy solids) but i can’t bring myself to drink it.
1:54 AM
Enya playing now 😊
1:58 AM
Feel the love!
2:28 AM
Music! 😊 (There is a sketch of waves)
Music = Amazing. The notes.
2:00 AM
Mega queasy now
2:27 AM
Queasy still. Wanna vomit. Time is slowing. Extra perception. Deeper colour. Slower perception (everything is slowing down). I can hear every little movement and noise the heap pump makes. Lots of sound perception.
I feel good
Intense colour depth starting.
2:38
LOVE
TIME STOPPING
BEAUTY. COLOUR. ITS COMING 😊 😊 😊 LOVE. SOON. TIME IS DISSOLVING.
2:41 AM
Taihiti on TV. 3D and 4D. The colour is deep and incredible. It is coming out of the screen. Beautiful beyond words.
Change is cood!
Colour; the blue is bluer and deeper.
2:50 AM
We are all the same. Everybody is the same. Human
3:00 AM
(Have started mostly wearing the blindfold at this point although taking it off to pee / write)
Intense closed eye visuals. Coloroful triangles and patterns; seems like glass breaking apart in my vision. Shifting to the music.
There is a door that opens and a vast staircase through it. Going in
3:09 AM
Watching a video of NZ. Beautiful. Beautiful beyond words – NZ is beauty.
3:30 AM
3:10 to 3:30 – eyes closed. My brother was here – he is here. He reached out and hugged me, I felt it, and I hugged him. We watched the TV. He asked why Enya music? I said mom then we were back in Canada with mom.
3:37 AM
My brother is here. Just two bros hanging out watching TV. He hugged me again. We have a cover – I am doing this to change my life. But really I am just hanging out with my brother.
3:47 AM
More closed eye.
The roof was gone. The floor was gone. I seemed to be in space, or somewhere else. I was laying at different angles. Not sure where I was. More hugs from My brother is here. No one knows. They don’t kneed to know. Just us hanging out.
4:00 AM
I was in another dimension. I was in a long tunnel, stretched out, infinitely long, then the tunnel snapped back to completely flat circle with me in it.
I was folding round – 8 dimensionally and rotating round inside it.
All good. My brother still there. Multi dimensional ride with 2 bros.
I folded round multi dimensionally, I turned flat, I was spread out against walls. I turned into paint and dissolved. I was in Cochrane.
Changing habits – it’s all a cover to hang out with my brother. Shhhhhhhhh.
He says he’ll tell his side he is helping me change my habits.
But we are just hanging out. LOL.
4:10 AM
I folded round on myself. Folded up. I was vertical while laying down.
4:30 AM
I was in a clockwork mind room or auditorium / theater space that contained my mind. I could see my entire mind, floating in this room. But my mind was also Gaia / the infinite love from Trip 2. I had an out of body perspective – I could see myself, standing on a ladder next to mind, with wood and other things being passed to me from my brother. I was working on fixing it. But I was out of body (no me ?). I had a birds eye perspective of the entire thing; I could see my mind, and I could see verything that was wrong with it. I could see all these doors / windows in it, with papers and images flowing out of it and scattering everywhere.
After this, I was transported into this big gear rearranging clockwork space (sort of like, the moving staircases in Harry Potter but all gears and Clock work) with pieces rearranging. The pieces were me. I spread apart and moved apart into these gears and puzzle pieces, then it put me back together (writers note, one specific thing I remember was the leg that always limps when I get really depressed / suicidal being removed and replaced with a new one). The put me back together. Different. But togetehr.
Swirly thing. I went through this swirly portal (like the rotating swirl time travel portal in Austin Powers lol). Time travel. Space travel. Back in Canada. My brother was alive. I was my brother.
Paint – I kept dissolving into paint! All spread out.
5:00 AM
We were building a ski building. Then moved into this strange Mexican space.
Paint! I turned into paint! And Nacho cheese, I turned into Nacho Cheese! LMAO!
I was back in an enormous, infinitely large clockwork room, with huge infinitely large clockwork heads and clock work men. A clockwork mansion. All imitation – the boys. Clockwork?
Time frozen (5:20AM)
5:20 AM
Mexican ski girls
Lots of mexican stuff
I was a mexican girl
6:20 AM (Time not written down but believe this was around 6 – 6:20 AM
Did I get molested or abused somehow as a child? Is that what it showed me?
I asked out loud
It seems like the answer was yes, but I can’t find the door or kick the door in to find it
Mexican girls? Playing? Was that it?
WHAT THE FUCK (this is written in enormous letters across an entire page)
Later – maybe 8 – 9 AM:
Spent several hours looking for doors and windows trying to find it. Couldn’t find it, but eventually a name drew itself with my eyes closed, out of floating glowing balls, but I couldn’t quite read it and it wouldn’t fully form. Though I think I know the name.
Nothing written from 9AM to 8PM although essentially I was just laying on the futon in bliss. Ostensibly the end of the peak and the hours after it might be described as a 'bad trip' although mescaline seems to put a pretty cozy blanket of love and happiness around things.
8 PM
Long glide and come down. Hours of intense crying, cathartic, but stressed. Laying blasted out on the futon almost till sunset. Then was able to get up and move around more from around 4-5 PM. Sad but releaxing nad healing. Spent alot of time crying and cuddling the body pillow. It’s OK. Whatever it was wasn’t my fault, I didn’t deserve it or do anything wrong. I deserves to be loved and cared for. Can learn to love myself.
Peak
Early in the peak, with my eyes closed, one of the first closed eye visuals I had at the transition from the body high / comeup to the peak was of of all of these great triangle glass shards starting to crack and break apart. It was me, breaking apart.
Early in the peak, my brother arrived. I remember thinking about him, and then I felt him reaching out to hug me – I opened my arms and we hugged. I felt the hug. I can still feel the echo of it when I’m writing this. It felt like a real hug.
The roof disappeared, and the floor disappeared, and then I was floating somewhere, in time and space, although maybe i was time and space. I kept shifting direction and position. I would be laying vertically, at an angle, sideways, up and down. Sensational.
I remember being stretched out into this infinitely long tunnel. I was in the tunnel, but I was also spread out, round the walls of the tunnel. Suddenly, the tunnel became infinitely long, as if I was being transported somewhere or going through it. Somehow the tunnel was also multi-dimensional – 8 dimensional? I wrote that down. Suddenly the tunnel snaps shut, into a completely flat circle. And I was in the circle, flat.
I remember dissolving away into paint, melting and spreading out across the floor. The paint spread out and started covering the walls of multi-dimensional spaces – like cubes and spheres and tunnels that were all folding round on themselves in multiple ways, impossible ways. I turned inside out and outside in, and I spread out and dissolved.
For awhile, we were hanging out watching the TV, watching New Zealand on TV. I told him I live in NZ now. Only we weren’t in NZ – we were somewhere else. Eternity? Canada? Floating in space? In between? We seemed to be everywhere and nowhere. It was bizarre. I said it was funny, watching video footage of NZ, while I lived in NZ, and my body was in NZ, but we were somewhere else, but we were also there in the room watching the video.
It looked so beautiful – NZ. What a beautiful place. The mountains and the valleys and the rivers and the plains multi-dimensionally coming out of the screen. The incredible depth of colour and texture. The ineffeable beauty of it all.
At some point, I turned into my brother. And I turned into a Mexican woman.
I had a discussion with my brother about how I was trying to fix myself, but that was just a cover to hang out with him. He said he would tell his side that he was helping fix me, although we were really just hanging out. After that with my eyes closed I turned into a builder on a ladder, a huge ladder, in space...or, somewhere, I don’t really know where I was. And pieces were being passed to me. My brother was a builder. I was my brother, my brother was me. I was fixing myself?
After this, I believe I ended in the vast clockwork room, which also seemed to be a giant, infinitely large spherical space or auditorium. In it I could see my mind, and I could see me on the ladder trying to fix myself. Except I was an observer floating around the space. I could see all these doors or windows in my brain, and there seemed to be images, books and papers flowing out of it and scattering everywhere (And back in? I’m not sure). My mind was being fixed? It was like I could see everything wrong with my brain. Except it wasn’t just my brain; the duality thing again. It was my brain, but it was also gaia / eternity / infinite love ( the same thing from the second trip). It seemed like I was getting close to it but not quite fully merging into it. And I was the brain and I was gaia and I was also out of body floating with a birds eye perspective.
After this, I was transported to the re-arranging clockwork big gear space, sort of like the moving staircases in Harry Potter. I dissolved apart into various pieces of clock work and machines, and the space took me apart, repaired pieces, replaced some, and then put me back together. The same, but different. Subsequently, I ended up in this enourmous, infinitely large room full of huge clockwork machine men (think like the clockwork men from Doctor Who only infiinitely large)
This sequence (the infinitely large spherical space, the clockwork big gear space and the room filled with clockwork machine men) is probably the second most incredible thing I've ever experienced in my life (only narrowly edged out by trip #2)
After this I entered the mexican place. It was quite strange – I’m not sure where the mexican comes from. It was ineffable and indescribable. All of these colours. Sort of like the colours on my blanket. Only, I was the colours. And I was the place. Then there were mountains, like the Mexican place, and me and my brother were building a ski lodge. There were these Mexican girls there. I felt heat. And red colour. I dissolved again into Nacho cheese. I feel like there is more to this part of it although I can’t remember. I believe that for an extended period I always became light and was just drifting along (I have a sunrise alarm with a 1 hour sunrise and I seemed to dissolve into the light of that)
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2023.06.03 04:11 somejobautist How should I answer my interview questions, considering I have an awkward and specific situation?
6 months ago I worked for a short time at a somewhat upscale restaurant. It was the best job I've ever had in my life and I absolutely loved the environment there and the people I worked with aside from the problems I'm about to dig into here.
I ended up getting let go from this job-- I was a slow learner, and I got let go on performance. I loved my manager and he promised to give me a good review for whatever jobs I look at next, because he said he thought I was a good person. He is the kindest, most thoughtful manager I have ever worked for. When they were letting me go, I asked if I would be able to apply again, and he said yes in 6 months. He was also telling me how optimistic he was that things would work out.
Shortly after leaving the job, my car key went missing, which I have a hunch was due to my S.O.'s mother, but sadly we had no security cameras or proof, so we couldn't just have the cops go to the house looking for the key. Instead I spent a good 5 months unemployed, my S.O. saved up to get my car towed and keys made, all the while we were struggling financially and this all lead up to now- I now have a court date for overdue insurance in June and my license is suspended, and my S.O.'s car just got repoed TODAY!! Needless to say it's been a shitshow.
I absolutely loved the environment I was working in before, and I desperately need a job at the same time (obviously). Since I officially hit the 6 month mark on the 1st, I applied to the place again. I immediately got rejected from the location I worked at. I then applied to another location and got a call to interview tomorrow right after sending the application.
Should I hide the fact that I haven't worked since? On the resume I sent in I listed the establishment as the last place I'd worked, which showed it was 6 months ago, so I was honestly surprised they called.
Ever since getting the keys dealt with again, I technically did recently accept an offer at a place in a near management position which I left after a week of training because I was seeing some red flags that turned out to be PROVEN TRUE 🙃 Such as I still haven't been paid and it's been 3 pay periods now, even though I left, and legaladvice advised to to file a wage complaint.. so who knows what I would have endured there.
Should I mention that I got this position since the title may be impressive? Or is it best to shut my mouth that I had a job that I left that soon?
Now, inevitably they are going to ask me what happened the last time I was at the restaurant. Well, buckle in and get ready to hear a little workplace drama: I was a slow learner at first, i admit it. Once I got the hang of things, though, I REALLY got it, and it honestly was the easiest job in the world to me, and I LOVED doing it when everybody wasn't on my ass. Unfortunately, since I had prior frustrated my coworkers, it got to a point where even when I was doing light-years better, I would still have coworkers be on edge with me and always excessively checking to make sure I had things done, even after I had shown that I had my stuff down pat for a while now. 2 of the coworkers, the most on my ass ones, quit, and the manager assured me it wasn't because of me, but I feel that was a lie because I told them I don't work well under guilt or pressure. Basically I had a day where I broke down to my manager in the office, hysterical crying, telling him that I know how to do things now and that nobody's noticed, and he said that many did and many did not.
Once those 2 were out, I was left with the last coworker I'd be around regularly- and it was this girl who was bitter from being paid $1 less from the rest of us. I KNEW she was going to take this opportunity to be just as on my ass, if not more, than the last two, and honestly, I just didn't have the mental fortitude to deal with it. I don't do well for social games, I don't have the heart for it, and if someone is going to try to frame me for something, I have a bad habit of just letting it happen to get it over with. The girl was already snipping and it's been too long to remember specifics at that point, but I knew she was looking for any wrong thing I did to tell my manager. I wasn't planning on doing anything wrong and I wasn't doing anything wrong, but I had had enough, I felt genuinely just sad, heartbroken that this all had transpired and I didn't have the energy to play workplace drama games with this girl, it's genuinely just not something I like doing. I felt shattered, and terrible that my coworkers quit and it boiled down to the last underpaid girl who I actually liked LESS than the 2 who were most on my ass. Those two girls were actually good girls and I thought they had great allover personalities, I just wished they had cut me some slack once I got used to things. I really had a love-hate relationship with them. But prior to any of this happening, this same underpaid girl had made it known to coworkers that she was already upset with the job and bitter, she had an attitude about it and compared it to working at mcdonalds, but none of this was EVER within management's sight that I'm aware of. So they had no idea that this girl I was now left with has been moping around bitter and not taking this job seriously and always ready to quit and be mad at anything they ask her to do due to her pay for a while now. Thats why I lost my ability to play this game so quickly-- she was very visibly eager to try to dimish my every effort from the jump once the two coworkers left and she felt she had me all to herself and had leverage now, and could easily outsmart and outbeat me. I don't even remember what it was, but I snapped and told her I had covid (I didn't), because I knew she would freak out and ask not to be scheduled with me. I was suspended for 3 days because I caused such an upset with the covid comment and then returned to work. I figured once I said that I'd get in trouble but then it would blow over, and I was hoping they wouldn't schedule me with her any more, since they had just brought in a guy from another department to what my position was and he was REALLY good and I absolutely loved working with and learning from him. So after my 3 days, I go in for my next scheduled shift and I see I'm working with her again, even though I had sent a hotschedule message asking to be scheduled with the guy. Which my manager said was fine, but I couldn't do anything about the already posted next 2 weeks on the schedule, it just isn't a workplace where they will alter it. So once I see her I decided to whip out all of my work in the first hour, and I DID. I went complete horsepower mode and knocked out my whole shifts of work in the first hour, and went and laid down in the back for a second. I knew I may get in trouble for laying down, but I just wanted it to be over. I was exhausted as I had been up all night because a manipulative family member had an episode for the first time in a long time of not having one, waking me up when I needed to sleep for my shift. So when I knocked out all of my work in that one hour, I gave her NO room to talk to me. She was very obviously upset that I wasn't consulting her every 2 seconds and I didn't want to deal with this- it had me kicking my ass into gear to complete all that work so hard, but I knew this was the last time I could deal with this. I broke. So I decided to kind of ask for trouble a second time, after the whole lying about covid ordeal, and kind of laid down in the back.. somewhat on purpose, and somewhat because I was actually tired, because I knew this may be thr last straw where I get fired, and I just wanted it to all be done and over with, I was so sad, I just didn't want to have to work in such a degrading way like this where I am forever indebted to everyone and I have to prove my worth at 100X speed and be the picture perfect worker there, when I was already doing GOOD at that point. Alas, that was the last straw and it was over. And to be fair, just being a slow learner wasn't my only problem. Okay, I'm just going to be honest now. I learned at a decent pace, but my two ACTUAL biggest mistakes were that 1.) I have chronic pain and didn't disclose when I interviewed that I need to be home at a certain time in the evening (9/930 latest) to take a medication that impairs my driving, else I have trouble walking and it really slows me down. 2.) I projected my OCD onto the company and purposely overlapped the floors, making them think I was just a slow learner 😬😬 I did this with employee bathrooms as well. I also sprayed down spots of the employee bathrooms we weren't expected to spray down and was in fact told at first that we're NOT supposed to clean those parts, which gave me the ick and I would secretly spray those parts because they would be common/basic parts. Come to find out later that new guy said that's actually how we WERE supposed to do it.. anyways, at the end of the day during bathroom duties I wouod already be slowing down due to my pain to begin with since my medication wasn't getting into my body at the appropriate time, and on top of THAT, my slowing down was even worse because I was sneakily cleaning these parts of the bathroom that everyone would scold you for cleaning because it took too much time. So therenow you know the truth, i was contemplating just baring it all, so there it is. How in HEAVENS am I to explain this tomorrow? Since the manager said he would give me a good reference anywhere, should I assume he is also going to do that for me to the same restaurant of another location nearby? I am scared of putting my foot in my mouth, because what if I TL;DR the truth for them or tell them that I was bad, only for the manager to say I was great, and then it looks weird and I don't get hired, or, what if I lie and tell them I was great but the manager tells THIS place the truth, since it is the same chain? Basically what if his offer to give me a good reference only extends to external places unassociated with the company? Since I was rejected IMMEDIATELY after sending the resume into my prior location, I worry that the restaurant may hear the entire lowdown on what's happened. How should I navigate this? Another thing is now that the one car is suspended and one is repoed as of today, my S.O. and I are living with a relative, so that relative has to drive us around, so I'd have to leave around 4:30-5pm until he can get the car back, or until I pay my insurance AND get the okay from the state that I am officially unsuspended, because he needs toe dropped off at work around 6-630, he works graveyard. Basically the relative would have to drop me off to work, come and get me with him when I'm off my shift, and drop him off (I doubt she would let him use the car alone). Unless I'm thinking about this wrong, which I admit, my mind is currently overflooded and overwhelmed with what to do.
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2023.06.03 04:09 somejobautist How should I answer my interview questions, considering I have an awkward and specific situation?
6 months ago I worked for a short time at a somewhat upscale restaurant. It was the best job I've ever had in my life and I absolutely loved the environment there and the people I worked with aside from the problems I'm about to dig into here.
I ended up getting let go from this job-- I was a slow learner, and I got let go on performance. I loved my manager and he promised to give me a good review for whatever jobs I look at next, because he said he thought I was a good person. He is the kindest, most thoughtful manager I have ever worked for. When they were letting me go, I asked if I would be able to apply again, and he said yes in 6 months. He was also telling me how optimistic he was that things would work out.
Shortly after leaving the job, my car key went missing, which I have a hunch was due to my S.O.'s mother, but sadly we had no security cameras or proof, so we couldn't just have the cops go to the house looking for the key. Instead I spent a good 5 months unemployed, my S.O. saved up to get my car towed and keys made, all the while we were struggling financially and this all lead up to now- I now have a court date for overdue insurance in June and my license is suspended, and my S.O.'s car just got repoed TODAY!! Needless to say it's been a shitshow.
I absolutely loved the environment I was working in before, and I desperately need a job at the same time (obviously). Since I officially hit the 6 month mark on the 1st, I applied to the place again. I immediately got rejected from the location I worked at. I then applied to another location and got a call to interview tomorrow right after sending the application.
Should I hide the fact that I haven't worked since? On the resume I sent in I listed the establishment as the last place I'd worked, which showed it was 6 months ago, so I was honestly surprised they called.
Ever since getting the keys dealt with again, I technically did recently accept an offer at a place in a near management position which I left after a week of training because I was seeing some red flags that turned out to be PROVEN TRUE 🙃 Such as I still haven't been paid and it's been 3 pay periods now, even though I left, and legaladvice advised to to file a wage complaint.. so who knows what I would have endured there.
Should I mention that I got this position since the title may be impressive? Or is it best to shut my mouth that I had a job that I left that soon?
Now, inevitably they are going to ask me what happened the last time I was at the restaurant. Well, buckle in and get ready to hear a little workplace drama: I was a slow learner at first, i admit it. Once I got the hang of things, though, I REALLY got it, and it honestly was the easiest job in the world to me, and I LOVED doing it when everybody wasn't on my ass. Unfortunately, since I had prior frustrated my coworkers, it got to a point where even when I was doing light-years better, I would still have coworkers be on edge with me and always excessively checking to make sure I had things done, even after I had shown that I had my stuff down pat for a while now. 2 of the coworkers, the most on my ass ones, quit, and the manager assured me it wasn't because of me, but I feel that was a lie because I told them I don't work well under guilt or pressure. Basically I had a day where I broke down to my manager in the office, hysterical crying, telling him that I know how to do things now and that nobody's noticed, and he said that many did and many did not.
Once those 2 were out, I was left with the last coworker I'd be around regularly- and it was this girl who was bitter from being paid $1 less from the rest of us. I KNEW she was going to take this opportunity to be just as on my ass, if not more, than the last two, and honestly, I just didn't have the mental fortitude to deal with it. I don't do well for social games, I don't have the heart for it, and if someone is going to try to frame me for something, I have a bad habit of just letting it happen to get it over with. The girl was already snipping and it's been too long to remember specifics at that point, but I knew she was looking for any wrong thing I did to tell my manager. I wasn't planning on doing anything wrong and I wasn't doing anything wrong, but I had had enough, I felt genuinely just sad, heartbroken that this all had transpired and I didn't have the energy to play workplace drama games with this girl, it's genuinely just not something I like doing. I felt shattered, and terrible that my coworkers quit and it boiled down to the last underpaid girl who I actually liked LESS than the 2 who were most on my ass. Those two girls were actually good girls and I thought they had great allover personalities, I just wished they had cut me some slack once I got used to things. I really had a love-hate relationship with them. But prior to any of this happening, this same underpaid girl had made it known to coworkers that she was already upset with the job and bitter, she had an attitude about it and compared it to working at mcdonalds, but none of this was EVER within management's sight that I'm aware of. So they had no idea that this girl I was now left with has been moping around bitter and not taking this job seriously and always ready to quit and be mad at anything they ask her to do due to her pay for a while now. Thats why I lost my ability to play this game so quickly-- she was very visibly eager to try to dimish my every effort from the jump once the two coworkers left and she felt she had me all to herself and had leverage now, and could easily outsmart and outbeat me. I don't even remember what it was, but I snapped and told her I had covid (I didn't), because I knew she would freak out and ask not to be scheduled with me. I was suspended for 3 days because I caused such an upset with the covid comment and then returned to work. I figured once I said that I'd get in trouble but then it would blow over, and I was hoping they wouldn't schedule me with her any more, since they had just brought in a guy from another department to what my position was and he was REALLY good and I absolutely loved working with and learning from him. So after my 3 days, I go in for my next scheduled shift and I see I'm working with her again, even though I had sent a hotschedule message asking to be scheduled with the guy. Which my manager said was fine, but I couldn't do anything about the already posted next 2 weeks on the schedule, it just isn't a workplace where they will alter it. So once I see her I decided to whip out all of my work in the first hour, and I DID. I went complete horsepower mode and knocked out my whole shifts of work in the first hour, and went and laid down in the back for a second. I knew I may get in trouble for laying down, but I just wanted it to be over. I was exhausted as I had been up all night because a manipulative family member had an episode for the first time in a long time of not having one, waking me up when I needed to sleep for my shift. So when I knocked out all of my work in that one hour, I gave her NO room to talk to me. She was very obviously upset that I wasn't consulting her every 2 seconds and I didn't want to deal with this- it had me kicking my ass into gear to complete all that work so hard, but I knew this was the last time I could deal with this. I broke. So I decided to kind of ask for trouble a second time, after the whole lying about covid ordeal, and kind of laid down in the back.. somewhat on purpose, and somewhat because I was actually tired, because I knew this may be thr last straw where I get fired, and I just wanted it to all be done and over with, I was so sad, I just didn't want to have to work in such a degrading way like this where I am forever indebted to everyone and I have to prove my worth at 100X speed and be the picture perfect worker there, when I was already doing GOOD at that point. Alas, that was the last straw and it was over. And to be fair, just being a slow learner wasn't my only problem. Okay, I'm just going to be honest now. I learned at a decent pace, but my two ACTUAL biggest mistakes were that 1.) I have chronic pain and didn't disclose when I interviewed that I need to be home at a certain time in the evening (9/930 latest) to take a medication that impairs my driving, else I have trouble walking and it really slows me down. 2.) I projected my OCD onto the company and purposely overlapped the floors, making them think I was just a slow learner 😬😬 I did this with employee bathrooms as well. I also sprayed down spots of the employee bathrooms we weren't expected to spray down and was in fact told at first that we're NOT supposed to clean those parts, which gave me the ick and I would secretly spray those parts because they would be common/basic parts. Come to find out later that new guy said that's actually how we WERE supposed to do it.. anyways, at the end of the day during bathroom duties I wouod already be slowing down due to my pain to begin with since my medication wasn't getting into my body at the appropriate time, and on top of THAT, my slowing down was even worse because I was sneakily cleaning these parts of the bathroom that everyone would scold you for cleaning because it took too much time. So therenow you know the truth, i was contemplating just baring it all, so there it is. How in HEAVENS am I to explain this tomorrow? Since the manager said he would give me a good reference anywhere, should I assume he is also going to do that for me to the same restaurant of another location nearby? I am scared of putting my foot in my mouth, because what if I TL;DR the truth for them or tell them that I was bad, only for the manager to say I was great, and then it looks weird and I don't get hired, or, what if I lie and tell them I was great but the manager tells THIS place the truth, since it is the same chain? Basically what if his offer to give me a good reference only extends to external places unassociated with the company? Since I was rejected IMMEDIATELY after sending the resume into my prior location, I worry that the restaurant may hear the entire lowdown on what's happened. How should I navigate this? Another thing is now that the one car is suspended and one is repoed as of today, my S.O. and I are living with a relative, so that relative has to drive us around, so I'd have to leave around 4:30-5pm until he can get the car back, or until I pay my insurance AND get the okay from the state that I am officially unsuspended, because he needs toe dropped off at work around 6-630, he works graveyard. Basically the relative would have to drop me off to work, come and get me with him when I'm off my shift, and drop him off (I doubt she would let him use the car alone). Unless I'm thinking about this wrong, which I admit, my mind is currently overflooded and overwhelmed with what to do.
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OfficeSpeak [link] [comments]
2023.06.03 03:46 Malice_Qahwah Scurrying Darkness (Oneshot, gory, horror)
****WARNING****
***
Body Horror, bugs, death, gore. Attempted horror.
By my own standards, this is fairly tame, your mileage may vary, content advisory.
***
Captain Van’tu, the Garaboosian commander of the Alliance of Free Stars light scout cruiser Mandrake, frowned, in the way of his species, and gestured with a lower lefthand at his human science officer to continue.
The woman turned back to her console, to peer into the hood of her ‘scope and minutely adjust a control.
“The ship is an old Terran Alliance Explorer class, the TAN Nebula Star. She was reported overdue for resupply a little over a hundred years ago, exact details are spotty as the station she was supposed to report to was destroyed in the Terran civil war. By modern standards she was little more than a heavy cruiser with an oversized jumpcore, and limited weaponry. The Terran Alliance Navy was very much focused on exploration and first contact, and several of their vessels vanished without trace only to show up decades later in pirate hands. However, this does not seem to be the case with the Nebula Star…”
The image on the holotable was mute testimony to this information. The old starship, much more massive than the Mandrake, but significantly less well equipped, looked derelict. Several holes gaped in her once-pristene white hull, the smooth lines marred and crooked, and the jumpcore bulb near the stern showed a terrible, blasted crater, black with soot and melted steel.
Captain Van’tu scrolled the smooth wheel of the holo controls, swivelling the image and zooming into the damage.
“What do we think of this, Sasha, that looks like an internal explosion, not battle damage.”
“Yes Captain.” Sasha, the science officer, agreed. She manipulated a pad on her side of the console. Several sidebars lit up. “Here, here and here. Chemical signatures we’ve picked up in the dustcloud around the wreck, and the blast pattern, indicates a high yield chemical explosive was utilised, we would need to get a scan from inside the wreckage to be certain, but I think I can confidently say this was caused by a c4 package commonly kept as part of ship inventories of that era. We carry a similar type of explosive even now, it has uses in a number of emergency protocols.”
The captain nodded. “I’m familiar with Human paranoia, ‘better to have and not need than need and not have’, which is why I learned to carry a backpack heavier than myself at the academy.” He smiled at the woman, who grinned back in that wolfish human fashion.
Commanding a Terran vessel as part of the Alliance Navy was a high honour for a non-Terran, and he’d earned it the hard way, he’d actually completed his officer training on Earth itself, heavy gravity, lethal flora, fauna, and practical jokes be damned, he’d always dreamed of command, and he had never planned to settle for anything less than the best ships of the fleet.
Somehow his determination to ‘make it’ had actually impressed his trainers and teachers, and earned him the interest of a senior Admiral, which explained his current command. And he was no ticket-puncher, his crew was, in his opinion, the best in the fleet, and if his ship was small, he was so proud of her, some days he could almost burst his hearts from it. She was his first, and with luck, not his last, and while scouting duty following pre-war exploration routes was far from glamorous, it was essential work for the Alliance, following up first contacts, reopening lost trade routes, and, now and then, coming across relics, and giving closure to the descendants of those vanished vessels.
“Alright. She looks cold, and her reactor is dead, but we don’t know what happened to her, she could have run afoul of pirates, or been captured and misused for decades, or been left boobytrapped, so pack up a SAR shuttle, and give them a leader drone, they don’t enter unless the drone clears the way in.”
“Aye aye Captain, I’ll get them on their way. Sidearms?”
“Yyy…esss. Yes. And overarmour. If someone’s left any surprises, it will help.”
Sasha turned and walked off, already tapping her communicator to summon the personnel she’d be sending.
He frowned again, looking into the depths of the hologram. Something was bothering him, the same sensation he’d felt while visiting a zoo on Earth. Humans around him grinning, nodding to one another, and the confirmation of his worry came as a boom of hundreds of pounds of apex feline carnivore crashing against the high density crystal he’d been standing with his back to…
Something was creeping up on them, he could feel it.
***
The shuttle launched from the brightly lit boatbay of the Mandrake, arcing smoothly through the glittering blackness towards the cruelly murdered starship. In front of it zipped the mote of the drone, its scanners and sensors slaved to the shuttle, giving the drone specialist on board an instant feed to all his senses, feeling, experiencing everything the drone saw.
It zipped around the gaping hole where the jumpdrive had once been housed, then around in a helical pattern, scanning every micron of the lost ships hull, mapping it in complete three dimensional perfection, then tracking towards the boatbay. Inside, two, much older, versions of the Mandrakes shuttle rested, crooked against their davits, the bay airlock doors lying open.
The drone slowly crept inside the dark corridor as the shuttle followed it in, nestling into an empty davit. Power hookups, identical after a century thanks to long ago agreed standardisation, marry up, pogo pins compressed and energized, drawing trickle power from the shuttle to latch securely.
The crew debark, except the probe operator who remained strapped in his jumpseat, guiding the drone deeper into the derelict.
Suited figures follow its path, jumping from the shuttle hatch to the airlock. They don’t bother trying to seal it, it had been lying open for a century, there was no air left within to preserve. The drone met a cross passage, and moved right, headed towards the bridge, following schematics downloaded from Mandrake’s computer. The scout crew followed, alert, and making note of damage to bulkheads, the carpets that once covered the floors looking torn, dark stains telling a worrying story.
The probe entered the bridge of the Nebula Star and paused. The LIDAR scanner illuminated the space in a slow pass of green laser light, left to right and back again. The chamber was empty, save the various consoles and chairs the crew would have used, and the lone figure of the Captain, in his central command chair.
To Captain Van’tu, observing the time delayed remote feed on his own bridge, it was remarkable just how similar the darkened derelict wreck was to his own vessel, down to the arrangement of bridge consoles and type of carpeting used. He’d read, in one of his intro to ship design classes, that Terran bridge layout owed much to speculative fiction of pre-spaceflight eras, and a lot of experimental wet-navy designs.
He'd brought it up once with his chief of engineering, who had responded with a ridiculous approximation of a Scottish accent, “Aye laddie, we Terrans owe an awfy lot tae an auld lass called the Enterprise!” and laughed, continuing his explanation in his more natural German accented standardised Terran. Van’tu had spent several informative evenings with his console, soaking up ancient Terran entertainment as a result.
The drone circled the bridge, slowly, keeping its thruster exhaust well clear of the mummified body in the central chair, making its way to the science console. A small arm popped out and slotted into the consoles data port.
Several lights flickered on the antique panel, the probe powering up the cold circuits to read the datalogs, then around the room, dim red lights came to life, as more of the bridge woke up. Through the hull itself, a faint whine transmitted, the probes oversized fusion battery providing enough current to trigger the startup of a backup generator below the bridge.
The scouting party stepped in, peering around. One, her grey skinsuit marked with a red stripe down the arms, moves across to the captain, a medical scanner in her hand.
“I’m reading significant trauma throughout the corpse, but remarkable preservation as well. Life support must have been glitching badly for a long time after… Wait…” She smacked the side of the scanner, then passed it back across the corpse. “Scanner keeps picking up my own heartbeat, trying to tell me this guys still alive, fucking thing.” She put it away in the side pocket of her suit and pulled out a smaller device. “I kept my old one, should be good enough to… Fuck me sideways…”
“Maybe later Carol, what’s the script?” A green stripe on the party leader’s arm. He was looking around, feeling… itchy, between his shoulder blades. Something wasn’t right, and not just the dead ship. He’d been lead on two other derelict searches, and they never went like this. Accidents happened, people died, usually horribly, and you always found, well, bodies. Whole or otherwise. Yet, aside from the clearly traumatic bloodstains on the floors, soaked long before the artificial gravity had failed, this ship hadn’t shown them a single body, nothing, not even fragments.
Not only that but he could swear he’d seen movements. No-one else had, but he also knew that his reflexes tested significantly higher than average, he was seeing something the others were simply not noticing.
Carol stepped away from the corpse.
“My old scanner says this guy’s alive Mark. Heartbeat, brain activity, oxygenated blood. He’s not breathing and he’s a fucking corpse, but both my scanners say he’s gooey in the middle. And I’ll be honest I don’t want to be here, send probes back across on AI control and let them explore, this is too freaky. I know you’ve been seeing shit, well, I’ve been picking up weirdness all along, and this is too much. We should leave!”
Mark bit back a curse. He agreed, but he was also supposed to be a professional, and as the leader of the scout team who first boarded the derelict, he’d have been slated for command of the ‘prize crew’ to bring her home. At the same time, he was holding back a growing uneasiness, his other two team members were shuffling nervously, and Carol was on the edge of panic.
“Alright, we head back to the shuttle and leave the probe to grab the logs. Something’s weird here, might be the atmosphere on this thing, I admit it’s spooky, but we all know I see weird bugs and things other folk miss, and Carol, you’ve had that personal scanner since high school, if it’s saying something weird, something weird is going on. If Captain… Morrison, is still alive after a century in vacuum, he can keep a few more hours until the AI probes can collect him. We’re not equipped for medical evac anyway.”
They stepped back through the hatchway, leaving the probe to its work. Emergency lighting flickered into life, adding a lurid red glare to the tableaux, Mark, last to leave, sharply snapping his head back around as something… He was reminded of a time as a child, he’d turned over a log in his parents’ yard, and hundreds of inch-long centipedes had scurried in panicked circles to escape the sudden glare of sunlight.
Nothing moved, aside from the slow pulsing of rebooting computers.
He followed his people towards the shuttle.
One by one, they made the leap back to the shuttle davit, and boarded, cycling back aboard, and taking their seats. The drone pilot barely moved to acknowledge them, clearly lost in the datefeed from the old computers, and aside from a quick glance across readouts to ensure the data was flowing cleanly to the Mandrake, Mark didn’t disturb the man.
He hit the switch to release the davit clamps, and the popped free. The shuttle turned, and smoothly glided out, aligning with the mothership and headed home. He blinked and shook his head. That motion again, out the corner of his eye. He glanced over, seeing the drone pilot’s faceplate swarming with legs for a fraction of a second.
“Uhh, Josh, you alright there?” He hated breaking into drone pilot concentration, but this wasn’t right, and Carol was gesturing desperately at him from her chair. He reached across, and nudged Josh’s shoulder, the skinsuit collapsing under his fingers and the skull clacking loosely against the faceplate.
***
Captain Van’tu listened to the soft report coming from Sasha, the scout crew had found the captain of the derelict but were returning early due to some unsettling information they’d found. He didn’t like it, but he also respected human instincts. If skilled officers felt there was a reason to withdraw before mission completion, he knew better than to override the human-on-the-spot.
He’d have a word with Mark later, in private, if necessary, but the man had never been wrong before.
Across the communicator, there was a sudden eruption of yelling, the shuttle on the holo spiralling wildly. Sasha was demanding a clear response from the screaming communicator.
Mark came over the channel. “Abort mission, contamination, alien threat…” His words ended in a gurgling scream, the kind that began high and ended, eventually, in a growling snarl of mortal agony. The line remained open, however, and the entire bridge crew turned to stare, mouths agape, as into the silence the faint sounds of gnawing began to echo.
Sasha shut off the feed with a shaky finger. “Captain, I…”
“I know. Arm several probes, get them to the shuttle, find out what happened and…”
Once more, attention fell to the holo display, as on it, the icon of the shuttle winked red. Sasha motioned, and the focus zoomed in. Where the shuttle had been, a spreading scatter of debris remained.
She pulled up the sidebars again.
“Right before Mark, uh, died, his authorisation codes were used to trigger an overload on the shuttle reactor. We didn’t pick up the feed in real time, they were returning after all, but all of them suffered catastrophic biological distress immediately before their lifesigns cut out. Mark was the last one alive, and severely injured when he triggered the reactor.”
Captain Van’tu shook out his lower hands with a stress-shedding gesture. “The shuttle reactor is in a sealed compartment. He had to get from his chair to the access panel and enter his code, while suffering life threatening injuries which had already killed the rest of his crew?”
“Yes, Captain. I’m sorry, I missed it, my team is still processing the data, but it looks as if the drone pilot ceased responding several minutes before the shuttle departed the wreck. At five minutes into the flight, the three junior officers began exhibiting distress, but gave no verbal alerts. Mark seems to have reacted to something that triggered a fight or flight response, but within a few seconds was exhibiting the same injury markers as the others. At the six-minute mark, he sent his warning, while moving. It appears as if the cessation of his vocalisations was not the end of his life, almost thirty seconds later his code was entered into the shuttle reactor, and it detonated.”
Captain Van’tu moved to his command chair, and sat down, lower hands grasping the armrests, upper hands folding under his chin. “Helm, chart course back to the nearest Alliance outpost, and warm up the jumpcore. Tactical, bring shields to standby and start charging the grasers, I don’t like what’s happening, and I do not want to be caught with our backs turned.”
His crew moved into action, tactical alerts bringing various stations to readiness.
“Sir! We’re receiving a communications request, uh, from the Nebula Star.”
He stared at his communications officer, who looked equally shocked.
“Please, Jen, put them through to the main holo.”
The hovering image of the wreckage that had once been a shuttle vanished, replaced by the familiastrange image of the old bridge, and its captain.
The man was a corpse, there was no debate. The papery skin had pulled back from his eyes and teeth, his nose collapsed inwards, decades of icy coldness and baking heat as the derelict tumbled slowly from shade to sunlight had freeze dried the body, yet, it moved. The jaw flapped open, and the sticklike arms gestured against the command chair arms, clawed fingertips clicking uselessly.
“Gree. Tings. Un. Known. Vess. Sell. I. Am. Cap. Tan. Morr. Iss. Son. We. Come. In. Peace.”
The corpse in the holo quivered and twitched in some horrible mockery of life, the bared grey teeth clicking as the jaw spasmed open and closed, not, Van’tu noted, in time with the words being spoken. Inside the jaws, he also noticed, something black and shiny and segmented.
“I highly doubt you come with any sort of peace in mind, what are you really, and what did you do to the crew of the shuttle who boarded the ship you are on.”
The body twitched, a trickle of black ooze popping free from the corner of the sunken eye socket. Under the dried up eyelid, something squirmed around, curling with segmented motion, a few pointed claws poking briefly free before vanishing once more.
“I. Am. Cap. Tan. Morr. Iss. Son. We. Come. In. Peace. We. Rek. Wire. Ass. Iss. Tan. Sse. Let. Uss. Board.”
An alert flashed from Sashas direction. A gesture diminished Captain Morrison to a corner of the holo and expanded the view of the derelict. Two shuttles of archaic design had just launched from it and begun making their way towards the Mandrake. He muted his pickup and turned to his tactical officer.
“Jeff? They do not get close enough to board.”
“Aye aye sir, tracking has them locked and my grazers are charged.”
“Very good.”
He returned to the holo and reopened the grisly view of the dead man being puppeted on his display.
“You will not be permitted to board my ship. I demand to know who you are, what you represent, and why you are trying to impersonate Captain Morrison.”
“You. Are. Food. You. Have. Use. Full. Tech. Nol. Ogy. We. Will. Take. It. We. Will. Use. You. We. Will. Mul. Tip. Lie. This. Vess. Hell. Came. To. Us. In. Peace. We. Took. It. We. Came. For. Ter. Rah. We. Became. Trapped. We Became. Lethargic. We have waited. Now you have brought us. A new vessel to carry us. To Terra.”
Captain Van’tu shook his head. If these things were familiar with humans, they’d recognise the gesture. For the sake of understanding he’d long ago learned to at least emulate some human body language.
“You will not be allowed to go any further. I have a duty to safeguard the people under my command, and to the people of… Terra.” Whatever this species was, it was not something he wanted anywhere near a colony or, worse, defenceless homeworld, of any of the Allied or friendly species he knew lay between here and Terra herself. Best for all they only had Terra in mind.
“Sir! The incoming shuttles are not going for docking, they’re on a ramming approach! Firing solution lost on bogey one!” The Mandrakes grazers were firing, gunnery crews managing their weapons as they tracked automatically and fired, spearing one of the wildly corkscrewing shuttles with lances of gravitationally focused gamma radiation. The second shuttle however spun, and fell downwards, smashing into the still warming shields, and through, impacting the Mandrakes hull with tremendous speed.
The scouting vessel shuddered. The shuttle had breached through the outer hull and spilled into a mess area.
Thanks to the alert condition, all crew had been in skinsuits, not that this helped the two cooks who had been finishing off the lockdown of the mess kitchen.
Fresh alerts sounded, the sound of which sent crewpeople to arms lockers. Mandrake had been boarded.
Captain Van’tu pointed to his tactical officer. “Destroy that wreck! vaporise it!”
“Sir! Weapons are offline, on-mount crews are reporting power losses.”
Across the bridge, the communications officer looked up. “Reports coming in, boarders are breaking out of mess two!”
The captain snarled. Ancient Garaboosians had warded off predators with that sound, and his teeth bared in an animalistic threat display. He slammed a finger into the appropriate button on his armrest.
“All hands, all hands, defence stations, repel boarders!”
His head snapped around. “Sasha, do we still have telemetry from the drone on the Nebula? If so, I want it to shut that shitheap down, or overload its reactors!”
His science officer acknowledged with an “Aye captain!” and turned to her console.
He returned to his holo. Removed the mute. “You have attacked an Alliance of Free Stars vessel, while using a Terran Alliance vessel reported lost to causes unknown. I am hereby declaring you to be pirates, and you will be treated accordingly. Surrender now and you will be returned to your government or homeworld after serving a prison term to be determined by Admiralty courts.”
He did not expect the thing pretending to be Captain Morrison to surrender.
“There will be no surrender. We will take all you have and all you are. You will be ours to consume and use.”
His tactical alert flashed, somehow, the older ship was charging its weapons systems. He flicked a gesture, and the old vessels appeared, with sidebars. The weapons were underpowered, and normally not really a threat to a modern vessel, but the Mandrake had just been rammed by a shuttle, cutting power to her own weapons, and disrupting her shields, it would take several more minutes to regenerate them.
He glared at the grinning visage of the corpse which was still mimicking life. The left arm was still quivering against the rest, fingertips drumming against a keypad almost identical to his own. From the bottom of the sunken belly of the dead man, a slowly undulating shape crawled, a thick-pincered head, followed by a segmented body flowing with sharp-tipped clawlike legs. It moved upwards and climbed back in through Morrisons throat.
“Captain, boarders have been destroyed. Sir, they were humans, but they were dead. Like mummies. They had some kinds of bugs inside, we had to go in with plasma to clear them out.”
“I see. Ensure all the bulkhead seals around the messhall compartment are still green, and pull everyone back, full medical scans on exit. Once everyone is clear, blow the compartment.”
“Uh, yes, sir, understood. Engineering teams are saying they’ll have full weapons restored in eight minutes.”
“Good. We can’t allow any of these things to get back to inhabited space. I want that wreck vaporised. Mess compartment too.”
He continued to watch the dead mans fingers rattle against the old command chair. And nodded.
“Captain Morrison, it has been an honour. Captain Van’Tu, out.”
In the holo, the corpse finally went still. The creatures which had inhabited him began to swarm, black blood and ichor bursting from his skull as the mother of the monsters which had ridden his body and his ship since they had tricked their way aboard a century before, burst free from her manipulating, feeding grasp in his skull.
“Captain, the drone has fully copied the Nebula Stars database, but is unable to access any critical systems. I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay Sasha. When we have weapons available, we’ll finish whatever is left.”
“Sir? I don’t understand what…”
The holo tank cut her off. The Nebula Star had fired its engines, angling towards an intercept with the Mandrake, it needed to be much closer to engage with its much more primitive weapons. As the engines flared to life, fire blossomed across the aft hull. Multiple explosions rippled through it, billowing outwards from within, as the reawakened fusion reactors, initially stirred to life by the probes batteries, then by crawling undead crew hidden in the ships dead spaces, all overloaded, and detonated in a final orgy of self-annihilation.
There was a shudder again, as the Mandrakes crew activated the emergency charges that blew an entire section of the ship into space, carrying with it the bodies of dozens of the Nebula Stars crew, hundreds of incinerated and still crawling parasitic alien monsters, and the corpses of two unfortunate cooks.
“Begin sweeping everything in range with fire, maximum power and aperture, everything must burn. I want medical and bio survey teams going around the clock scanning for any trace of those things that might have breached containment. For the record, I will be recommending the Mandrake be scuttled once all crew are cleared and disembarked. Needless to say, we will not be making any landfall or station docks before then.”
He sat down in his command chair. He couldn’t remember standing up. He stared down at his armrest, and the keypad on it. With the fingers of his bottom left hand, he began typing, sending the results to the main holo where Sasha watched, curious.
ENMY HMWRLD r41429.135 i334451 b-1.791 KILL BURN QURTN
The rest of the sequence was the override code that would trigger the Nebula Star to overload its powerplants and blow itself to pieces before it could be used against its creators.
“Captain? How did you get that message? The log entries are still being processed, but it doesn’t look like anything coherent survived, there’s no co-ordinates in them.” Sasha was confused, and Captain Van’Tu smiled.
“Humans, you’re all the same when it comes down to the wire. Mark blew his shuttle rather than let it dock with those things on board. Even while they ate him alive, he crawled through his command, to do his duty to his species, and to the galaxy. Captain Morrison held off death, kept those things guessing, somehow, as they tried to use him, his ship, to reach Earth, made them keep him in some sort of horrific half-life, until they were distracted enough that he could get back control of his hand. His chair Sasha, same as mine. Probably came out of the same factory, a century apart, and he was typing, while they tried to speak to us, while they tried to board us, shoot us, while we distracted them, he set them up to give us the knowledge he knew we would need to ensure they would never threaten anyone again.”
Fire was still blossoming across the larger area of the holo display, graser weapons detonating fragments of hull with nuclear fire.
“Once we’ve cleared the skies here, we head to an outpost, and start warning the Admiralty. Jobs not over until these things are completely contained.”
***
103 Years, 4 months, 5 days before.
Jack staggered, his leg still bleeding from where a crewman had slashed at him with fingers broken into sharp bone claws. He’d stamped the mans head until the skull popped, rupturing the centipede thing curled inside. He was close. The familiar, once comforting hallways of the Nebula Star had become nightmarish, red lighting and blotches of gore, streaks of blood on the pristine walls, he was living in a horror game, but he had a job to finish.
He pushed off the wall he’d leant against. Behind him, he could hear screaming, and begging. He didn’t stop. It was a trick. They found the noises amusing, and mimicked them, discovering that it could draw in ‘helpers’ they could ambush.
Aft section, frame fourteen, jumpcore bay. He slapped the button, and fell through the door as it slid open. Inside, the bay was immaculate, no-one had been in here since this had started. How they had gotten aboard, he didn’t know.
Inside the skull of a landing team member, he could guess.
He knelt beside the humming machinery. His vision was going grey around the edges, he could feel dripping around his knees, he was kneeling in a pool of his own blood after only a few seconds, he didn’t have long.
He pushed his burden against the drive casing, the chem-catalyst agent on the back bonding it to the drive with a molecular weld.
He pressed the keypad of the emergency c4 cannister, the detonator arming with a beep, and a green telltale.
He typed in a code, short, sweet, he’d forgotten it by the time he reached the end, it didn’t matter. The disarm code was only for when you wanted to be able to stop the countdown. Ten seconds.
They reached him, before it finished counting. Inside his brain, they couldn’t find the code to stop the bomb.
The Nebula Star would not reach Terra, he made sure of that.
As the jumpcore failed, blowing a ragged hole out of the sleek hull, a single shuttle spun away from the boatbay, damaged, lifeless, cold and drifting outwards into the depths of space, the mutilated human corpse within stirring once with scurrying life, then going still.
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2023.06.03 03:38 Flopy_Pingas97 loco wish list with some points. I'm also looking for tips on building a DCC layout
2023.06.03 03:23 blueleaf_in_the_wind First Contact Story - June 2024
So, I wrote a scifi story, with some help of ChatGPT, based on the Law of One, Bashar, and even some of the channelings of Daniel Scranton. I wanted to flesh out a potential first contact story based on the knowledge I have gleaned from various sources.
This is FICTION.
Enjoy!
The Turning Point: First Contact
In the enchanting embrace of a serene June evening in the year 2024, President Biden stood amidst the breathtaking landscape of Sedona, Arizona. Far from the traditional confines of the White House, he was at this sacred location to address the nation, knowing the incredible significance this moment would hold. As the President's voice carried on the gentle breeze, resonating with the energy of the land, a hushed anticipation settled over the gathered crowd. Little did they suspect that this address would mark the initiation of an extraordinary new chapter in human history, one that would forever alter the course of humanity's cosmic journey. The vibrant tapestry of Sedona's red rock formations provided a fitting backdrop, reflecting the spirit of awe and wonder that filled the hearts of those present, as they unknowingly bore witness to a future beyond imagination.
As President Biden began to speak, a bit cryptically of unity and progress, a ripple of anticipation coursed through the hearts of those seekers who had delved into the Ra contact and the Law of One. These individuals, drawn to the boundless realms of cosmic consciousness, had served as beacons of the openness and receptivity of humanity. The Yahyel, with their profound understanding of the interconnectedness of all things, recognized that these individuals who embraced cosmic consciousness were indicative of humanity's readiness for making first contact. Thus, fueled by the recognition of these values, the Yahyel had taken notice, setting the stage for the momentous encounter that was about to unfold. For the Yahyel had been chosen to be the first emissaries of the greater Confederation of Planets, as their destiny was already intertwined with humanity.
The Yahyel, a peaceful and enlightened extraterrestrial civilization, emerged as the result of a profound and perilous process. Created by the Grey aliens, sometimes known as the Zetas, the Yahyel bridged the gap between their creators and earth's humanity. For the Greys had arrived from a parallel future earth and were a distorted version of human beings themselves, cut off from their own emotional energy, cut off from their home planet, and now were facing extinction due to their relentless pursuit of knowledge and technology above all else. The Greys had created this hybrid race starting in the 1940's through a desperate hybridization program. They were behind the somewhat tumultuous abduction phenomenon that humans began to experience in the 1940's across the earth. Despite the initial difficulty of taking genetic material from earth humans, such as the terrifying abduction experiences due to the grey's own weakened emotional empathy, the program was still a complete success. It should be noted that the humans involved in the program all had volunteered to help the Greys before they became incarnated. The hybrid nature of the Yahyel encompassed the best traits of both species, blending intellectual prowess with emotional depth. With their higher vibrational energies and advanced understanding of cosmic interconnectedness, the Yahyel sought to guide humanity towards a new era of harmony, awakening humanity's dormant potential and ushering them into the embrace of the greater galactic community.
Unbeknownst to the rest of the world, different groups of individual seekers, each following their different paths of exploration and enlightenment, such as the seekers of the Law of One, had quietly and discreetly already received profound contact from the Yahyel in the months leading up to that momentous June evening. For some, the communication from the Yahyel came through channeling, as they conveyed messages and images from cosmic realms. Others experienced the Yahyel's presence through telepathic and lucid dreams, where a deep connection was forged, and a shared understanding could effortlessly unfold. Through mindful seeking and dedicated meditation practices, these certain seekers had direct or indirect interactions with the Yahyel, their souls predestined. The paths planned out by their Higher Selves in the dance of cosmic destiny, discovery, and evolution.
These diverse seeking groups, driven by a yearning for a profound cosmic connection, found themselves inexplicably drawn together, all linked by direct invitation from the Yahyel. The invitation sent them to this location near Sedona, Arizona. Nestled amidst the awe-inspiring red rock formations and the mystical energy of the land, this sacred sanctuary became the chosen meeting place. Surrounded by the ethereal beauty of the desert landscape, bathed in the enchanting glow of starlit skies, they would bear witness to a meeting that transcended the boundaries of human understanding. It was a gathering that would forever alter the course of human history, illuminating a path towards a new era of interstellar communion and ushering humanity into the embrace of a galactic community that was so eagerly awaiting their arrival.
As Biden concluded his speech, the stage was now set. He had mentioned that it was time for humanity to take a grand step forward into a new era of peace and harmony with our galactic brothers and sisters. And so, as twilight embraced this chosen meeting place, the crowd grew silent. Media newscasters could be heard giving hushed commentary as everyone waited for what would happen next.
And then, it felt like a gentle hum filled the air. The air itself seemed to buzz and vibrate. Then an ethereal glow, seemingly from nowhere, slowly bathed the landscape. Suddenly, in a flash of light, the Yahyel materialized before the astonished group. Serene and radiant, they emanated a sense of profound peace. They stood around five and half feet tall. They looked mostly human, with slightly larger eyes, heads, and thinner hair. Otherwise, they very much resembled humanity.
Through a form of telepathic communication, the Yahyel conveyed their message of friendship and shared evolution. Knowing they were also on camera, they physically spoke, in English, of the vast galactic community, the Confederation of Planets, wherein different civilizations coexisted, including the benevolent beings known as Ra, each contributing their own unique wisdom and perspectives.
These wise and benevolent beings, the Yahyel, explained that they were a result of a complex history that involved their creators, the Grey aliens or Zetas. The Greys, who originated from a parallel future Earth, had pursued knowledge and technology at any cost, severing themselves from their true nature and emotional energies. This created much disharmony to the point that their bodies were becoming toxic and they were facing extinction. And so they turned to the hybridization project that gave birth to the Yahyel, a harmonious blending of their own genetic material with that of humanity.
As the Yahyel shared their tale, their primary objective remained clear—to forge a peaceful and enlightened connection with humanity. Their methodical approach ensured that contact was made with individuals who had already shown a propensity for openness, understanding, and a deep respect for the mysteries of the universe.
With each carefully orchestrated encounter, the Yahyel gently expanded their circle of contact, fostering trust and understanding, and gradually dispelling natural fears and skepticism. The humans, witnessing firsthand the Yahyel's peaceful intentions, began to open their hearts and minds to the potential for a new era of cooperation, knowledge, and shared progress.
News of these encounters began to leak out to the rest of society and began to capture the world's attention. Skeptics and believers alike marveled at the potential reality of humanity's integration into the greater galactic community. Governments, once guarded and secretive, recognized the importance of transparency and had already begun a careful process of disclosure in the years leading up to this momentous day, slowly sharing information and preparing the world for a future where Earth would take its place among the stars.
And so, in the summer of 2024, under the leadership of President Biden, Earth took its first steps towards embracing the Yahyel and the Confederation of Planets. The transformative power of this historic encounter reverberated throughout the world, inspiring a newfound unity among nations, cultures, and individuals. Humanity was united in awe, and from that a New Earth peace settled across nations.
The Yahyel, ever-grateful to the Earth humans for their instrumental role in their own creation, stood as emissaries of peace and enlightenment. With profound reverence, they embarked on a noble mission to guide humanity towards a new era of understanding, technological advancement, and interconnectedness. As humanity stood on the threshold of this extraordinary cosmic journey, the Yahyel opened the doors of perception, offering a tantalizing glimpse into the vast tapestry of the cosmos. Through their benevolent presence, they invited humanity to share their unique wisdom, experiences, and perspectives, recognizing the invaluable contributions Earth humans could make to the galactic family. It was a harmonious exchange, where the Yahyel's higher vibrational energies intertwined with the collective consciousness of humanity, creating a tapestry of shared growth and expansion that would shape the destiny of both species and foster a profound sense of unity across the galaxy.
As humanity and the Yahyel embarked on this remarkable journey, a future once shrouded in uncertainty began to reveal its true shining potential. The stars beckoned, and together, the Yahyel and humanity ventured forth, bound by a shared destiny and a shared commitment to growth, harmony, and the exploration of the cosmic wonders that awaited them.
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2023.06.03 03:21 blueleaf_in_the_wind First Contact Story - June 2024
So, I wrote a scifi story, with some help of ChatGPT, based on the Law of One, Bashar, and even some of the channelings of Daniel Scranton. I wanted to flesh out a potential first contact story based on the knowledge I have gleaned from various sources.
This is FICTION.
Enjoy!
The Turning Point: First Contact
In the enchanting embrace of a serene June evening in the year 2024, President Biden stood amidst the breathtaking landscape of Sedona, Arizona. Far from the traditional confines of the White House, he was at this sacred location to address the nation, knowing the incredible significance this moment would hold. As the President's voice carried on the gentle breeze, resonating with the energy of the land, a hushed anticipation settled over the gathered crowd. Little did they suspect that this address would mark the initiation of an extraordinary new chapter in human history, one that would forever alter the course of humanity's cosmic journey. The vibrant tapestry of Sedona's red rock formations provided a fitting backdrop, reflecting the spirit of awe and wonder that filled the hearts of those present, as they unknowingly bore witness to a future beyond imagination.
As President Biden began to speak, a bit cryptically of unity and progress, a ripple of anticipation coursed through the hearts of those seekers who had delved into the Ra contact and the Law of One. These individuals, drawn to the boundless realms of cosmic consciousness, had served as beacons of the openness and receptivity of humanity. The Yahyel, with their profound understanding of the interconnectedness of all things, recognized that these individuals who embraced cosmic consciousness were indicative of humanity's readiness for making first contact. Thus, fueled by the recognition of these values, the Yahyel had taken notice, setting the stage for the momentous encounter that was about to unfold. For the Yahyel had been chosen to be the first emissaries of the greater Confederation of Planets, as their destiny was already intertwined with humanity.
The Yahyel, a peaceful and enlightened extraterrestrial civilization, emerged as the result of a profound and perilous process. Created by the Grey aliens, sometimes known as the Zetas, the Yahyel bridged the gap between their creators and earth's humanity. For the Greys had arrived from a parallel future earth and were a distorted version of human beings themselves, cut off from their own emotional energy, cut off from their home planet, and now were facing extinction due to their relentless pursuit of knowledge and technology above all else. The Greys had created this hybrid race starting in the 1940's through a desperate hybridization program. They were behind the somewhat tumultuous abduction phenomenon that humans began to experience in the 1940's across the earth. Despite the initial difficulty of taking genetic material from earth humans, such as the terrifying abduction experiences due to the grey's own weakened emotional empathy, the program was still a complete success. It should be noted that the humans involved in the program all had volunteered to help the Greys before they became incarnated. The hybrid nature of the Yahyel encompassed the best traits of both species, blending intellectual prowess with emotional depth. With their higher vibrational energies and advanced understanding of cosmic interconnectedness, the Yahyel sought to guide humanity towards a new era of harmony, awakening humanity's dormant potential and ushering them into the embrace of the greater galactic community.
Unbeknownst to the rest of the world, different groups of individual seekers, each following their different paths of exploration and enlightenment, such as the seekers of the Law of One, had quietly and discreetly already received profound contact from the Yahyel in the months leading up to that momentous June evening. For some, the communication from the Yahyel came through channeling, as they conveyed messages and images from cosmic realms. Others experienced the Yahyel's presence through telepathic and lucid dreams, where a deep connection was forged, and a shared understanding could effortlessly unfold. Through mindful seeking and dedicated meditation practices, these certain seekers had direct or indirect interactions with the Yahyel, their souls predestined. The paths planned out by their Higher Selves in the dance of cosmic destiny, discovery, and evolution.
These diverse seeking groups, driven by a yearning for a profound cosmic connection, found themselves inexplicably drawn together, all linked by direct invitation from the Yahyel. The invitation sent them to this location near Sedona, Arizona. Nestled amidst the awe-inspiring red rock formations and the mystical energy of the land, this sacred sanctuary became the chosen meeting place. Surrounded by the ethereal beauty of the desert landscape, bathed in the enchanting glow of starlit skies, they would bear witness to a meeting that transcended the boundaries of human understanding. It was a gathering that would forever alter the course of human history, illuminating a path towards a new era of interstellar communion and ushering humanity into the embrace of a galactic community that was so eagerly awaiting their arrival.
As Biden concluded his speech, the stage was now set. He had mentioned that it was time for humanity to take a grand step forward into a new era of peace and harmony with our galactic brothers and sisters. And so, as twilight embraced this chosen meeting place, the crowd grew silent. Media newscasters could be heard giving hushed commentary as everyone waited for what would happen next.
And then, it felt like a gentle hum filled the air. The air itself seemed to buzz and vibrate. Then an ethereal glow, seemingly from nowhere, slowly bathed the landscape. Suddenly, in a flash of light, the Yahyel materialized before the astonished group. Serene and radiant, they emanated a sense of profound peace. They stood around five and half feet tall. They looked mostly human, with slightly larger eyes, heads, and thinner hair. Otherwise, they very much resembled humanity.
Through a form of telepathic communication, the Yahyel conveyed their message of friendship and shared evolution. Knowing they were also on camera, they physically spoke, in English, of the vast galactic community, the Confederation of Planets, wherein different civilizations coexisted, including the benevolent beings known as Ra, each contributing their own unique wisdom and perspectives.
These wise and benevolent beings, the Yahyel, explained that they were a result of a complex history that involved their creators, the Grey aliens or Zetas. The Greys, who originated from a parallel future Earth, had pursued knowledge and technology at any cost, severing themselves from their true nature and emotional energies. This created much disharmony to the point that their bodies were becoming toxic and they were facing extinction. And so they turned to the hybridization project that gave birth to the Yahyel, a harmonious blending of their own genetic material with that of humanity.
As the Yahyel shared their tale, their primary objective remained clear—to forge a peaceful and enlightened connection with humanity. Their methodical approach ensured that contact was made with individuals who had already shown a propensity for openness, understanding, and a deep respect for the mysteries of the universe.
With each carefully orchestrated encounter, the Yahyel gently expanded their circle of contact, fostering trust and understanding, and gradually dispelling natural fears and skepticism. The humans, witnessing firsthand the Yahyel's peaceful intentions, began to open their hearts and minds to the potential for a new era of cooperation, knowledge, and shared progress.
News of these encounters began to leak out to the rest of society and began to capture the world's attention. Skeptics and believers alike marveled at the potential reality of humanity's integration into the greater galactic community. Governments, once guarded and secretive, recognized the importance of transparency and had already begun a careful process of disclosure in the years leading up to this momentous day, slowly sharing information and preparing the world for a future where Earth would take its place among the stars.
And so, in the summer of 2024, under the leadership of President Biden, Earth took its first steps towards embracing the Yahyel and the Confederation of Planets. The transformative power of this historic encounter reverberated throughout the world, inspiring a newfound unity among nations, cultures, and individuals. Humanity was united in awe, and from that a New Earth peace settled across nations.
The Yahyel, ever-grateful to the Earth humans for their instrumental role in their own creation, stood as emissaries of peace and enlightenment. With profound reverence, they embarked on a noble mission to guide humanity towards a new era of understanding, technological advancement, and interconnectedness. As humanity stood on the threshold of this extraordinary cosmic journey, the Yahyel opened the doors of perception, offering a tantalizing glimpse into the vast tapestry of the cosmos. Through their benevolent presence, they invited humanity to share their unique wisdom, experiences, and perspectives, recognizing the invaluable contributions Earth humans could make to the galactic family. It was a harmonious exchange, where the Yahyel's higher vibrational energies intertwined with the collective consciousness of humanity, creating a tapestry of shared growth and expansion that would shape the destiny of both species and foster a profound sense of unity across the galaxy.
As humanity and the Yahyel embarked on this remarkable journey, a future once shrouded in uncertainty began to reveal its true shining potential. The stars beckoned, and together, the Yahyel and humanity ventured forth, bound by a shared destiny and a shared commitment to growth, harmony, and the exploration of the cosmic wonders that awaited them.
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2023.06.03 03:19 blueleaf_in_the_wind First Contact Story - June 2024
So, I wrote a scifi story, with some help of ChatGPT, based on the Law of One, Bashar, and even some of the channelings of Daniel Scranton. I wanted to flesh out a potential first contact story based on the knowledge I have gleaned from various sources.
This is FICTION.
Enjoy!
The Turning Point: First Contact
In the enchanting embrace of a serene June evening in the year 2024, President Biden stood amidst the breathtaking landscape of Sedona, Arizona. Far from the traditional confines of the White House, he was at this sacred location to address the nation, knowing the incredible significance this moment would hold. As the President's voice carried on the gentle breeze, resonating with the energy of the land, a hushed anticipation settled over the gathered crowd. Little did they suspect that this address would mark the initiation of an extraordinary new chapter in human history, one that would forever alter the course of humanity's cosmic journey. The vibrant tapestry of Sedona's red rock formations provided a fitting backdrop, reflecting the spirit of awe and wonder that filled the hearts of those present, as they unknowingly bore witness to a future beyond imagination.
As President Biden began to speak, a bit cryptically of unity and progress, a ripple of anticipation coursed through the hearts of those seekers who had delved into the Ra contact and the Law of One. These individuals, drawn to the boundless realms of cosmic consciousness, had served as beacons of the openness and receptivity of humanity. The Yahyel, with their profound understanding of the interconnectedness of all things, recognized that these individuals who embraced cosmic consciousness were indicative of humanity's readiness for making first contact. Thus, fueled by the recognition of these values, the Yahyel had taken notice, setting the stage for the momentous encounter that was about to unfold. For the Yahyel had been chosen to be the first emissaries of the greater Confederation of Planets, as their destiny was already intertwined with humanity.
The Yahyel, a peaceful and enlightened extraterrestrial civilization, emerged as the result of a profound and perilous process. Created by the Grey aliens, sometimes known as the Zetas, the Yahyel bridged the gap between their creators and earth's humanity. For the Greys had arrived from a parallel future earth and were a distorted version of human beings themselves, cut off from their own emotional energy, cut off from their home planet, and now were facing extinction due to their relentless pursuit of knowledge and technology above all else. The Greys had created this hybrid race starting in the 1940's through a desperate hybridization program. They were behind the somewhat tumultuous abduction phenomenon that humans began to experience in the 1940's across the earth. Despite the initial difficulty of taking genetic material from earth humans, such as the terrifying abduction experiences due to the grey's own weakened emotional empathy, the program was still a complete success. It should be noted that the humans involved in the program all had volunteered to help the Greys before they became incarnated. The hybrid nature of the Yahyel encompassed the best traits of both species, blending intellectual prowess with emotional depth. With their higher vibrational energies and advanced understanding of cosmic interconnectedness, the Yahyel sought to guide humanity towards a new era of harmony, awakening humanity's dormant potential and ushering them into the embrace of the greater galactic community.
Unbeknownst to the rest of the world, different groups of individual seekers, each following their different paths of exploration and enlightenment, such as the seekers of the Law of One, had quietly and discreetly already received profound contact from the Yahyel in the months leading up to that momentous June evening. For some, the communication from the Yahyel came through channeling, as they conveyed messages and images from cosmic realms. Others experienced the Yahyel's presence through telepathic and lucid dreams, where a deep connection was forged, and a shared understanding could effortlessly unfold. Through mindful seeking and dedicated meditation practices, these certain seekers had direct or indirect interactions with the Yahyel, their souls predestined. The paths planned out by their Higher Selves in the dance of cosmic destiny, discovery, and evolution.
These diverse seeking groups, driven by a yearning for a profound cosmic connection, found themselves inexplicably drawn together, all linked by direct invitation from the Yahyel. The invitation sent them to this location near Sedona, Arizona. Nestled amidst the awe-inspiring red rock formations and the mystical energy of the land, this sacred sanctuary became the chosen meeting place. Surrounded by the ethereal beauty of the desert landscape, bathed in the enchanting glow of starlit skies, they would bear witness to a meeting that transcended the boundaries of human understanding. It was a gathering that would forever alter the course of human history, illuminating a path towards a new era of interstellar communion and ushering humanity into the embrace of a galactic community that was so eagerly awaiting their arrival.
As Biden concluded his speech, the stage was now set. He had mentioned that it was time for humanity to take a grand step forward into a new era of peace and harmony with our galactic brothers and sisters. And so, as twilight embraced this chosen meeting place, the crowd grew silent. Media newscasters could be heard giving hushed commentary as everyone waited for what would happen next.
And then, it felt like a gentle hum filled the air. The air itself seemed to buzz and vibrate. Then an ethereal glow, seemingly from nowhere, slowly bathed the landscape. Suddenly, in a flash of light, the Yahyel materialized before the astonished group. Serene and radiant, they emanated a sense of profound peace. They stood around five and half feet tall. They looked mostly human, with slightly larger eyes, heads, and thinner hair. Otherwise, they very much resembled humanity.
Through a form of telepathic communication, the Yahyel conveyed their message of friendship and shared evolution. Knowing they were also on camera, they physically spoke, in English, of the vast galactic community, the Confederation of Planets, wherein different civilizations coexisted, including the benevolent beings known as Ra, each contributing their own unique wisdom and perspectives.
These wise and benevolent beings, the Yahyel, explained that they were a result of a complex history that involved their creators, the Grey aliens or Zetas. The Greys, who originated from a parallel future Earth, had pursued knowledge and technology at any cost, severing themselves from their true nature and emotional energies. This created much disharmony to the point that their bodies were becoming toxic and they were facing extinction. And so they turned to the hybridization project that gave birth to the Yahyel, a harmonious blending of their own genetic material with that of humanity.
As the Yahyel shared their tale, their primary objective remained clear—to forge a peaceful and enlightened connection with humanity. Their methodical approach ensured that contact was made with individuals who had already shown a propensity for openness, understanding, and a deep respect for the mysteries of the universe.
With each carefully orchestrated encounter, the Yahyel gently expanded their circle of contact, fostering trust and understanding, and gradually dispelling natural fears and skepticism. The humans, witnessing firsthand the Yahyel's peaceful intentions, began to open their hearts and minds to the potential for a new era of cooperation, knowledge, and shared progress.
News of these encounters began to leak out to the rest of society and began to capture the world's attention. Skeptics and believers alike marveled at the potential reality of humanity's integration into the greater galactic community. Governments, once guarded and secretive, recognized the importance of transparency and had already begun a careful process of disclosure in the years leading up to this momentous day, slowly sharing information and preparing the world for a future where Earth would take its place among the stars.
And so, in the summer of 2024, under the leadership of President Biden, Earth took its first steps towards embracing the Yahyel and the Confederation of Planets. The transformative power of this historic encounter reverberated throughout the world, inspiring a newfound unity among nations, cultures, and individuals. Humanity was united in awe, and from that a New Earth peace settled across nations.
The Yahyel, ever-grateful to the Earth humans for their instrumental role in their own creation, stood as emissaries of peace and enlightenment. With profound reverence, they embarked on a noble mission to guide humanity towards a new era of understanding, technological advancement, and interconnectedness. As humanity stood on the threshold of this extraordinary cosmic journey, the Yahyel opened the doors of perception, offering a tantalizing glimpse into the vast tapestry of the cosmos. Through their benevolent presence, they invited humanity to share their unique wisdom, experiences, and perspectives, recognizing the invaluable contributions Earth humans could make to the galactic family. It was a harmonious exchange, where the Yahyel's higher vibrational energies intertwined with the collective consciousness of humanity, creating a tapestry of shared growth and expansion that would shape the destiny of both species and foster a profound sense of unity across the galaxy.
As humanity and the Yahyel embarked on this remarkable journey, a future once shrouded in uncertainty began to reveal its true shining potential. The stars beckoned, and together, the Yahyel and humanity ventured forth, bound by a shared destiny and a shared commitment to growth, harmony, and the exploration of the cosmic wonders that awaited them.
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2023.06.03 03:16 Little-Text-1473 I wish you were here
To my little sis in heaven: Everyday I think about how we would’ve grown up together and the things we would’ve done. Everyone in my life has a sister, even our little brother. I never got the chance to know what it was like having sister. I spent a good chunk of my life searching for a best friend to feel like a sister to me. I know if you were still here we would argue, laugh, and cry but our bond would be indestructible. I’ve never been able to keep a friend because I’ve been betrayed over and over again while desperately searching and craving for that unbreakable sisterly bond. You would be sad to know that me and mom are not close and dad works almost every single day although I grown closer to him than her. Mom spends all day everyday in her room. We don’t talk about intimate things and cry together or laugh together. I’ve tried to go in her room to hang out with her and initiate that sentimental relationship but I don’t feel like I’m wanted there, and truthfully it’s a depressing place to be with crumbs all over the floor and trash piled up in the can. I’ve cleaned her bathroom and room but it still gets bad. On Dad’s rare days off he’ll manically clean every part of the house while downing 3 beers if not more. Our family broke the day you left and so grateful for our bundle of joy our baby bro, but he is not enough to glue this family back together. He’s starting to get the same treatment and feel the anxiety I feel but he doesn’t understand yet. Our family are not terrible people, they will bend over backwards for any random stranger and give the last hair on their back, but they are hurting. When we have good moments they are so good I feel like I’m on cloud 9, but when the moments are bad, they’re so bad we all wish we were with you.
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2023.06.03 03:08 ALosteffincause My moms in a DV shelter and expects me and my sister to drop everything and take her in
Now, she hasn't fully sat down with us to talk about her future plans or anything. She basically will say things to me or my sister about her wishes. For example, she told me if she doesnt find a place to live after 3 months at the shelter they will kick her out and she will have to live with my sister since i live in a different state and my mom is jobless trying to apply for disability. She never consulted my sister about moving in with her she basically sees this as a must bc shes our mom. When she talks to my sister she tells her how she wishes she would move in with me and my family in this other state. Even on some paperwork at the shelter she showed us it stated my house was an option for her if she didnt find housing! I confronted her about it saying this is something we would need to talk to my boyfriend about it too because I wont have a job next month due to being in school full time. And she responds with stuff like "dont worry I wont come live with you" or "Dont worry, you dont need to worr y about your mother. I will figure something out" OR "time is running out if i dont figure something out theyre gonna kick me out on the streets"
She basically guilt trips us. My sister lives in a tiny apartment and has a toddler. And my mom.. well she has high anxiety, is VERY SENSITIVE and throws temper tantrums if she feels offended. (which is most of the time).
We obviously love our mom, but shes expecting us to save her. And we've tried that many times before and it just doesnt work. She doesn't have any boundaries. She makes us do tasks for her that shes able to do and has time to do. For example, my sister lives 30 miles from the area where the shelter is, my mom
- had her mail forwarded to my sisters address without asking her
- has my sister picking up her prescriptions 30 miles away from her house for my mom without asking her. Then she changed the pharmacy to a closer pharmacy so that she doesnt burden my sister
- She has my sister pick her up from a gas station near the shelter and drive her to another area 25 miles north of the shelter to sell the car, is impatient and rude to the sales people and acting as if she needs some special treatmentfrom them because shes in a DV shelter. my nephew who is 2 and on the spectrum was running around and she was getting aggravated and irritated with him too
- She has me calling the dealership for her check from the car sale because she doesnt take the time to listen to the pgone prompts in order to get to the right person. She wants me to call her attourneys to ask them questions for her when she is able to do all this!!!! and if i tell her im working and cant she gets upset
Yesterday through text i told her that she needs to get out of lala land and get to work. She decided to leave my dad without consulting us. She decided to go to this DV shelter knowing she has 0 income. And now shes complaining to us that she will be homeless if something is not done. I told her to stop waiting for some miracle program and try to find a job so that she can get a small place. I also told her that she has the time to call her attourneys and the dealership and that she needs to stop relying on us to try to save her. She got offended and told me "wow is that what you think of me" and has now been avoiding me and talking shit to my sister about me. Shes like "shes acting like im asking her for help" NEWSFLASH SHE HAS. and we dont mind helping but neither one of us is willing to take her in. Idk if that makes us assholes? Idk what else to freaking do!
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2023.06.03 03:01 Saturdead The Many Deaths of the Six-Door House
I’ve been waiting to talk about this. I’ve been looking for others with similar experiences, or… I dunno. Maybe I hoped I was insane. Months have passed, and I still don’t have the slightest idea what to believe. But no matter what is true and what isn’t, the memory of what happened to me is as true as can be.
And every time I put my hand to a door, I tremble.
I was looking for a house in the surrounding area. I know, being a homeowner at 27 seems like a dream. I know I’ve been fortunate. Even so, I wanted something remote, spacious, and comparably cheap.
I’d been looking for something nearby, but everything even close to a larger city quickly ran out of my price range. It wasn’t until I started looking at the rural outskirts that I started to see something realistic.
I’d been to four open house showings in the past week when I came across an ad that looked too good to be true. Another open house, but this one was just perfect. Apparently, they were looking to make a quick sale after a previous deal had fallen through.
I made my way to a small nearby town called Tomskog. There was a little billboard with a blue sunflower greeting me, and I took a hard right down a street named “Sunplenty Road”. There were only five houses there, and the one I came to look at was at the far end. Even from a distance, I could tell I wasn’t the only visitor.
I parked on the street outside and took in the sights. There was an “Open House” sign outside, again with the sunflower logo. There was a separate garage, and the house itself was smaller than expected. Homely, but small.
I was greeted by a cheerful man. He had thick glasses, a receding hairline, and the kind of “fun uncle” smile that told me he could get away with anything.
“Come on in,” he said. “You’re gonna love it.”
There was me, the realtor, and three other people. A middle-aged couple, and a younger woman. She had this messy black hair that kept poking her in the eye. Even at a glance I could tell the young woman was distraught. She wasn’t even looking around the house, she seemed more interested in the people wandering about.
The house had a simple and open layout. The bottom floor had a bathroom, a separate study room, an adjoining kitchen, and a lounge area. There were stairs leading to a sort of catwalk on the second floor, making the main room wide open. The second floor had another bathroom, a bedroom, and a guest room.
It had this sort of sullen 70’s vibe with grey and white flower-patterned wallpaper. There were little scuffs and tears pretty much everywhere, but the house itself seemed… fine.
The realtor, Anders, showed me all the details of the kitchen. He assured me that most of the appliances were to be replaced before the next homeowner moved in, and proudly displayed the new garbage disposal. It was a nice enough setup, but I couldn’t tear my eyes away from the young woman standing outside the study. I got the feeling that she was standing guard.
As the middle-aged couple walked downstairs, they asked her they could have a look.
“No,” she answered, with a shrug. “You can’t.”
“Don’t mind her,” Anders the realtor smiled. “Of course you can.”
“No,” she insisted. “They can’t.”
Anders walked up to her and leaned in. His demeanor shifted. They argued back and forth, and I could hear her repeat, over and over;
“This is not what we agreed to.”
The middle-aged couple and I just looked at one another. While the realtor and the young woman argued, we introduced ourselves. I smiled and gave them my name. They were named Helen and Sebastian, or ‘Seb’ for short. Typical midwestern salt-of-the-earth kind of people. They were suffering from an empty nest and seemed to want a place to start over. They made no secret about being interested in the place, although Helen wasn’t sure about having no direct access to the garage. Seb, on the other hand, wasn’t sure about the soil. He wanted a proper garden, and the soil seemed ill-fit to sustain greenery.
“Still,” Helen smiled. “Best place we’ve seen so far.”
“Sure is,” added Seb, giving Helen a little shake.
Anders kept arguing with the young woman. I could overhear her name as Whitney, and she was not willing to cooperate. Finally, Anders just pushed past her, putting his keys in the lock.
“Right this way, we’ll just take a quick peek.”
“We’re not done in there,” she said. “You can’t just-“
“It was supposed to be packed up, Whitney. I can’t help that you’re late.”
“That’s not… please. Give me an hour.”
“You’ve had plenty of hours.”
He clicked the door open and pushed it in. The three of us gave Whitney an apologetic look as we stepped inside.
The study was a mess. Old clothes strewn across various furniture, loose papers and books haphazardly thrown across a musky desk. An entire wall of bookshelves full of textbooks, ranging from discrete mathematics to philosophical physics. I stood there for a few seconds, taking it all in. Whitney pushed past us, grabbing an empty box from the floor.
“Don’t touch anything,” she sighed. “Just… look at it, and leave.”
Anders leaned over to us, lowering his voice.
“You have to excuse her,” he whispered. “There were some… complications, with the former owner.”
“Oh, she’s… the, uh, the daughter?” Seb asked.
Anders nodded.
While Anders told us about the east-facing windows and the top-of-the-line air conditioning system, I couldn’t help but to keep my eyes on Whitney. She was rummaging through the desk, dropping mementos, pictures, and notebooks into one of her many cardboard boxes. I could tell she was sleep deprived. She kept yawning.
Helen seemed eager to just leave Whitney to her grieving, while Seb kept to the practical details. He checked the hardwood floor, the insulation on the windows, the wall linings for pests. At one point, he almost knocked over a coffee table, and Whitney came running. She caught a vase that was about to topple off the table.
“Don’t… don’t touch anything!” she cried out. “Just… if you have to be here, stay… stay still!”
“I’m, uh… sorry,” Seb said. “I was just-“
“Just go over there!”
She waved her hands around, shaking the vase. There was a little rattle coming from it.
She shook it again, and I could see the color fade from her cheeks. Carefully, she tipped the vase, and something dark plopped into her hand.
A large bronze key.
Whitney pulled her hand back, letting the bronze key clatter to the floor. She covered her mouth, forgetting how to exhale. We just looked at her having what seemed, to us, like a mental breakdown.
“Nobody move,” she gasped. “Nobody… do anything.”
We all just stood there. Helen and Seb barely breathed, and I was suddenly hyper-aware of how still my feet were. Anders wasn’t impressed. If anything, he was fed up with this. He rolled his eyes, and picked up the key.
“Whitney, I’m sorry, you’re gonna have to wait outside.”
“Please, put… put that down.”
“You can put it with your things and take it outside.”
“Just… don’t move, you don’t know what you’re-“
Anders opened the door, stepped out of the study, and headed straight for the front door. Whitney dropped everything and ran after him. The rest of us followed suit.
“Wait!” she called out. “Please wait!”
As soon as Anders put his hand on the front door, Whitney stopped dead in her tracks.
“Anders, please, I’m sorry,” she said. “Just step away. Give me the key. I’ll leave, I promise. I swear.”
“That’s enough of that.”
“No!”
He opened the door and took a step forward. The bronze key passed the threshold.
We’d all stepped into the main lounge by now, and I heard the door to the study slam shut. There was a sort of pressure shift, making the wind move through the main lounge. Every door in the house slid shut with a click. All except the front door, which was wide open.
But there was nothing there.
Not nothing as in no one standing there. No, nothing as in “a nothing”. Just a blank, black space.
A viscous fluid where sunlight ought to be.
Endless, abyssal, ocean.
I stared at it, mesmerized. The contrast of the bright sun coming in from the windows, bouncing off the ripples of this deep ocean doorway.
And there, in the dark, humanoids. Tall, elongated silhouettes.
Anders stepped back, but it was as if parts of him refused to move. His arms were locked in place, seemingly by an invisible force. And as he stepped back, something started pulling him in.
His limbs grew long and twisted. His knees bending and snapping at impossible angles. His scalp pulled backwards, the loose skin of his face revealing the bottom white of his eyes.
“He… help!”
It was all he managed to say, as he was pulled into the dark. Limbs were quietly ripped from his sockets, as his human frame was bent, twisted, torn, and mangled. Black water mixing with marrow as dark shapes turned Anders into what resembled an underwater cloud of flesh and cloth.
Whitney threw herself forward, slamming the door shut, leaving the bronze key on the floor.
Screams erupted, and I didn’t even notice they were mine. It was this primal force being pulled out of me, this need to scream. Like a baby desperate for her mother. Helen backed into a corner and sunk to the floor, with Seb trying his best to comfort her. Whitney just sat there looking at the bronze key; her face breaking out in cold sweats.
I felt something turn in my stomach and headed for the bathroom. Whitney ran after me, but she couldn’t make it in time. I burst through the bathroom door and collapsed on the floor, hyperventilating. Whitney stayed outside, looking at me in shock.
“It’s… you’re… you’re fine,” she said. “You’re okay.”
I wasn’t. But compared to Anders, panicking on the bathroom floor seemed like a mercy.
Whitney stayed with me as I calmed down. Seb and Helen joined us. After a few minutes of silence, Whitney excused herself. She came back with pile of notebooks. She sat down across the hall from me, making sure not to enter the bathroom.
“My dad, he… found something,” she said. “I wasn’t sure exactly what.”
“We should… we should leave,” said Helen. “We should leave right now.”
“We can climb out a window,” said Seb. “If the, uh… the door is…”
“Just… please,” sighed Whitney. “Just stay. We’ll figure it out.”
“I-I mean no offense,” said Helen. “But what… what on earth was that?”
Whitney turned the notebook to a specific page and read aloud.
“I’ve been marooned in this house for thirty days. I never know where the Door is. Sometimes I can hear water, sometimes not. I tried the windows, but it nearly burst my eardrums from the pressure as water came rushing in. I can’t leave. I can’t move. They wait behind the Door. They wait for me to open.”
Whitney scratched her head. Helen looked back and forth, as if waiting for something to make sense. Seb just shook his head.
“What… what does that even mean?” asked Helen. “What happened?”
“It has to do with the doors,” Whitney explained. “They wait behind the Door.”
“There’s nothing there,” said Seb. “There’s light coming through the windows.”
“It’s… it’s not that easy. It’s when you open it.”
“That doesn’t make any sense.”
Whitney stood up and handed Helen three notebooks.
“We can argue the details of dad’s quantum entanglement experiment later, but that’s not gonna help us.”
“So… let’s just go then,” said Seb. “Let’s leave.”
“You wanna take your chances on the front door? That it won’t come back? Go ahead.”
Seb took a few tentative steps up to the front door. Helen wanted to protest, but she just started looking back and forth. Whitney crossed her arms and turned away.
“I can’t hear anything,” said Seb. “Are you sure it’s there?”
“It’s somewhere,” said Whitney. “I don’t… I don’t know the rules. It has to do with the doors.”
I got up off the bathroom floor and looked at them. Seb took his hand off the front door and stepped back. Whitney turned her attention to me.
“You put yourself at risk,” said Whitney. “That could’ve killed you.”
“The bathroom?”
“The door to the bathroom. Any or all of these doors, it… it could be connected. Here, let me-“
Whitney walked up to Helen and took one of the notebooks back. She turned to one of the latter pages.
“The framework of passageway. Concept of thought. Paired in alignment, the darkness standing shy from the mirrored back of Empyrean. Realm unwilled and unbound, misshapen by collective subconscious. We cannot pass, our world-forgotten blocks dissipated. Like a bridge cannot be built of water, and a house cannot be built of wind. But the great craftsman blames not their tools; and eternal gold can be found in humble bronze.”
“Bronze,” I said. “Like the key.”
“Look, my dad, he… we weren’t on speaking terms. I’ve looked at all this for days, and all I can tell is that he was off his rocker. He died in that room.”
Whitney pointed to the study. Helen hugged Seb tight, holding back a sob.
“He couldn’t leave. He was convinced that the… the door would eat him.”
Helen sat down by the kitchen table. Thankfully, there was no door in-between the kitchen and the main lounge. Seb walked straight up to Whitney, grabbed her by the collar of her blouse, and slammed her up against the wall; his calm demeanor cracking at the seams.
“We shouldn’t be here,” he said. “This is your fault!”
“I-I didn’t know! It was all just ramblings! I didn’t have time to clear it all out, how… how could I have known?!”
“You recognized the key,” said Helen. “You chased after him. You asked him to wait.”
“That’s the only part that keeps coming back!” Whitney yelled. “Check the notebooks! The key, it’s… it’s everywhere! It’s everything!”
“So what do we do?” Seb asked. “Do we use it or destroy it?”
Whitney looked at the pile of notebooks she’d managed to gather from the study. It was only a handful of everything we’d seen in there, but it might be enough to get some semblance of an answer.
The house had six doors. The front door, the bathroom door, the study room door. On the top floor, there was another bathroom door, a door to the guest bedroom, and the main bedroom door. The bathroom door on the bottom floor was already open and considered safe. I could step in and out without a problem.
Whitney explained as best as she could.
Her father had grown increasingly paranoid since divorcing Whitney’s mother. He’d locked himself in his house, committing fully to his studies. He’d always been a bit agoraphobic, and having a reason not to leave the house was a bit of a blessing in disguise. But over time, that blessing turned into a curse. An early entry read;
“For years, I’ve longed for the presence of mind to devote myself. And now that I can, I find myself wanting. I can’t be certain. There is a Door, a passage. It binds itself seemingly spontaneously. There is a risk involved, and it is a risk I cannot take.”
Seb tried to call for help, but water started pouring out of his phone. Whitney found a page about “semi-passages” or “shortcuts”. Things that could be used as portals to another person or place. They weren’t as conceptually clean as a door, and thus wouldn’t invite “Them”, but the connection would go through that dark place. The place that, somehow, her father had stumbled upon.
I looked at the key for a long time. I didn’t dare to touch it. It was unassuming, in a way. It was old and had this sort of blocky texture; like it was made of little squares. While Helen and Seb rifled through notebooks, Whitney looked up and talked to me.
“He just wanted a way to go wherever he wanted, without having to traverse the space in-between. To just go from one door to another. All he needed was a key.”
“But why now? Why is… how are we trapped?” I asked. “We got in here just fine.”
“The realtor,” sighed Whitney. “He tried to leave with the key. I think that triggered it.”
“So how do we un-trigger it?”
Whitney shrugged and pointed to the notebooks.
We had endless discussions. We compared notes, drew out theories. Helen thought we could force the bronze key out a window, but Whitney theorized that it’d just leave us locked inside. I suggested we listened at each door, just to eliminate which ones were safe and which weren’t. We tried, but there was seemingly no way to tell. Sometimes I could hear rushing water on the other side. Scratches on the wood. Other times, nothing. Even going back to the same door, it’d sound differently each time.
We considered opening several doors at once. We spread ourselves out. I was at the upstairs bedroom door, right next to Seb by the guest room door. Whitney was downstairs by the study door, and Helen insisted on the front door. We all put our hands on the handles. I wasn’t sure if I could hear something on the other side or not; my heart was pounding too loudly.
There were six doors. Five were closed, one open. Someone was probably going to die.
“There is only ever one Door. He only speaks of it as a singular. It can change over time,” said Whitney. “This is our best shot.”
“We can’t know for sure,” said Seb. “And why do we even want to open them all? There’s nothing in the bedrooms, right?”
“We’re excluding,” I said. “Like we did with the downstairs bathroom.”
“We should close it,” said Helen. “Shouldn’t that improve our chances of… of our other doors being okay?”
“I have no idea,” sighed Whitney. “Are we doing this?”
Seb backed away from his door, taking the hand off the handle.
“It ain’t right,” he said. “None of it. It ain’t right.”
Everything erupted into an argument. Seb couldn’t bring himself to risk his life for anything less than an exit, and Helen couldn’t stop crying at the thought of that dark abyss. I couldn’t blame her. To this day, I can’t stop imagining it. Whitney, trying to act as a voice of reason, read aloud from one of the notebooks.
“The concept of the passageway, the Door, changes at the flick of a thought. An alien thought, like an invisible, uncontrollable shadow of the psyche. It refuses to be controlled. My exit could be my end; or as likely, a wooden frame. Much like we cannot control the smoke of a campfire, we cannot foresee the turning of the passageway.”
We all looked at one another. Helen collapsed by the front door, crying. Whitney was close to a mental breakdown. I felt this enormous burden settle in my stomach, like I was missing something.
“Let’s take the door off the hinges”, said Seb. “We’ll turn it into a… an arch. Then it ain’t a door anymore. You think that’ll work?”
“In theory, maybe,” said Whitney. “But how do we do that without opening it?”
“We’ll… we’ll take the whole frame off,” Seb said. “There’s a crowbar under the sink. Saw it when I checked the garbage disposal.”
Helen bent down next to the sink, put her hand on the kitchen cabinet handle. I gasped.
Was that considered a door? Could it kill her? Would it?
I imagined that dark, cold abyss. That enormous force pulling me in, turning my very form into this unrecognizable mass. Where no screams can be heard. All I’d have to show for such unimaginable anguish would be a burst of bubbles; then nothing.
“No!” I cried out. “Stop!”
But it was too late.
Nothing happened. Helen opened it, pulled out the crowbar, and that was that. But for a brief moment, I realized how Whitney’s father must’ve felt. That uncertainty, not knowing for sure if that one flick of the wrist would be damnation; or nothing.
Helen handed the crowbar to Seb, while Whitney gave me a pat on the shoulder. I couldn’t stop crying. My whole body was shaking from the sudden rush of adrenaline. Meanwhile, Seb walked up to the front door and started tapping the wood.
The theory was this; if there was no door, nothing could come through. There was no point in doing a test run, because if it didn’t work, someone would lose their life either way. It was better to have an honest chance of getting out.
Whitney gathered towels. She had this idea that, maybe, water might start leaking if the door was turned into a semi-passage, like a window. If so, we might have to find a way to quickly stop the flow.
By the time we got the towels, Seb started working on the door frame. As that first crack rang out, I heard a click.
The front door slid open.
Without a moment’s thought, Seb pushed it close. It had barely opened an inch.
We all held our breaths. We were fine. Nothing was happening.
“It’s… it’s clear!” Helen called out. “There’s nothing there! I saw it, it… it was nothing!”
“It can change!” Whitney yelled back. “We can’t take that risk again!”
“Like hell we can’t.”
Seb put his hand on the front door, but Whitney tackled him. The crowbar fell to the floor as Helen rushed forward to help.
“Listen!” Whitney yelled. “Just listen!”
A rumble, like a great whale passing in the distance. It was right there; on the other side of the front door.
Without a word, they all stood up and backed away. The door shook from the passing force. Something was definitely there.
“Then… then the rest should be fine,” said Seb. “We can get to the study.”
Whitney nodded, and the two of them burst into a sprint. Helen wasn’t convinced, but didn’t know what to say. Whitney dropped her crowbar, and as she bent to pick it up, Seb opened the door to the study.
Darkness.
“…no.”
Panic exploded. Helen grabbed his arms, trying to pull him out. Whitney crawled backwards, closing her eyes and covering her ears. I couldn’t watch. All I heard was Helen, screaming his name, over and over. There was a gargle. A scream turning into an inhuman screech, like a burning pig.
“Sebastian!” Helen kept repeating. “Sebastian! Sebastian!”
There was a click, and then nothing but crying. I looked up to see Helen collapsed against the study door. It had slid shut from the pressure on the other side.
“I’m… I’m coming, Sebby,” she cried. “I’m… I’m-“
She opened the door again.
And there was the study, just as we’d left it.
Helen collapsed on the floor, curling up into a fetal position. She kept making this child-like yowling, scratching the surface of the hardwood floor, as if trying to dig Seb back into reality. But there was nothing left. Not even water droplets on the floor.
Then there were her arms. She’d held on until the door had slammed shut. Her sleeves were torn, and her arms bloody. Not much, but there were these round little suction marks. They were already bruising, with spots of blood poking through the skin.
I sat by Helen as Whitney started rifling through the study. There were more notebooks, more theories, more diaries. Notes about experiments, clever tricks, and attempts. So far, every idea to understand the rules were in vain. We couldn’t make sure. No matter what, we could never be truly sure.
Two open doors. Four closed.
I don’t know how many hours passed. I managed to get Helen to the couch, but she was inconsolable. She could barely comprehend words anymore. She didn’t blink, and she could barely breathe. There were no coherent thoughts in her mind, just… darkness. This awful, soul-sinking darkness.
Whitney propped up the open doors with books and towels, to make sure they wouldn’t accidentally close. All the while, she kept trying to convince herself.
“We keep opening them one by one,” she said. “If we can get it to manifest in one single place, and keep that door open, we should be able to leave by another.”
The sun had started to set outside. For all intents and purposes, this still just looked like a house. The windows were clear, showing the greenery outside. Maybe it was all a lie. Maybe none of it was really happening.
But looking down at Helen, and her unblinking eyes, I knew it was the realest thing I’d ever experienced.
“We… there’s three of us,” I said. “Four doors. We can’t make it.”
“No, that’s perfect,” nodded Whitney. “That’s… we open all but the front door. It manifests. Then we can get out through the one safe remaining door.”
“Unless we all die. There’s nothing that says it can only be in one place.”
“It is implied,” said Whitney. “If you got a better plan, just tell me. But unless you want to starve to death, we gotta-“
“Starve?” I interrupted. “Is that what…”
I looked back at the study, where Whitney said her father had died. No words were necessary. She took a deep breath and nodded.
“He couldn’t bring himself to try,” she said. “So we have to ask ourselves what we want. A long but certain death, or a violent risk at life?”
The fridge, the freezer, and all the cupboards had been cleared out. Whitney found some raisins for us to share while we pondered what to do. Helen couldn’t eat. She stared blankly ahead, waiting for her mind to come wandering back.
It was dark outside. Whitney rolled the bronze key between her fingers.
“I wonder how he did it,” she sighed. “He never made any sense to me.”
“Maybe it doesn’t make sense,” I shrugged. “At least not to us.”
“Then what made him so special?”
“Well, he did have a lot of books,” I said, reaching into a pile we’d gathered from the study. “Just look at some of these.”
“Astrology of Abraham, Channels of Esoteric Geometry…”
“I like this one,” I said, holding up a little red book. “Diary of Emmett Rask.”
“Right. But it doesn’t beat the…”
Whitney pulled out another book from the pile, turning it over.
“… the thirteen faiths of the blameless mother.”
I shook my head, looking over at Helen. A handful of raisins slipped between her fingers. She didn’t even bother closing her hand.
Looking back at Whitney, I sighed.
“You’re right,” I said. “We have to try.”
So we did.
We lined ourselves up on the top floor. Helen on the far right, near the bathroom. I was on the far left, by the guest room. Whitney was in the middle, by the bedroom. Helen didn’t understand. She just mimicked us.
“We’re gonna open on three,” said Whitney. “And no matter what we see, just run. Run downstairs, and just… go. Get out.”
I nodded. Helen didn’t.
“One.”
I tightened my grip. I saw Helen follow my lead, giving me an exhausted look. She could barely keep her eyes open.
“Two.”
I started doubting which way to turn the doorknob. I’d turned a million doorknobs throughout my life, but that was the first time I’d really thought about which way to turn it. I imagined myself hearing water. Bubbles. Distant rumbles. I tried telling myself that it was all imagined. Fake. Tricks of the mind.
But in my heart of hearts, I knew it wasn’t.
“Three.”
We opened our doors.
All I saw was a well-made bed. A bag of toiletries; probably Whitney’s. I left the door open and turned around.
Helen was smiling as the darkness welcomed her.
“Come on!” Whitney screamed. “Leave her!”
The door to the bedroom was open. Clear. But I was standing just ten feet away from an endless abyss. Helen looked at it, as if searching for something. She touched the surface with an outstretched hand.
“Seb, honey,” she cried. “Sebby, please.”
A pulse shot through her. I could see the hair on her arm stand up. Her veins turning black.
“Oh, Sebby…”
In an instant, her flesh unraveled as it flayed itself from the inside out. Her scream stifled as something pulled her in, leaving splotches of blood behind from the outline of her feet. A pained moan escaped her; only to be turned to harmless bubbles in the pressurized void.
Whitney grabbed me by the neck and pulled me downstairs. We ran to the front door. We looked back a final time, just to make sure it was still manifested upstairs.
It was still there. We’d sacrificed Helen, but we’d make it out.
Whitney pulled the front door open – and stopped.
Darkness.
We’d been wrong.
Whitney turned to run as an impossibly long arm grabbed the flesh of her back; straight through her clothes. It pulled her back.
I crawled away, not being able to close my eyes.
“Help me!” she cried out. “For God’s sake fucking help me!”
I shook my head, not knowing what to do. I’ll never forget those desperate eyes. The betrayal. The pleading. She fought every inch of the way. She dug her nails into the hardwood floor. She kicked. She pulled. She screamed. But for every second she stayed, the more painful it was.
With a final snap, the fingers dug into her spine; folding her like a lawn chair.
A lifeless body, dragged across the floor. Unceremoniously pulled into the dark with a quiet squelch.
And the door, slightly damaged by Seb and his crowbar, slid shut.
I was all alone.
The door to the guest bedroom and the main bedroom remained open. There was the bathroom and study downstairs. Just two closed doors left; the bathroom and the front door. Both closed. Both… wrong.
There was no right answer.
I must’ve stayed there for days. I found some trail mix in Whitney’s bag. I had water. I could shower. I had a change of clothes. I scoured the notebooks over and over and over, trying to find the slightest hint on what to do. There had to be some way of knowing for sure. There had to be.
It wasn’t until I came across a final note that I realized it was over. It read;
“By will alone, we cannot make ourselves right. Right is right, independently of our actions and intentions. We cannot control that which never was, and we cannot be part of that which will never be. There could be no more perils for me to face, and yet, I cannot bring myself to leave. There is no certainty in the unknown, and I choose not to live by chance alone.”
I cried myself to sleep at night. I banged on the walls. I even tried opening a window, only to have my left eardrum blown out from the pressure drop. Got a nasty nosebleed as well.
I tried reading. I tried making up little worlds in my head. I imagined myself safe and sound.
But it was useless. In those final hours of desperate loneliness, I knew I couldn’t fool myself any longer.
I was going to die.
I found myself with my hand on the front door. I learned every crease of the wood. The temperature of the metal handle. I listened to it. Studied it. At times, it was quiet. At other times, it wasn’t. Sometimes I imagined it quiet, other times, I imagined voices coming from the other side.
Maybe I wasn’t imagining it.
Finally, I grasped the bronze key. Starving, exhausted, and mentally broken – I opened the front door.
Sunshine.
And there, on the fresh-cut lawn, was another realtor.
Just as confused as I was.
So, turns out I was only in there for about 16 hours total. And to this day, no one seems to remember neither Anders, Seb, Helen, or Whitney. According to every document I can find, the owner of the house had no children. The cars parked outside were unregistered. On paper, it seemed like the entire world had forgotten that these people were ever part of this plane of existence.
I don’t think anyone’s lying here. There was a sincere disbelief and confusion to every piece of my story. To onlookers, I seemed like a squatter that’d gone insane.
I’ve tried to find anything about this. They won’t let me go back to read the notes. The investment firm who owns the real estate company swept it all under a rug and tore the place down. I suspect they were the ones who made the bronze key mysteriously disappear from the evidence room.
I’ve tried to find copies of the books I found in there. Some of them have been seen in passing on strange message boards, and one just keeps making my computer turn off whenever I try to google it. Who the hell is Emmett Rask anyway?
If anyone knew these people, or have heard about this phenomenon, please… I need to know I’m sane. I need to know this isn’t all a dream. I need to know I won’t wake up with my hand on that front door, having imagined living a life back outside.
This has to be real. I am real. There is nothing on the other side of the door.
Go ahead, listen. There’s nothing there.
It can’t be.
Can it?
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2023.06.03 02:51 Striking-Cattle2278 My wife is begging me not to divorce her
My wife 26F is begging me 29M to not divorce. My wife has been extremely controlling and rude all throughout our 1.5 years of marriage. She controlled who I saw and spoke to. I have not seen my wife for four months because we separated. Ever since our separation my life has been so peaceful. I dreaded coming home to her cause she would somehow find a problem to argue about. Four months ago, I decided I had enough when she got mad at my sister for coming to the apartment. I was sick and she was just bringing me some soup. My wife was not doing anything to take care of me (I didn't say this to my sister). My sister was just coming to bring me soup and then leave because she had plans. She yelled at my sister because she thinks that my sister thinks she can't take care of me. She told my sister to not come back and poured her soup down the drain. This made me very angry which led to an argument with my wife. So I left to my parents house. I stayed there for about a week and didn't answer any of her calls or messages. My sisters and my parents told me to go back and fix things with my wife. However, I did not have any interest in fixing this. After about a week, I went back to the apartment to tell my wife that we should separate. She refused but I told her that it was either divorce or separation(to hopefully fix this). She ended up leaving to her family's house and I haven't seen her since. We have spoken over the phone but we always ended up fighting or being angry with each other. Right now it has been about 4 months since she's left and I called her last week to tell her that we should divorce. She cried and cried for me not divorce her but this marriage has made me so unhappy. I haven't felt this sort of happiness since before I married her. Now her family is also begging me to not divorce her but I am actually repulsed by her. I don't even find her attractive anymore.
I found out that the women I was supposed to marry before my wife is single. She was suppose to marry her cousin because of pressure from her family but she ended up not marrying him. I have also heard that she still talks about me so I have hope that we could end up being married. Knowing this has given me more reason to divorce my wife. Obviously I'm not going to tell my wife this but a divorce from her would make me this happiest man alive. I have no interest in fixing my horrible marriage but everyone including my own family wants me to. How do I make it clear that there is no fixing this marriage without embarrassing her? My wife call me daily but I don't answer. I plan on visiting her family house to divorce her but I don't even think they'd let me get a word out. I just want to move on.
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2023.06.03 02:50 TheBonesOfAutumn In the 1970’s, two unrelated deaths occurred within the confines of a small home that once stood along Lawrence County, Indiana’s Ramsey Ridge Road. Referred to by locals as “The Mysteries of Skin Ridge,” this is the story of the unusual deaths of Dennis McArthur, and Gerry Lee.
Nestled in northern Lawrence County, Indiana, just six miles from Bedford, lies Ramsey Ridge Road. Just under three miles in length, the rural pathway once referred to as “Skin Ridge'' winds through the sparsely populated area’s dense woods atop a hill overlooking Little Salt Creek and nearby Bartlettsville. In the 1970’s, two completely unrelated deaths occurred within the confines of a modest green house that once stood along the ridge. Referred to by locals as “The Mysteries of Skin Ridge,” this is the story of the unusual deaths of Dennis McArthur, and Gerry Lee.
Dennis McArthur
On April 11, 1976, 44-year-old Pearl McArthur returned home after a lengthy stay at Madison State Hospital. Pearl, who would later be diagnosed with schizophrenia, had committed herself to the hospital in early December, leaving her 18-year-old son, Dennis, to care for the house in her absence. Accompanied by her 23-year-old daughter, April, who lived in nearby Bedford with her husband Gary, Pearl made her way inside the small two-story farmhouse.
Inside, Pearl and April found the home in complete disarray. Trash laid strewed about, lamps and furniture were overturned, and the stove was caved in, its exhaust pipe torn from the wall. It was unusually cold inside as though no heat had been recently used, and a strange smell permeated the air.
Alarmed, Pearl and April began to frantically search for Dennis. As they made their way over to a small couch located in a bedroom on the second floor, they noticed a pile of blankets lying on the sofa. As Pearl peeled back the layer of quilts, she was met with a horrific scene; Dennis’s decomposed body lay beneath the bedding. They immediately summoned police.
Dennis was found in a fetal position on the couch, facing inwards. Although covered by quilts, he was nude from the waist down. The coroner estimated he had died one to two months prior, however the cold weather had, in part, delayed the decomposition process making it difficult to give an exact time of death. During an autopsy, it was discovered that Dennis was severely emaciated, to the point of starvation. No evidence of external or internal injuries were found.
Police discovered several bottles of pills in the home; vitamins used for energy, an antidepressant, and a drug used in the treatment of Parkinson’s disease. All of the pills were prescribed to Pearl, and were still relatively full. A toxicology test was conducted and proved negative, however the state pathologist who performed the test admitted that the test was incapable of detecting substances such as LSD. He also explained due to the amount of time that had passed since his death, the tests might not be one hundred percent accurate. Dennis’ cause of death was listed as malnutrition and exposure.
Investigators found several clues at the scene that struck them as odd. Although the cabin appeared ransacked, nothing seemed to be missing, including a small amount of money that was found within the disheveled home. Along with money, a small amount of, now spoiled, food was found in the cabinets and refrigerator. An upstairs window was found to be broken from the inside. Also upstairs, investigators discovered several large pools of blood, including one beside the couch where Dennis’ body was found. They also found blood on the backside of the couch, on a rug, and on the kitchen door frame, along with splatter on a wall. Testing confirmed the blood to be human.
Dennis was well known to both police and the county’s social workers. His mother, Pearl, was frequently in and out of mental institutions leaving Dennis and his two siblings to fend for themselves. The children’s father, Walter, had abandoned the family and moved to Georgia years prior. In 1972, Dennis was arrested for theft and truancy. That same year, he was expelled from school and never returned.
He was again arrested in 1973, this time for driving without a license, fleeing from police, possession of alcohol, and curfew violation. After his release, Dennis was sent to live with a man named Al Hagopian, a case worker for the Youth Services Bureau. Al was quoted as saying; “Finding him a place to stay was hard. The house where he had been staying was pretty grubby, and the state thought he was too young to live alone. His mother was in and out of hospitals a lot and he worried about her constantly. He didn’t want to return home, but said he had to go back to help care for his mother.”
Al discovered that Dennis “read and wrote backwards,” and was “practically illiterate.” After reviewing Dennis’ school records, he found multiple instances where teachers labeled Dennis as having disciplinary problems when it came to schoolwork, however not once did they mention he had a clear learning disability. Al further explained that attempts to secure employment for Dennis were nearly never successful. Aside from being unable to read or write, he had no vehicle. He also had no stable address or phone number and was oftentimes dirty and dressed in near rags.
Dennis’ unfair hand he had been dealt did not stop him from trying to act like an average kid most of the time, Al added. He explained that Dennis had an interest in cars, enjoyed hanging out with his friends, and was always chasing girls. He had also told Al he wanted to someday save up enough money for a new guitar, as he loved to play music. Al admitted that Dennis was also into the “street scene” and had dabbled in drugs and alcohol. Dennis returned home after two months of living with Al.
In 1974, after another arrest and his subsequent release from a youth detention center, Dennis went to live with his father for a short time. Dennis’ arrest had made headlines when it was learned the young man had been kept with adult men for a long period before being transferred to the youth detention center. Dennis and Walter reportedly couldn’t get along, however, and Dennis ran away to Florida. He lived there for a few months, washing cars to make money, before returning to the home on Ramsey Ridge in Indiana in 1975. He was again arrested, this time in Bloomington, Indiana for carrying a concealed weapon, alcohol consumption, and curfew violation. At the time of Dennis’ death, the charges against him were still pending.
According to his sister, April, she had gone to visit Dennis at the home on Ramsey Ridge on Christmas Eve. April said Dennis was sitting on the couch, playing his guitar. He also showed her a new rug he had purchased for the home. According to her, he seemed his usual self and the home was clean. April offered him some money, however Dennis refused claiming he had enough to get by.
Lucy Lively, an aunt of Dennis’ who lived “within hollering distance,” claimed she entered the home on February 1st to turn off a lamp that had been left burning. While she did not see Dennis, she claimed the home's interior was in normal order. Joe McArthur, Dennis’ paternal grandfather who also lived nearby, said it was not unusual for Dennis to disappear for long periods, so he thought nothing of the youths' absence as of late.
When Walter, Dennis’ father, was informed of his son's death, he informed police that Dennis, along with two male friends, had come to visit him in Georgia in mid December. He gave a description of the two teens and told police they had been introduced to him as “John Boy'' and “Blonde John.”
Police were able to track down “Blonde John” who was identified as 18-year-old John Fonk of Bloomington, Indiana. John told investigators that he and Dennis had driven to Florida together in October, not December, as Walter had stated. John explained they had stopped by Walter’s home in Georgia on their way back home. He was confident in the date as he had joined the Air Force in December. He also explained that “John Boy” had been a hitchhiker they had picked up along the way. According to John, “John Boy” rode back to Indiana with the pair, but he had not seen him, or Dennis since. He described him as being in his mid 20’s. After learning of the discrepancy in Walter’s story, police again tried to contact him, however phone calls and letters went unanswered. Unfortunately, they were never able to identify “John Boy.”
Further questioning of social services showed that Pearl had filled several grocery orders provided by state services, however the orders ceased when she had been again hospitalized. Eventually the Lawrence County Welfare Office had taken control and promised to look in on Dennis, however they could provide no evidence they had followed up on the case. They suggested that Dennis, overwhelmed with his impoverished lifestyle, had simply starved himself to the point of being comatose, before succumbing to the harsh cold of winter. They were quoted as saying “We were aware of him of course, but he never came to us. We don’t go looking for people if they don’t come to us for help. Now if he had, we would have done something.”
The local sheriff as well as members of Dennis’ family were unsatisfied with Dennis’ listed cause of death and continued to pursue the investigation for several months. Unfortunately due to a lack of funds, more elaborate tests that may have presented some clue as to how Dennis died could not be conducted. Sheriff Robbins was quoted as saying, “This is a very disturbing mystery, because even if someone confessed to killing him, I doubt we would have the evidence to prove it. But it sure is hard to believe he could kill himself like that, by just laying down and dying. We aren’t closing the case, it will remain open. But until we have something more to go on, there’s not much more we can do at this point.”
Dennis was laid to rest at Heltonville’s Gilgal Cemetery. Few attended the modest closed casket funeral and subsequent burial. One journalist gave a last description of Dennis’ final resting place,
“The dogwood trees are in full bloom on the hillsides of Gilgal Cemetery, and though Dennis’ body now rests peacefully beneath a carpet of fallen petals, his soul will surely never rest until the reasons behind his death are discovered.”
Pearl, Dennis’ mother, passed away in 2000 at the age of 67. Walter, Dennis’ father, died in 1988. His sister, April, passed away suddenly in 2006 at the age of 53. Dennis also had an older brother, Gordon, who passed away in 1994 at the age of 42.
Gerry Lee
On the evening of May 28, 1978, police were again summoned to the little green house on Ramsey Ridge. The home was now occupied by 27-year-old Gerry Lee, a divorced self employed carpenter, and his roommate, 25-year-old Michael Davis. When police arrived, Michael informed them that Gerry had committed suicide.
Gerry was found hanging from a maple tree located 20 feet from the home's front porch. The rope had been tied off to a branch approximately 10 feet above the ground and fashioned into a noose. His feet were found to be touching the ground, and his knees were bent. Blood was discovered on Gerry’s hands and pants, despite having suffered no visible wounds. An autopsy would reveal that Gerry had died of asphyxiation as a result of a fracture to his cricoid cartilage located at the base of his larynx. The coroner stated this was not an injury normally associated with suicidal hangings, but instead blunt force trauma to the throat. Inside, more blood was found on a television set, the phone, and on the kitchen floor. A window on the home's back door had been broken from the outside, leaving shards of glass lying on the kitchen floor.
When questioned, Michael gave an explanation for the unusual findings. He claimed that he, Gerry, and two other friends, Mike Oakly and Roberta Chandler, had spent the day in nearby Bedford before the foursome returned to the home on Ramsey Ridge. There, Michael told police that he and Gerry got into a “friendly scuffle” that resulted in Michael falling into the window in the kitchen. He suffered a deep laceration to his forehead that left him bleeding profusely.
According to Michael, Roberta and Mike accompanied him to seek medical treatment in Bedford, while Gerry stayed behind at home. Michael returned home alone from the hospital, having left Roberta and Mike in town. It was then he discovered Gerry’s body and summoned police. He added that that evening Gerry had threatened to shoot himself multiple times with one of the loaded guns kept in the home.
When Roberta and Mike were taken in for questioning, they gave similar accounts of the night's events. Both were released. Aside from having a visible wound, medical staff confirmed Michael had been to the hospital that evening, having sought treatment for a laceration to his forehead.
Still, both the prosecutor and the county coroner stated they were not entirely satisfied with a verdict of suicide. The coroner stated “Some things have not fallen into place like they should with a suicide case. Although it looks as though it could be a suicide, there are so many angles that do not fit in with the suicide verdict.” The prosecutor agreed, “I’m not satisfied with how the investigation was handled,” he said, “and there are still a lot of unanswered questions. Several months later, Gerry’s case was brought before a grand jury who ultimately returned a verdict of “probable suicide.”
Gerry was laid to rest in Bedford’s Breckenridge Cemetery. Despite his death being declared a suicide, many locals, including Gerry’s friends and neighbors, continued to believe that something more sinister may have happened that evening, and the suicide was in fact staged. The community’s more superstitious elders shared a similar belief, however adding that a “strange ethereal force” inhabited the room where Gerry once slept, and where two years prior the body of Dennis had been discovered.
Whatever your opinion may be, it seems for some the books will never fully be closed on “The Mysteries of Skin Ridge.”
Sources
Newspaper Clippings, Death Certificates, Photos-
https://imgur.com/a/4kQ3rEl Find a Grave Dennis-
https://www.findagrave.com/memorial/63100083/dennis-scott-mcarthur Find a Grave Pearl-
https://www.findagrave.com/memorial/254365281/pearl-m-mcarthur?createdMemorial=Yes Find a Grave Walter-
https://www.findagrave.com/memorial/80652726/walter-rufus-mcarthur Find a Grave Gerry-
https://www.findagrave.com/memorial/47074796/gerry-wayne-lee National Library of Medicine-
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/22442828/#:~:text=Overall%2C%20neck%20structures%20fractures%20were,the%20cricoid%20cartilage%20of%2020.6%25. submitted by
TheBonesOfAutumn to
UnresolvedMysteries [link] [comments]
2023.06.03 02:47 TLMoonBear Let’s talk about learning to get good at Abyss
What makes the Abyss hard?
There are many complaints about the Abyss. One particular complaint that commonly appears is the Abyss being “hard” or having “unfair mechanics”.
Tackling difficult content requires players having an understanding of how game mechanics and how players can express skill. Without this, players cannot actually engage with the challenge game designers come up with.
I believe many (but not all) complaints about Abyss combat are due to low player understanding of skill expression. This is due to several reasons:
1. Outside of Abyss there's very little actual content that requires you to be good at the game
- This means there are very few places for players to actually practise game mechanics
- Event combat is often designed to be facerolled to avoid players being locked out of Primogem and Event currency rewards
- The game also does a poor job of explaining the technical details of game basics such as elemental reactions
2. Genshin gives you very little feedback when you fail in the Abyss
- When you get stunlocked by something, do you know why?
- If you fail a Floor by just 2 seconds, do you know where you might have made a 2 sec mistake when playing the game?
- The Abyss therefore becomes frustrating because people don’t know what they have done wrong or how to improve
- People are willing to take on frustrating repetitive tasks and find it fun doing so (e.g. roguelike games learning from failure)
- But this requires either players to be good at identifying their own mistakes, or the game giving you clear feedback about what those mistakes are
3. Content creators don’t focus on this topic enough
- The level of understanding within a playerbase is dependent on the content created around the game itself (i.e. paratext)
- Many content creators don’t discuss gameplay skill in detail (potentially for many reasons such as lack of their own skill, inability to explain it, or lack of popularity of this type of content)
- For example, most discussion about being a “good player” is about knowing what the right team compositions and artifacts are. But not fundamental gameplay skills such as AI manipulation
- The result is the equivalent of people trying to be a good player in League of Legends / DotA by knowing what the best character to pick or the best items to buy, but not knowing the basics of last hitting and wave management
- Or not knowing how to play neutral in a fighting game but obsessing over knowing every single combo for a character
So let’s talk about what some key gameplay techniques are for Genshin. And then I’ll walk through Abyss design and how to think about beating the Abyss.
I will assume you are already familiar with basic techniques such as funnelling energy particles, and using I-Frames from Bursts / Dashes.
Key gameplay skills to learn
1. Grouping
Key idea: Killing multiple enemies is often as fast as killing one enemy if they all stand in the same place, saving you time
Even when using an Anemo character, the AI can be manipulated to group themselves together. This makes killing them much faster.
The core idea is that if the enemy isn’t in range to hit you, it will try to walk forward to do so. Therefore, you can position yourself in a way to encourage the AI to move together. This avoids you having to chase them around and waste time.
How to do this: When a pack of enemies spawns, move to one extreme side of them. The enemies on the opposite side will walk closer to get in range and bunch up together.
An easy trick: The first time you do an unknown Abyss layout, just load and don’t even try to fight it. Watch where enemies spawn, and how long their attack range is. This lets you observe if there are any grouping tricks you can abuse.
Example: Spiral Abyss Patch 3.4 Floor 12-2-2 (2 min 28 sec onwards) After blowing up Wave 1 with Raiden, the player runs to the far left side of the Abyss. This causes Wave 2 of the Husks to begin to group up.
Running to the opposite side of the Abyss then gets the Husks to all stand right next to each other perfectly. This zig-zag manoeuvre means they can be extremely efficiently AoE’ed down much faster.
2. Camera Angle Management
Key idea: Always stand in a position where you can see all enemies. This means you can never be surprised by
an attack from off-screen.
If the enemies are always in front of you, you can watch for the most important attacks to either Dash or cast Bursts to immune the damage / knockback.
You should never be in a position where you are hit by an attack you did not see coming.
How to do this: The easiest way to do this in the Spiral Abyss is to stand with your back towards a wall and the enemies in front of you.
Example: Spiral Abyss Patch 2.7 Floor 12-2-1 (1 min 50 sec onwards) The player immediately runs to the back wall of the Spiral Abyss. This means despite enemies spawning in a circle around the starting point, everything can be seen by the player camera.
This has the benefit of grouping everything up to eat AoE and die efficiently.
After Wave 1 dies, the player always looks at the Cryo Slime facing the Frost Lawlachurl. Always keeping the Lawlachurl in front of them means every attack is extremely telegraphed and can be casually dodged for a clean kill.
3. Stamina Management
Key idea: Keep enough Stamina so you can always dodge important attacks.
Melee characters must trade their Stamina for distance and speed to clear fast. Therefore, you want to position carefully in the Abyss to minimize the distance you have to travel.
(This is also why Yoimiya is sometimes favoured over Hu Tao at very high levels of investment. If you are strong enough to one-rotate things anyway, the range advantage means you spend no stamina attacking enemies that spawn far away from each other instead of needing to chase them down)
How to do this: Know where enemies spawn. Kite towards spawn locations so you don’t spend time and stamina chasing up with enemies.
If you face enemies that charge you, stand with your back to a wall. The enemies will charge into a wall. This way you don’t need to chase after them.
Example: Spiral Abyss Patch 3.4 Floor 12-1-1 and Floor 12-2-1 (1 min 40 sec onwards) On Floor 12-1-1, the player knows where all enemies are spawning. They move in a way that minimizes stamina usage and can spawn camp the enemy.
On Floor 12-2-2, the player stands with the wall at their back when the Consecrated Beasts spawn. This means they charge towards the player. Camera angle management means the attack is extremely obvious and easily I-Framed.
Keeping both Beasts near the wall means they can be easily AoE’ed down for a quick kill.
4. Pre-cast long animation Skills / Bursts
Key idea: Bursts take up time. Cast the ones with long animations when enemies have downtime so you don’t use up your DPS window.
Enemies that are targetable can also be cheesed by hitting them for some extra Energy from skills / Favonius procs.
How to do this: Many enemies have animations for spawning into the Abyss. Instead of waiting for them to spawn in, use the time to set up things such as Nahida Burst so you minimize the time not spent doing dps.
Example: Spiral Abyss Patch 3.4 Floor 12-2-2 (3 min 55 sec onwards) By the time Dorito King ASIMON has even fully loaded into the Abyss, the player has already set up Yae turrets, Nahida E and Burst, and funnelled energy on Yelan to get back her Burst.
Learning the 3.7 Abyss specifics
1. Overview of Abyss design
Mihoyo creates Abyss layouts to encourage or discourage a specific type of gameplay, or put pressure on team compositions.
The most common approach is creating one side with an AoE mob focus vs one side with a Boss killing focus.
However, more recently Mihoyo has been introducing specific challenges to target specific ways players play teams.
- Patch 3.4 Abyss Floor 12-1-1 has 4 waves of single target enemies. This is designed to target Burst focused teams such as Ayaka Freeze.
- Hyperbloom and Nilou Bloom are broken because the base numbers are too high and Mihoyo knows this. So we have seen an introduction of many Dendro-resistant enemies to slow down low investment teams.
- The Wenut punishes teams with long set up times by having on / off DPS windows. This rewards players to move towards more flexible rotations or teams which have more front loaded DPS windows.
The reason Mihoyo does this is because it's one of the few ways they can balance content in the game. They can't retroactively buff / nerf things. So the primary lever they have is to create Abyss designs that encourage or discourage certain types of play.
2. 3.7 Abyss Design
The 3.7 Abyss is structured as a team composition building test. It rewards players who have built a variety of characters they can flex, and punishes people who have narrow character pools.
Right Side: The Shield Breaking Challenge
- If you want to use the same team for all Floors and not do the method where you rerun the Abyss with different teams to get 3-Stars per floor, the Right side pretty much demands a Hydro, Pyro, and Dendro char
- Bennett is the premier Cryo shield breaker thanks to 2U Pyro application on both Burst case and Press-E spam standing in Burst. Therefore the double Cryo Lector right side is designed to be a Bennett “sink” for players.
- This means you are pressured to play Bennett-less teams Left side
- The DPS check on the right side is fairly low. Therefore, it is worth breaking up “traditional” teams to fit in a dedicated shield breaker
- The most popular teams in CN therefore include wonders such as:
- Hutao with yolo Nahida
- Nahida National
- Hyperbloom with yolo Bennett
- The challenge on Right side is therefore about player skill and execution. The lollygag of random teams allows for significant player creativity (e.g. Yanfei Hyperbloom).
Left Side: The Time and Character Pool Challenge
- The Right side forces high demand characters such as Nahida and Bennett to be broken up and used in dedicated shield breaking roles
- The Left side therefore asks: “Hey, who do you have left to run the DPS gauntlet?”
- The multiple Dendro resistant enemies (Dendro Chicken and Dendro Tigers) are here to prevent you from answering “My low investment yolo Hyperbloom team made from random F2P chars”
- There are otherwise few constraints on team building here. Ideally you should just play whatever your strongest remaining characters are.
- The split of AoE mobs Floor 12-1-1 and a Boss on Floor 12-2-1 partially punishes players that cannot group efficiently or have a very strong team
- However, because you can just rerun the Abyss with different teams and the game only looks at your best clear per Floor, this is not that big of a deal
3. Floor specific advice
Floor 12-1-1
- This Floor is designed as a time killer floor to make you feel pressured on Floor 12-1-2
- By making you chew through 4 waves, it challenges your potentially crippled team (if your good chars were Bennett / Nahida / etc. and are stuck Right side)
- The difficulty is not the enemies, but using time saving techniques to efficiently clear each wave
Grouping techniques: - If you have a team that can stay in the middle (e.g. Ayaka Freeze) you can just Kazuha or Venti everything and yolo this floor
- If you want to play it safe, turn 180 degrees and run to the South wall to lure the Whopperflowers all to you and AoE both waves down
- The first wave of Dorito Robots spawn at the South side. So running South at the start means you walk a very short distance North to then kill them when they spawn. Better for Stamina management than doing grouping in other directions
- Second wave spawns North of you, but will also filter in one by one as you kill the robots. So preferably want to kill first wave all in one go so second wave spawns in a nice Kazuha groupable bunch rather than wandering around
- If you don’t have Kazuha, run to the East / West
- The Whopperflowers will still chase you. But the Dorito Robots will spawn in a line in front of you, causing the far back robots to move forward and group with the Robot closest to you
- See this solo clear as an example for positioning
Floor 12-1-2
- Shield breaking floor does shield breaking things
- This floor is designed as an execution challenge
- The biggest problem on this floor is Stamina management.
- The Cryo Lectors will reduce your Stamina so you can't just mindlessly dash around or else you end up with zero Stamina, Cryo on you (reducing your speed), and then the Lector fun house bouncy castle spin ride will stun lock you
- If you get stun locked, this is 100% your own fault and a skill issue
- Use camera angle management to never be hit by something off-screen
- Lector moves are actually very telegraphed. So you goal is to keep them on-screen, and watch for any dangerous moves
- Bennett is very clutch here because the self-Pyro application on your Ult will clear away any Hydro / Cryo on you preventing you from getting frozen
- Jean is also good here for that reason, and with Bennett can Sunfire down the Lectors very fast
- Abyss Mages are whatever. They spawn in front of you and you just nuke them
- Lectors spawn behind you. When you face backwards to run to the Lectors, Hydro Lector is on the right (mirror-ing the Abyss Mage Left / Right)
Nahida National comments: - Cryo Lector shields have 56 Cryo gauge units. This means you need 28 Pyro units to break them fully.
- Xiangling Pyronado is 1U Pyro with no ICD and hits 13 times for nearly half your Pyro needed
- Guoba applies 1U Pyro in an AoE with no ICD. 3 hits = 3U Pyro
- Bennett Burst is 2U + 2U per E in Burst for up to 5x2 = 10U extra Pyro for 12U more Pyro
- 13 + 3 + 12 = 28 so just a single National rotation here deletes both Cryo Lectors from existence
- So ideally you want to position so that both Cryo Lectors to sit on your face and eat AoE Pyro for a fast double kill
- Hydro Lector shields have 28 Hydro gauge units. This means you need 14 Dendro units to break them fully
- My preference is to run to the right and fight the Hydro Lector first to put it into shield mode fast so then Nahida E procs while you’re killing the Cryo Lectors will auto-kill the Hydro Lector for you
- Nahida E applies 1U on skill application and 1.5U per Tri-Karma proc per 2.5 sec
- Nahida N1C is another 2U
- So a quick E N1C means you only need 7 Tri-Karma procs over 17.5 sec to erase the Hydro Lector
- Completely doable while you beat up the Cryo Lectors since a Xiangling rotation is 20 sec so it lines up very cleanly.
Floor 12-2-1
- Mushroom Chicken is mushroom chicken
- This is a big dumb boss with highly telegraphed moves and you’ve faced this before
- If you're using a yolo team Right side for shield breaking, saving time here is huge to give you more time breathing room for fk ups on Right side
Floor 12-2-2
- Thunder Manifestation returns. Does Thunder Manifestation things.
- It has a set attack pattern where it does set up -> Collapsing Wall -> Beyblade x2 -> Homing Cage -> Repeat
- Take advantage of this and don't waste your Stamina chasing after it if you don't need to
- It takes a pause before each move. This is your DPS window if you are melee / short ranged
Floor 12-3-1
- Consecrated Beasts x4 doing what they do best
- Stick to the Hydro beast. The Tiger will try to keep leaping towards you, but the Crocodile does not really care / its targeting doesn't track you very well
- You can wall hug for better camera management as well as less chasing by making them charge into the wall behind you
- One approach is to lure them towards the wall by positioning yourself in between the Crocodile and the wall and kiting backwards and letting them chase into the wall
- The key to this fight is careful positioning
- Good positioning = Don’t die to something you can’t see = Easier to dodge attacks
- Keeping them close together = Easier to DPS down
- The Hydro Crocodile will spawn on the East on Wave 1 but West on Wave 2
- However, if you’re hugging the East wall when the Crocodile spawns, its first move will be to gap close towards you anyway
- Iniquitous Baptist is a pushover. So you can afford to spend 2 min (or even a little bit longer) on this Floor if you need to
Floor 12-3-2
- Iniquitous Baptist is basically Simon Says Shieldbreaking
- Pattern is always Cryo -> Hydro -> Pyro -> Repeat
- Shield Gauge Units:
- Cryo Shield is 12 gauge units requiring 6U Pyro or 12U Electro
- Hydro Shield is 12 gauge units requiring 6U Dendro or 12U Cryo to break
- Pyro Shield is 12 gauge units requiring 6U Hydro or 12U Electo to break
- Use the initial spawning in animation to funnel some energy or pre-case Bursts if you need it since it is targetable
- It has surprisingly low HP… just match damage to its shield type and the fight is pretty free
- The Iniquitous Baptist has about 4 sec vulnerability after each Shield phase, and then about 10 sec after all Shields are down before it repeats the Shield cycle
Nahida National comments: - You can delay your full rotation until it fully spawns. Xiangling can snapshot Nahida Burst EM buff so that’s the big one to pre-cast
- Bennet 2U Burst -> 2U E -> Xiangling Burst + Guoba almost instantly crushes the Cryo phase
- Nahida Charge Attack can be animation cancelled quite early if you want to really shave like half a second every Normal Attack pattern
- You can also delay casting Xingqiu Ult until after you've done Bennett + Xiangling. You don't need Hydro to break the first few shields, and it will give you some extra uptime to clear Pyro shield faster
- Stand close and hug the Lector so Xingqiu orbiting Rainswords can also eat elemental gauge for you while you attack
- Don’t hold your skills after the first Cycle. Just go to town and DPS it since the Cryo phase dies so fast to Xiangling Pyronado + Guoba + Bennett E anyway to get to the post-Cryo Shield DPS window to fill it faster
GL HF clearing the Abyss~! (。•̀ᴗ-)✧
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2023.06.03 02:44 Background-Joke-7886 Hate my house and my life kinda too.
Hello everyone. Please dont judge me but i absolutely hate my house. I cant stand it. I am beyond grateful to have hot water, a warm bed, a roof over my head. I know many others do not have. Im not being abuse or anything so I'm not sure why I hate it so much. I try to practice gratutude but I can't take it. Im also an only child and when im home alone i get stir crazy. If i spend to much time home i end up having a full blown panic attack. recently ive been sleeping in the living room because my room feels to claustrophobic i feel like the walls are closing in. I've tried cleaning the room organizing and decorating and buying pretty white curtains but once I get in the room and close the door its so isolating I cant stand it. Theres nothing to do in the house and my mom is rarely home because she works and when she is home shes only sleeping. I just sit and watch tv and try to clean and organize and do my work but it becomes so overwhelming I feel so fucking trapped its insane. Recently I have absolutely hated hated hated being home. Today its raining and I am going insane I want to take a walk but theres a thunderstorm. The apartment is so dark and disorganized I try to clean up and buy furniture when I can but im only 20 and I'm also a full time student so sometimes things do go to plan. If the home is messy the feeling of dread and doom is even worse I can't even function i Just cry. Its so small and we barely have air conditioning no matter how many air conditioners we buy. The floors are also falling apart and my mom never calls the landlord to fix it. I don't bring many friends over due to the state of the house. I want to move out but I am going to college and I am child to a single mother I don't have much income to stretch. I work two jobs but there is only so much I can do. I feel so trapped. In the winter its even worse. I wanted to move to a warmer state but I got rejected from my choice school and the state I am in has very good biology programs so, it didn't make sense to go anywhere else. Even as I type this I am trapped I feel so stuck its fucking awful I can't take it anymore. I applied to dorm housing and the worst part is my mom doesn't want me to move which I don't understand because I am miserable in this terrible house I can't take it. We aren't allowed to have pets or anything in this apartment it's just a brick box its so terrible and overwhelming. Im often the only one cleaning because my mom never cleans and we didn't have a couch for years. Often when I think about it I just get angry. I try so hard to ignore it and be grateful but I can't take it anymore. Please help me I don't know what to do anymore I am honestly miserable.
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2023.06.03 02:41 No-Ride-Throwaway My parents apologized, my sister did not. At least at first....
A week ago I made this throwaway account to ask AITA a question I was found to be anything but TA in. I have too much to say to post in AITA as an update. So a friend recommended I come here. My
posting on AITA essentially opened a Pandora's Box in the family. Basically, my parents and older sister had become VERY comfortable with me helping with the childcare of my young triplet nephews. I didn't leave home till I was 22 because I was trying to save money while also going to college. A scholarship covered a lot, and living at home kept me from getting rising debt due to my working part time as well. I'm very thankful for this. However after college everyone just seemed to act like I had endless time on my hands, and convinced me along on a family vacation. In this so-called vacation, I was forced to babysit my three at the time 6 year old nephews. I even had to share a hotel room with them. And believe me, those kids did not listen to a damn thing I said on the first night until I called their mother, TWICE! And I was treated like the bad guy for wanting to do other things during the trip. Like if it's something the family doesn't enjoy as a whole, then it doesn't happen. Which was extremely hypocritical because I'm family and wasn't included in that vote. And you can bet I aired this grievance with my parents after my last post. And they have acknowledged being in the wrong.
After that awful vacation last year, I decided it was time to move out. And did so before the summer even ended. Which surprised everyone as I gave them no warning. I'd landed a great job pretty much right after college thanks to an internship, and used moving as an excuse to drop my commute from 45 minutes, to 15. My sister hated this the most because it meant no more free babysitting on weekends. But she still tried to make me do it. I caved sometimes. Usually by being bribed with pizza. And this sort of became a new norm. But then last month my parents announced plans for another family vacation to the same place along the coast. And they basically wanted it to go the same way. I immediately saw it for what it was. A trap! I knew that if I rode with my parents and let them buy the hotel rooms, I would be screwed over the same way as last time. So I just casually stated I'd drive myself and pay for myself. And that's when the shit-storm started.
When my parents realized they couldn't entrap me like before, they resorted to borderline begging. And my sister practically tried to order me to go with the flow through gaslighting. News-flash, I didn't! After I didn't cave to my sister's demands, I made the AITA post after days of harassment. And then my sister somehow spotted that post in less than an hour. What followed was Pandora's Box. At first the family was against me. My sister called our parents, and they called me when I still had a little time to talk in the morning. My parents were on the phone with me while also reading my post. I asked them if anything in the post was a lie. They sort of steered around it and called the post an exaggeration. But I pointed out numerous details that made it pretty much on the mark. Then I told them to check the comments. There were already far too many to read. I was repeatedly refreshing the page on my home PC and telling them how many comments there were. Then I told them I was sick of their mentality of keeping the peace by forcing me to placate my sister. Then I said I was out of time and we would have to resume this later. Well my parents were positively horrified that hundreds, if not thousands of people were commenting in a matter of hours. And later on I told them that the numbers had basically doubled, and were still growing. Which only added to their horror. So I guess they were forced to take a long look at their own actions.
My sister tried to call me to bitch while I was at work. But my phone was on silent till my lunch break, so all she could do was leave messages and texts. But she was persistent and managed to get through to me when I was eating my lunch. The gist of the conversation was my post had taken our parents away from her side. And now they were mad at her. In the ensuing argument between them, my parents canceled the entire vacation. Yes they later acknowledged they just passed the blame out of embarrassment. And have fully accepted fault. They told me no excuses could excuse the fact they made me their go-to free babysitter when I wasn't even living at home anymore. They did try to backtrack a little by pointing out they never charged me rent while I was in college. But I reminded them kids don't ask to be born, and I was doing my hardest to make my own way. Then I pointed out my father had the same kind of leg up from his parents. They let him live free of charge at home while he was in college. That basically ended any argument my parents had left.
When my sister managed to call me at lunch, I presented the facts to her. And she showed her true colors. She implied that I have no life, and that my free time on weekends should be spent helping her because she is tired and unable to even go out without bringing her children with her unless someone is watching them. She is a stay at home mother with a husband that makes a decent salary. They live in a pretty decent house that's owned, not rented. And to be frank, my nephews aren't really my responsibility. They just forced them on me and expected it to stay that way. My sister angrily hung up on me. But I'd recorded the call and then played it to my parents later. They were furious. And they basically went to war with my sister. My sister dug her heels in, blamed me, and then doubled down on her belief my life should circle around hers. I told her that was the most narcissistic and entitled thing she's ever said about me. It took days, but her husband finally stepped in, and forced her to apologize to me. I'd never seen her cowed like that by anyone. But she was on the verge of crying.
It ended up being admitted that one of the reasons I was the go-to babysitter was because my sister didn't trust strangers. It was never about the money. Or was it? Actually, my brother in law thought my sister was paying me for my time watching her kids after I moved out of my parents' house. She didn't even give me gas money. Just gave me cash that was enough to order pizza for both myself and the kids, and pocketed the rest. My sister had been short-changing me for months. He blew up at her when this came out during her half-assed apology, and she was forced to pay me what she owed me in cash entirely from her own savings, which she looked very sore about. Then my brother in law apologized to me for his own inaction in letting my sister walk all over me, and promised they'd get a normal babysitter from now on. Yes it'll cause a bit of a drop in the bucket for them. But my sister will be getting date nights back. Then came the family meeting the other day's evening. We all gathered up at my parents' house, and everything was laid bare. Apologies all around, and what-not.
Then my parents reinstated the family vacation. And yes, I still plan to drive myself and pay for my own hotel stay. I'll even stay in a completely different hotel if my sister tries to revert me to child care. And I have stated this. She's promised me that won't happen. And if I don't update again after the vacation in another month or so, then you'll all know everything is fine.
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2023.06.03 02:11 A_FamousNobody Im scared of the future.
I don’t think anyone will read this cause it doesn’t have a grabbing title like “big titty bimbo said yes to prom night!” Or something stupid like “chees3” but here it goes
Im graduating next Monday, I’m an immigrant, I can’t even get a job at McDonald’s if I wanted to. Im scared.
Firstly, my dogs, my family owns 2 dogs and one of them is my brothers and the other mine, I love her so much, the worst and best 3 years of my life, but we can’t take care of her anymore. Let me explain
My brother and father work in a moving company, they have a boss and are simply just workers but they took a leap of faith, one that doesn’t have my 100% approval. They quit and have about a week left of working there, with my mom and sister they plan on starting a local moving company, they’ve got the paperwork all set but frankly I don’t trust any 4 of them to be smart with the business, they were business people back in our old country but that was much different than the US.
Anyways, they plan on roping me in there as a worker and I’m all for it but that would mean that work days possibility stretching out to be 12 hours long we can’t keep our dogs locked up in our apartment, my mom knows a guy who knows a guy who’s willing to take both of the dogs, they’re lovely dogs and with some grooming could easily pass for model dogs but fuck do I feel like crying, I love my dog and I hate to think that in some way I failed them.
Now here’s the real sweet shit. I talked with my mother who brought up the issue and said I could try looking for another job and have it flexible to where I could stay in the house for up to 5pm and work a night job, she didn’t like it, said I was stressing her out with my argument and that they (in her words) “won’t keep you around to be lazying around all day” so yep, they’re pretty much forcing me to go into business with them or I’m kicked out of my own damn house and only family.
And of course there’s the fear of the unknown, my biggest fear (with the fear of forgetting being a second)
I don’t know what to do, how to feel.
Also one thing. My mom might have some serious health issues, she’s been getting constant X-rays, blood test all cause of her abnormally high white blood cells, this could mean cancer (which she’s had before) or something as small as stress
This morning I left school after doing our last graduation rehearsal and once I got home I started crying to my dog, her face comforting me, for some reason it all just added up, my mom, my dog, my future, and not to mention I just randomly remembered that my grandma wouldn’t get to see me graduate, she heard me telling her about it on the phone but now, nothing.
I don’t think of anyone from my school as a friend, never hung out with them after school, rarely talked in school apart from superficialities, that’s what they all felt like to me, superficial friends.
Im sorry for all this but if someone reads it, don’t feel the need to comment something, I’m just tired inside
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2023.06.03 02:03 hauntedvalentine The razor blade man.
I have never posted to Reddit before and I never thought I wouldn’t post this.
So I have a long history of being able to see spirits or shadow figures. And usually they don’t interact with me directly or verbally like regular people can so it’s easy to know what I’m experiencing is not in this plane completely.
Anyways my point of this post is to mention the earliest sighting I remember as a 3rd grader one sleepless night. I had a big family and the house was spread out. Wide open in the center with rooms around the edges of the property. My room on one side and my fathers(relevant) room was on the opposite side of the house with open floor plan so you could see clear to the door way his room was just beyond from where I exit my room.
Since I couldn’t sleep the plan was to but my dad, I left my room at an undetermined time(being so young I never cared to check times). And I stepped out into a dimly lit room den, living room, and kitchen sprawled out between me and my destination. With moonlight pouring in through the glass doors in the kitchen(middle) illuminating the scene.
There. At the end of the kitchen in the door way that sat shrouded in darkness (even though the moon was bright enough to paint a silver scene across the rest of the house) in that dark door way I saw him.
This figure was a shadow “man” and he had no discernible features on his face, it was void and still I knew he saw me. He didn’t move from the door way that led to my dads room, and as I stood locked in place processing I realize I can see glimmering on his body, when my eyes focused from the short distance across the kitchen I could see that his body was adorned in a suit like cover of razor blades from the neck down. As soon as I could move I ran and barricaded myself in my room crying thinking it was a killer I didn’t know what to do. I waited till morning to leave the room again.
I never thought of that guy again though I met many spirits who fed me the same terror over the years. I never considered myself a medium being able to talk to or interact with them. But after remembering his suppressed image, I started trying to search for any clues to what it means, who it is. And though I didn’t find much answers, I think I deduced that the entity had been around much longer and still hasn’t left. I fear that trying to pry will open something I don’t know how to close.
Anyone know how to find answers?
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2023.06.03 01:45 RedRose_812 Unexpected benefit of being OAD: changed travel plans.
My 7yo daughter and I were road tripping home from my sister's when we ran in to some absolutely awful weather. I couldn't see and the roads were flooded, so I made an executive decision to stop for the night.
Not only is she easier to travel with now that she's not a baby or toddler anymore, it's pretty easy to manage just her in a hotel room. I booked a double room and she's hanging out, coloring, and watching shows as happy as a clam. Having just left my sister, who has two kids that she rarely travels with and even more rarely stays in hotels with because it's hard to manage (especially with one being a toddler), I couldn't help but have a passing thought that this whole venture - the road trip there, staying at someone's house, road tripping home, and changed plans on the way home - would have been much more difficult to manage if it was just me and more than one kid.
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2023.06.03 01:40 EntertainmentProper 8g mushroom psychosis, tried to strangle friends mom, destroyed room, and more
(The fact that I tried to strangle my friends mom wasn’t even the worst part of this story, but I figured it would grab your attention)
I was 18 when this incident took place, and I had done acid lots of times with no issues at this point. Including a 500ug dose during a car ride that turned out fine, so I thought I had psychs under control. Shrooms, however, I had only done twice, a 2g and a 3.5g trip. The 3.5 trip was pretty scary, I almost slipped into egodeath but I’m pretty sure I held onto reality enough for my ego to not fully dissolve. I assumed that it was scary because my set and setting wasn’t very good, so after that I wanted to experience a moderate dose of shrooms again, but this time in a good setting and hopefully have a great time.
I had a really good dealer, he was a kind person, and would often throw in free tabs with my orders and stuff like that. I told him I wanted 8g of mushrooms, and that me and my friend were going to take 4g each at his house that night. He sold me the shrooms, and I didn’t have a scale or anything I just trusted him, and I assumed that he gave me 8 grams. I had never seen 8 grams of shrooms before, it looked like a lot but I thought that 8 grams should look like a lot, but in retrospect I think he had sold me about 14 or 16 grams or even more. They weren’t very high quality from what I had seen before and he was probably just trying to get rid of them honestly. It was a bag of small caps and stems and it was about the size of an oz of we’d. They were pretty hard and chewy, not as fluffy and soft as the white giants I had in the past, but I powered through and ate as much as I could. My friend said he couldn’t eat anymore because he was sick of the taste, so I would say I ate about 60% of the bag. That puts my estimate at about 8-10 grams that I had consumed at my friends house that night.
A little more context before I get into the horrifying and scaring events that took place that night, my friends mother was home and she was absolutely not okay with anything more than weed or alcohol being consumed at her house. This led my friend, who we will call Jay, to feel a little paranoid about taking them in the first place, because he didn’t know if we were going to be loud or anything. Jay had only done shrooms one time, and it was with me when I took the 3.5, and he was also freaking out and trying not to let his ego dissolve. He also took acid with me at my house one time, probably a 100ug dose. In retrospect it was completely stupid and irresponsible for me to push him to take what I planned on being 4 grams of shrooms at his house while he was paranoid about his mom and inexperienced with psychedelics. Also, my parents are not accepting of any drug whatsoever, no alcohol no weed whatsoever. I had been caught drinking one time before this, and that was a major shock in the family which completely devastated everyone. Somehow this wasn’t enough to get me to stop seeking substances.
Anyways, we waited on his porch during the come up, and when I started feeling it it hit me like a brick wall. Everything started to look like the old 3D movies used to look if you weren’t wearing the red and blue glasses, if that makes any sense. This is hard to explain, but I started to have this deep feeling that I was entering a realm where I had been before but hadn’t been to in a long time, and it felt like it was the other half of my life that I had completely forgotten about. Again I can’t explain it that well but it was an extremely powerful feeling and I was overcome with emotions about how I had forgotten about this place and that I had spent my whole life without remembering it. After this we quietly went inside into his room, his mother was sleeping. I remember talking to him for a while about random trippy things for a few minutes, but after that things got very, very weird.
The following events happened to me like they were movie scenes, I remember one event then I do not remember what happens between that time and the next event. The next thing I remember after talking to Jay was him sitting across the room on the bed talking about how he wasn’t feeling very good, something about nausea and confusion and general anxiety. I was like “no man don’t worry, we’re actually in a dream right now. I think I’m actually dreaming right now” and he was pretty confused and didn’t know what I was talking about. I pulled out my phone and texted him, despite him being 10 feet away from me, trying to explain to him that I was having this crazy feeling like I was in a dream and that it was nuts. I guess for a few minutes I forgot he was there, because I was texting him like I was sharing my shroom experience from my house and I was trying to tell him about it.
The next thing I remember is opening Pokémon Go on my phone and there was a treecko, and when I tried to catch it I thought that it was my dad. I legitimately, without exaggeration, thought that this treecko on my screen was my actual true father, and I was just fascinated. I couldn’t believe this discovery and just spent a few minutes thinking about it. I then tapped on another Pokémon to try to catch it, and when I did it turned into a freaking ditto. Those of you that play Pokémon Go probably can imagine how fucking insane it was to catch a ditto high as shit on shrooms, I thought the damn world was about to collapse or something it was unbelievable.
After this, Jay decided to turn on some YouTube to try to relax and distract us both, because he could feel things going south. I guess he took it as a bad sign when I was telling him that a treecko was my dad. I had a thought like “I think they say you’re not supposed to watch tv on shrooms” but I thought nothing of it and figured it might be fun. The tv started talking to me, the characters in whatever the video was were talking to me about how we were all living in a simulation and that we have to figure out who is causing it. Once we found who was running the simulation, we would have to find them and tell them that we realized we were in a simulation and that the game could end, and at that point we would be released into the actual true reality and be free from this dimension. That sounded super cool to me, and I had a discovery that the person running the simulation was his mother. I thought that as soon as we went to her room she would be waiting on us to tell her we “figured it out” and at that point we would be released into true reality. So I told Jay, and he immediately told me that was a terrible idea and that it was all nonsense and that if we woke up his mom that we would be fucked and might even go to jail. I debated with him for a while, trying to explain to him what I was thinking and why it was legitimate, but he was having none of it and would not let me leave the room. Eventually I gave up the idea, which you would think was a good thing, but when you hear what happened instead you’ll realize it probably would have been better to go talk to his mom and get kicked out of his house.
The next thing I remember is Jay laying in bed, I think he said he wanted all of this to end and that he was going to try to sleep, so I was alone with my thoughts. I started to feel alone, so I crawled into his bed with him, which was very weird because I was never one of those people who is comfortable sharing a bed with another guy or anything like that. This is when the full blown psychosis started. I suddenly thought I was 10 years old, and that I was in my old bedroom laying in bed with my dad early in the morning. I really wanted breakfast, so I started poking Jay, who I thought was my dad, trying to get him to wake up and take me to Hardee’s. This didn’t work and he wouldn’t move. So I just continued to lay there and daydream and think about whatever was going through my head. I remember seeing a shape on the wall which was familiar but I had no clue where it was from, and I suspect this was something that I had seen very early in my childhood like when I was a baby or something that started to manifest itself on his walls. It was like a circle with three shapes in it that kinda reminded me of a face of some kind but looked nothing like a face. I can still imagine it to this day, but if I actually tried to draw it I would have no clue what to draw, it’s just some abstract thought.
I do not know what happened but I ended up in his floor, and the delusion that he was my father was over at this point. Now, I had completely forgotten he was there, I didn’t know where I was or what I was doing but I knew that somehow I had escaped whatever fake simulation I was in and that now I was in true reality where I could do whatever I wanted. I was pleased with this, my first thought was that I wanted a strawberry donut. Yes, apparently if I was given the power to do anything I wanted to without consequence the first thing I would do was manifest a strawberry donut. I figured that it would take time to learn how to fly and walk through walls and stuff, and that for now I would start simple. So I decided to piss my pants, since that was one thing I thought in my past life I wasn’t allowed to do, and since I could do whatever I wanted now I said freak it and pissed. It was warm and gross and I kinda regretted it for a second, but I quickly forgot that it had happened. I was distracted by some other fantasy which I cannot remember, but it had something to do with me doing something I couldn’t do before and I was amazed at it.
At this point I am fully in a delusional psychosis that I have escaped the simulation and there are no consequences to any action that I do. Kinda like I had a reset button and could just undo any action that was done or something. I didn’t think it was in a dream anymore, I literally thought my new reality was this world. And so, I did whatever I wanted to, with no thought or hesitation.
The next thing I remember is waking up to his room being completely destroyed, the lights on, Jay and his mother standing there looking at me in shock and horror, and me being pinned to the ground by a giant wardrobe, the type with doors on top and drawers under it. There was shit falling out of the doors onto me and I was covered in ashes from an incense tray. I didn’t remember how the wardrobe got on top of me, but weeks later my friend told me that it fell on me while I was climbing on it and eating the ashes out of the incense tray. The wardrobe was really heavy and I couldn’t get out from under it, but I was still fully in psychosis and asked Jay and his mom why they weren’t fucking helping me out when I obviously was stuck. I was yelling and screaming at them, “What the fuck are you doing? Don’t just stand there get this shit off me so we can go get a strawberry donut what the fuck are you doing?!” I couldn’t figure out why there was no reaction from them, if anything just disappointment and disbelief, and that started to really piss me off. Why weren’t they down to go get some strawberry donuts? Obviously it was time for fun and destroying shit and they’re just sitting there looking at me. This wardrobe is fucking heavy and crushing me and they’re just looking at me like deer in headlights. I remember there was a cord for something near my head and I just grabbed it and started chewing on it, like actually trying to eat it since I could do whatever I want. Jay’s mom came over to me and said to cut that shit out or to stop or something and I was like “fuck you, you’re pissing me off quit killing the vibe let me eat it” I was pissed off. She took it from me but I just kept grabbing it again. She was wearing flip flops and I think I took one of them off of her foot when she was trying to kick the cord away from me and I tried to eat the shoe and I think she hit me in the face with it, but that’s so blurry in my mind that I don’t know if it actually happened or not. I kept trying to eat anything I could get my hands on.
The next thing I remember is Jay on top of me, fully restraining me like a cop has to restrain a resisting criminal. He had my arms pinned town beside of me and he was sitting on my stomach area trying to keep me from moving. It fucking hurt a lot. I was like “Dude Jay what the fuck are you doing get off me I’m trying to have a good time and you’re actually hurting me”. I remember it really hurting my stomach because Jay was a bigger guy and I felt like my stomach was about to explode and kill me. I had a brief thought that I had been sent to hell for doing whatever I wanted to do, and that the rest of my eternity was going to be him sitting on top of me while I screamed in pain. I thought that it would never end, and I started going ape shit crazy screaming and yelling and crying begging him to get off me. Like I literally pictured this painful scenario lasting for another minute and couldn’t stand it, then realized this is what it will be like for the next hour, and the next 24 hours, and for the next 40 days and 40 years and I couldn’t bear the thought. I didn’t know how the wardrobe got off of me at the time, but again weeks later Jay told me that I somehow became a superhuman for a second and pushed the wardrobe off of myself and lunged straight at his mother’s neck trying to strangle her. I got pretty close to her apparently, and she had to jump back, but I don’t remember any of that, that’s just what he told me. At that point he had to take me down and restrain me, because he recognized that me trying to kill his mother was not a good thing and it had to stop immediately, believe it or not.
At this point his mother had called my mother and told her the situation, a phone call that I am sure my mother will remember for the rest of her life, because she could hear me screaming and cursing in the background of the call. She put her on speaker and mom tried to ask me what I was doing and I just told her to fuck off and come help me because these people weren’t letting me have strawberry donuts and get wild like I wanted to. That call didn’t last long, but she sent my dad to come and pick me up. Jay restrained me until my dad got there, and when he got there they told me to leave and that my father was there to pick me up. I was like okay fuck you guys I’m going to party with my dad, and I got in his car. He didn’t say a word to me and I was still fully in psychosis and did not realize what was happening. My pants were soaked so I just took them off, dad told me to stop and that I couldn’t take my pants off but I was like “no, they’re wet they have to come off” so I got completely naked in the passenger seat of the car.
Unfortunately, that moment was when the psychosis ended and I became fully aware of what had just happened. I think this moment will forever be the worst moment of my life unless I do something else stupid in the future. Every negative emotion you could possibly feel hit me right there, guilt, shame, anger, all of it hit me right in the chest and I swear I almost passed out. It was physically painful when I realized what I had just done. I probably lost my very best friend forever, his family hates me now, my family knows I do psychedelics, I am naked in my dads car, I have just fully ruined my life as I know it and I have no clue what went wrong in the trip that led to this point. I have no clue why I went into psychosis, but I sure did and I fucked my entire life up in the span of 4 hours. I cannot explain how terrible that moment was and I’ll remember it for the rest of my life. I was defeated. Being the real man of genius my father is, trying to I guess lighten the situation or something idk, he went through the damn Hardee’s drive through and ordered me some food. The lady at the drive through did in fact see me naked in the passenger seat, which I’m sure made her day. The rest of the car ride was just me being completely speechless and more or less paralyzed with fear and regret, and when we got home I ran inside straight to my room and locked the door. I refused to look at my mother, who wanted to talk to me obviously, I couldn’t face her at that moment. She didn’t even know what mushrooms were or that they were a drug, so trying to explain a full blown psychosis experience wasn’t going to happen. I texted Jay and I had no clue what to say, besides that I was sorry. There were no words I could say to him to even start to explain anything, I didn’t even know what I needed to explain so I just said that I couldn’t believe what just happened and that it was infinitely sorry. He didn’t reply. I slept for probably 6 hours and woke up actually feeling pretty normal, at which point I decided to go upstairs and talk to my parents.
I don’t remember much after that, but I know it sucked. I know it took Jay weeks to even speak to me like we had ever been friends, and months after that to repair our friendship. Yes, we did repair our friendship, and now 3 years later we simply don’t talk about it. I even see his mother occasionally out town and she’s very loving towards me and says hello. I don’t know how I got so lucky to have a friend like Jay and his family, because if it was nearly anyone else they probably would have called the police and had me thrown in jail instead of calling my parents. I’ll forever be thankful for them.
Be careful with your doses, people
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