I’m just wondering I was pretty bad at freelancer at first and I lost the ancestral pistol (silenced pistol you get from being freelancer lvl 20 or something like that) Now I am much better and I almost have my walls filled up and my freelancer tools are filled up too. But I can’t for the life of me find the ancestral pistol from vendors, or when I finish the mission. The vendors always just give me two aks or rifles I don’t have and that’s it. Is it ruined for me? Has anyone ever had this? Thank you!

Hey guys it's been awhile since I last spoke It's been an eventful time for sure but If you have any questions feel free to ask I just had to share this experience burnt into my mind it feels like yesterday it happened just prepare yourself it's a wild ride I'd like to say off the bat I've always been superstitious person ever since I was a kid things I can only describe as not of our world seemed to happen around me from items disappearing and reappearing out of what seems like nowhere to having the feeling of being watched when nobody is there I wish I could say I've slowly gotten used to it over the years but it never gets any less chilling even since my family moved to a small farm area in the country it was a nice enough area and I had met a friend who was interested in all things supernatural and weird soon after I moved and we clicked immediately he is what you would describe as a guy living life on the edge we will call him Harry from here on out you see Harry loved the paranormal and was interested in experiences with it of course I told him about strange things I've seen since I was younger now this was my first mistake I'll tell you why you see Harry recently came in possession of an Ouija board and was excited to try it out and my family just so happens to be away for the next week so of course he begged me to do a session with him to which I eventually caved and told him I'd help him so we ended up setting up the board next to this lake near our houses (still don't understand why) it was around 10pm we set it up and Harry had attempted to summon something from the other side while I watched and waited nervously at first nothing seemed to happen so he told me to join in and help him and to stop being a coward this annoyed me so I had to join in but as soon as I had sat down and put my hand on the board the feeling I can only describe as the feeling of being watched had washed over me I projected to Harry what I was feeling to which he immediately dismissed so we continue the game harry asking simple questions and getting no answers after about 30 minutes with nothing I begin to think my feeling was simply my nerves toying with me until I decided to finally ask a question "is there anyone here" to which the piece slowly moved to yes we were shocked harry and I looked at each other asking if either of us moved it and to not play around but neither of us had moved it of our own volition this seemed to excite Harry even more and told me to ask more questions so i did we asked this entity if it used to live here it said "no" Harry decided to ask "did you die here?" It shifted to "no" again and then asked "do you want to hurt us?" The piece almost violently moved to "yes" at the same time I hear what can only be described as a massive splash from what could only be 50 metres away which startled me as I accidentally took my hands off the board this was my second mistake after this we didn't get anything else from the board but could feel something staring at us it was so intense we said goodbye and packed up the board and went home I honestly thought that would be the end of it let me tell you that couldn't be further from the truth the feeling of being watched only got worse when I got home so ensuring everything was locked and latched was my first concern as the feeling started to subside I decided to call it a night and went to bed somehow falling asleep pretty easily only to be woken up an hour later from a loud banging at my back door? Of course I go to investigate and try and peek around the windows to try and see who it is but all I see is pitch black darkness so building up all my courage I head to the back door and call out "who are you? Why are you trespassing on my property?" At first there's no reply just loud banging I threatened to call the police if they didn't leave that was when the banging stopped and something spoke it sounded like my friend but it wasn't I don't know how to describe it the voice was exactly like Harry's but distorted somehow telling me to "open the door" over and over again in the calmest voice I didn't know what to do so I decided to open the door but I left the latch in by mistake so it only opened part of the way I apologised to who I thought was Harry but when the door opened there was nobody there I quickly closed and locked the door and turned on the back lights to get a better view but there was nothing so I grab my phone and give Harry a call preparing to give him an earful for scaring me and to never go through the backyard again only to have it ring out multiple times until being met with a groggy tired voice on the other side wondering why I woke him up so I asked him if he was at my house just then only to be told "no I've been asleep" and "I'm talking nonesence I'll speak to you in the morning" after hanging up I remember sitting in the kitchen completely shook for what felt like hours eventually calming down enough to try and get some sleep at this point it was around 2am as I was attempting to sleep after all the weirdness the air felt odd as if it was both hot and cold at the same time i fell asleep shortly after only to experience something I haven't felt before it was like I was falling at the same time losing my breath like I was drowning in some endless sea to be pulled back to what felt like reality only I couldn't move? Not my head or even my arms but I managed to move my eyes it was almost like I was in a trance as my eyes adjusted to the familiar look of my room I could feel my heart rate increasing as all I could do was look around and I saw it... I've never seen something so horrifying it's body was slender almost like a skeleton with inhumanely long arms but that's not the worst part oh my god the face I'll never forget it as long as I live it's eyes were sunken and black and it's mouth was open so wide almost like a snake showing what looked like hundreds of teeth of different shapes and sizes just standing in my room staring at me I couldn't scream I couldn't run all I could do was stare as this thing slowly approached my bed with impossibly heavy footsteps almost like the floor would break at any moment I couldn't help it I closed my eyes in fear as the footsteps just stopped I waited for what felt like forever to nothing it was then I opened my eyes to see this thing hunched over me inches from my face at that point I was certain I would not see the morning as this thing said my name in the voice of my friend that was when it all went dark as i could feel the breathe leaving my body it suddenly stopped as I woke up on the floor in a cold sweat terrified of what happened all I could do was cry I have left that house since currently at a family members house for the past two months whatever that thing was I haven't seen it since but I truly hope I never see that thing again.

Not the existential dread of dying from a once in a hundred year disease, or the mass protests and violence from authorities.
But the simple life, waking up and staying home, being with family etc etc.. During the pandemic I went back and finished school, started a business, spent more time with my kids, I found more hobbies and things I like to do, climbed out of debt. Mind you, I worked during the pandemic because I was considered essential(govt employee)..But even then, work was less stressful and I was able to work at home 90% of the time and only ever worked maybe 2 hours out of the day...
Things seemed so much simpler then. Going back to pre-2020 living has gotten me depressed as a mf..
Anyone else feeling like this?

Dear diar... Reddit. First lets get some things out of the way:
Throwaway because of obvious reasons.
A wall of fucking text.
TLDR: GF of 10 years, wife less than a year, cheated because she wanted to explore and take back her body after childbirth. Wanted to feel hot and get attention, seems honest and very remorseful.
I am mainly looking for constructive input and a place to vent, so thanks for reading up and sharing your views.
To get to it;
To my unfortunate surprise the feelings of a semi smashing through my livingroom hit me friday at around 4 am, one month ago.
I'm a 29 year old guy who has dated my high school sweetheart for now 12 years total, we got married in July last year, bought our first home 2,5 years ago and (almost) without being biased we have the sweetest 2yearold little rascal keeping us busy.
To give some more background we are a couple who don't fight in the fighting sense of the word but still discuss our differences. We laugh alot, although not so much since i found out - we have the same values, share housework and even with most of our sex is based in the "everyday sex" its insanely good about 3/10 times. Apart from that she has alway been extremely clear on her views on cheating, suffers from depression and anxiety in periods, and has always had pretty bad self esteem. Comes from a home with an extremely dominant know-it-all father who parents solely with boundaries and verbal consequences, and has been through therapy based on that.
This Autumn my wife opened up the discussion about mixing our sexlife up by bringing in another partner into our bedroom. We had some back and forth open discussions and after quite a bit of consideration i told her that i weren't comfortable risking us for a fantasy - given that she primarily wanted to involve a dude, and i've read some horror stories.
In January she came home suspiciously drunk after a christmas party so i started asking and after feeling something was off i went to the stage of scrolling through her phone. For reference i have never had a trust issue with this girl, and haven't went through or felt the need to doing so before. We know eachothers pins, answer eachothers in-laws sms'es and are generally open about what's going on.
Scrolling through her phone i found a lengthy and flirty chat with a co-worker of hers where they were talking about "wanting to meet up" and "wanting to get to know eachother better."
We had a fight and a told her point blanc that this is a major breach of trust and that we gotta work on us more if she was interested in staying together. After things settled we had a new discussion about involving another party where i told her no. Along with this i told her that she had to figure out wether or not this was a dealbreaker on her end and if so we had to discuss how to move forward. She told me this was solely a search for external attention as she wanted to get attention and "feel sexy" and "wanted" after childbirth - she was genuinely remorseful for hurting me like this.
Then about 1 month ago a bombshell went off. She came home drunk af friday night after partying with a friend - not an issue in general, apart from being completely shitfaced. After putting her to bed her phone beeps, and its a snapchat from an unknown dude.
All of my red flags and alarm bells went off simultaniously as she also mumbled something about "why are there noone else here??" when heading to the bedroom.
Well fuck - new phonecheck. Snapchat from a dude - dickpick.
Turns out she has a secret "porn" snapchat, sexting with 8-10 dudes, sending nudes back and forth, bragging about blowing a co-worker and some other random guy and how hot that was along with "That he doesnt know almost makes it more exciting, its like im a completely different person." The snapchat dates back to 3 months before we got married, and is from all kinds of everyday at home situations, and portrays her as an absolute slut who loves to please men.
Dont get me wrong, i love a good slut, but if this is my wife she has to be mine and mine alone.
The chat with her co-worker is also back on messenger, some pics traded but nothing to graphic. "you can meet me tonight at the club if you wish ;)"
Fucking devastating read I'll tell you.
So after spending 4 hours picking all of her aps, tracking data, deleted items and whatnot to pieces i have a pretty decent idea of what's been going on. I confront her with this the next day, and alot of tears later she tells me what has happened, how many times with who etc.
I still believe she has told me the truth - i mean why lie at this point.
She has slept with her colleague after he invited himself to our place after a fight with his girlfriend when i was out of town. Along with this one of the snapchat dudes were on a business trip the weekend before. She suggested i leave to my parents so they get to see our son, and went on a legit "date" before heading back to his hotel.
​
We've now had some time to think and i gotta say I am very fucking torn on what's next.
We are considering 1:1 and couples therapy, and i keep asking myself wether i can forgive, want to forgive and think i can move past it. I believe her when she says it was all about the sex and attention - especcially regarding the snapchat dude, semi sceptical about the co-worker. Along with this we have had a couple of weeks with "normal" life, but its more distant on all levels, and generally a weird vibe.
From here i have been thinking the following which makes the dilemma impossible:
I can either be a naive fool trying to repair it for me, her and mostly my son, or i can split and we have a 50/50 custody solution, buy her out of our house and restart my life. Tearing my up untill 4 months ago perfect family apart.
Are there other solutions?
what do i need to ask myself?
How do i fucking cope with this shit regardless of the final outcome, and how long should i take before making life-changing decisions?
​
fuck.

So I turned 18 today which means I can make decisions without needing my parents permission. I've been out since my 14th birthday.
After getting back home from getting froyo, I asked my mom to stay in the car while my sister went inside. Some sort of beast possessed me and I was suddenly filled with confidence. I told her that I've been waiting for this day since I first came out, and that after all my other medical dilemmas are handled, I want to start the process of getting approved for T.
I can't keep living like this disgusting imposter. I'm not me! This horrible creature I have to look at everyday in the mirror is going to be the death of me. I've done my research, and I'm going to do more! I'm going to write down what every cost would be, every method, every side effect.
EVERYTHING.
She didn't have much to say. All she said was 'okay' everytime I stopped to think about my next words. After that we sat in silence..so I cracked a joke about the heat to try and lighten the mood. It seemed to work and we went inside.
My mom tries. She's called me by my preferred name a handful of times, she'll randomly call me her son or say 'you and your brother' when talking with my sister. It's not all the time..but I know she's trying. And I know she wouldn't let me down.
So now here I am. Sitting in my room and waiting for assassins creed to load as I anxiously await the future. Will life go my way? Who knows.. I'm just one simple boy.

This one's for the lurkers. The silent folk who have somehow stumbled upon this subreddit in one way or another and have not yet voiced their own personal thoughts, questions, battles and successes.
This is my smoke signal out into the ether for those battling but have not yet bled or even cried out their war cry. There will never be a perfect time to begin your journey. Trust me... you do not want to wait for life to *force* you to quit. Stealing this from someone, but drug abusers finally sum up the courage to quit when they hit rock bottom. DO NOT let yourself bottom out. Just like in stocks, you'd be amazed on how much lower the price can drop.
I am still battling with the temptations even after a month. I almost relapsed twice. I abused heavily for many years. However, I am rewiring my brain day after day to work towards the greater potential I was born and gifted with.
My family line of ancestors did not continue their generations with the intention to have their kin in a position where I chose to abuse a drug instead of enjoying the life and gifts they passed onto me. How fucking selfish of me. I cannot even fathom what my family line went through for me to just take it all for granted -- it's borderline disrespectful.
There is a great support system of anonymous users here that will congratulate, support and rejoice in your battle against quitting weed. It's all about how you use us... how you communicate with us. What you put in is what you get out. The honesty here is un
I just feel obligated to try and reach out to someone else like me that felt like they stalled out in life and began to question how to fix it. Maybe you finally acquired the awareness that your weed abuse is more of a hindrance than a medication. Maybe your internal self reflection has led your mind to wonder on the possibilities of "what could be" that brings you to this post today.
I don't want more souls feeling trapped. I still battle my demons with this herb but I have been WINNING! Consistent back-to-back victories after years of losses.
I want you to win too. I want your happiness too... stranger.

All throughout my life (19F) i was the ugly kid. No guys liked me, they made fun of me, and I wouldn’t dare tell any guy I liked that I liked them. I was the kid who got asked out as a joke.
That was until recently, someone liked me. I heard from a friend. They had a brief crush on me, and I got addicted to the feeling of feeling desired.
The problem is, they no longer seem interested. They seem to like another girl more now, one who is better than me in every way (prettier, merrier)
I tried desperately to cling on to it. To make them keep liking me. It felt validating, I felt worthy for the first time in my life. I like the person themselves, but more so I liked the feeling of being liked for once in my life. Of the attention which I’ve always been starved of.
Now it’s been stripped away and I feel extremely depressed and useless again. I know it’s wrong and so unethical to want someone to like me just because, but that’s how I feel. This is my confession.
How do i get over them, over how they made me feel?

I’ve been out to myself as queer in someway for the past 5 years and have never had a queer friend or relationship or gotten to go to pride and nothing has changed this year so once again I can’t go. My family is very homophobic and transphobic and they find my college and give me a place to stay on breaks so there’s no freedom there. I feel like Pride Month is the hardest month of me out of the year because it is the one time I am explicitly reminded that I am not living the life that I want and that I am and will be extremely dysphoric and closeted for a long time. It causes me such physical pain and resentment to see everyone else celebrating something that I feel so distinctly separated from. I know there are people who were closeted for the their whole lives and came out at like 60 or 70 but I just don’t know where they found the strength to hold on for that long bc I am barely surviving. These past 5 years have the been the most draining years of my life and I wish I had never found out that I was trans or liked women bc even if I knew that something felt off I would have the language to describe the depth of my pain and it is starting to feel like ignorance could’ve been bliss. So here’s to another year of trying to hold on and hope for the 60 or 70 year old me and to all those who I closeted, I see you I hear you and may we find the strength to preserve ❤️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈

I share motivational stuff, I try to follow advice, but even then I can't seem to get better. I am always depressed no matter what. It's like it's all a sick joke from above. I'm tired of everything, I am tired of life. All I want to do is rest, I hate that is my life and this is me. I can't forget the past and I have too much trauma from it. I try to learn but I always keep making the same mistakes. I wish I was never born. I grew up on a disfunctional family, saw many arguments, stuff getting broken, felt always bad energy and lots of tension. I've been going to therapy but nothing helps me at all. Spent two years unemployed and sad. Self-harmed myself, struggled with suicidal thoughts for a year now Wish things happened the other way but this is reality and can't change what is done.

Hi there! So I'm 36 years old from Pennsylvania. I have always had a thing for much older men and don't even really know why exactly. Part of it might be that I've always been very mature for my age and tend to get along much better with people who are older than me. The idea of being in a committed long-term relationship with someone older just feels right and natural to me. I am somewhat of a traditional person and do want to be properly married at some point.
Like the title says, I am willing to relocate if I find a genuine connection with the right person, but I would strongly prefer to remain on this continent, so that means please only message me if you're in the United States or Canada.
I also don't want you to message me if you're into the whole dom/sub dynamic or daddy/daughter dynamic; I'm not interested in those dynamics at all. I'm just a traditional woman. I'm a very loving and affectionate person by nature and a strong believer in romantic love, and I just want to find my one-and-only who I can fall deeply in love with and devote myself to forever. I'm the type who sees human sexuality as a very deep and meaningful act of affection between two people who are in love, and I would rather make love than just have sex for the sake of sex. Looks aren't really important to me; I'm the type of person who bases romantic attraction on personality and chemistry more than anything else.
In the spring and summer, I regularly attend an all-ages family nudist camp that is near me. My mother raised me to be a social nudist, so I have been going there all my life. I'm not one of those nudists who is nude at home all the time; for me it's more of a social thing that I do at a family-oriented camp environment. I find the social cohesion in an environment like that creates friendships and bonds that are unlike any social dynamic that you would ever find in any other regular social situation. My own theory regarding this is that it triggers a dormant social-cohesion mechanism in the human psyche that we had way back in our early history when we were living in small communal tribes. Back then, it was probably more normal for people to be casually nude if they wanted to be during the warmer months because everybody knew everybody and nobody was a stranger, and I think that kind of thing would kind of solidify your bond with the tribe. That's just my theory anyways, but it makes a lot of sense because I'm friends with families at that camp and am much closer to them than I am with anybody outside of the camp.
But if you think that your lifestyle values align with mine, free to message me in chat, and we'll see what kind of chemistry we have! 😊

TL;DR: I hate rich kids gatekeeping. Does anyone know any online colleges? I already have an Associates for Computer Science. Just trying to make it in life for my kids.
​
Specifically for Purdue Global. I'm just an older guy that wants to get out of the retail slog. I'm making $12/hr. I'm just trying to make a better life. I keep seeing these ads for Purdue Global and what got me interested were how some people finished full bachelor's in like 6 months - a year. That's amazing. I don't mind the grind. I just can't go to regular colleges because I'm a full time worker living in the dumps. And online college seems like the better way for me, but damn it's still college. It takes way too long. Purdue Global looked like it was perfect. I mean yeah, I'm gonna cram like 2-4 years worth of work in a few months. Honestly, I'm willing to do that and hoping it will payoff.
But every time I look online I see so many horrible reviews. I thought it was a dead end dream honestly. Until I looked further and turns out most of the reviews are from Purdue University students thinking that Purdue Global would lower the value of their fucking diploma. Like bro are you serious? Sorry I wasn't born in a rich fucking family with a thumb up my ass my entire life. I'm just trying to live my life. I'm doing what I can to get on the right track. I don't need some pompous dipshit with their ass stuffed with daddy's money talking down to me just because by fucking chance we were born in to different income levels.
And honestly, I don't fucking get it. They're attached to each other by name only. One's an actual university, and the other is strictly online from what I can tell. "Purdue" is the only thing that's related. And another thing, if I'm putting in the same amount of work, what makes me different then regular university students?

So I ( M25) visit a friend ( F25 )from high school , while on a trip to my hometown. I’ve always stayed in touch with her as she was a great friend and honestly there was always an attraction towards each other.
Note , I’ve been single for 3 years now as I’ve been really focusing on my career , my mental health and really trying to get rid of habits I saw would really affect my relationships in the future.
When we hang out it was instant fireworks , we really hit it off. We make it back to her place and we sleep together ( no sex ) and when we wake up the next day we started talking about if we could see anything happening in the future.
She says “ I want to be your girlfriend, I don’t want to JUST be talking to you , we’ve known each other for years I don’t see why we have to go through that phase “
I explain to her that while we have stayed in touch , the versions of ourselves present at this time still don’t know eachother enough to become that serious so quickly , I did want to talk to her and honestly rushing into a relationship after so much time alone felt like a bad idea to me , plus I live in a whole other state and I literally just started a business. My attention right now is a bit occupied but after some thinking I thought what the hell , I know myself and I know it’s rare that I feel THIS comfortable around a person. Let’s try it.
I get back and me n her are on the phone 24/7. I mean we spent a literal 24 hours on the phone just talking and laughing , I guess trying the long distance thing out. As the days go by I start to notice she has an ungodly amount of time on her hands something that I really have to move the sun and moon for. But what the hell I said for a long distance thing to work I have to dedicate a little bit more time than usual.
At this point I’m realizing she also goes out a lot , she would frequent a bar that not only she had worked at but where she had made a number of friends over the years.
Well the phone calls started getting really toxic when ever she was done going out. Inebriated, she would get really defensive and her temper would flare to extreme levels. On the first occasion , she got upset because I told her she should probably get something to eat and some water because she was so blacked out drunk she wasn’t speaking coherently. She lives alone and the thought of something tragic happening stressed me out to no end. She hangs up on me that night and calls me hours later waking me up.
she continues the night talking to me as if she didn’t just hang up on me mid sentence. Again I let her know she should probably get some rest and that I am a little upset by the way she’s treating me at the moment. I still let her know I forgive her because she’s not all there at the moment but my feelings were voiced. She hangs up on me again , the third time she wakes up and this time it’s 5 in the morning and she is crying and apologizing. I tell her it’s okay just please get some rest we will talk later. She hangs up on me again.
When we end up speaking about what happened she lets me know that she can behave that way when she is drunk to not take it so personally. “ I might even call you names so Im sorry if I do”
I let her know that if something like that happens I would not tolerate it as I grew up in a household where alcohol was a problem. Two days later she’s drunk at a party face timing me. She’s on a couch , completely wasted staring at my angry face. I ask her hows she’s going to get home and she begins to give me defensive responses. I let her know that I’m not going to argue with her when’s she’s drunk because she loses her temper and I don’t want talk to that person. She hangs up on me and I spend the next two days living my life. I do not ignore her I just let her know that i need space right now to think about what’s best for her and for myself .
It was too much for her to wait so she txts me “ if you’re gonna break up with me just do it already don’t have me sitting her worrying “
I proceed to call her and let her know I do not think this is going to work out . She started yelling at me , scolding me for “giving up “so quickly . Up to this point I’ve been keeping my cool but when she started disrespecting me I had lost my cool. It ended with the nastiest break up I’ve ever had. I blocked her on everything and I sit here with the thought that wtf just happened over the last month
Anyway I post this because I’m confused on why she hates me so mucho right now. She’s the one who changes when she’s drunk and belittles and disrespects me why would anyone put up with that ? Why doesn’t she understand she can’t treat people like that ?

I am very young. I turned 18 in December and have probably the worst spending habits of anyone I know. I’m getting better and am starting to budget and save (successfully!), but there’s one HUGE problem I am dealing with and it’s my addiction to “instant gratification” when it comes to buying anything on the more expensive side.
For example, I am really in love with a specific car and can definitely afford to buy it outright if I just save and wait until February 2024. But the “instant gratification” addiction I face is constantly thinking of ways to buy this car now, including lines of credits and loans - both of which I really should NOT have at 18, especially for a used car from the 90s (for anyone curious, an NA Mazda Miata), yet I am still tempted to do so.
At the end of the day, I think I’m just extremely impatient and have trouble simply waiting for things. I have never once in my life truly saved up for anything on the more expensive side. My first car was my dad’s old Honda Civic - never had to save up for my own car. All the expensive stuff I have right now for my hobbies such as camera gear were bought with a credit card and paid slowly over time - I never bought them outright. Horrible financial decisions overall.
I am really trying to get rid of this bad, BAD habit, as I know this type of spending can ruin lives, but I need some motivation. I know what I am doing is extremely deadly in the long term, but I still have incredibly potent urges to do those things anyway. I would really like to learn how to just be patient, live within my means, and start saving up for the more expensive things and buy them outright instead of loaning or financing.

It was like 3 years ago so it doesn’t really affect me now and it didn’t really affect me then because I had no idea what was going on but the thought of me being used years ago is sad. It never stopped happening, I have been getting held advantage of continuously ever since I was 9. Online & real life
Even though I didn’t know what he was doing it affects me now, the fact I let myself get took advantage of because I was only 11 and didn’t know what he was doing. I let him do it it makes me feel like shit, and even he knew it was wrong telling me not to tell anybody
Just another reason to add to my ‘why I want to kms’ list 😞

This is going to be long, since I feel I need to do a lot of explanation to demonstrate the severity of everything. So buckle up for this ride.
My mother has been an alcoholic her entire adult life. It was hidden from my siblings and I as kids, but since 2015 it’s gotten progressively worse and obvious. She is now at the point where she drinks every night, and has started drinking during the day as well. She has also gone through periods where she drives drunk, and has been doing so again.
It’s not surprising that she has this problem, her entire childhood led up to this. She was born and lived in El Salvador’s until she was 14, and was physically abused by her mother who blamed her for being cut off from her family for having my mom out of wedlock. She was molested by multiple family members from a young age. Then during the war she saw violence and hundreds of dead bodies multiple times. She was treated poorly and lived in poverty as other immigrants often are when her family came to the US.
She already had a drinking problem when she met my father. He, not understanding what an addiction is really like back in the 90s, enabled her and continues to do so even today. He is also a narcissist and controlling, so I imagine this has something to do with it as well.
My father has intense rage issues. All four of us grew up in an extremely abusive home, experiencing emotional and physical abuse from both of them. My siblings and I all have intense trauma and issues because of it. My parents also abuse each other, having intense fights where items are thrown, one of them leaves in the middle of the night, and/or cops get called. Dad has also always refused to stop drinking and smoking weed in the house, stating her problems shouldn’t be his. This triggers her all the time.
My mother was diagnosed with panic disorder and depression in 2019. She mixes her meds with alcohol every day. She was 51 then 5250d in 2021 for claiming she took all her meds one day while drunk to kill herself (plot-twist, this was a lie). She hurts herself often and we believe she is beginning to experience the beginnings of live disease as she is morbidly obese, doesn’t eat anymore, shits liquid and often blood. She refuses to be honest with her doctors about her alcohol use.
She’s attempted to stop before, but only by shortly going to AA or outpatient rehab before dropping out. My parents go back and forth saying the other one rejects the idea of inpatient rehab. I keep telling my dad to get her an IID on her car but he says she’d be embarrassed.
My two sisters and I still live in the home, as my parents have made it incredibly difficult for us to be independent. My dad has made sure all four of us have always stayed reliant on them in some way. We all see drama firsthand every single day.
Multiple family members get into fights all the time. I usually have to mediate. My mother blames my father every day when she’s drunk claiming he ruined her life and it’s his fault we lost our home and that she is the way she is. She also seeks me out, switching between wanting to tell me stories of her trauma and calling me a druggie slut that also ruined her life. She follows us both around the house to do so. Their fights have traumatized me so much that every noise I hear from upstairs results in me hearing their voices arguing every night. I have a tick now that makes me need to call my dad or sister, or listen against the door to the stairs to confirm what’s happening. Often it’s just normal talking or the TV. I for ear plugs, but I still hear their voices when anxious.
I have been making plans to move out, but multiple reasons have made it difficult, though now it will happen in the near future.
My dad has talked about having interventions and “conversations” with her for years. It never goes anywhere, and financial circumstances have up until recently made it impossible for her to go to inpatient rehab. He finally is in a good position financially to do so, and seems more serious about it. Thing is, any conversation we have she always agrees and promises to stop, but nothing happens. I believe we need to have a spot for her lined up same day if we’re going to do this.
How do we go about this? Should we have a professional be present? I worry about doing this alone since most of the family cannot control their tempers. At the same time I’m scared all the commotion of the family would be too much for the interventionist. I also worry about the fact that my mother knows and uses the fact that my father and I have both abused drugs as a defense. I’m 27 and have party kinda of often( electronic scene) but have calmed down and lot and not heavily abused drugs for years. My father heavily abused many drugs until he had multiple heart attacks last year. He no longer uses cocaine but has started smoking and drinking occasionally again. I know for a fact she will call this out and I’m not sure how we’d respond to that without escalating.
I’m honestly not even convinced that rehab would help. She has a lifetime is extreme trauma and issues that she refuses to talk about with mental health professionals or anyone if she’s sober. I truly see her drinking for the rest of her life. A big issue is that there are virtually no consequences we can seriously dole out. My dad will never divorce her or kick her out because they are extremely codependent and he has major guilt issues. He will never prevent her from driving. He just bought her a new Benz for Christ’s sake! None of us have the capability of cutting her off right now - my sisters and I live with them, both sisters are in college, and my brother who is autistic and struggles with decent employment works for them. I’ve chosen not to interact with her in the past, but it just made her worse! There’s also 0% chance he will do the research to get her set up for rehab, as he never follows through with anything.
I truly believe this will be nothing but a money sink and that she will drink until she dies from an overdose or an accident. My father, her, and the rest of our family are too fucked up or toxic. My dad will most definitely drive her to relapse with his bullshit. But we have to give it a try. Otherwise it’s guaranteed she’ll never change.
If you made it through this, thank you so much for spending that time. I am very grateful for any advice given and hope that I find the light at the end of this tunnel. I feel for everyone here in similar positions.

Hello Everyone!
I just finished working my way through Designing Great Beers. I also have a copy of How to Brew, The Complete Joy of Homebrewing, Brewing like a Monk, Brewing with Wheat and Brewing Local American-Grown Beer and i have a copy of Culinary Artistry on the way to work flavor connections with Brewing Local. I have looked at the basic rundown and information in Designing Great Beers. From that I have a basic idea of what to use when designing this but I wanted to ask if anyone had recommendations for adjuncts or Yeast/Malts to look at or just advice in general on brewing this style of beer.
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I was also wondering if anyone had any advice on how to make sure I pay attention to the digestibility of the beer like mentioned in Brew like a Monk. I know it will not be the best, but I think it sounds like a nice challenge to do for my first self made recipe.

Hello, I’m vivi but you can also call me Val, I’m F(13) and like the caption said my life is going to shit. For a little context I have struggled with mental health issues and I grown up in a broken home. Which means emotionally unstable mother and absent father. Two years ago, My mother got into a relationship with step-dad everything was going well til mid year of 2022 into 2023. Their relationship is falling apart. I’m falling apart. They were happy together for a while but something just changed, I been on and off medications like no tomorrow and I have a bad habit of cutt!ng. any advice for my mental health or their relationship? Any help would be appreciated. ♡

Dogman Armchair Theories Topic 1: What is Dogman?

Introduction
Dogman Armchair Theories are this hobbyist's approach to a complex and misunderstood topic about the cryptid animal, Dogman. Discussion topics will include brief articles about behavior, habitat, thoughts about what dogman actually is, and other topics of interest. Suggestions from the community are welcome. Expect this topic to develop further with additional input from the community, and from additional research as it comes to light.
Topic Index
Click here to see past and upcoming topics.

• Attention, content creators: please see above link regarding terms of use for my content off reddit. Thank you.

Topic 1: A Brief Introduction to Dogman

Greetings! This first topic of Dogman Armchair Theories will discuss some basic questions related to the topic of Dogman. As stated in the Topic Index, the goal is to eventually create a series of articles that visitors may use to learn more about our favorite cryptid. Without further ado, let’s get’s started.
What is Dogman?
To lurkers of this subreddit, it may seem obvious what a dogman is. However, to a person not familiar with dogman, the term may call to mind a children’s comic by the same name, or perhaps a silly Halloween costume idea.
The reality is far more unexplainable, if not sinister. A dogman is a cryptid creature that appears as a bipedal canine.
Those unfortunate to encounter it describe feelings of fear, dread and that they are seeing something they should not. Aggressive encounters have been reported, with some alleged killings attributed to this creature.
Witnesses may describe dogman with other names of similar-appearing creatures. Examples include: “werewolf”, “dog/human hybrid”, or “wolfman”.
Given the many advances in technology, one may experience disbelief at the idea that a bipedal wolf-like monster is roaming woods around the world. While all opinions are worth exploring, the fact remains that people from all walks of life continue to report seeing something unexplainable in the woods (and occasionally in urban environments, too).
What does a dogman look like?
Typical encounters describe a monster that stands approximately 6-9ft in height, weighs up to half a ton, and has a distinct head with pointed ears, a long canine muzzle, amber or red-colored eyes, and black or brown fur.
Some witnesses describe seeing a tail, while others do not. Others describe hands similar to human hands, but with long nails that appear to be claws.
Typically Dogman is also described as being very muscular and lean.
Dogman is known to both run and walk on two legs, but can also maneuver on four legs. Some sightings describe loud ‘popping’ noises when a dogman goes from walking on all fours to walking on two legs.
The leg descriptions vary, with some saying the creature had human-style legs, or plantigrade, while other encounters described a creature with dog legs, “bent backwards”, possibly suggesting a digitigrade gait.
There is some debate about types and variations of dogman. Some witnesses describe creatures that are more hyena-like in appearance, others with “Anubis”-style heads, baboon faces, and so on. These variations will be discussed in later topic entries.
Where is Dogman found?
A vast majority of sightings of this cryptid occur across North and South America. More work is needed to quantify if certain areas have larger concentrations of sightings compared to others. But from Canada to Brazil, and possibly further, wherever there are ample food and water sources, or burial grounds, Dogman survives and thrives.
Witnesses have spotted Dogman in other places besides national parks or the general woods. Sightings exist on the outskirts of major cities, farms, ranches, and occasionally in urban areas during the late evening hours.
Is Dogman a Physical Animal?
At the present, there is no concrete evidence, such as DNA or a body released to public opinion, to suggest that dogman is a physical animal. This does not, however, cheapen the encounters of those who have been struck by the beast's claws or loved ones who have met grisly ends.
Simply put: there is not enough evidence for the scientific community as a whole to put funding towards research to explore this hypothesis. Until science catches up to the beast, we may never know for certain.
There is some debate about physical types and variations of dogman. Some witnesses describe creatures that are more hyena-like in appearance, others with “Anubis”-style heads, baboon faces, and so on. These will be discussed in a separate topic at a later date.
Several theories postulate that Dogman is both a physical and spiritual creature, walking between our physical realm and the 'other' realm we cannot see with our own eyes. Others claim it is a spiritual entity, hellbent on avenging the dead and chasing away those who disturb burial grounds.
What is the difference between Dogman and Werewolves?
Werewolves described in popular fiction, and also in historic folklore records, are people, humans, who have shapeshifted into a bipedal wolf creature via magic, genetics, or through spellwork with magical items (such as wolf belts). Some folklore stories describe wolf-headed people who can talk and communicate with others.
Dogman, or Dogmen, do not possess any transformation abilities. They simply exist in their oft-described form: a bipedal wolf-appearing creature that cannot communicate with verbal or written words. Some witnesses claim that Dogman speaks telepathically to them, but additional study will be needed to establish a pattern to these claims.
Topic 1 to be continued with feedback from the community. Thank you for your support!

I stumbled upon this sub a few days ago because I don't want to listen to the pieces of advice my friend Abel has given me about life; he is into that stoicism thing.
Even though I'm a complete normie, I'd like to be like you guys: you seem like really cool people, not like my family members.
I don't even exactly know what nihilism is nor who Nietzsche is or whatever, so I'd like to ask for your help: could you simply and concisely tell me what mindset I should have in order to be a nihilist? I mean, I don't like to read or anything, so a general idea would be fine, even a pair of one-liners would be great also.

I find that I need a creative recharge, especially if I have done a lot of creative work in a short time or if I have some problems in my personal life. The issue is that I need to really feel something before I can create. Not any feeling thought. I mean If I am depressed and numb, I can't. But if I really feel certain activating emotion, say, angry or happy or even sad, I can create. Sometimes I find those emotions inside but other times I rely on external help. I don't limit myself to one area. I look at poetry, paintings, sculptures, etc. Even a good movie can directly or indirectly make me want to create again, especially if the film is emotionally involving or if it is experimental/artistic.
How do you re-energize yourself?

Hi everyone, just looking for opinions/advice on our situation, throw away account. Around 2 years ago a small perhaps 1 year old cat started hanging around outside the house (uk) It would Creep in whilst we had doors open in summer and want fuss, we’d oblige as we’re animal lovers but then gently encourage her to leave, she’d come back next day or even through windows in the night occasionally (bungalow) this carried on for a few months all the while she seemed to be getting thinner, I asked the neighbours if she was theirs and no one said yes, a couple of neighbours said they do have strays locally, there’s a large Manor House and grounds near by so I assumed this was the case and we started to feed her. We also checked all forums and Facebook pages etc for lost pets for at least 6 months just in case but never saw anything. Quite quickly she made herself at home and would stay in the house all day and night just going out for a couple of hours for a mooch as they do. Gained weight and was very happy, her favourite spot was on my young daughters bed, needless to say we all fell in love with her. Fast forward 2 years and she was off her food for a few days so we took her to the vet for a checkup and get her chipped. The vet said she seemed fine and healthy but when we explained how we came to have her she scanned her and turns out she was chipped and had owners. The vets called them, they said they had not seen her for 2 years and presumed her dead, they were happy and wanted her back. We were gutted as we wanted to keep her but we had to give them their cat back so arranged that through the vet. I blamed myself for not getting her scanned sooner and told myself she’d be happy back home but to be honest we were quite depressed about the situation. My kids wrote a letter to just to say they were happy they’d found her and we left our number. Didn’t hear anything (if it was me I would of probably just sent a little text to say think you for taking care but whatever!) we were going on holiday the next week and had already organised a house sitter for cat and our tortoise & fish, so they still came even tho we didn’t have the cat there. A few days in we had a txt to say the cat was outside meowing to come in. We had already explained the cat situation so told sitter to not let her in but when she txt agin the next day to say the cat had not left the garden I broke and told her to let her in and feed her. I’m starting to think that she obviously doesn’t want to be with her owners, she showed up 11 days after we took her in (owners should of kept her in to reacclimatise?) it’s day 15 now, back from holiday a few days, she was so happy to see us and I don’t have the heart to kick her out. They have our number and haven’t called but she’s been here all day and night barring an hour or 2 so they can’t have seen her for 4 days at least. My biggest problem is we are moving in a couple of weeks. I want to take her with us. What should I do? It seems more cruel to me to separate her from us when we’ve taken care of her for most of her life.