And the most recent Video, Crytek (or rather its Franchise Manager) announced, among other things, that there will no longer be Rewards from playing matches with the next patch (1.13).
Let me present the case:
Hunt is in the silver tier of the "Best of 2022" Steam Showcase. There, Steam puts games into tiers from Platin to Bronze. The games are place based on Top Gross income. Since we do not have exact numbers we can only put them in perspective:
Hunt made more income in the year 2022 than games like Terraria, BF 2042, Path of Exile, The Witcher and many more (see links above). A lot of these games are not unknown to most ears.
So? What is this money spent on?
Let's have a look:
Servers:
We have servers that on average run on 30 ticks, so overly simplified, the server is doing calculations in 30 FPS. In Comparison, 128 tick servers are present in Valorant and CS:GO, which is an unrealistic expectation, but atleast 60 Hz or 30 Hz while loading in all Mobs in an idle state should be possible in 2023. Granted, the servers need to calculate a lot of A.I movement but the term "Hunt servers" is already put up in a negative light.
Anti-Cheat and Cheater consequences:
Quite frankly, it's awful. With stories like this, this and this really giving the impression that Crytek is not even permabanning cheaters, or do not act on soft cheaters.
Furthermore, Easy Anti Cheat, Epic Games' Anti-Cheat service is free for game developers. Data Security and Internet Privacy concerns aside (Tencent), the last news blog on cheating was about 3 years ago. We do not know when the last EAC update was either. I can't help but feel that this cat and mouse game has a cat napping near the stove.
Removal of BB Rewards for the Tutorial:
With the introduction of the new Tutorial, the BB Rewards from the previous "Tutorial" was scrapped entirely from 250 BB to 0. While it was reduced 2 years prior from 800 BB to 250 BB. That little change somehow didn't make into the patch notes but I am sure it just wasn't worth mentioning.
New Patches bringing new bugs:
From the Lemat Bug, to the Reload Bug, to the floating tools Bug and Hunt servers not being able to count reserve ammo or how many throwing knives/axes you picked up. Yes, we are getting there, and yes some get fixed. But it is pointless when 5 bugs are fixed per patch, and 5 new ones take their place.
This patch alone we had:
FPS drops when closing the map (quite noticeable when playtesting don't you think)
Weapon Holster on saddles dropping your main weapon when canceling (Weapons are exchanged in almost every game from downed hunters, why is this bugged?)
Completely unrelated to any changes: Hornskin somehow takes away any blunt damage reduction from your teammates, making you oneshot from Winnie Cen. Trauma or Hammers.
Saddle Bags previously were able to give you 5 consumables with Packmule, now it was "fixed", and instead of giving you 5 consumables, it just removes 1 consumable (from a consumables that has 2 charges) - They are, after all, toolboxes that have a different item pool.
An Saddle Bags sometimes not appearing for every Player.
The last social media post about the Q & A Team playtesting Hunt was in 2019, I hope they are still doing good :)
Battle Passes get cheaper:
Let's see if they have the same amount of Quality and Levels as previous Passes. Also to do the math: To get 1000 Blood Bonds, you would need to play 50x20 - 20 consecutive Weeks, which is like 5 months to get a Battle Pass which is free to play.
New content:
Yes, I can't leave that one out, if I want to be fair. Good content is good and nice, and necessary to increase player count and player retention. However, what Hunt needs right now is QoL features and improvement of existing systems (and don't try to fix systems that already work fine *cough* up and downstair sounds and MMR system). Hunt needs an operation Health and I hope this goes hand in hand with the announced Cryengine update.
---
Did I forget anything? I mean they added Charms, and Charm rarity shortly after so that's nice.
Please, don't remove BB rewards for playing the game, for engaging with the game so that those who do do indeed buy BB and DLCs have (same skilled) enemies to play against. This change is extremly anti-customer and punishes players that play the game daily and regulary. Those who do make up most of your player numbers.

Coming face to face with people in suits always makes me hyper-aware of how badly I dress. Since I knew I was going to meet up with Mary Markov today, I intentionally put some more effort into my appearance. I picked out a pressed shirt to wear over my leggings. Since it was far too big for me, I threw my wide yellow belt into the mix. Thus satisfied, I called up Elijah Carter and asked whether he wanted to come along. He agreed readily enough so I had him pick me up and drive us over to Mary's office. It was nowhere near the hospital and not in the vicinity of her news channel headquarters either. It was located in a slate gray concrete building that was quite confusing to look at.
No outside observer could have mistaken it for a residential house, for there was hardly a less homely or comfortable place imaginable. It was utterly repellent in its rough, dreary nature. It couldn't have belonged to some kind of business either, though. There were no marked parking spaces for employees, no signs or advertisements. Altogether, it reminded me of something out of a cheap or unfinished video game.
"Sketchy," Eli remarked, eyeing the slab of concrete with a similar lack of enthusiasm. "Looks almost abandoned. How weirdly fitting for a semi-secret government operation."
I nodded. The warm air had taken me by surprise and I found the weight of my jacket suffocating, so I took it off to leave in the car. "What is it?" I asked, noticing the way Elijah squinted at my outfit.
"What are you wearing?"
"Clothes."
"You don't say." He snorted. "Looking kinda funny there, Shirley."
"I look professional," I corrected him.
"I suppose." He grinned to himself. "Depends on the profession, though."
We rang the bell and a highly official-looking security guard let us in through the heavy double doors after confirming that Mary Markov was expecting us. He gave the necessary directions, sending us down several flights of stairs. The better part of the building was in fact underground, like with an iceberg. Eli made a remark about how it'd be safer if outsiders weren’t allowed to roam the place by themselves. It seems to be a habit of his to vaguely analyze and point out flaws in the structures of government institutions. Then again, maybe it's just flaws in general he's fascinated with.
Upon arriving outside Mary's office, we were called inside to find her sitting behind her desk. She lifted her head, giving us a polite, if cold, smile. "Good morning. You're on time. Wonderful."
"Would you please give me an honest appraisal of my outfit?" I asked.
The newsreader frowned in confusion, her eyes briefly roaming my form. "You put effort into your appearance today," she concluded. "It's appreciated."
"Wait, what do you mean today?" I inquired.
"Note also how she did not actually answer your question," Elijah added.
I huffed, flinging myself into one of the chairs in front of Mary's desk. Eli sat down beside me, folding his hands in his lap and leaning back. "Thanks for letting me come with Shirley," he told her.
"Naturally. I assume you're her emotional support human." Mary Markov's lips curled slightly. "At any rate, you had contact with the Collective yourself, so this does concern you. As far as I'm concerned, it can't hurt having an ex-cop in the mix, anyways. Despite the regrettable reasons you had for leaving the force."
Elijah's brows lowered, the muscle in his pronounced jaw twitching. "How do you know about that?"
Mary looked innocent. "It's very important that I'm fully informed, of course. Don't worry. We don't need to go into it, and I don't judge you, either. The effect the incident at that highschool had on you is completely understandable."
"I didn't ask for your assessment." My friend's voice had sharpened. "Can we move on from this?"
"Of course." If the sudden shift in tone had rattled the agent, she wasn't letting it on. Sifting through the neat stack of papers on her desk, she pulled out a thin brown file which she slid over to me. "Miss Shirley, you remember the female member of the Collective we took into custody? She has already been questioned by the local police. Unfortunately, I don't have the authority to lead such an interrogation, but I was present for it and I want you to have this transcript."
I perked up and began leafing through the folder.
"You may take that with you to read in peace," Mary told me. "But don't expect too much, lest you'll be sorely disappointed. The girl hardly said anything at all. The most helpful information she gave us was a name she kept referencing. Jewel. At first, we thought it was a sort of code word, but it seems to be what the other person she was with calls themself."
“Jewel,” I echoed.
“Sadly enough, that’s all we have. We’ve never provided our services to anyone of their physical description. There are a couple clues, but they don’t amount to anything helpful. There’s the fact that you met them at a convenience store with relatively high prices. Maybe I’m just grasping at straws, but that could indicate a cushy financial situation. On top of that, the store is rather far away from here, so they might be an out-of-towner. They also might be able to influence the way others perceive them, considering the way they seemed to hypnotize you in the woods merely by holding eye contact.”
“How come they couldn’t do anything to Frank Preston?”
Mary Markov twinkled at me. “They couldn’t? Huh. That rather intrigues the philosopher in me. Jewel works through eye contact and it is said that the eyes are the window to the soul.” She cocked her head at me.
“Are you saying Blondie doesn’t have a soul?” Eli asked, raising a skeptical brow. “Is this one of those Plato-Schopenhauer-whatevers?”
The newsreader shrugged artfully, watching my reaction. “We could discuss this for hours on end. I only meant to draw attention to the implied distinction between an organically born entity and a being who was originally an inanimate object.”
“I beg your pardon?” I said slowly.
“Oh, nevermind; that’s neither here nor there.” Her tone told me that she did, in fact, consider it to be both here and there. Not wanting to go further into this with her, I made a mental note to ask Frankie later.
“There’s more,” I added, trying to gently prepare her for what I was about to say. “I want to get Kit Sutton back.”
Mary’s lips thinned. “Excuse me?”
“I don’t mean for the town to get flooded in the process. I think we can find a solution to help her, if we work together. I’m convinced we can figure something out, but I don’t believe in abandoning her anymore. Which is essentially what we’re doing if we leave her to her fate.”
“You do realize what you’re asking of me? Your former roommate isn’t some kind of minor water spirit. Her father appears to hold tremendous power over the seas, or at the very least our part of it. He has countless similarly dangerous individuals at his service so he might be considered a ruler of sorts, if not a deity.”
“So Kit’s the little mermaid, basically?” Elijah asked, equal parts joking and genuinely intrigued.
Mary grinned an actual, amused grin. “I must ask you to take this seriously, Mr Carter.”
“I am!” he chuckled, raising his hands. “I swear.”
“Anyways, Miss Shirley, the point you make is an individualistic one, but I see why you’re invested in the girl’s fate. I want to help, I do… But we need to proceed with caution. If you can suggest to me some kind of sensible approach, then I’ll do what I can. That’s all the promises I can make at the moment.”
I thanked her and got up, Eli following me as I headed for the door. “Miss Shirley,” Mary called out and I stopped, turning back around to face her. “If you like my style, we could perhaps meet up to go shopping sometime? I could show you some quality stores. It wouldn’t be anytime soon since I’m currently swamped, but I figure—well, just in case you might like to.”
I nodded. “That sounds pleasant enough.”
She smiled brightly and waved us out the door. “Excellent. I’ll be in touch.”
Back inside the car, I tossed the file onto the backseat to read later. “Would you like to go to the beach?” I suggested.
“Why not. Wait, is this for a stroll and ice cream or do you want to kickstart the mermaid-rescue-operation?”
“I can’t see why it shouldn’t be both,” I replied comfortably. “We’ll need to take your flashlight, though.”
"You know I don't like getting myself into trouble unless it's paid."
"Yes, but you also find me endearing and want to protect me from danger, which you can only do by accompanying me."
"You're a terrifying tentacle beast from another dimension. I don't know that I'm all that scared for your safety," he grunted.
I gave him an affronted look. "You have now hurt my feelings."
"Have I?"
"Plenty, but I'll forgive you if you come with me."
Elijah Carter sighed deeply but started driving anyway. I let my arm dangle out of the open window, allowing the warming spring air to wash over my skin. The closer we got to the shore, the stronger the scent of salt mixed into the breeze. The cries of seagulls became audible over the sounds of the road and the streaming wind and was finally joined by the crashing of waves when we pulled into a parking spot and got out of the car. Taking along the heavy duty flashlight he always kept in the passenger seat footwell, I led Eli to the mouth of the cave, explaining what Nettie and I had seen along the way. He looked commendably calm, simply turning on the torch and entering alongside me.
The tunnels were just as damp, dim and quiet as the last time. Before long, we had reached the spacious canyon room with the lake at the bottom. "I want to go across and see if there's anything important in the rest of the grotto back there," I reminded him. "Please hold on to your bearings."
"I'm not repeating your mistakes," he replied gamely. "What do you think? This oughta be connected to the ocean somehow." He let the beam of the torch roam the mirror-like surface of the lake. It seemed almost deceptively quiet. My eyes followed the lengthy stone ledge. Eli stepped close, and after receiving a nod of approval, he grabbed me around the waist and hoisted me onto the rocky protrusion. I straightened up, instantly pressing my back against the wall. A wave of nausea hit me as I glanced at the water below. "Chill," Elijah muttered, climbing after me with ease. "Nothing will happen. You're not gonna fall."
I merely shook my head. "You didn't see what's down there."
"And I won't, because we'll be careful," he answered steadfastly.
I started walking, the warm light of the torch upon my back, illuminating the path ahead. The shelf narrowed as we reached the end. I swiftly clambered down, relieved to place my feet on wider, solid ground once more. Now looking over the lake from the other side, it had an entirely different feel to it. It seemed darker somehow, but also less big—I attributed it to the change in perspective. We were standing in a cramped little nook with two passageways leading off into separate directions behind us. Elijah Carter eyed them pensively. “Which do you reckon?”
I pursed my lips. “The right one. Because it’s right.”
“Makes sense.”
We proceeded into the passage, the tight space pushing us closer together. He had to duck his head, uncomfortably hunching his shoulders, and for once, I was grateful for my own short stature. The corridor seemed to go on forever. The darkness and silence created a feel of unnatural solitude, and for more than once, I got the distinct impression that I must have jumped dimensions again. It was as though Elijah and I were enclosed in some kind of bubble, cut off from everything outside; a place where time was a foreign concept and the only sun was our flashlight. Needless to say, I was distinctly uneasy. I allowed myself to lean back, brushing against Eli’s chest whenever I could. Eventually, I cleared my throat.
“Could you touch me?”
“What?”
“Just so I still know you’re there.”
His palm came to rest on my shoulder, his thumb digging into one of the tense, painfully rigid muscles of my upper back, forcing it to soften. “Good?”
“Yes, thank you.”
He hummed. “You’re scared.”
“Yes.”
“Me, too.”
This caused my resolve to falter. “Maybe we should turn around after all,” I said quietly. “Who knows how much longer—”
“Look.”
I perked up. Before us, the tunnel grew wider, opening into a large, spacious room. We picked up our pace, tackling the remaining distance in a light jog, and finally found ourselves standing in another hall. The beam of light traveled the floor and high walls, revealing a sight that took our breath away. We were standing in front of another lake, only slightly smaller than the last. The water glittered in violet hues and strange, pale plants climbed up the walls, some of them looking rather like starfish. Multiple rocky protrusions formed an almost complete bridge across its middle. With a bit of light climbing, we'd undoubtedly be able to get to the other side. Wordlessly, Elijah Carter swung himself up onto the platform closest to the edge of the water, pulling me up after him. The flashlight switched hands a couple times as we maneuvered ourselves along.
Soon, we reached the middle of the lake. I risked a glance at the water below. All was still and perfectly quiet. Eli was about to take on the next rock when suddenly, I felt something heavy and gooey drip onto my head from above. I flinched, then slowly pointed the torch up to the ceiling. My stomach dropped. My throat had turned paper-dry, and I frantically tugged on Eli’s arm. He tipped his head back, following my pointing finger. His eyes blew wide and his face fell.
There was a creature clinging to the high walls, its pale, enormous body describing a streamline curve as it pressed itself against the hollowed stone. The closest thing I can compare it to would be a sort of olm, except probably a hundred times larger. Its snout looked large enough to swallow either of us whole. It hung open, secreting a thick fluid that slowly dripped down to hit the rocks or create ripples upon the water. Its blind eyes seemed to be trained on us, and I could spot tiny, sharp teeth lining its maw. It wasn’t moving, not even an inch, but somehow, I knew it was aware of us.
I looked up at Elijah, the panic in his eyes mirroring mine. Both of us had freezed up mid-motion, not daring to take another step. My mind was running wild; I was thinking feverishly. We’d have to turn around for sure, but how? The olm was already highly alert, if we were to start scrambling back to solid ground, it would undoubtedly hear us straight away. Eli looked equal parts terrified and furious, and I could tell he was scolding himself for not thinking to check the entirety of the room before proceeding across the lake. I could understand the sentiment, we’d definitely made a grave mistake. I figured it had been the misleading beauty of the cave hall that had taken our edge off. Glancing over into the direction we’d come from, I found myself wishing to be back in the endless dark corridor. The entrance to the passage seemed miles away.
The olm lifted a three-toed foot, shifting its massive form to a lower spot on the wall. It was taking a tentative step towards us, extending its snout as its body bent into our direction. Elijah had grabbed onto my arm, his fingers clamping around it like a vice. He stayed silent and unmoving, but he held my gaze with clear, sharp eyes.
“Don’t move,” I mouthed, and he gave me a curt nod.
Slowly, I reached around to push my shirt out of the way of my unfurling tentacles. Elijah took a quiet step back to make room for my changing form, something of a resolute expression settling on his face. I opened my mouth, relieved when my teeth acted according to my will and elongated. I didn’t know to what extent I would be able to defend against this absolute giant of an amphibian, but at least it would give us a chance. I took a deep breath, trading glances with Eli once more before darting off to the side, bounding onto the platform next to our current one. Elijah followed suit, grabbing onto one of the limbs I extended to him for support. Despite the swiftness of our movements, we were anything but quiet, and the olm reacted in an instant. It slithered down from the wall, sinking into the lake below to make its way to the rocks we were standing on. As we headed for the next stone, it darted out of the water, splashing wildly as its snout breached the surface. Its jaws snapped at us, missing me by a mere foot as I jumped across the gap between the protrusions. Droplets flew as the creature dropped once more, but instead of retreating, it swam around the platform. Its massive, snake-like body was bobbing up and down as it circled us.
“Oh fuck,” Elijah breathed, his chest heaving. “Keep going! Move, move!”
I took a short running start, then flung myself onto the next rock, using my extra limbs to land safely. I then helped him cross again. The olm rose from the depths of the lake once again, and I lashed at it with one of my tentacles, hitting it on the snout and forcing it to dive underwater again. We kept working our way back towards the other side of the lake, slipping and sliding as we went. The water surrounding us seemed to hum with unrestrained energy, the white salamander’s tail whipping up waves and splashing around. We were finally getting close to solid ground again, or at least it looked like we were for a moment. That’s when the creature took a massive leap, draping itself over the final stepping stone, effectively blocking our path.
“Shit,” Eli hissed beside me as we came to a skittering halt.
I’d have to try and fight this thing. There was no way around it now. I clenched my sweat-laced palms into fist, trying to slow my rapid, shallow breaths. I can do this, I said to myself. All I’d have to do is send it back into the lake for long enough so we could run back into the tunnel. There was no way the olm would fit through the passage—once we were in there, we’d be relatively safe. I stared at the dripping, writhing animal; stared at its bared needle teeth, and the less hopeful, more realistic part of my brain told me that I would, indeed, probably not be able to do this. Just as I was contemplating the degree of our screwed-ness, an unseen someone called out from behind us. I didn’t understand a word they were saying, but I recognized the language, and more importantly, the voice.
It was bright as a bell, girlish but with a rough, warm edge. Even before I could turn to face her, I knew who it was.
The gigantic amphibian perked up at the sound, lowering its head and withdrawing into the murky depths with a splash. Elijah Carter let go of a long-held breath, dropping his shoulders before tensing up again, realization setting in. He shot me a look of utter disbelief.
“Wow,” the newcomer spoke up again, this time not in the tongue of the deep ones. “You two have to be actually crazy or something to show up here.”
X
1
2: deadbeat roommate
3: creepy crush
4: relocation
5: beach concert
6: First date
7: Temp work
8: roommate talk
9: a dismal worldview
10: warehouse
11: staircase
12: explanation
13: hurt
14: hospital
15: ocean
16: diner
17: government work
18: something in the caves
19: shopping cart

All my favourite servers which I have very fond memories of have had their usual population halved or even more, you still find forty or so during the afternoon when servers are most active. I just don't get why the devs don't even at least do basic maintenance, this has been the state of legacy ever since the server thing has gone to shit.
does anyone know any somewhat active legacy servers though? preferably semi-realism (like river den if anyone reading this has played on it)

Hi all,
Quick questions around an injury my partner has sustained at work, I'll keep it brief and just outline the current facts (purposely extremely vague but hopefully you will understand)
​

• Partner started job at small business with <5 employees including owner
• Partner arrived at work as usual, employed less than 1 year but more than 6 months
• Raised a health and safety concern regarding the welfare of an animal she was dealing with in her professional capacity
• Was told by the employer that said animal was fine and to carry on business as usual
• Next appointment with said animal, they have received a significant injury to their hand, injury not recorded in accident book as they don't have one
• Partner is now on SSP and out of some kind of misguided loyalty tried to return to work however the employer has told them they have arranged cover therefore they require a further sick note as they already have cover and has instructed them that they are not to return to work until it suits them (not when the injury is resolved)
• The employer has no signed (or actually any at all) contracts / no procedures/policies for ANYTHING / no risk assessments for individual animals / no employers liability insurance documents displayed / no HSE poster / no HSE documentation provided on start date / refuses to muzzle vicious animals resulting in regular smaller injuries
• They have berated my partner, stating its just a bruise despite multiple medical professionals explaining that there is serious damage to the affected area

​
Obviously, like 99% of the UK, my partner is worried if they do not return to work, things will be become very financially difficult for us, we also know of several other breaches in employment rights regarding a protected characteristic under the equalities act 2010 with othet employees. My annoyance is more that she preys on the vulnerable and naïve, and I don't want her to be able to force my partner out of work and effectively leave us up the creek without a paddle.
​
I want to ensure my partner receives the help and support she needs to rehabilitate her injury, and not be left financially destitute because of another business owner who thinks they can flout the rules, what should we be doing next? Our wain worry is retaliation as she has been there for less than 2 years and one wage will not support our household.
​
Any advice is appreciated

Looking for either or of these sets sealed/new condition

We were able to secure a couple dozen more parking spots at the business next door, right across the street from the entrance to Railbird! Please chat your name, phone number, estimated time of arrival, and model of vehicle you’ll be in to reserve a spot. If you’ve already reserved parking you should have heard from me. Please reach out again if you did not! Your parking spot will be available from 8-12 am Saturday, $80 for the weekend, cash on arrival, at 1075 Redmile Road. If you intend to arrive later than noon, and would like your spot reserved you will need to Venmo payment. All unreserved spots will be sold for $50 a day, first come first serve starting at noon. The parking lot is less than 1,000 feet from the festival entrance. Entrance to the lot begins at 8 am Saturday morning (6/3). Come and go as you like, but all vehicles MUST be removed by 6 am Monday morning (6/5). There will be someone on the premises overnight Saturday as well as a grill, smoker and griddle fired up throughout the weekend.

I moved to a new city in August of last year and was dealing with loneliness and so decided to get tinder. We matched and met at a local park at the beginning of February this year. For context, he is Indian and moved to the states in 2018 and works for a popular streaming company as a machine learning engineer. I am a 2019 college graduate interning with a government agency that deals with land management, and am a Black American.
We talked about the city. We moved to, things we both did and didn't like about it, and I also told him of course about my experiences with race in this country and how America is not always the land of opportunity it's perceived as being. We were able to have intelligent discussions, and he often commented on my intelligence, my cooking, and we often enjoyed each other's company.
However, being isolated in this new city, I noticed that I was definitely excited to see him and hadn't been forging other relationships, even though the place I'm in is notorious for being a difficult place to make friends. I think he noticed this and had mentioned to me that he knew how much I cared about him, but that he hadn't decided how he felt about our future. I became anxious about this and noticed that I started to try and proved to him that I was desirable, an obviously unhealthy pattern.
I also took a lot of time to get to know his culture, learning a little bit of his language and watching Indian movies together. We also talked about cricket, and other things, in my effort to get to know him better. I felt like I invested a lot in the relationship early on, especially because he was the first boyfriend I'd had in years, and was 8 years my senior, so I definitely felt younger and less experienced, but not necessarily less mature.
Finally, disagreements became more frequent, and there were remarks on our age difference, ideological differences, and differences and values, although I felt that we did, it have as many differences as maybe he pointed out. He finally mentioned me to his parents, and he really, I think, started to become invested in the relationship, but his parents protested when they found out my identity. (They are from North India.)
Things also started to get a little bit wonky between us and just in general in our separate lives, and I felt like things weren't going the way that I had intended. It seemed really difficult to communicate, and like things were just both getting difficult for both of us individually as well as together as a couple. I should also mention that we were intimate early on, and there were issues connected to this.
Basically, a few life events made me feel like it was time for me to break up with him, although I kind of felt rushed into it, but it felt like the right decision, seeing that things were not going the way that I wanted them to go, and I think the feeling was mutual. Although, he told me that he wasn't going to break up with me, but rather finally have the conversation about some things that had been bothering him, which I had been asking him about. Because in his culture it's not necessarily the norm to be very direct, he had been avoiding the conversation for weeks. I had been eager to hear it so we can talk it out, but he often avoided confrontation. I tried not to push it, he often told me not to ask "difficult questions," preferring to just be in the moment, which often irritated me, but I acquiesced.
The breakup impacted me more than I realized, and I had, forgive me, this powerful, empty and aching feeling, wishing that I could see him everyday. I was flying out to see a family member and I ended up visiting him on prompted when he didn't answer my call, me thinking that something might have happened to him. I was in a bad place and in hindsight that was a bad move, and then things got very awkward afterwards.
Afterwards, I kept worrying about how he was doing or if he was okay. Sometimes, I don't know if he really is; he has a lot of other things going on in his life, like immigration, tech, bubble issues, his parents health, and other things. Sometimes I wish we could hang out because there are times where it felt like we really had a good time together, but I feel like it's not the right thing to do anymore. I am somewhat a believer in cold turkey, but I feel so wishy-washy nowadays.
TL;DR: I think about my ex often and I miss him almost every day; although it was messed up in a lot of ways, I often felt like he was the only place that I could feel safe, especially being a woman who was single in a new city, especially in a place where I felt like I stood out. I know it's not a good idea to reach out to him, but I often wonder if he feels that all the same, or really just looking for some insight into how he might be feeling. It is the proverbial "Indian guy who can't convince his parents to get serious with someone outside of his culture," definitely, but sometimes I wish that we could have talked it out or worked it out. I think it is my fault for proposing to break up, but at the time it felt like it was the best decision. How do I move on and find peace with the fact that he may never be my life again? It feels too heavy to bear.
Happy to provide more context if needed. Trying to remain as anonymous as possible.

If you haven't received your bonus after 90 days make sure to ask or contact hr which is what I had to do. And it is available for full time and part time employees my store leader tried to tell me it was just for full time which it's not. My only question I have for anyone reading this am I wrong to assume that once I receive the bonus if I were to leave before a year I would not have to pay it back per the agreement portion? I assume this cause nowhere does it state that if I don't complete 12 months of employment I have to pay back the bonus.

Hey y’all I live in the USA and am wondering if y’all have shipped stuff from Lusaka to you here in the states! Trying to see if my sister can ship something to me but she’s never done it before! Also do y’all know of companies that ship from the USA to Zambia?

I created a new reddit account for the purposes of typing down my thoughts; I didn't realize how much journaling actually doe's for me. If I don't write it down it just continues to build up; It takes me a while to release these thoughts. On the other topic, I created another reddit account as the last one had stalkers on it... I hope it doesn't happen again. Of course I don't need to type my every thought on here, but it feels good to press that post button and send them away; like I'm talking to a pen pal.
I feel very lonely. I made some online friends by pure chance. I first met the two of them back in october 2022. I felt this pit in my chest that needed filling. I usually don't join v.c's on discord after entering random servers, but I was desperate and thought: "What's the worst that can happen,I can just log off". I am so very glad I did this. We still text each other! On one hand it brings me so much joy to be around people that accept me and have similar interests; On the other hand, I Think about them all the time and get all sorts of strange thoughts and strenous emotions, that sometimes drives me to faint nausea.
I often think about deleting all my social media and starting over, as having online friends often doesn't fully satisfy me. I still feel alone. I felt less alone, when I had no-one; What a paradox! I can't actually touch them, walk along side them, feel safe by them. There is a limited experience when it comes to online relationships. I feel like I'm starting to slip and lose my hold on people; I feel our boats slowly drift apart. Ocassionaly there may be a change in wind and sail; and we drift slightly closer. Although to stay close required a prolonged effort and this attraction need's to be willed. One
of my friends seem to have always kept a distance. I wish to get closer, But I am horrible at social interactions and rack my brain trying to think of what to say to them and how to carry on the conversation. On the verge of metal breakdown I started texting everyone; I first started to attempt conversations on discord servers, but it was in vain, I couldn't get anything going. I have no word's left, no more quips, I am trying to find someone to talk to even if I am completely interested in them and it shows. My attempts at making new "friends" went horribly. I think I just wanted to feel validated; Or perhaps I trying to ignite new friendships as I feel my current ones are at a certain cross roads. I could attempt to grow the relationships, But I feel as if they don't like me, I always feel like this, and want to give up.
I texted all three of my whatsapp friends today also, I am so desperate for something. I was thinking a moment ago that they must hate me, and I mean nothing to them, That I am a horrible person, with an awful personality. I still can't get this idea out of head, that everyone else must hate me. Could it be possible that it's true? I don't think so, but my relationships at work are on the verge of telling me otherwise.
One thing that has always irked me with life, Is that we have to move on, changes have to be made, whether you like it or not. My original defence against this inevitable tide, is to give up early, to ignore people and delete my accounts once I start to like them. This way I feel like I can't get caught up in that feeling, that everything will be gone, and all that will be left are memories. I understand it's stupid, but sabotage is how I have dealt with it for a long time, and not much has changed; I still get urges to ghost everyone and start over; Because how much I love people, and I never want them to leave me! I am not jesus, I get tired of people sometimes, and this makes me feel disappointed as... I'm not entirely sure, what I actually feel.
Let me try to understand it. I Sometimes open my whatsapp, or discord; look at some people who I haven't talked to in a while and I feel some sort of sadness, or disappointment. I would love to be their friend! But maybe it's not meant to be? No, this isn't what I feel, I don't understand it. I am in perplexion. That isn't the correct feeling. Again, it could be described as some sort of emptiness. Perhaps it's disappointment in a relationship never fully realized; I wish for beautiful relationships! I my self don't know what it means. I would like to be really close to someone. How do I go about doing this? How do I attract people? I am attracted to people, but no-one is ever attracted to me?
Why is no-one attracted to me? Of course it must be my personality. I'm not sure what I am, and I'm sure other's don't either. More internal reflection is required. I feel like I'm just drifiting through life, clueless of what lies dormant. Of course I do have some core principles and vapid ideologies. When I ask myself the question: "What reason is there for me to live, I often think, "none, but as long as I'm here I will try and do some good". This would be the reason for attempting veganism; Hopefully one day I will be able to commit fully to it. I am also an antinatlist, and against consumerism as people are ofetn exploited In industries required by capitalism.
I try and be nice to people, but, I am terrible at being compassionate, A part of me just won't let me. I often act very coldly as another defence mechanism, It's a behaviour I learned a long time ago and admittely it has lowered the quality of my life greatly. I want to bloom! But how? How do I become this other person? Should I experience this mostly alone, or surround myself with people I love? In which way do I develop? Thre is this tendancy to fall back into though patterns that have prevades most of my life: self-loathing, general negative thoughts about the world, and suicidal ideation. I think about suicide alot; and have been for atleast a decade. I just feel like I can't get along with people, as it I am some sort of alien. I also often think about, as previously stated, my purpose for existence; There really isn't one thing I would like to dedicate my life too. And thinking about spending chunks of my life focus on a certain field fills me with dread, knowing how many more things there are to experience!
I really struggle with living, but I get up again, and again; Drag myself through these motions, and rituals. I fear death, I can't kill myself. I would tell myself that I believe it will get better somewhere around the corner; I don't believe that. What I am doing right now isn't living. Again I am filled with a profound sense of emptiness. It always come's back to this dreaded emptiness.
I felt like I could write another 10 paragraphs, but i've had enough for now.

What's up EDC Gang!
Got a random bundle consisting of a custom SAK, a couple vintage folding slipjoint forks, a handful of bottle openers, and a nylon zippered pouch.
Looking to move the entire lot of nine items for only $48.
Timestamp/Video Overview
Modded Super Tinker - Nelson Custom Works - [C] for permanent mods (steel scales and pocket clip) and wear on both blades and the scissors from use. Both blades plus the scissors are still sharp, and the rest of the tools are in excellent shape. A fantastic custom SAK. Normally his work goes for around $100+ from the maker.
Rustland Revisions Forged Iron Bottle Opener - [A] for being brand new and unused. This thing is a beast weighing in at 7.3oz! The bottle opener is coated with the maker’s secret sauce, making it corrosion resistant.
Vintage Boy Scouts of America - Cap Lifter Fork Slipjoint - [C] for wear and being a vintage piece. Still in great condition. Very snappy spring and interesting pivot sliding mechanism.
Vintage G.E.O. Schrade - Wire Slipjoint Fork - [C] for wear and also being a vintage piece. In fantastic condition given its age. Very snappy walk and talk. Intriguing wire construction that makes up the entire handle and backspring.
Vintage Lucky Lager - Bottle/Can Opener - [C] for being a vintage piece and some wear. Great condition and a fine collector’s piece.
Vintage Coors - Bottle/Can Opener - [C] for some wear and being a vintage piece. Great condition. Awesome for any collection or budget EDC gear you won’t worry about using.
Villain Tools - Multibar - [C] for some wear on the bottle opener portion. This is CNC’d from a solid piece of aluminum. Carries a double sided bit with a philipps end and a flat head end. The bit fits at the triangle cut out on the butt end. Great lightweight tool.
Solid Steel - Jack o’ Lantern Lego Bottle Opener - [A] for being brand new and unused. I bought this from a maker a while back and cannot remember who it was, nor can I find the website. Quality CNC machining and an awesome design, especially if you’re a fan of Legos.
Nylon Zippered Pouch - [C] for adding a paracord but is otherwise new. Can’t remember the maker but this is a well made zippered pouch. Can fit a few small EDC items like a lighter, chapstick, small pry bar, small knife, small flashlight, etc.

Thanks for looking everyone! Let me know if you have any questions or need some more pictures. Feel free to send me offers too.

i am here to share the 5 great truths hidden to us by the government:

1. girls aren't real: the most fundamental of the truths, girls are a mere fabrication - a figment of of our imagination.
2. everyone is gay: a difficult truth to swallow (sometimes literally) but if there are women, that means that you cannot be attracted to them. so everyone is gay.
3. trans-materialization: this is a more scientific truth than the others, it is the process of how trans-men appear from nothing & how trans-women disappear without a trace. it is also theorised to be how babies are created.
4. the government: there is only one government, it controls nearly everything - it somehow managed to control the naturally occurring hallucinations we call "women", and use them as government drones. they have also somehow monopolised the creation of new humans.
5. ???: i can't tell you this one, because i do not know it... the road to the truth is a long one.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yX3YPEaxlSk&ab_channel=NRLonNine

Hey!
My Mom's cat is now with us because of health issues. So far, we have been able to nurse him back to health (needs potassium powder due to adrenal issues), but he doesn't get along with our other two cats.
I am looking into rehoming him and have already went through applying for Underdog's rehoming website, but they have not stated if they will post him or not.
He is really sweet and I just want him to enjoy his twilight years. And he just can't do that with us or with Mom. :(
Any help would be appreciated!

I need help. I don’t have the words to describe it. I’m so paranoid, I’m so crazy, I’m so angry, I’m so hostile. I just want to be happy and feel normal again. I know I’m not alone in feeling these things, and I know that a lot of my feelings are irrational and I should just let them roll off my back, but I just can’t. I hold grudges and get so angry. There are times I turn into a completely different person. All of my rage and violence is directed to myself. Something just comes over me and I need to hurt myself. I was so completely terrified today. I was lucky my dad was in the room with me. I don’t know what I was thinking, but I wanted to plunge a knife into my throat and I lunged for the knife block and everything. I’m still so shaken and mortified, embarrassed, etc. Moments before this incident, I was already beating on myself, on my head and my legs, biting my arm. I’m so bruised up. I hate looking at myself. I’m so embarrassing.
I can’t control these feelings anymore. I can’t be this burden to my family anymore. They do everything to take care of me, I’m such a stressor and cause of strife. I know they love me and I just don’t deserve the care they provide me. I want to be able to return it. I’m so embarrassed and mortified when people see me in these states of anger, and see me hurt myself. I even feel the need to find release like this when I’m act my place of work. And when I finally calm down and gain my composure, I feel so stupid and embarrassed and full of shame. I need help. I tried a councilor, but she wasn’t a MD or medical licensed person. All she said she could do for me is listen. I need so much more than that. I finally have an appointment with my family doctor this upcoming Friday, to see if I can get things rolling on being prescribed mood stabilizers or something. But I’ve started there before so many times and I just can’t seem to get the help I need or even get diagnosed. Everything is hard. I don’t want to lose my job. I want to work and save money. I’m so sad.
I just want to be a better person. I want to be better. I want help. I’m so embarrassing. I want to love myself again.

Step one: work for a horrible school
Step two: suffer through an incredibly awful year
Step three: find a new job, put in your notice, and wait
Step four (optional): upon leaving schedule an exit interview to tell your superintendent all the things that lead to your departure.
Step five: send a email to the entire staff, address it to your principal, state that you chose to address him publicly because he’d share it anyways so really you did him a favor. In this email refrain from using vulgar language and name calling. Instead, write your story. The story about how you were so excited to be a teacher and this school year. The story about how one man and his cronies just destroyed your mental health.
Step five: receive an email from his side that reads as follows:
“How discourteous, nasty, unprofessional, unethical, unprincipled, and downright inappropriate it is to send such an email on a professional platform. If this is the best that the district has to offer, then I am appalled. You never wanted what was best for everybody (just yourself, thanks for confirmation. These are the things that you're allowed to do when you're in the "Sup't Club!" Good luck in all your future endeavors.

BlackExcellence

CancelCulture

NotaClubMember

BFY

Toodaloo”

And laugh because you clearly hit a nerve and she had the audacity to go send this to the entire school.
Step six: the superintendent will send an email the following day that tells staff that this behavior is unacceptable and that all emails are subject to the Freedom of Information Act
Step seven: middle finger