Ge french door refrigerator black

In advanced, I know absolutely nothing about this sorta stuff so if my question is stupid I apologize. Last night I was using my PS5 when an incredibly loud lightening strike occurred. My monitor went black and then turned back on moments later. When this happened, I noticed a moderately large spark come from somewhere near my PS5. Everything in the apartment works fine electronically, and the WiFi connection went back up after a short time. However, the LAN connection from my apartments modem or router (idk what it is, white box near my door up on the wall) to my PS5 no longer works. When I attempt to connect to the LAN network, the console states there is no LAN cable connected. I’m wondering if this is a problem with the internet device on the wall, the cable, or the PS5. Any advice you can give is much appreciated. Thanks!

13th of May, 2070
White House, Washington DC
It has been a week since the attack and president Arthur McShane is still trying to wrap his head around it. He had been elected a year ago at the age of forty-one and never expected something like this. How could he? Sure, threats existed. There is still unrest within the world and the remnants of True salvation are yet to be caught. But a portal opening to a different dimension and things only found in fantasy books coming out of them and attacking? Never in a million years.
Extradimensional threats weren't something they considered facing, but they had no choice. Right now, Arthur was in a meeting room with the secretary of defense, John O'Brian, CIA special agents Amanda Collins and Allan Kurk, and several other personnel. Amanda has prepared a presentation of everything they had learned so far.
"Before we begin.", Arthur said, "I need to know. How many have we lost?"
"Mister President we are still counting the cost.", John said, "We will know for sure-"
"Don't sugarcoat it, John. I need to know, give me an estimate."
Letting out a sigh, John replied, "There was a game in progress. And the streets were busy. We estimate the death toll to be in the thousands. California has suffered less, but an unknown amount of people have been taken captive."
"So now we have people on the other side. God knows what's happening out there. The whole world has seen what happened here. They're scared and they look to us for an answer. I got a call from the Russian president Dmitri Vukov that I should just destroy the portal. I wish I knew how. How do you propose we fix this?"
"I... I don't know, sir."
Arthur rubbed his eyes and let out a tiring sigh, "Well tell me something useful then."
To that, Amanda stood up, "Mister President, in the past seven days we have gathered a substantial amount of information regarding the rift, as the elves call it."
"Woah woah, slow down. Rift? Elves?"
"Yes, sir.", she turned the large screen on, showing the portal, "They call it the rift, a sort of portal which connects our worlds. And this is them.", the screen changes to several photos of blue-skinned people, "They call themselves the High Elves from the Empire of Light. In appearance, they are humanoid with a few distinct features such as light-blue skin and pointy ears. Apparently, they rule the world on the other side and subjugate all who oppose them."
"So why did they attack us?", asked John.
"We are still trying to figure that out.", Amanda changes the photos and shows the various other races.
"Jesus Christ, what the hell is this?", Arthur asked.
"Apart from the elves, the second largest force in their army is the dwarves. Traditionally, they are short, bulky and these have Napoleonic era weaponry, muskets, and cannons."
"I've heard reports that some members of the police force have been captured along with their weapons.", Arthur said.
"I wouldn't worry about that Mister President.", John said, "Them having muskets proves that they don't possess the technology to produce automatic firearms, which also means they don't have the tools to recreate ours."
"I guess that's reassuring.", Arthur said, "Continue Amanda."
"The third force is people who call themselves the Rosians. They are the closest natives we have to humans on the other side. Apart from their pink skin, they look nearly identical to us. They are vassals of the Empire and are forced to fight for them."
"We might be able to use that.", said John.
"Yes well, they aren't the only ones forced to fight. The other intelligent forms of life are Lepians, rabbit people, Feelians, cat people, Leonoids, lion people, and Welfen, wolf people. They were enslaved by the elves and have been forced to do menial labor and fight for them ever since. I suggest we turn them to our side first. But we won't be able to get these things on our side.". The screen flashed again and photos of grotesque creatures appeared.
"Fucking hell.", Arthur said.
"Indeed. These are known as the ferals. Very aggressive and animalistic creatures were bred by the elves and sent into battle as cannon fodder. The green ones are the orcs, the pig-looking ones are the swine and the bigger and uglier ones are the ogres and trolls. My advice is to shoot first and ask questions never. There's no peace or sense with these things."
"Noted.", Arthur said, "What of their governmental structure?"
"All of them function in an aristocratic way, the difference being that the Rosians and dwarves have kingdoms with kings while the elves function like an empire with an emperor. The current emperor is Canus Marius Agorix, the thirteenth emperor. He has full control over the entire empire and is worshiped by his subjects and soldiers like a deity. Still, there is the imperial senate with one hundred senators who can influence his decision"
"Unsurprising.", John said,
"Right. We don't have much information at the moment. Most of what we already know has been given to us by prince Bodin Zorgen of the kingdom of Alston."
"You have him?", Arthur asked.
"Yes.", Allan said, "We are keeping him in an undisclosed prison. We started interrogating him yesterday and after a single electric shock, he sang like a bee. Turns out the Rosians hate the elves, especially him."
"Care to elaborate?", Arthur asked.
"Twenty-five cycles, which is twenty-five years in their world, the Rosian kingdoms and duchies organized a full-scale revolt against the elven empire. For about three years they've been doing well, but eventually, they got beaten and beaten badly. The empire took more of their land, introduced higher taxes, and killed the kings and dukes that rebelled. The king of Alston was his grandfather and while he wasn't there he heard the story from his father and now holds a grudge against the elves."
"So why does he fight for them?", John asked.
"He said that disobeying a direct imperial order is instant death and he couldn't allow more harm to come to his home and family. Quite admirable if you ask me."
"Yes. So how did he fight?"
"The vassal Rosians gave twenty thousand men to the empire's united invasion force and he volunteered to lead them along with the Iaw, son of the duke of Zirith and a captain of the Opherin army. Law is dead and the captain escaped with a dozen captives. Still, Bodin claims he never wanted to attack us and tried his best not to kill any innocent people."
"This proves your point, John.", Arthur said, "Our enemy's ally can be our ally."
"Seems like the empire isn't as united as they claim.", John said, "What about the elves?"
"We've interrogated several.", Allen said, "One of their captains, a guy named Zorgin, but with an, 'I', was a tough nut to crack. But the rest screamed like babies after we removed a fingernail or two."
"What did you find out?", Arthur asked.
"Well, you're not gonna like it. Turns out this Empire holds more than half of their continent of North Altia."
"Are there any other continents?", Arthur asked.
"Yes, South Altia and Kaplios, but the details are unknown. North Altia is their place of origin and it's where their capital Elyana is located. The place they attacked us from is in the southeast near the border with Alston on the Galdush fields."
"What is the status of their army?", John asked.
"Their army functions similarly to how an ancient army would, mostly resembling Ancient Rome.", Amanda said, "Their army numbers a total of one million split into twenty armies of fifty thousand, each controlled by a general."
This came as a surprise. "That's a lot of people."
"It is. This isn't counting the auxiliary and the vassal kingdoms. Their numbers are unknown but seeing how strict the empire is and how much they control it is likely they have nowhere near the numbers to rival the elves, even combined."
"And their navy?", Arthur asked.
"Their navy numbers in one thousand ships of various sizes. Much like the army, it's split into ten fleets each operated by an admiral."
"I'm surprised they just told you everything. Even with torture, this is their military information."
"They don't seem to mind.", Allen said, "They say that we've only faced a fraction of their full power and soon the full might of the empire will be thrown at us. I swear, their horse is so high it might as well be a giraffe."
The people in the room chuckled at that. Clearly, these people have quite a massive superiority complex.
"How many have they sent in the invasion?", John asked.
"On the ground?", Allen replied, "About a hundred thousand. Half of those were the elf's fourth army led by general Ylindar Glynra, who is confirmed dead. By sea, they sent their seventh fleet under admiral Lothar Tanros, who is also dead. But their officers proved more than enough to learn about their structure. All in all, we destroyed five percent of all their ground forces and a tenth of their navy in one day. Something I doubt they've seen before."
"If these people are as full of themselves as you say they are then they will be back.", Arthur said, "And we have to prepare."
"Already on it Mister President.", John said, "The coast guard is patrolling the rift in the sea and the National Guard has a perimeter around the rift in Lumberton. Nothing will get in or out without us knowing."
"And the other side?"
"We've sent drones to scout the area. The air is breathable and the composition of the soil is identical to ours. No enemies have been spotted yet. There could be an enemy encampment hidden within in the vicinity but we don't know."
"So they assumed that the invasion would be a success. We'll have to act quickly before they realize otherwise. Get in touch with the army forces in and near North Carolina as well as the navy on the west coast. I want an expedition force ready as soon as possible."
"Yes, Mister President. But you should focus on-"
"I know John, I know. Addressing the nation. This is a real pain."
---
The next day
Undisclosed location
Bodin's time in the human prison wasn't bad. The bed was comfortable, the food was nice and he wasn't tortured. All he had to do was answer questions and no harm would come to him or his surviving soldiers. He was glad that at least a part of his army had survived. From what the prison keeper, or warden as he called himself, all Rosians are receiving better treatment than the elves as they chose to cooperate rather than insult. Good. Those bastards deserve that and more. If those find out that Bodin was giving information to the humans, he would be branded a traitor and killed. But it's worth it in his mind if it meant the end of the empire.
Right now he was praying to the spirits. He had heard that spirit magic doesn't work in this world but it was all he could do. Perhaps his prayers could somehow reach his world through the rift.
"Vita. Heavenly spirit of life. Grant me the strength in my heart to live on in your name, so that I may prevent the death of my people. Morto. Heavenly spirit of death. Bring destruction to my enemies, my true enemies. Pofectia. Spirit of joy. Grant me peace of mind so my heart stays true to my path and doesn't falter to fear. Negatis. Spirit of rage and hatred. Grant me the strength of a burning storm so that I may deliver punishment to those of cold hearts. Elendi. Spirit of the earth, water, and air. Watch over my people, my family, and my kingdom. Do not let them suffer a faith undeserving."
With that, he got up to his feet and as soon as he did, three knocks came from the door behind him. "Prince.", spoke the person on the other side, "It's time. You know the drill."
"I am unsure what a drill has to do with this.", Bodin said, "But I do know what to do."
The man on the other side opened two small windows in the door and Bodin let his hands out one. As the man chained his wrists and ankles he chuckled, "I'll have to teach you some slang later.". He opened the door and two guards in black armor led Bodin through the halls.
Bodin walked through these halls twice before, but they amazed them every time. They were pearl white and pristine. The prison was like a maze of identical hallways and walls. It was a miracle these people knew where to go. Clearly, this nation had builders of great magnitude. All the more reason why the invasion was a bad idea. After some time they reached a familiar door. Bodin entered and saw his interrogator, Charles Polanski. He said he was from an organization called the Central Intelligence Agency or CIA for short. The way he explained it sounded much like the Inquisition of the empire.
"Ah, prince Bodin.", Charles said, "Please take a seat. I apologize for the chains but rules are rules."
"I understand Sir Polanski. No need for apologies."
"I told you, I'm an agent, not a sir."
"Right. Forgive me."
"No worries. You've been of great help to us, prince. We appreciate that. But today is a very special and important day."
"How so, agent?"
"Because today our president is deciding what we are going to do about this rift problem."
Bodin's heart stopped for a second. This was it. This was the day the leader of the humans will decide the fate of North Altia and possibly the rest of the world.
"You do remember what a president is?", Charles asked.
"Yes. He is like your king, but he does not have full power and his decisions are put to a vote."
Charles chuckled, "Pretty good. You're a fast learner."
Bodin smiled at that, "That is what my father says as well. In truth, your world is fascinating. I wish things were not the way they are."
"We all do. You wanna watch the speech?"
At this Bodin was stunned. "H-How?"
"Do you see that thing behind me?", Charles asked pointing at the mirror behind him.
"Yes. It is reflective glass. Where I come from it is rare and expensive, but it doesn't appear to be here."
"Good. This glass also doubles as a television screen. In short, that's a machine we use to watch what happens in the world. So no matter how far away something is we can always use this to see it. Think of it as a mirror to our world."
Bodin could just stare in awe. How could such a thing exist? It must be magic. But magic doesn't exist here, so how?
"I won't go into details.", Charles said as he got up and moved his chair out of the way, "Just know we can use it to watch the speech. It's about to start.". The glass changed colors and Bodin saw people moving.
"This is Frank Jensen reporting live from Washington DC.", spoke the man in the screen glass, "Today is the day President Arthur Cole will address the nation about the incident in Lumberton and San Diego. People wonder what the president will say. Some speculate that he will declare all-out war while others hope for potential peace. In any case, we will get our answer soon enough."
Soon after a man dressed in what Bodin assumed was the noble attire of this world stepped on a podium. His stance told Bodin everything. This was their leader.
"My fellow Americans.", he spoke, immediately grabbing everyone's attention, "On May 5th of this year, a tragedy struck our nation. We have prepared ourselves against every threat, domestic and abroad, but could have never prepared for this. An enemy that does not exist in our world, but in another one, appeared in the heart of our country. They opened a gateway and struck without warning, unprovoked. They sent their soldiers and monsters and immediately started slaughtering our people all in the name of their so-called light. They call themselves the High Elves and say that they fight for their empire. They declared us savages and swore to snuff us out of existence. But the American people will not fall so easily! Even though they were late, the police forces alongside the national and coast guard drove the enemy back and prevented them from causing further destruction. But the damage has already been done and our nation has been scarred. However, we will not keel over and wait for their next assault. Instead, we will bring the fight to them. Our forces will lead an expedition and we will introduce ourselves to this empire. This act of aggression shall not go unanswered!"
The people cheered and roared in approval, as to be expected. They want justice for their people. A part of Bodin was happy, the elves will finally get what they deserve. But on the other hand, what will this mean for his people and for the other vassals? He could only hope the humans will be merciful.
"There you have it.", said Charles, "We're going to war."
"While I find all of this very impressive, I do have some advice."
"And what would that be?"
"Do not seek peace with the elves. They opened these rifts because they claim they saw a vision of their world being destroyed by your hands."
"I see. I'll let my superiors know. But as for today's topic, nations. You saw our president, the leading figure of the United States of America. That is our nation."
This revelation shocked Bodin, "You mean your world is called America, and all the nations are united?"
Charles laughed at that, "No no no. Let me show you.".The screen turned into a map of the world, "You see this. This is the United States. We are a constitutional republic made up of fifty states. But there are many more nations out there. In total, the population of our world is slightly above seven billion."
Just when Bodin thought he heard everything, this came through his ears. A world of seven billion people? And the empire went to war against it?
"Now, the United States is one of the three superpowers along with Russia and China, the two of the largest countries. Honestly, you should consider yourself lucky the rifts opened here and not there. Cause if they did you probably wouldn't be alive right now.", Charles laughed a little bit and Bodin let out a nervous chuckle, "Now. There are two large blocks in this world. The North Atlantic Treaty Organization, or NATO for short, are the blue countries, and the red ones are the Eastern Powers Alliance or EPA. We are all united however in the United Nations where we decide global destinies."
"So, will NATO attack the empire then?"
"Not yet. First, we'll assess the situation for ourselves and then decide."
"I just told you! You cannot blindly go in and seek peace! They consider you as their greatest enemy!". A guard pulled him back to his chair and Charles gestured for him to back off. "I... I apologize."
"It's fine. But this is how we do things. The reason I'm not worried is that this already happened."
"It... It did?"
"Yes. One hundred and twenty-eight years ago, a nation attacked us without warning just like you did. They struck fast and hard. We lost much that day. But then they left without attacking further, thinking we would just keel over. And do you know what we did in response?"
Bodin was scared to ask, but did anyway, "What did you do?"
The screen changed again. It showed a large city with many great towers. The weather was clear and the land was peaceful. But then something dropped from the air. Some kind of large egg. And as soon as this egg hit the ground, the whole city was engulfed in a ring of fire. The towers crumbled, the people died by the thousands and afterward all that was left was a crater in the ground and a cloud in the shape of a mushroom in the sky.
Bodin shuddered to imagine something like that happening to his home city. Everyone and everything would die instantly. "W-What was that?", he asked shakily.
"That was an atomic bomb capable of destroying an entire city with everything and everyone in it. Now, do you see why we seek peace? We don't want to use this weapon, but we will if we have to. Now, let's talk more about your nations."
---
Meanwhile
DARPA research facility, Richmond, Virginia
Doctor Penelope Connors, research log 1, designation: North Altian biology. Specimens have been designated under the letter R. Begin.
Specimen R-01:High Elf. Humanoid in appearance with several distinct features. Skin color light blue, ears pointy, and hair blond or silver across all specimens. Silver hair appears to be a sign of seniority. The internal structure is remarkably similar. The heart is in the center of the chest as opposed to the left side, the liver is smaller. Blood cells are in a shade of cobalt blue. No sign of enhanced muscular or skin density. Threat level normal unless in higher numbers or in close combat. Magic is an unknown factor.
Specimen R-02:Rosian. Very much resembles a human. The only distinct feature is the pink skin. Threat level same as High Elf.
Specimen R-03:Dwarf. Body height is shorter than that of a human, an average of five feet, but has a more stocky structure. Bone and skin density is higher than a human's. Able to use Napoleonic-era weaponry. Threat level normal to high. Direct positioning should be avoided due to more advanced weapons.
Specimen R-04:Lepian. Appearance humanoid with distinct animal features of rabbits such as long ears on the top of the head, visibly different legs with denser musculature, and a tail. Hearing and running speeds are likely higher than a human's. No males were found suggesting a female-dominated group. A possible threat if not watched out for.
Specimen R-05:Feelian. Appearance humanoid with distinct animal features of cats such as cat-like ears, whiskers next to the nose, a tail, retractable claws, and cat-like eyes. Hearing, smell, and speed are likely higher than a human's. No males were found suggesting a female-dominated group. A possible threat if not watched out for.
Specimen R-06:Leanoid. Appearance humanoid with distinct animal features of lions. No females were found and a great resemblance to Feelians suggests a symbiotic relationship. Muscular density, jaw strength, reflexes, hearing, and smell are higher than a human's. A large threat in close quarters.
Specimen R-07:Welfen. Appearance humanoid with distinct animal features of wolves. Muscular density, jaw strength, reflexes, hearing, and smell are higher than a human's. A large threat in close quarters.
Specimen R-08:Ferral orc. Appearance humanoid with several distinct features. A larger frame and higher muscular and bone density, pointy ears, and green skin. Ironically more animalistic than the animal-like people with a basic level of intelligence and aggressive nature. Higher skin density requires the use of 6.8mm. A large threat in close quarters.
Specimen R-09:Swine. Appearance humanoid with distinct animal features of pigs. Height between a human and a dwarf. Feral level intelligence. A threat in close quarters.
Specimen R-10:Ogre. Appearance humanoid. A much larger frame than a human's. Feral level intelligence. Strong enough to knock over cars. Higher skin density requires the use of a larger caliber. Soldiers should be advised to aim for weak spots such as the head, chest, and joints.
Specimen R-11:Troll. Appearance humanoid. Larger frame than an ogre and greater strength with lesser speed and maneuverability. Feral level intelligence. Higher skin and muscle density require the use of larger caliber weapons and explosives. Soldiers should be advised to aim for weak spots such as the head, chest, and joints.
Specimen R-12:Wyvern. Appearance dragon-like. Measures between nine and fifteen meters in length from head to tail. Bones are hollow and have only two legs, much like birds. Teeth are sharp enough to pierce aluminum. Scales strong enough to reflect anything short of a fifty caliber, which also might not damage the denser part of the body. Soldiers were advised to carry anti-air weaponry.
Further research is required upon reaching the other side of the rift.
End of chapter 4
---
First / Previous / Next
Thank you very much for reading.
If you'd like to support me feel free to upvote, follow, and check out my Patreon where you'll get access to my Discord server, early releases, future exclusive chapters, and a chance to commission work from me: patreon.com/SimpleWrites

Hi there
I have recently had two mescaline experiences separated by two weeks, with very different effects / experiences and post trip effects. These are my first experiences with any psychedelic drugs and my first experience with any drugs other than some weed gummies in canada a few years ago (and of course alcohol, my nemesis).
The first trip I had the top half of my cactus (slightly less than an arms length) which tapered towards the top i.e. maybe as thick as my wrist at the top and thicker at the base. I made a tea using a method described online with about four hours of boiling. Dosing was done by drinking half at 9AM, 1/4 at 930, and 1/4 at 1030
During the trip I felt at 30 minutes a perception shift (I stood outside my house and suddenly noticed an over-perception of birds flying out of nearby trees and an intense focus on them), and a steadily building body high from about the 30-45 minute mark. This continued until about 2 hours when I started having sort of clairvoyant questions and answers (I had gone into the trip intending to try and heal / change my mind about certains quitting alcohol, why do I drink, changing habits, and some other things). From the 2 hour mark I started having alot of intense clairvoyant insight; I recorded myself extensively during this period and was able to write many things down (albeit often in very large writing - body high made it hard to write).
I had alot of insights about alcohol, why I drink, how to stop, habits, some personal aspects of my past (death in the family) and various other things. The answers seemed to me to be coming from 'the cactus' but I suppose they came from different parts of my mind. This period was also intermittent with laying on the grass outside - I had an intense urge to lay on the grass in the sun. I had prepared an area outside with a blanket on the ground and pillows because I had heard this might happen; it turned out to be quite hot (trip started at 9am and it was around 11 when I wanted to lay down). Anyway I went back and forth between the blanket and inside every 15-20 minutes. Hallucinogenic effects seemed to be relatively mild during this period - some multiple imagery of objects in my house and kaleidoscoping of birds (not sure how to describe it - sort of like being hyper-able to see and hear birds in slow motion but also see them at 3 different places at once as they flew across the sky).
From around the 4 hour mark I was overcome by an intense urge to lay in the grass and be in the sun - going as far as taking the blanket away so I could touch the grass. This was the most intense portion of the trip and lasted about 2 hours. I felt myself melting away into the grass and hte urge to ask questions went away. I felt an intense connection to mother earth and felt that all things are connected - people, places, mother earth. I felt myself zooming out of my home in New Zealand to the world and seeing the connections on my street, town, and the world. I also seemed to come up with the words earth mother, sky mother, and volcano mother (I live on a volcano). The body high was less but i felt and intense feeling of love and connection. At this stage I also felt that my brother (deceased) was with me and that because he is part of the earth and sky and I am part of the earth and sky that we are all still connected and he is gone but still here (this point will become important when I describe the second trip). After the peak I came inside best described as goopy, but still with an intense urge to lay down.
Spent alot of time laying down on a long, gradual comedown, still feeling mild hallucinogenic effects and happiness. There was at this stage the first ' sad ' parts of the trip - some crying about my brother and being alone which lasted maybe 10-15 minutes. This was followed by the only 'dark' part of the trip. I had read some flight instructions about essentially facing fear / leaning into it rather than turning away. I saw a demonic, metallic face with my eyes closed - red lights in the shape of the face, and I could read the emotion of the face although it didn't seem to have a face. It alternated between threatening me and threatening people I care about. When it threatened me I did nothing, turned away, did not react, but when it threatened others, I started getting angry and wanting to fight it. As it alternated back and forth it started threatening people I cared about more and more, until eventually it threatened my five year old niece and in my rage I felt myself reaching into the volcano beneath me and sucking the lava out and pouring it into the demon face until it dissolved. I then had the thought that the cactus was trying to show me the difference between how I reacted when it threatened me and how I reacted when it threatened others. The demon face returned, and this time when it threatened me I started it down and told it to leave; it again alternated to threatening my neice; and as I felt the rage building within me again the face developed a look of fear and dissolved. I recorded myself after this saying that I thought it was trying to show me that I don't defend myself or stand up for myself because as a kid I couldn't, but now I can - as demonstrated by the fact that I defeated the demon when it threatened my neice.
The trip gradually faded and around 6pm I started feeling the effects were really wearing off although sunset (around 7:30) was still supersaturated and beautiful. I was finally able to sleep around 9.
The next day I woke up at 6am - one of the things I had asked in my q&a period - and went for a run; something I have been trying to do for a decade with no success (get up and exercise). I then went about my day quite productively. In the evening I went to the store (I habitually drink around 1L of 7% beer a day) but felt no urge to drink; instead I felt drawn to some mandarin oranges. For the next two weeks more or less this carried on (I drank socially at work a few times but that's it) along with an elevated mood and morning running.
​
Trip number 2 was 2 weeks after the first one (on this past saturday). This time there were some differences in the cactus that are important; the bottom half of the cactus was much thicker, and the full length of my arm rather than just short. It had also been stressed longer (two weeks inside my house mostly in the dark, followed by a few days in the fridge). I also brewed the cactus longer - about 8 hours this time, and made a slight change to the brewing process - the first time I just drained the cactus cuttings to get the water, this time i also put the cuttings of the cactus in a shirt and squeezed all the liquid out.
I have lots of questions again - about 20 of them that I've written down over the past weeks; the most important ones are that I want to be healed and I want to change my habits (there are lots more).
I started earlier, at 6:30 AM. Dosing was done as 3/8ths at 630AM, 3/8s at 7AM, and 2/8ths at 7:15AM (faster dosing than the first time). Felt alot queasier than the first time but not vomming.
Effects came on significantly faster. 10 minutes after the first 3/8ths, I felt a tingling sensation in my legs that was quite significant. I figured this one was alot stronger. By the time I took the second 3/8ths the body high was kicking in massively and a perceptual shift at started - again the hyper-perception of the birds including noticing birds flying out of trees several houses down and suddenly being aware of the noise of and being able to see the birds in the trees in my yard.
Around 7:45 the hallucinogenic effects seemed to start - I wrote and talked in the records about additional colour in the clouds, a hyper-white colour of the clouds, deeper blue around the clouds, clouds appearing purple. I wrote at this time that I felt that the gates were opening.
Around 8:30 I started wanting to lay in the grass outside, it wanted me to lay on the grass, even though the grass was wet from overnight rain and it was cold outside. I put on sweatpants / hoodie and a coat and layed under a blanket (seriously it was cold). Hallucinogenic effects at this stage included seeing shifting patterns in the cloud, faces in the clouds, deeper colours, hyper-perception of the dew on the grass. In all the time after this I am mostly laying on the grass ( on the grass predominantly until 6-7pm except when coming inside to pee / drink water / make my recordings and notes every half hour to hour or soish)
I read my second list of questions but I didn't feel the same clairvoyant question and answer effect that I did. Instead, what I got seemed to be Gaia saying hush boy, you don't always get answers. Lay down and let me show you.
I also wrote 'the meaning of life - just be' in gigantic letters on my notebook at this stage.
Around 9: starting seeing colour between and around the clouds (eg. purple lines around the clouds), cat faces in the clouds; a lion face far away in the clouds; and then the clouds dissolved into fractal pattern of fluffy white kitties (in the audio recording I describe them as being like doctor evils cat before it got shaved). I could also hear a cat meowing a few doors down (alot of outdoor cats on my street). Still a massive body high. Also noticing extra texture to everything.
Shortly after at 9:10 - numbers started appearing inside out and backwards. Birds again - seeing the wings flapping in slow motion and also hearing the sound of the flapping and seeing the birds in multiple places as they flew across the sky.
Around 10AM: Smaller-bigger hallucinogenic effects; my hands started feeling tiny and then larger and my arms stretching. When watching my face in the selfie video it seemed to be curving and distorting. Kitties in the clouds still; started feeling that the earth was spinning the opposite way as normal and that it was because the kitties in the clouds were using the earth as a ball to play with / paw at. At some point the clouds dissolved into a triangular fractal pattern.
Wrote down: She (earth mother or gaia or the cactus?) telling me to Let it be, don't have to aks questions all the time. The purpose of life is to just be and to just play. It was showing me.
​
10:30 - laying outside listening to the beatles instrumental (no singing); clouds started dancing intenstly to the beetles. In the audio and recordings I start losing what the concept of time means. Laughing and extremely happy. Feel that she is showing me to just play and have a good time. In the videos I am struggling intensly to keep my head up; I can only hold my head up for 3-4 seconds at a time then down for 10 seconds - in the video I'm mostly face planting trying to pull my head back up to talk. A
Went back outside. AT the time it felt like I was outside for eternity between 10:30 and the recording at 11:30 although I guess it was an hour.
I went back outside and I recall laying there asking my brother to walk with me, walk with me, walk with. Be with me. Over and over. He answered back 'how can I walk with you, you are laying in the grass.'.Laying in the grass I had closed my eyes and saw blacker than black, and around hte edges of the black were lines surrounded by pearly black balls flowing away - it was me, I was dissolving and disintegrating.
11:30 - in the video I made at 11:30 I immediately say that i have just had the greatest experience of my entire life. I am smiling. I was back in Canada after my brother died and in Europe when I found out my brother died, but also in Europe before i found out my brother died (the morning I found out he died but before I found at I recall feeling a presence in my room watching me even though it was just me in the room, and the night before I had become fixated on a huge raven that seemed to be following me) - I experienced being the raven and being the presence in the room. But I was also in New Zealand laying on the grass in my yard. But I was also in Canada. But time and space meant nothing but I was in the past and the present...and I was time. And I was the earth. And I was with my brother but I was also my brother, and I was my father, and I felt myself merge into everyone. I recall a zooming in and out scene from the sky where I zoomed in close up on my laying on the grass (out of body) then higher up, then higher up and further away still. I felt an overwhelming sense of love and unity; I can only describe it like everything in my mind and the world being pressed into a ball that was one interconnected thing. At the depth of the experience there was a metallic voice repeating in a wave-like fashion (something to do with our brain waves I guess?) "He's gone but he's still here he's gone but he's still here he's gone but he's still here he's gone but he's still here". As I came out of I heard, he walks with you. You walk together.
After this I had 2-3 more hours of laying outside watching the clouds, hallucinogenic effects - colours etc. I listened to music alot and I saw the music with my eyes closed dancing as colours and at times I could taste the music or taste things like flowers (and also hear them?). Sound also seemed to be 4-dimensional as did images on the computer. I have a boom 3 speaker and when it played I felt like I was being teleported and streteched - as if I was standing beside the speaker across the room but also sitting in my chair. Images on the computer also seemed to be four dimensional, or maybe just 3d out of 2d (basically, I could percieve and see the 3d distance between the layers in the images even though it's 2d - had the same effect looking at the clouds with clouds at different elevations. Like I was looking at the image from below but also I was up in the sky looking at it from the side at the same time).
Around 2-3 in the afternoon it seemed to be wearing off a bit and as before the trip started taking a bit sadder turn. The faces in the clouds stopping being cats and started being different not so nice faces - two-faced faces (happy / sad, or evil / nice), skull faces, the occasional demon, mean witch looking old ladies. I stared them all down and said I wasn't afraid of them and one by one they would go away. In between mean faces there were still some nice ones - a lion that had a four-dimensional mouth with a 3d box inside covered in insideout and backwards numbers and symbols. A long white cloud that became a huge fish eating plankton. Lots of fun effects with the music (dancing colorful closed eye visuals).
The comedown was (and still is) looong. Around 6 the closed eye visuals turned 'grey' for a period. Like, instead of seeing closed eye visuals or normal eye-closed, with my eyes shut everything was just solid grey.
Later in the evening after sunset (around 7-8) it still hadn't fully worn off, and I started getting nervous - it had been over 14 hours. Laying indoors the yellow light I had placed across the room and the heat pump started seeming demonic, like hell. The 1975 live at maddison square garden music video I had watched many times (I'm in love with you) instead of seeming 4d and happy, the singer started seeming like satan and the yellow like hell. I turned it off. I stared down the yellow light. Laying on my futon I started to hear a noise beside the bed where there was no sound source...the sound of the void, sucking in. Like sound hollow inside out sucking into an infinitely deep hole. In the video I say tha there are hands coming out of it. I reach out and hold them. I don't like it. Eventually I decide that the solution is to stuff the fluffy cloud kitties into the hole and let it close. I say I'm not afraid of it. Eventually it closes. At some point after this I lay outside on the deck under the stars - there are still effects. Some of the stars seem to supernova and then come back, others flick in and out. Orion and orions belt stretches and eventually shifts so that it seems to be pointing at something (milky way?). The stars also spread out in a way that they don't normally and I can see all kinds of random and new connections between the stars. Not sure how to describe it.
Later I am in bed. Still, she wont let me go. I feel mildly anxious and energetic and am not able to sleep until 1am. Right up until I fall asleep I am still getting mild effects when looking at my phone screen - the green light in the top right corner getting bigger and other effects, and mild closed eye visuals. When I wakeup, the effects don't seem to have fully worn off - in the morning I have brief closed eye visuals of a fractal pattern of cactuses.
The interesting part, and the part that I'm concerned about with the second trip, is that it's now 2 days later and I still feel a mild paranoia and maybe like mild psychosis. Not full on but I feel unusually jumpy and on edge. Other effects are the same - I feel the deep feeling of love and closure and I've also been getting up at 6am and going for runs. Will this wear off? I also still have verrry mild effects like over-perception of patterns in my coffee, or the bubble animation on my phone screen when I dial the pin in although that is fading.
An aspect of the second trip seems to have been duality (actually both trips, although the first was milder) - the two faced faces, the experience of sadness after intense happiness. I'm wondering if because the second trip seems to have been much stronger and deeper that is why the comedown has been longer.
So, that's all. Well - there's really more than this (I have 10 pages of during and post notes and drawings from each one and probably ~2 hours of audio and vide from each one).

For a few days in a row I had been very horny, but couldn’t satiate my lust. No matter how often I fucked or how many people. There was one thing I was craving. I couldn’t tell you why, but I felt this need to be groped. Not just groped by a consenting sexual partner. I wanted a stranger to violate me. I wanted to go out in public, on a busy train or something and have someone grab my ass, brush against my tits, maybe even finger my pussy. But this was easier said than done. I have been groped before on the London Underground when I was on a business trip there. But how to accomplish the same thing here in the Netherlands was beyond me.
I had been driving Suzanne insane the last few days so she suggested I take a day of work and try to get it done. I asked her how and she told me to go on trains and busses during rush hour and see if I get lucky. It was as good a suggestion as any, so I thought fuck it I’ll try it.
I took the Friday off, but still got up early to get on a train at the busiest times of the day. I wore a button up blouse without a bra, a skirt without panties and some stockings with a garter belt so I wouldn’t get to cold.
So of to the train station I went. I was a little nervous. Things like this are kind of risky. But in a battle between common sense and horniness, horniness will always win in my stupid slut brain. I got on the train to Amsterdam. That one was usually the busiest with commuters. I was right, the train was pretty busy. I stayed on the balcony near the doors, because that’s where passengers would be standing and I had the most chance of getting close to someone who might cop a feel. Although the train was busy it wasn’t exactly packed. So there was no good reason to get really close to someone. At stations people got on and off and I made sure to stand somewhat near the door on the off chance someone would touch me while trying to get passed me to the door. But alas, everyone was really considerate and polite in trying to get past me. Normally that is a good thing, but today it just frustrated me.
In Amsterdam I got off the train, because I knew most people were getting off and there was no chance of any action anymore. But Amsterdam is plenty busy, so I thought I’d try my luck in a tram or bus. I walked out the station to the trams and got on a random one that looked busy. This looked more promising. It was packed in there. I squeezed in and made sure to stand close to some guys that I thought looked promising. It was probably insensitive of me to profile them like that, but a brain flooded with horny hormones doesn’t think rationally. I drove the tram to pretty much the end point, but still nothing happened. I was getting more and more frustrated. I tried some more busses and trams, but rush hour was over by now and it was a lot less busy.
I decided to kill a few hours in Amsterdam and try my luck again later in the day in the evening rush hour. I visited a few museums, including the sex museum. That was fun, but also a mistake because it made me even more horny. I considered trying my luck in the sex museum, but there weren’t any guests that I thought were and option. It were mostly tourist couples. I also toured the RLD, hoping something might happen. But I guess everyone there assumes only the girls in the windows are approachable for sexual purposes. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t get lucky. Of course I could have tried to seduce someone, but that wasn’t what I was there for. I wanted to get groped and it had to be his or her idea, not mine.
The evening rush hour came and I got on the tram again. When I got on I saw a dude who looked like he was in his mid thirties looking at me a bit longer than a glance. So I thought maybe he’s checking me out. I made sure to stand next to him, but a little turned away so I wouldn’t see what he was doing. I hoped that would give him the idea to cop a feel. I waited and waited. When the tram was taking a turn I tried swaying into him a bit. Still nothing. When we stopped at a halt he got off. As he went passed me I felt his hand brush along my ass. It was quick and gentle, but I definitely felt a little squeeze. And then the moment was gone, he was gone and I was standing there shaking a bit from the sexual tension built up inside of me.
I got on the train home, but no more opportunities presented themselves. When I got home I was supremely frustrated. I had spent the entire day trying to get groped and all I had to show for it was a brush against my ass. I was being very snippy with Suzanne, but luckily she understood and wasn’t offended. She knows what it’s like to feel this horny and not get a release. She suggested I go to a night club and try there. When we used to go to night clubs, when we were younger, there would regularly be guys that got a little handsy. I’m in my thirties now and had assumed my clubbing days were behind me. But I thought, why not? Let’s give it a try. I put on a little black dress that was really short and where my tits were practically falling out of. I put on some knee high boots and ‘’forgot’’ to where underwear. It would be cold, but drastic times called for drastic measures. And hopefully in the club it’ll be nice and warm. Suzanne is a whiz with make-up and made me look ten years younger than I am so I wouldn’t stand out to much among the younger crowd in the club.
So, of I went. I called a taxi to take me into town. I wasn’t riding my bicycle in this outfit, and I would probably drink so taking my own car was not a good idea either. When I got to the club it was already very crowded in there. Perfect, I thought. I went in and got a drink first and scouted the place from the bar. I immediately got some male attention (I still got it, I proudly thought to myself), but I brushed him off. I’m not looking for a simple hook up tonight. I closely observed the mass of bodies moving rhythmically with the music. I spotted a dude dancing alone. It was clear he was trying to get close to girls, but he wasn’t having much luck. Every time he got close he moved in to quickly and scared the girl of. He was exactly what I was looking for. So I got on the dance floor and started dancing. I casually started to make my way to the area where he was dancing and tried to look oblivious to him. I was dancing with my back toward him and I felt him starting to dance behind me. He kind of clumsily bumped into me. I looked back and gave him a little smile and turned around again. He stayed close to me. I pretended to ignore him, but kept tabs on him out of the corner of my eyes. I could almost feel him inching closer and closer until he was right behind me and I felt his hand brush my hip. It was swift, but definitely deliberate. I continued to ignore him, but also didn’t pull away. It was clear this was a guy who had problems with boundaries and didn’t know how to approach women. Normally these are bad things in a man, but tonight for me they were perfect. I felt another hand on my hip and this time it stayed there. I pretended like I didn’t know what to do, act a little insecure so that he would feel in control. Sure enough a second hand appeared on the other hip and he got close to me. So were dancing together now, my back still turned to him. As I didn’t pull away immediately he interpreted that as consent to let his hands start to wander. They went forward and upwards. Oh my god, I thought, It’s happening. My heart was pounding and I could feel my pussy get very wet with my juices flowing down my legs. There were no panties to catch them. His hands reached my breasts and he squeezed them hard. Because the place was packed nobody really noticed, but this guy was just shamelessly grabbing my tits in the middle of this busy night club. He kept his hands there for what seemed like ages, all the while we were still dancing. It was very awkward, but thrilling at the same time. His right hand released my boob and started sliding down. He didn’t have to go down far to reach underneath my dress since it was so short. His fingers found my pussy with ease as the juices flowing guided them in. He immediately stuck a finger inside. He didn’t bother trying to find my clit. My guess he’s one of those guys who doesn’t even know where it is. He started to clumsily finger my pussy. His movements didn’t provide me any pleasure, but the thought of being violated like this did. We must have looked very awkward in our embrace, but nobody seemed to pay any attention to us. It’s weird how little people notice of what is happening right in front of them. The hand on my left boob now went to my ass. Wow, I thought, he really goes for all the cliché areas doesn’t he? He hiked up my dress a bit and cupped my bare ass. So there I was, in the middle of a busy night club with my dress practically around my waist, my ass hanging out, my pussy on display and a strange dude groping me. It was all I could have hoped for.
All of a sudden I made eye contact with another girl on the dancefloor. She had a shocked and grossed out look in her eyes. She had suddenly noticed what was happening. I started to panic and quickly jerked myself loose from my ‘’dance partner’’ and made my way to the exit avoiding eye contact with anyone.
I got outside and started to quickly walk towards the edge of the city centre where taxis were usually waiting to bring people home after a night on the town. I really hoped that girl wouldn’t cause me any problems. I heard footsteps behind me. There were plenty of other people in the streets so I didn’t feel unsafe, but I did look behind me. The dude I had been dancing with had followed me outside! I thought to myself how to handle this. Do I talk to him? Do I tell him to get lost? But I was still extremely horny, even after getting caught. And this guy clearly is too. So once again my horny brain gets a stupid idea into her head and drowns out any opposing ideas by making my pussy ache. I suddenly take a left turn into an alley. I know this alley well from my younger years for when I was to eager to fuck and didn’t want to take a guy home. I walk to the most secluded spot I know behind some dumpsters and wait for the guy. I already take my tits out and hike up my skirt to my waist. I hear his footsteps approaching. Good, he followed me! He turns the corner and stops dead in his tracks. There he sees me with my tits, ass and pussy out for him. I bring my finger to my lips to signal him to not say anything. He understands and walks up to me. He immediately grabs my tits and my pussy again and starts groping me. I moan softly. My hands go for his trousers. I undo his belt, button and zipper. I free his throbbing cock from its prison and start jacking him off. He grunts. His cock is rock hard and looks ready to blow already, but he hangs on. I fall to my knees and take his cock into my mouth and start sucking as if my life depends on it. He reaches down and continues to awkwardly squeeze my tits. I don’t care, his clumsiness somehow makes it hotter for me. After a while he pulls me up and spins me around. He pushes me forward against the wall and slams his cock into me. He starts to thrust like a jackhammer while squeezing my ass. He lasts no more than a minute and unloads his hot sperm into my pussy. He was pretty pent up, because it’s a big load. When he pulls out a big stream of cum comes with it. I kneel down and clean his cock with my mouth, sucking out the last bits of cum.
I get up and straighten myself out. My tits go back into my dress, and I pull the skirt down over my ass again. He tries to speak, but I put a finger on his lips and shake my head. I give him a little kiss on the cheek for goodbye and leave. I get into a taxi and go home to tell Suzanne all about what happened. It felt great to have this particular itch scratched.
Kisses where you want them…

Every summer until I turned 19 years old I was visiting my grandfather at my home village for a few weeks along with my father. It is a small village built on a mountain slope.
Once( I was 16 at that time) my best friend came with as there and he stayed at our house.
As it's part of the story here's the layout of the house. When you get in, on your left is the dinning table and next to it the living room and then there's a balcony. Facing to the door is a small corridor. Facing to the door is the kitchen door, at the right of the corridor is my grandfather's bedroom and at the left it's the bathroom and on its right is the other bedroom which has two beds on its two sides.
So me and my friend were sleeping at the room with the two beds. One night I saw a very creepy dream. I saw that I woke up and then my friend(who was a smoker) got up and left the room. As soon as I lost him from my sight I saw tall floating figure who was wearing a black cloak with the hood on ( so I couldn't see its face) following him. So I immediately got up to go and warn him, but when I tried to get out of the door it was as there was an invisible wall and I couldn't get out. As I saw the creature reaching him from behind I tried to shout to him but I couldn't talk either. So I just watched it get him while I tried to warn him. Every time it got him I saw that I woke up and then it started all again. I kept seeing this for many times over and over that night.
What could it mean?

Now, I am not looking for pity. As I am an adult who's had many wonderful and horrible experiences. I have pushed myself through my insecurities without medication. I have been to therapy and rehabs for depression. But I personally feel like I am far past that stage of my life. I do not however, think that I am past dealing with the consequences of my long bout of depression.
I don't want to blame my parents for anything that they did not do or for anything that's wrong in my life. While both of them are perfectly normal, hardworking, non-alcoholic/non-drug addicted citizens I really feel like they should never have had me as a child. I am in my mid-twenties and while I have had really bad luck getting jobs, I am very intelligent, and well above average when it comes to technology and intrapersonal skills and have a flourishing social life. I have gotten state recognized certs, have no tattoos, criminal history, or any reason to be considered "unemployable". A major issue with my parents, is my dependence and lack of financial accomplishment at my age. I agree and validate their statements. But I must emphasize that, while this is a huge issue, money isn't everything and I still believe that we could be cordial and respectful towards one another.
But as time goes on, I lot of the issues I've faced with my parents do not have to do with money and more so has to do with how they treat me. My Mother is super nice at times. But then, disproportionately awful to me other times.
I'll give some examples: I was so dehydrated from food poisoning at 15, I couldn't rehydrate orally, according to the doctor. I couldn't even hold down water for 36 hours. She refused to take me to the hospital. Luckily my father did. But I blacked out and fell over from the severe case of food poisoning that caused volume level depleted dehydration. This happened again when I had an allergic reaction to a new medication and fainted. She justifies this lack of maternal instinct by saying, "Well we would have 104-degree fevers and my parents would never take me to the hospital". Which is an absolutely idiotic way to go about your son fainting and needing medical attention.
She got physical after having an alcoholic and emotionally abusive boyfriend when I was 15. She started by throwing my items. She would follow me out of the house to continue fights. She would play the victim to my father (they're divorced) and my therapist until one day she drove 12 miles to my apartment to continue a fight that I had started that evening. I have had to hold her down. I have had to physically remove her. I have not been totally innocent in the way I handled our once domestically turbulent relationship. While we are past those days. I was trying to follow my therapist's advice by ignoring her when she started escalating and asked her nicely to please go in another room to avoid further conflict. Upon ignoring her. She reached for my phone. Hit my face inadvertently and I kicked her away from me out of pure reaction and she called the police on me. Had I stayed, she would've been arrested. Not me. I was 19 at the time.
While they both have been financially supportive, and I'm very grateful for that. I am able to compartmentalize the turmoil, emotional instability, and sheer fucked-upness of some of the things they have done.
I have mainly lived with my mother. And our extended family hasn't even understood how my mom and I specifically were so estranged from one another. One time, before her niece's (my cousin's) wedding. We were arguing about the most mundane thing, about a mattress being in the garage, 10 hours back home, at breakfast, and my mom basically just wanted to make me feel like shit for no reason. I told her she had 3 options, put it in storage, get rid of it, or shut the f up about it. This may sound alarming and disrespectful, but granted, when you've dealt with this shit for 13 years, you get pretty impunitive and impatient with the opposing party. Afterall, her niece was getting married the next day and she really thought this stupid fkn mattress in her stupid fkn garage was that important to bring up? Can't I just enjoy 1 nice breakfast for x sake. It ended with me locking myself in my Aunt/Uncle's bathroom, and her banging on the door, me begging her to leave me the f alone, and me calling the police on my own mother for my own protection. The police couldn't do anything because my aunt refused to remove her from the property. My cousin blamed ME for the situation and pleaded with me to not ruin her wedding. I told her to talk to my mom. She was the problem. Not me. And I couldn't believe that I was getting blamed for this.
I have lived on my own for the past 5 years but even then, I still deal with this. I am recovering from an ankle surgery from Skateboarding and also recently got diagnosed with a subtle form of epilepsy, so I haven't been able to drive for the past several months (by law). Another excellent point, that gives my parents the professional-idiot award, is that BOTH of my parents encouraged me to IGNORE my Neurologist's advice AND the law about not driving for 6 months following my last full-seizure (where you lose consciousness). I am not perfect. I drink and party at times. But I am getting to an age, where I feel that it is important to strive to be healthy and to follow your doctor's advice more often than not. I try not to politicize what my doctors recommend (other than boosters because my covid vaccine didn't really benefit me in my opinion but may save my life in my later years).
My father and my stepmother have a whole set of issues as well. And my life has been financially easy. But it has been emotionally dysfunctional. And I truly have had to rely more on my friends for emotional fulfillment than my family. I do not seek pity. But I really needed to air this out and wanted some feedback, whether it be positive, negative, objective, or constructive.
Thanks for taking the time to read my post :)

Statement of Joseph Wright, regarding an investigation into a string of 3 killings. Original statement given January 16th 2004. Tape recording by Jonathan Sims, head archivist of the Magnus Institute. Statement Begins.

There are a lot of things they don’t tell you when you join the force. The things you’ll see. I never really believed in a hell, but if one exists I can name a few who absolutely deserve to be there. But this.. this was something like I had never seen before. I had become a detective constable shortly before the reports came in, and I was trying to learn my way around the Met. I was a rookie of sorts. No stranger to the heinous crimes humans were capable of, but woefully unprepared for what was to come. The first murder was reported in a flat on the outskirts of London, August 6th, 2003. I was called onto the case and I braced myself for the grisly scene waiting inside.. the others grew impatient and opened the door while I waited outside. The image seared into my mind as I laid my eyes upon the victim. A woman named Kaitlyn Honeywell had been murdered and strung up. Her arms hung high above her head. Almost looking like the vitruvian man. She had been disemboweled completely, and skinned. I could see the muscles and the tendons plainly. We found no evidence suggesting the identity of the killer. All we could find was that it was the home of the victim, and that there wasn’t much of a struggle. The only thing that was odd, is that it was confirmed the body had been there for several days. Yet no neighbors complained about a smell. We don’t even know who reported the murder. It was almost as if the body had been preserved somehow. I recalled that during the investigation of the crime scene there had been no smell. No rotting. That was just the first one. It left me sleepless for a while, and when I was up so late on those nights I would find myself hyper-focusing on the rhythm of my heartbeat. It was a deafening sound. Louder than the silence around me. This continued for almost a month and then we got another report on September 3rd, 2003. A similar murder, this time in the home of Rupert Hawthorne. Rupert Hawthorne was a recluse. An old man, barely even left his house. We found him mutilated in a very similar way to the previous victim, but he was spread across the kitchen table instead of being strung up. It was almost as if he was posing. I know what dead bodies smell like, and I noticed immediately this didn’t smell like a corpse at all. Just like the last victim. I couldn’t help but notice the way his muscles contorted, strained, or relaxed in response to his position. His organs had been removed, like the previous victim. Except this time they were repositioned inside his body. Rearranged in a way that almost would make sense if he were alive, yet grotesque in execution. As I was thinking this one of my colleagues snapped me out of it. Apparently I had been standing there mindlessly for 15 minutes without saying a word. I regained my mental faculties and continued working on the case as normal. We helped clean up the scene and I went home for the night. It almost felt like I was the only one shaken by the things I was seeing. These mutilated bodies bothered me yet no one else seemed to care. Another day in the office for them I guess. More sleepless nights came. I could now hear my own heartbeat over the sound of the streets of london through my flat window. I was watching a movie with some of my colleagues and I started focusing on the way the muscles ripped in the characters. I saw a man onscreen. Standard build, and black hair. He was a muscular man. I saw him walking toward a house. Looking back I remember it was the house of Rupert Hawthorne. Somehow at the time… I didn’t even question it. I just watched… He cut into Rupert with intention and precision. Killing him quickly and rearranging his body.. As I watched I began to ramble in my mind about his flesh. The way his body moves the puppeteering tendons forcing him to act. All while the sound of my heartbeat quickened in anticipation. It was when I started wondering what he would taste like, that I was shaken awake. The movie had ended and the others were leaving. Apparently I had slept through most of the movie. Needless to say I… I didn’t get any sleep that night. That was the extreme at the time, but it only got worse from there. Especially after the 3rd murder. There was a much larger gap in time from the last killing to this one. This one was just a week ago. I haven’t slept at all since. January 9th, 2004, Franklin Petrovsky was reported dead in his home. I don’t know what came over me. I don’t know why, I wanted to know so badly what he tasted like. I spent a long time looking a his scentless corpse. All that was left of him was his meat. The meat that surrounded every bit of him that surrounds all of us. The sustenance and energy contained within providing comforting life. In that moment I believed the killer was a patron of the arts. The delights of meat and flesh to be dined, and enjoyed, and sustained. Humans are cattle and meat to be harvested. To sustain the rhythm of my heartbeat and the form of my muscles. When a human starves they will even eat their own muscles to survive. We are built in our very nature to eat and be eaten, and to have that memorialized and appreciated is a mercy! Yet.. no.. this is wrong, I know this is wrong, that is why I am here to tell you this, because I need to be fixed. I never wanted to hurt anyone. Damn it my heartbeat is so loud! I can’t hear anything over it. Please fix me- 

The statement ends there as he grew violent and attempted to grab one of the researchers, pleading for help. He was escorted out of the building and police were called.
Quite a gross story, and one where luckily enough the basics can be verified. Joseph Wright was in fact a detective constable responsible for the investigation of a grisly serial killer. The bodies were all mutilated and posed. Arms and legs spread out. Martin of all people managed to actually dig up more information on Joseph. According to his colleagues, he acted very different after the investigation started. He would behave erratically, and often have fits of disassociation.
However the only verifiable subject that can actually be described as supernatural was the decaying of the corpses. According to autopsy reports they could tell they had died days before being found, and yet hadn’t seemed to decay until they were removed from the crime scene. All the other details can be chalked up to a very disturbed mind.
There’s one other thing Martin managed to find. He found the case file for these killings, and it appears that it was in fact solved. The culprit was apprehended and imprisoned, but I was surprised to see that the culprits name was Joseph Wright.
Not supernatural per se, but still.. disturbing. Recording ends.

Hi PC Enthusiasts. I built my computer in 2017, and while it's still in decent shape, I've noticed my fans working overdrive for newer games (like Sons of the Forest and Hogwarts Legacy on medium settings). I'm looking to make some upgrades but honestly not sure where to start and was looking for some advice. Budget is ~$1,000 - $1,500 for upgrades. I really enjoy my small and compact tower since I move almost annually. Appreciate any advice. Here are my current parts below:
PCPartPicker Part List

Type	Item	Price
CPU	AMD Ryzen 7 1800X 3.6 GHz 8-Core Processor	-
CPU Cooler	NZXT Kraken X53 73.11 CFM Liquid CPU Cooler	-
Motherboard	Asus ROG STRIX X470-I GAMING Mini ITX AM4 Motherboard	-
Memory	G.Skill Aegis 16 GB (2 x 8 GB) DDR4-3000 CL16 Memory	-
Storage	Western Digital Black PCIe 256 GB M.2-2280 PCIe 3.0 X4 NVME Solid State Drive	-
Storage	Crucial P1 2 TB M.2-2280 PCIe 3.0 X4 NVME Solid State Drive	-
Video Card	NVIDIA Founders Edition GeForce GTX 1080 Ti 11 GB Video Card	-
Case	Cooler Master MasterBox NR200 Mini ITX Desktop Case	-
Power Supply	Corsair SF600 600 W 80+ Platinum Certified Fully Modular SFX Power Supply	-
Monitor	Asus ROG SWIFT PG348Q 34.0" 3440 x 1440 100 Hz Curved Monitor	-
	Prices include shipping, taxes, rebates, and discounts
	Total	$0.00
	Generated by PCPartPicker 2023-03-27 02:34 EDT-0400

Summer
We met at the gym. Gazpacho was trying to lose his weight; he was heavily obese and was around four hundred and seventy pounds when I first met him. He lost about a hundred and fifty pounds by the last bit of his life. He never shaped himself into his ideal form, but the thought of going to the gym counted, and he gained the ability to walk upright again, especially for long distances.
We used to swim in the local river next to the prairie– it was too hot not to. We used to make jokes about Gazpacho and about how his body was too buoyant because of all that extra fat he had on him. He was a good sport about it— he sometimes shrugged it off or flicked us the bird when he really wasn’t having it, though.
Memory One
One day while we were at the river Gazpacho seemed a little down and was sitting by the water with his toes dipped in. While everyone else was playing in the water I walked over and sat next to him by a tree in the shade.
“What’s wrong?” I said to Gazpacho.
“Nothing much, man.”
“You seem stressed out. You want a smoke?”
“Nah, I’m fine.” He said. We sat there for quite awhile in silence. Probably for hours. I was concerned about him.
I sat with Gazpacho until the sun went down from the middle of the sky to and across the prairie by the horizon, casting the last bit of its colors upon the field until there was nothing but a crimson glow of dusk across the sky.
“I’m tired. I might go home.” He said.
“It’s pretty early still. You should stay out with us while you’ve got the chance.”
“Nah, I might just go home.”
“I’ll go home too then.”
As we walked home through the field everything was pitch black but a couple of star lights that were twinkling. Gazpacho stopped dead in his tracks, already looking up at the sky.
“What do they make you think of?” Gazpacho said.
“The stars?” I said, now stopping too.
“Yeah.”
“Well, they’ve been there for a while.” I said.
“Yeah. I don’t know how they make me feel.”
“Why do you ask?” I said.
“I don’t know. I’ve just been wondering about it is all.”
We stood there for a while in silence. He went home shortly after.
——
Memory Two
There was a week where the power was out in the neighborhood because of a blizzard. The snow flooded the roads and the grass and the front yards and the porches and up to Gazpacho’s doorstep. The snow was so heavy that the cars were stuck parked on the road. And the wind blew fiercely, thumping against the windows of the living room where we sat. Our three sofa chairs were huddled around a decently large table that sat next to a raging fire, and the chimney was crammed— causing thick, luscious flames to erupt from the overfilled wood. Gazpacho used his tongue to lick along the squared edge of the rolling paper, the saliva, like glue— all the while the light from the fire danced across the left side of his rounded face, his right side obscured by the darkness of the room. He wore a thick, arctic coat with fur inside its hood with two layers of jeans and two layers of socks with boots covering each foot.
“When’s that blunt gonna be done?” our friend Marty said to Gazpacho.
“It is done.” Gazpacho said. He sat learning forwards with his one hand on his knee, his other hand brandishing the joint in the flickering light of the fire.
“Yeah, I see. Pass it around.” said Marty.
“Well I gotta light it first.”
“Yeah, that’s true.”
“Where’s the lighter at?” Gazpacho said.
“Here.” Marty tossed the lighter to Gazpacho with an underhand throw.
“Thanks.”
With it in hand, he flicked the lighter, which caused it to spark; he flicked it a couple of times, but the butane was almost out so no flame caught.
“Use the fire.” I said.
“Right.” He said. He pushed up to his feet with a grunt. He was pretty overweight, so the floorboards creaked as he walked to the chimney facing us at the edge of the room.
“This fire’s too big to stick this joint in.” He said.
“Use a stick.” I said.
“Good idea.” He said. He took a stick out from the pile of kindling next to the fireplace, placing part of it into the fire and then pulling it out shortly after. The edge was hot to the touch— and it took on a deep, crimson red. He used the flames from the stick to light the joint, but the joint didn’t burn evenly because of the expanding and contracting flames across the side of it.
“It’s uneven, but it’ll be fine.” He said confidently, tossing the burning stick into the fire, walking back to the couch before sitting down with a large thump.
“Let’s hope so.” Marty said. Gazpacho took a few tokes before handing me the joint.
“It’s good.” Gazpacho said before coughing.
I inspected the side of the joint, my index and middle finger pinching against the filter, “This shit’s pretty uneven.”
“Come on bro, that was twenty dollars.” My other friend said.
“Hell, I guess so.” Gazpacho said.
————
Memory Three
One time we walked outside and the trees were all but dead and their branches were crooked and hollow. We thought the snow was quite nice. It was fluffy and white, and it lay scattered across the neighborhood yards and roads.
My father had a truck that we drove in the wintertime to get us around. Us three had our licenses, so I wasn’t always the one driving.
It was only us driving in the snow at the time— we had a four wheeler so we could get through it all. No other car was driving on the road at the time.
“Are you ready?” My other friend shouted from the driving seat to Gazpacho, his head peeking out from the side window. It was funny, seeing Gazpacho on that sled. He looked like a fat thumb on a tiny fingerboard; he was too big for the sides of the sled, so part of his body, the sides of his torso, stuck out from the edges and hung over the icy-cold road. He wore a thick leather jacket made for Harley Davidson riders which he used as padding against the road’s friction.
“I don’t know if I am!” He called back to my other friend. I sat in the truck’s bed. The sled that he laid on, with his chest against the bottom, connected to a thick rope that stretched across the snowy road and up the truck and tied around the receiver hitch. He held onto the sides of the sled tightly. I don’t know how we convinced him to do it, but we were to drag Gazpacho along the road by sled.
“I’m scared.” Gazpacho called over.
With a sudden jerk from the front, my friend began driving, the speedometer climbing up from one to three to five to a steady speed of about ten miles per hour.
“Go faster,” I called to Marty, and he gave me a thumbs up through his side window as he drove.
Gazpacho yelled from the back, “I’m too heavy for this kind of thing! Think about the momentum!”
“You’ll be fine!” I shouted.
The speedometer flicked up to about fifteen to then twenty miles an hour. The wind fiercely whipped against the sides of my head, flowing between the slits of my eyes. My friend Gazpacho began to shriek because he was going much faster than he anticipated.
“Don’t be a pussy, Gazpacho!” I called from the back of the truck.
But then, Gazpacho began to swerve from left to right. We passed trash cans and driveways and pedestrians walking their dogs; it was a sight to see us doing this, I thought.
“Slow this thing down!” He roared.
“Alright— alright! Slow it down! Slow it down!” I said to my other friend.
Gazpacho was fine after the whole ordeal. We still joke about it to this day.
——-—
He was a stoic man, Gazpacho. He only liked to talk when other people talked to him. Sometimes he brought up conversation starters, but he was usually a mellow guy throughout the time I knew him.
Gazpacho, in the last bit of his life, got a job at the local supermarket. He was very introverted. His manager complained to him that he needed to talk more, but it was hard for him to articulate; he attempted to speak to his customers but didn’t have the necessary social skills to communicate effectively, usually stumbling over his words or not talking at all. It was awkward for him with some customers. He probably had some form of anxiety, but I wouldn’t know exactly what.
He got scared easily, and he didn’t like haunted houses especially. During Halloween we went without him to a Haunted House, and I could tell that he felt distant from us, as if we had wronged him in some way by going to the haunted house without him. He was a little distant after the whole thing.
He had periods of reclusion where he didn’t hangout for months. I sometimes went to his house to check up on him, but he didn’t answer the door on the multiple occasions that I visited. I assume he was in his basement watching TV most of the time or playing his guitar.
He was a very good guitarist. He played for many hours of the day and into the night, his fingers red with cuts and bruises. Although, he didn’t mind it.
These memories before are like most of the times I hung out with Gazpacho. It was nice, seeing Gazpacho. He was one of my best friends— maybe he was my best friend.
He was the type to not like a lot of people. He was a shy man, and he hardly liked to hangout. He liked me, surprisingly, and I was one of the only friends he had had up to that date.
We used to hang out in Gazpacho’s basement in the summer because the basement was very cold and dry, like a cellar for wine. The AC used to blow steadily throughout the room; it was one of those box ACs that sat lodged in the windows of those poor neighborhoods down South.
It was the year 1989 when Gazpacho was born, raised watching Cartoon Network during the day and Adult Swim during the night. He was an only child nurtured by a struggling single mother who had always said that she was in between jobs. So the house wasn’t always clean, nor did it always have power on until later on in his youth. His dad had died of pneumonia when he was very young and left them the house in his will.
Growing up, he used to go swimming with some of his old buddies while the sky was light blue and the breeze was cold but not too cold to impede upon one’s occasions. He did this where the crickets chirped and the bees buzzed along the prairie next to the river where he and his friends watched the formation of the stars above the sky glisten in the twilight.
In his early teens his mother had won a law settlement that granted them a lot of money for a time, but she spent it haphazardly— only for herself when it came to shopping and going out to bars. During this time Gazpacho usually sat alone in his home, collecting his own thoughts.
He was always a tad bit overweight, but in his late teens when his mother died and left some inheritance money along with the house for him to live a couple of years on, that’s when he got most of his weight; I guess the toll of losing both parents had affected him in a very negative way.
He had tried to kill himself once but wasn’t successful because a friend had found him dazed out on some pills alone in his room and took him to the hospital. He sat alone in a rehabilitation center for about a month, all the while thinking to himself about his actions and their consequences.
It took him a while to recuperate, but when he did he felt a lot better and started going to the gym where we met. We hung out in the summer, then the fall, and then the winter.
He killed himself last winter. He left me a note talking about how he was thankful that I was there for him in the times he needed me most. After his death, he was cremated. His ashes were spread across the river we used to hangout in. There was no funeral.
Everyday after my work I like to play his guitar. It’s a dark black fender with a solid white pickguard, pristine in its condition. When I strum the guitar, the cords vibrate in a way unlike any other guitar I’ve ever held. It’s weird… Its cords reverberate after the notes have long been strung.
I inherited some of his other belongings, but his distant family took the rest. I find that wrong because they weren’t there when he needed them most.
——-
My last memory of Gazpacho
There were millions of them, the stars, all glowing and watching us from the night sky as we laid across the prairie.
“What do you think they mean?” I asked Gazpacho.
“I think they represent eternity.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, when a star dies, it isn’t really gone because the light still shines in the sky millions of years later after they blow up. The star's light is still there but the star isn’t there. The stars we’re looking at may all be gone, but they still glow in the sky. Y'know what I mean?”
“Not really, honestly.”
“It’s hard to explain. But I think you just have to think about it enough to understand.”
Shortly after this memory, he went home and killed himself that night.
——-
I never knew exactly what he meant by that, his perspective on the stars. His last words. But whenever I lay on the prairie looking at them, I think of you Gazpacho, and how those stars that were once in the sky are still glowing.
I miss you, Gazpacho.

Hello my lovely linguists!
Welcome to our third discussion of Babel by R. F. Kuang. This week we're wrapping up Book II as we discuss Chapters 9-12. If you need a quick refresher on our previous discussions, you can check the schedule here. A friendly reminder: please only discuss content up to the end of Chapter 12. Content beyond that, even if marked by a spoiler tag, is not allowed and should instead be added to the marginalia post. And without further ado, here's a recap of this week's section!
Summary:
Somehow, to Robin's surprise, his first year at Babel comes to end. Our fearsome foursome head off to summer internships around the world, although it's not quite what they expected. Before they know it, it's time for the start of their second year, and they're back at Babel, eager to see each other and continue learning.
As second years, the cohort now has access to the silver-working workspace, even though they aren't allowed to do anything yet. Their first day back, after a brief moment of upset about a student's desk, Professor Playfair gives a riveting speech about the basics of silver working and reveals the "funny" fact that although not much has to be done to maintain the bars, people are willing to pay anything for what they deem as magic. Professor Playfair ends his class with a demonstration of a match-pair they must never attempt: the concept of translation. Entranced, the cohort heads off to lunch where they catch the attention of Anthony, who again reminds them that due to language evolution, it's Ramy and Robin that Babel is counting on to keep them so successful in the future.
After lunch, the cohort heads up to their first Etymology class with Professor Lovell, which is not nearly as awkward as Robin worried it might be. They enjoy the class and the different things they're studying their second year. Although it's a lot of work, their coursework opens their eyes to new and interesting ways of seeing the world. Beyond that, the four of them have managed to carve out their little niche in Oxford; while the people around them aren't always so welcoming, they've found places where they can be themselves and are mostly accepted. Towards the end of the first term, a French scientist named Louis-Jacques-Mande Daguerre visits Babel in the hopes that someone can help him perfect his new invention, the daguerreotype. Anthony is able to come up a successful match-pair that allows the machine to perfectly capture still images. At Letty's insistence, the four of them sign up to have their photos. The others are repulsed by the final picture, but Letty decides to keep it and frame it.
Around the same time, Griffin starts to pop up in Oxford on a more regular basis. A lot of times Griffin tries to brief Robin before some planned theft, but other times he seems to just want to chat, to Robin's surprise. Of course, Griffin never wants to chat about what Robin's really interested in, which is more details about Hermes and what they do with the stolen resources. But one day Robin asks a question which Griffin is willing to answer - does Hermes really think it can win against the likes of Babel? To Robin's disappointment and annoyance, Griffin proceeds to give him a brief lesson in colonialism 101 and how all of the silver-working resources and talent is flowing to Britain. Except, as Robin knows, the British are running out of silver - it's now flowing into China. The British love Chinese goods - fabrics, teas, etc. But the Chinese people by and large don't care for British goods, so the British have to pay for goods in silver. Griffin predicts that one day Babel's prowess won't matter because Britain simply won't have the raw silver to produce anything anymore. At that point, the British empire will fold in on itself; all of the silver-working talent will follow the resources to China. For Griffin, Hermes is a way to just speed along the natural conclusion of the British empire.
Robin finds all of this hard to believe - the idea of a world after the British empire collapses seems unfathomable, and Hermes seems as if it could never be effective against Babel. Griffin is annoyed that Robin doesn't see things his way, but he trusts him enough to increase the number of assignments he gives him. Some of them are still midnight heists, but others are just making copies of various texts. To Robin's surprise and disappointment, it's all less sexy than he would have imagined or hoped for - just incredibly routine. Even the thefts of silver become mundane, especially since no one seems to be making a fuss over missing materials. Griffin still meets regularly with Robin, although less often about Hermes, and it dawns on Robin that Griffin misses being a student, and perhaps just wants to spend time with him. Griffin even gets him a newly printed edition of Oliver Twist for Christmas, although it's meant as more of a joke. Robin wishes his brother would come back with him and join him for Christmas, but reconciles Griffin and Hermes as a part of life separate from his life as a Babel student.
At the start of the next term, the cohort arrives to the Tower that morning to see a ruckus - someone has tried to break into Babel to steal something, presumably. He was caught by the wards though, which apparently shot him. Anthony explains that Professor Playfair is in charge of the defensive wards, and very secretive about the exact nature, although it seems to always be brutal. The five of them watch as a couple of policeman drag the bleeding man away from the tower. When Robin meets with Griffin later that day, he's nervous and tries to tell Griffin it's too risky to go through with the next theft. Griffin waves him off and gives him the bar from the first theft as a precaution. Robin takes it, but he's still nervous - he asks Griffin why he's the one that has to take the risks and why Griffin can't do it himself. Griffin reveals that like Robin, he was an orphan that Professor Lovell "rescued" from China and offered the chance to study to attend Babel. However, in his case, Griffin left his homeland so young that he had forgotten how to speak his mother tongue of Cantonese, and that by the time he was an adult his mastery of Mandarin had slipped so that he couldn't reliably make the silver bars work. So, as he explains to Robin, Griffin really, really needs him to help out if they're going to succeed.
The next week, Robin arrives back from dinner to find a note from Griffin - he has fifteen minutes to make it to the tower in time. Robin grabs his coat and the bar and hurries to the tower. He makes it just in time as the bells strike eleven and a pair of operatives dash inside with him. In his haste Robin forgot to grab his bag or anything that would give him a reason to be there at that time, but it seems to be fine - he just waits in the lobby for the operatives to finish up. They come down at five past as expected, but when Robin opens the door and they step over the threshold there's an awful noise. The operatives scurry away, but Robin hesitates: has the trap been sprung and is slow-acting, or does his movement actually spring the trap?
Robin runs down the stairs and learns it was the later. He feels an explosion of pain in his left arm as he's hit by a bullet, but that's the only one that strikes him. Robin runs down the green and turns onto Broad Street, where he's out of range and sight from the tower. He's overcome with pain; he takes out the bar and tries to use it to make himself invisible but can't concentrate due to the pain. At that moment Professor Playfair yells at him to stop, but then realizes that it's Robin. He asks Robin if he saw anyone, and Robin somehow manages to lie, explaining that he had only heard the noise and was a bit shaken up after the incident last week. Professor Playfair is disappointed that the wards weren't able to stop the thief but eventually says goodbye to Robin and heads back to the tower. Robin somehow makes his way back to his room and inspects his wound. Fortunately he was only grazed, but he doesn't know how to care for it properly. He digs around his things and finds some brandy that he uses to disinfect the wound before wrapping it tightly in strips from some of his shirts. The next day after class, he finds a book on field wounds and gets some supplies from a nearby market. That night, he drinks some more of the brandy to help dull his mind enough for him to suture his wound back together. Throughout all of this, Robin feels utterly alone and miserable - he's furious with Griffin because he'd tried to warn him this would happen and unable to confide in the rest of the cohort without revealing Hermes.
Telling Griffin I told you so has to wait though, since Robin doesn't hear from him the rest of the term or year actually. He barely has time to notice though, as his second year coursework becomes more demanding and he spends the summer preparing for a pre-term assessment. The cohort enters their third year and...everything kind of sucks. Their already heavy workload doubles for each class, and now they'll pick up a silver-working apprenticeship and an independent research project. Robin and Letty are more or less satisfied with their chosen research projects, but Ramy and Victoire run into issues right away. Ramy is frustrated that Harding doesn't agree to his first or second proposal for a project, and that he has to settle or editing citations in the Persian Grammatica based on Schlegel's works which, despite being about India, were written in Paris. Victoire, however, is deeply uncomfortable with how Professor Leblanc wants to proceed. He was grudgingly acceptable of a project done in Kreyol, but for the most part wanted to focus on Vodou, and specifically aspects of it that would seem sacred. Letty doesn't see what the issue is - after all, Victoire is French, and it's not as if she actually believes any of that stuff, so why does it matter? Victoire becomes frustrated with Letty, and it becomes clear that the women are fighting.
Honestly, the cohort as a whole starts to struggle. Depending on who is talking to whom, they start using platitudes in order to keep a fragile peace, because everything seems to either be an unintended slight or a deliberate offense.. Letty and Victoire seemed to purposely go out of their way not to spend time in each other's presence unless around Robin and Ramy. And although he can't quite put a finger on why, Robin notices the interactions between Letty and Ramy have gotten much worse - that there now seems to be a heightened sense of hurt about them. It all sounds horrible to be honest, made worse by the fact that they have no one else to turn (I thought I spent way too much time with the other people in my year and major but at least there were about 50 of us).
Meanwhile, time and classwork go on. As the third soon-to-be Sinologist, Robin finds himself traveling around town with Professor Chakravarti to help maintain silver bars as part of his apprenticeship. It's pretty mind-numbing, and sometimes residents don't actually believe that the two of them are Babel scholars. 🙃 Robin still gets the chance to learn some interesting things, such as how resonance links allow Babel to use less silver to power bars in use around the country. As he goes about his apprenticeship, Robin notes to himself that oddly enough it would be much easier for him to steal things for Hermes now if asked and struggles to believe that the British empire could ever collapse in on itself as Griffin prophesized.
One day in mid-January, the cohort arrives at the tower only to find a peculiar situation. Professor Playfair informs them that Anthony is presumed dead, as he hasn't been seen or heard from since the night before he was due to set sail and return from a research expedition. All of the upperclassmen and graduate fellows are upset and wear black all week to symbolize their mourning. The faculty however, seem to be unaffected at all, and don't even hold a memorial service in his honor. This terrifies them all, especially Letty, as it speaks to just how expendable each of them is in the eyes of Babel. It's always been an unspoken understanding, but the lack of reaction to Anthony's death makes it real in a way it hasn't before. Robin is particularly concerned about Victoire, given her closeness with Anthony but he can never seem to broach the subject with her. Letty, on the other hand, brings up Anthony's death and life all of the time, to his dismay.
Griffin finally comes back around later that term. Robin would have missed the note if not for a patron magpie, but he gamely sets off for the Twisted Root the next day as instructed. Griffin shows up almost an hour late and he looks...rough. He's wheezing and out of breath, limping, has what appears to be a still open wound and smells a bit. Robin awkwardly tries to make small talk about their independent research projects while Griffin scarfs down his food. After he finishes his plate, Griffin hands Robin a list of texts to retrieve for him; Robin is infuriated that Griffin doesn't even seem to acknowledge that he had been shot during the last theft. Once he explains to Griffin why he's annoyed, Griffin waves it off, saying that it was a mistake that he'd correct going forward and giving him the location of a safehouse. He then directs Robin to tell him what's been going on in Babel, which Robin grudgingly obliges. At the end of his summary, Robin mentions that Anthony died. Griffin remarks that he and Anthony were in the same cohort, but otherwise seems unaffected by the news. This puzzles Robin - does no one really care at all that Anthony is dead? But Griffin explains to him that they're all assets to Babel until they fail, at which point they're no longer worth anything, and that, as far as Babel is concerned, death is the same as failure.
But it's still shaping up to be a very bad year. Even beyond Griffin's attitude and their coursework, Robins feels like everything he loved about Oxford has been ripped away. The older students try to reassure them that this is just the typical third-year slump, but it's more than that. The number of attempted thefts rises sharply, from two to three a year to once a week. One morning the cohort arrives to the Tower to find graffiti accusing them of witchcraft. And then one morning they arrive at the tower to find a furious mob shouting at students and professors going in and out of the tower. One of them started yelling at Victoire, and another man even threw an egg at her although Ramy managed to shield her. Ramy and Robin grab Victoire and Letty and pull them inside of the tower. In the lobby, Cathy O'Nell informs them that the crowd outside are former mill workers who are now unemployed; Babel has just signed a contract with mill owners in Northern England to install new silver bars. The bars will essentially do the work of all of those men combined and the company owners are willing to pay a pretty penny for it - enough to fund renovations of the east wing of the lobby. Of course, now all of these men need to find a way to support their families.
During class, Professor Lovell has a much more cruel and condescending opinion. In his opinion, the shouting mob are an example of the worst people, who, instead of finding a way to take advantage of the opportunities around them are content to complain to anyone who'll listen. According to Professor Lovell, the difference between the men outside and himself (and presumably, Babel as a whole) is that he has embraced science, technology, and used whatever advantages he had to better himself while the men outside are stubborn, sore losers that refuse to move forward. He predicts that the men will be gone by sunset, but that at that point they won't bother to come around again.
Except, the men do stick around. Their numbers dwindle over time, but on the whole the crowd shows up to protest several times a week. One morning the scholars even discover a bomb has been delivered to Professor Playfair's office, although fortunately rain soaking the passage eroded the fuse. As expected, security doubled; all of the post was inspected by clerks; new wards were put up. But the general unease and unrest wasn't just limited to Babel - the whole country was feeling the same effects. The silver bars produced by Babel were marketed as an industrial revolution that would yield greater gains and prosperity for everyone, but in reality the bulk of the riches flowed to the top while inequality became rampant. Robin and the rest of his cohort worked to remain unaware however, choosing to retreat inwards and focus on their studies to the extent possible.
The fourth years took their exams in the middle of the second term (Hilary term) and, after the exam period ended, everyone gathered inside of the tower one Friday to hear the results. Professor Playfair, who we know lives and breathes to create a spectacle, stands on a table and begins to read the results out loud. All of the fourth years pass except for one - Philip Wright, the upperclassman who had rudely snubbed Robin during a faculty dinner his freshman year. All of them watch as Professor Playfair dramatically breaks the vials containing Wright's blood and three graduate fellows literally throw him out of the tower.
With that lovely image in mind, Robin meets Griffin at a tavern a couple of days later. Griffin somehow looks worse than before, but he waves off Robin's concerns, instead trying to talk to him about the next theft. Babel is expecting a big shipment of silver to come in, and Griffin hopes that Hermes can steal a crate. He tells Robin that they'll need a large distraction, and so he'll likely need to store some explosives in Robin's room, which, predictably, freaks Robin out. Griffin tries to calm him down and reassure him, but Robin decides that he's done and no longer wants to help, not after seeing Wright be expelled and not after the last missing when he was shot. From Robin's perspective, Griffin has gotten sloppy and he hasn't done enough to reassure Robin that the risks are worth the reward. Although he doesn't want to, Griffin finally capitulates and explains that Britain is planning to move into Afghanistan and that presumably Hermes will use the silver to prevent that.
At that, Robin laughs in amazement. To him, it all seems so silly and pointless; the levers of power are firmly held by Babel and the Empire, and for all their work Hermes can do nothing. Griffin is furious and disappointed that Robin feels that way, and issues an ultimatum: is Robin in or out. Robin decides he's out. Griffin warns Robin to keep his mouth shut or he'll deal with him. But before he goes, Griffin tells Robin that he's lost, but that he won't find what he's looking for. He's free to make his own life, and he can do so much more than just survive.
Discussion questions are below. See you next week for the start of Book 3!

Hey there everyone, I made a clean install of my PC in late february (A razer laptop). It has been freezing completely during playing games. Black screen + Audio freezes mid-sound and goes brrrrrrrr until I hold the power button. I am getting bad performance in other areas too. Counter Strike crashing, Fortnite randomly hitching, Discord audio becoming totally silent.
I don't claim to be an expert on anything, but I wrote down the times when I crashed the last couple times so I could see if anything in event log lined up. Here is what I found, that could just be a coincidence but I figured I'd add it here just in case.
There are 6 entries before all of the 4 most recent crashes that say Hypervisor is starting up, including a warning that says "The hypervisor did not enable mitigations for side channel vulnerabilities for virtual machines because HyperThreading is enabled. To enable mitigations for virtual machines, disable HyperThreading."
This error occurs approx 1 minute before the crash, but it is hard to tell because every time the error occurs it doesn't log the seconds, so IDK.
I do not have hypervisor installed as far as I know, and I do not run any VM's. This warning message seems to occur every 1-2 days, and I have been crashing once every 1-2 days. It seems very suspicious to me, since that error is not happening all the time. It has happened just once every 1-2 days, in a pattern.
That could be a coincidence, so any advice outside of that is welcome too.
Windows 11 Home 10.0.22621 Build 22621
Razer Blade 15 (2022) RZ09-0421
12th Gen Intel(R) Core(TM) i7-12800H, 2400 Mhz, 14 Core(s), 20 Logical Processor(s)
BIOS Version/Date Razer 1.09, 2/22/2022
32.0 GB (31.7 GB usable)
NVIDIA GeForce RTX 3070 Ti Laptop GPU (driver 531.29)
​
IDK what to do. I put as much info as I knew to get. If you want something else let me know. Hopefully someone has an idea.
​
Edit 1: I may have solved the problem myself. I downloaded a program called CoreTemp, and it shows frequency at 4500 when I'm doing nothing. When I launch into a fortnite game 3 of my cores get a next to them, and frequency drops to like 1900MHz, that's bad right?

I'm just your average businessman, working my 9 to 5 and trying to pay off my student loans. As I'm driving home from work one day, suddenly a black van t-bones my car and uses me as a makeshift battering ram to force another car against a concrete embankment. Then three men climb out of the van with military rifles and start firing at the guy in the other car like he's on the FBI most wanted list. I try to make myself as flat as possible during the protracted firefight. Within ten minutes, the dude in the other car has taken out all three men (and another two who showed up) before escaping on a motorcycle.
I'm doing okay, just a little banged up, but I'm going to need at least a new door, two new wheels, a windshield, and maybe a hood. Do I file a police report? Is this considered an act of God for the purposes of my insurance? I'm pretty sure the guy who ran away killed someone with a car mirror, I don't exactly want to send any ambulance chasers after him.

This couple wants to put their nanny on their company’s payroll, and I was wondering if that was allowed? This is the post:
salaried position with benefits!
Hi everyone!
We are looking for a long term employee to care for our son and grow with our family. Our baby boy abc is only 2 weeks old, but we are looking for someone to start mid-late April once our temporary day help goes to her new family. I go back to work full time in mid July and my husband owns several businesses. We have a night nurse until i go back to work, so between mid April and mid July we mainly need this individual to help during the week and some weekends. Once I go back to work, this individual will care for our son M-F probably from 7-5 pm or so and then some shifts on weekends and some week nights for dates/events. This may vary once we figure out what works best for us. This person will be a part of our family so really looking for someone who is loving, responsible, experienced, reliable, and kind. We also have two French bulldogs so this individual needs to be comfortable around dogs. Please see details below!
Details: * Located in abc * Looking for someone to start the week of April 17th or 24th and be with us long term * Competitive pay - this will be a salaried employee - $75k-85k a year with benefits * For first few months, hours will vary. Once I go back to work mid July, there will be more hours/responsibilities
Qualifications: * CPR certified * Experience with newborns and infants * Prior teaching or developmental experience is a huge plus * Reliable transportation and clean driving record * Non-smoker * Must agree to background check * Have all necessary vaccinations (flu, covid, TDAP) * References from prior families * Would love someone bilingual! Not a deal breaker though
Responsibilities: * All Laundry for baby and household * Play and engage with baby during the day, put down for naps, give bottles, go on walks, etc. * Make sure nursery is stocked and tidy * House Cleaning throughout the week. * Would also love someone to cook meals occasionally or help prep meals when I go back to work full time
Schedule: * Monday - Friday : hours subject to change slightly based on needs each week. * Would like a few nights a week or weekend nights occasionally to allow us to go on dates from time to time. This would be in shorter time blocks or for date nights and would only start after mid July once our night nurses are done.
Benefits: due to constant harassment by members here who can only see black and white. We will no longer be calling this a nanny position, since there are many other roles in the person we are looking for which are listed above. If a nanny wants to apply with zero benefits at $25hr please feel free.
We will be hiring this person as an employee since they will be handling many duties outside of just taking care of our son. As an employee of one of our businesses you will have the following benefits: * $75,000-$85,000 a year * Paid 2 week vacation * Paid HMO Insurance * Paid Dental * Paid Vision * Life Insurance $100,000 * 401k with 6% company match * Occasional Stars and Mavericks tickets

Sorry if this is worded weirdly or an odd question! I’m a complete beginner, learning pretty much everything as I go. My ball Python is getting a tank upgrade in the next few days actually! The new tank is a front glass door one while his current is a top mesh opening tank.
That’s where my question comes up. Is it possible to use colored window tint for the sides of the new tank? Specifically multicolored. Green and blue if that matters. Or would that cause him distress? I’ve tried looking it up and I’ve gotten only answers for black out tint. His tank isn’t near a window and only the front is in direct light so I don’t believe it’ll cast too much color over his enclosure. I’ll also be using an overhead light for his heating. My original thought was that the window tint would be a nice visual block so he doesn’t feel too out in the open, while also serving as a nice accident. His new tank’s side walls are split in two as well. The top half is glass and the bottom is black ventilation mess. The back wall will be covered by a false rock piece as well.
What do you all think? Would this be a cute addition or something that just freaks my ball Python out? I don’t want to accidentally scare him.

Link: https://app.roll20.net/lfg/listing/365351/tales-from-the-yawning-portal-group-name-pending Game: D&D 5e Group type: Online (Roll20) Experience: Beginers Welcome Location/Timezone: See the Roll20 game listing in the link above for the time in your distinct timezone, but late nights Wednesday in North America and mornings on Thursday in East Asia/Australia Schedule: Weekly Roles sought: 4 more players (at least 1 more to start) Price: $25 USD for a 4 hour session via PayPal.
Welcome to the dungeon crawl extravaganza, heroes of the realms! We are just starting our adventure. We will soon dive into "The Sunless Citadel" the first adventure in this series! There is a long journey ahead!
Tales from the Yawning Portal will be a campaign focused around some of the toughest and most dangerous dungeons to be released for Dungeons and Dragons! This campaign will lead you on amazing adventures from level 1 all the way to level 16-20 as you face off against a mighty lich as you seek out their phylacteries!
Time This will be a weekly campaign that will last about a year in total. Sessions will be 4 hours long. Sessions will be held at the time listed in this listing. If you are using a VPN, your time might differ from the actual listing time, so please double check.
Communications Out of game communications will be handled via the Critical Tavern Discord server. In-game communication, voice and video, will be handled via Roll20. Video is optional, but you will need a microphone and an account on Discord to participate.
Payment This game will require payment to the Game Master at a rate of $25 per person per 4 hour session via PayPal. If you feel like supporting the Game Master further, this game allows tipping the Game Master at a rate of your choice. Roll20 is not responsible for any payment transactions and cannot enforce any private arrangements.
Safety Tools This game will use a few safety tools to help make the game a more enjoyable experience fro everyone!
Session zero: Session 0's are used to start the game, opening up with communication, setting expectations, and discussing any safety tools that will be used at the table. Everyone will get a free session zero regardless of when they start.
Lines and Veils: Lines and Veils set the boundaries of the games. Lines are hard limits for content the group doesn't want to participate in, this means that content will not be in game, referenced in game, or alluded to. Veils are soft limits, meaning that when the content arises it might be mentioned, but not described, or it could mean that when the content shows up, it results in a “fade-to-black”.
Open Door: Open-Door is an assurance that anyone in the group can take a break from the game for their own safety and well-being without judgment. This should be made clear to the group.
breaks: For long games or stressful content, having built-in breaks allows the group to stay focused and process content. This time can be used for bio breaks, conversation, or any other necessities. Anyone can take a break at any time, but there will also be a set ten minute break some time during the game so that we can all refresh.
Stars and Wishes: Stars and Wishes are used to reflect and discuss feedback in a positive way. Stars are used for things that participants enjoyed in the game. Wishes are things that participants would like to see in the future. Both players and the GM can express their stars and wishes to make the game better.
Safety tools will be further discussed in session zero and marked on the private game channel in the Discord server so that we can refer to them.
Content Warnings -Character Death -Violence -Language/Cursing -Blood -Drowning
Character Creation Details We are using D&D 5e rules. Characters will start at the same level as everyone else in the party. We can talk about what level that is in your session zero.
I will be sharing compendiums with players in my game for creating and leveling up your characters. This will include all first party books and a bunch of third party content. Third party content includes some books by Kobold's Press such as Tome of Heroes. If I have a compendium shared with you in game the content is allowed. All Tasha's optional Class features are allowed, and we will be using Tasha's Custom Species rules as well.
Stats are generated either by standard array or by rolling 4d6 and dropping the lowest then assigning the values in the order you choose.
The campaign will run from level 1 to levels 16-20 and will be a mixture of leveling by experience and leveling by milestone.
Player Expectations: -I realize this campaign is designed for both new and experienced players, and will work to make sure everyone at the table has a good time, regardless of skill level. -I realize that life happens, and am able to communicate on a timely basis anything that may come up to cause me to miss a session. I will also be gracious to others in the group if they need to miss a session. -I will stay engaged while we are playing. -I will not be rude or disruptive. -I have a microphone with good sound quality and a stable internet connection. -I will download Discord for out-of-game discussion and communication.
DM Expectations: -I will be on time to games, every session. -I will communicate clearly and in a timely manner any schedule abnormalities or other issues. -I respect all players equally. -I will be thoroughly prepared for each session. -I will be fair in my rulings. -I will provide a high quality collaborative experience which entertains and challenges.
What the DM can bring to the table -Encyclopedic knowledge of this game system's rules. -Tools to help new players and newcomers to Roll20 to get acclimated to the game. -Community and Support: The Critical Tavern community is growing every day. Get connected with others online and make friends through TTRPGs and Discord. -Content Support: Lots of materials for Roll20 VTT and in-depth experience with API and macros. -Macro Support: I can write a macro for your character sheet at your request. -Character Support: I will work with the players to make sure that they have the tools to tell their characters' story. Setting individual goals and creating events to make a one of a kind experience for you. This includes character support outside of games by messaging. -Fast paced TTRPG gaming: Through the use of mods and other tricks I can keep the action going and make it so that you never wait more than a minute for your GM to finish their turn.
About Me My name is Eddie, I'm a pretty experienced GM. I've been playing 5e for 8 years now. Recently I've been branching out into playing other systems, but I keep coming back to 5e. I'm currently running 6 campaigns and weekly one shots. I'm a content creator on Roll20 and a Translator. My second language is Japanese. I've only only started DMing full time recently, but I hope I can give you the experience you are looking for.
DM Style It varies from game to game, but something that is consistant throughout all of my games is player choice and interactions matter. This game is going to focus heavily on the dungeon and the arcane nature of it. There will be a pretty good balance of combat, puzzling, challenge, exploration and approach scenarios for players to dive into as a group and a few extra suprises along the way.
I like to reward variablity in play and creative approach within the rules of the world. I engage players based on their wants and needs and try my best to facilitate their ideas. I want to let you guys do cool things with you characters and help you create your stories however they may play out.
Applications Please, submit your applications in the applications thread in the link at the top of this post.

Link: https://app.roll20.net/lfg/listing/365351/tales-from-the-yawning-portal-group-name-pending Game: D&D 5e Group type: Online (Roll20) Experience: Beginers Welcome Location/Timezone: See the Roll20 game listing in the link above for the time in your distinct timezone, but late nights Wednesday in North America and mornings on Thursday in East Asia/Australia Schedule: Weekly Roles sought: 4 more players (at least 1 more to start) Price: $25 USD for a 4 hour session via PayPal.
Welcome to the dungeon crawl extravaganza, heroes of the realms! We are just starting our adventure. We will soon dive into "The Sunless Citadel" the first adventure in this series! There is a long journey ahead!
Tales from the Yawning Portal will be a campaign focused around some of the toughest and most dangerous dungeons to be released for Dungeons and Dragons! This campaign will lead you on amazing adventures from level 1 all the way to level 16-20 as you face off against a mighty lich as you seek out their phylacteries!
Time This will be a weekly campaign that will last about a year in total. Sessions will be 4 hours long. Sessions will be held at the time listed in this listing. If you are using a VPN, your time might differ from the actual listing time, so please double check.
Communications Out of game communications will be handled via the Critical Tavern Discord server. In-game communication, voice and video, will be handled via Roll20. Video is optional, but you will need a microphone and an account on Discord to participate.
Payment This game will require payment to the Game Master at a rate of $25 per person per 4 hour session via PayPal. If you feel like supporting the Game Master further, this game allows tipping the Game Master at a rate of your choice. Roll20 is not responsible for any payment transactions and cannot enforce any private arrangements.
Safety Tools This game will use a few safety tools to help make the game a more enjoyable experience fro everyone!
Session zero: Session 0's are used to start the game, opening up with communication, setting expectations, and discussing any safety tools that will be used at the table. Everyone will get a free session zero regardless of when they start.
Lines and Veils: Lines and Veils set the boundaries of the games. Lines are hard limits for content the group doesn't want to participate in, this means that content will not be in game, referenced in game, or alluded to. Veils are soft limits, meaning that when the content arises it might be mentioned, but not described, or it could mean that when the content shows up, it results in a “fade-to-black”.
Open Door: Open-Door is an assurance that anyone in the group can take a break from the game for their own safety and well-being without judgment. This should be made clear to the group.
breaks: For long games or stressful content, having built-in breaks allows the group to stay focused and process content. This time can be used for bio breaks, conversation, or any other necessities. Anyone can take a break at any time, but there will also be a set ten minute break some time during the game so that we can all refresh.
Stars and Wishes: Stars and Wishes are used to reflect and discuss feedback in a positive way. Stars are used for things that participants enjoyed in the game. Wishes are things that participants would like to see in the future. Both players and the GM can express their stars and wishes to make the game better.
Safety tools will be further discussed in session zero and marked on the private game channel in the Discord server so that we can refer to them.
Content Warnings -Character Death -Violence -Language/Cursing -Blood -Drowning
Character Creation Details
We are using D&D 5e rules. Characters will start at the same level as everyone else in the party. We can talk about what level that is in your session zero.
I will be sharing compendiums with players in my game for creating and leveling up your characters. This will include all first party books and a bunch of third party content. Third party content includes some books by Kobold's Press such as Tome of Heroes. If I have a compendium shared with you in game the content is allowed. All Tasha's optional Class features are allowed, and we will be using Tasha's Custom Species rules as well.
Stats are generated either by standard array or by rolling 4d6 and dropping the lowest then assigning the values in the order you choose.
The campaign will run from level 1 to levels 16-20 and will be a mixture of leveling by experience and leveling by milestone.
Player Expectations: -I realize this campaign is designed for both new and experienced players, and will work to make sure everyone at the table has a good time, regardless of skill level. -I realize that life happens, and am able to communicate on a timely basis anything that may come up to cause me to miss a session. I will also be gracious to others in the group if they need to miss a session. -I will stay engaged while we are playing. -I will not be rude or disruptive. -I have a microphone with good sound quality and a stable internet connection. -I will download Discord for out-of-game discussion and communication.
DM Expectations: -I will be on time to games, every session. -I will communicate clearly and in a timely manner any schedule abnormalities or other issues. -I respect all players equally. -I will be thoroughly prepared for each session. -I will be fair in my rulings. -I will provide a high quality collaborative experience which entertains and challenges.
What the DM can bring to the table -Encyclopedic knowledge of this game system's rules. -Tools to help new players and newcomers to Roll20 to get acclimated to the game. -Community and Support: The Critical Tavern community is growing every day. Get connected with others online and make friends through TTRPGs and Discord. -Content Support: Lots of materials for Roll20 VTT and in-depth experience with API and macros. -Macro Support: I can write a macro for your character sheet at your request. -Character Support: I will work with the players to make sure that they have the tools to tell their characters' story. Setting individual goals and creating events to make a one of a kind experience for you. This includes character support outside of games by messaging. -Fast paced TTRPG gaming: Through the use of mods and other tricks I can keep the action going and make it so that you never wait more than a minute for your GM to finish their turn.
About Me My name is Eddie, I'm a pretty experienced GM. I've been playing 5e for 8 years now. Recently I've been branching out into playing other systems, but I keep coming back to 5e. I'm currently running 6 campaigns and weekly one shots. I'm a content creator on Roll20 and a Translator. My second language is Japanese. I've only only started DMing full time recently, but I hope I can give you the experience you are looking for.
DM Style It varies from game to game, but something that is consistant throughout all of my games is player choice and interactions matter. This game is going to focus heavily on the dungeon and the arcane nature of it. There will be a pretty good balance of combat, puzzling, challenge, exploration and approach scenarios for players to dive into as a group and a few extra suprises along the way.
I like to reward variablity in play and creative approach within the rules of the world. I engage players based on their wants and needs and try my best to facilitate their ideas. I want to let you guys do cool things with you characters and help you create your stories however they may play out.
Applications Please, submit your applications in the applications thread in the link at the top of this post.

View current status at https://www.trackalacker.com/products/showcase/nvidia-rtx-4090...
Sold by Walmart
As of 03/27/23 01:43 AM EDT

In February this year, my (28M) friend Haruna (29F) was staying over at my apartment while some emergency renovations were being done at her place. One day, she went to use the gym, and then she came back up to my apartment and took a shower. While she was in the shower, just for fun, I hid all her clothes and left her with only a frilly black bra and underwear. (The night before, she had lost a dare, and when she asked me what the penalty was, I just told her “I’ll think about it”.) I did all this, but in reality, I didn’t intend on Haruna to wear it at all. I was planning on giving her her clothes back.
So Haruna came out of the shower, and I actually heard her scream a little when she saw that there was nothing in her suitcase except a bra and panties. She asked me what the fuck happened, and I just coyly reminded her that she lost the dare. I expected to protest, and I would’ve then given her her clothes back. But she didn’t speak up at all. Instead, she reluctantly closed her door, and when she opened it again, she was silently crying, dressed in nothing but the bra and panties. I was speechless. That fucking moron. I immediately gave her back her clothes, and instead of putting them on, Haruna collapsed on the floor and started sobbing and freaking out. I had to hug her and calm her down, and she did eventually stop crying.
For the rest of the day, however, she was shell-shocked. In the evening, she requested that I “let her” stay with her little brother (26M) until her place was fixed. So I told her “yes, of course, you don’t need my permission to do anything”. So the next day she moved out and went to stay at her bro’s place.
A few days after she moved out, I got a very angry knock on my door. It was Haruna’s little brother. He yelled at me for what seemed like an eternity (even though I didn’t do anything), and then told me to stay out of his sister's life.

First off, thank you to everybody who offered valuable advice such as: 1) to talk to her to get to the root of why she's rejecting and trying to outrun her heritage 2) to get her to connect with her culture in fun, relatively simple ways she enjoys to open the door to more in the future 3) to get her to read/watch media that reflects people going through a similar struggle 4) get my parents involved in stopping her from harming herself. One memorable commentor even sent me links to Korean-Indian mixed weddings that showed an appreciation for Indian culture since she's a KPOP fan. I've tried to enact them.
I've gotten my parents involved, and they've made it impossible for her to get skin lightening creams, which is a good first step. I've tried building a bridge between her and her culture through small things-- sweets, traditional clothes, songs-- with minimal success, but I'll keep trying since it hasn't been long at all. Similar results for introducing her to media too.
The big thing, of course, was listening to her on why she felt the need to distance herself so much. Simply put, she felt India was portrayed by western media and seen by people in the west as something barbaric. In the eyes of many, millions of years of history and culture are reduced down to a view of the nation and all its people as backwards, oppressive, sexist, discriminatory. In her words, it goes further than that: because of the reductive views people have on India and its people, in which both those things are synonymous with 'uncivilized' and 'sexist', appreciating her culture was always seen as her being brainwashed for loving a culture that 'just wanted to oppress' her.
I've come across these same reductive, broad stroke stereotypes in my own previous post. For example:

They may already have a list of potential husbands to marry her off to

​

You should be proud and get her a new tube of "fair and lovely".

​

By the way, she's getting old, now. Time to find her a husband from a good family, I think.

​

Maybe she hates her indian Roots because girl are supposed to be beautiful, obedient, good at school, clean at home, serve parents and bro and marry the guy her parents choose for her, all this while being proud of her culture ofc

​

If I gave you a sandwich and said I put feces in it, would you still eat that sandwich?**
** (the comparison being in this case Indian culture= a sandwich with feces in it)

These are just a few examples from my post. So I can see how she could run into these views as well that would paint a reductive, stereotypical view of her heritage as well. She's taken these sorts of disgusting views she's come across-- that India, and hence her heritage, is something negative or dirty, and that appreciating it means she's embracing something that's inherently against her existence-- and has totally internalized them. This is to such an extent that she sees her Indian heritage as something she needs to escape or remove. But she cannot, no matter now many times she talks about looking Italian or how many tubs of skin lightening cream she uses. Growing up in an Indian household in the US, straddling those two very different worlds and cultures, gave her a unique upbringing shared by nobody-- not kids who grew up in India, nor those with roots in the US, not even other immigrant families. That unique upbringing shaped who she is, and her heritage as an Indian-American, and the impact it had on her psyche, is imprinted within her. She cannot change that, she's acutely aware of that, and it scares her, because she's been taught to see it as something disgusting.
With time, I want to teach her what I learned myself-- that it isn't a choice she has to make, to embrace one culture or another, to be an American or an Indian. You can embrace the parts of both that you like, and leave the other parts behind. It's not black or white. Being Indian is a part of her that she cannot ever outrun, just like being an American is. But that doesn't have to mean being 100% one or the other.
And I hope people who portray India and Indians with such disgusting stereotypes realize how perpetuating them instead of recognizing it's beauty plays a huge part in causing people like my sister to hate their culture. So rather than helping or supporting her 'liberation' are, hypocritically, part of the reason why young people of Indian descent develop self hatred. I hope every kid grappling with their identity because of these stereotypes can grow to appreciate the beauty of their culture.
I hope that with time, empathy, and support, I can lead my sister to seeing that too.