Ad age leading women 2021

The latest news on the issue coming out of the country:

• https://twitter.com/andst7/status/1638303686018433026

And here's a more comprehensive breakdown of what they're facing:

• https://www.nytimes.com/2023/01/30/world/europe/italy-birthrate.html

Italy elected its first far-right government since WWII last year, led by the party descended from Mussolini's regime itself:

• https://www.npr.org/2022/09/26/1125172936/italy-is-all-set-to-have-its-first-far-right-government-since-world-war-ii

With women increasingly moving away or not having children, a snapshot of the country's dating woes are seen through the apps, where 91% of the nation's users are men, the most of any country measured:

• https://www.netimperative.com/2019/04/05/online-dating-trends-men-outnumber-women-on-tinder-by-9-to-1-while-grinder-wins-for-age-diversity/

Is it a coincidence that the countries facing these birth rate and population declines (Japan, Korea, Italy, the US) are all politically and/or culturally conservative? With notably poor treatment of women relative to other Developed World countries.
It looks like the men in charge these places need to remember that women can live independently now, and that includes from the cultural structures that they put up. Women are growing in economic and financial strength, and when things aren't working for them, they're increasingly capable of tearing it down or going somewhere else and leaving it to rot. Sure, other factors come into play in some of these places (Xenophobia, Religion), but these are all things that go hand-in-hand with the oppression of women.
Other countries are struggling economically, but with less oppressive cultures and better treatment of women, as if by magic we've seen countries like Spain and Canada completely avoid any of these issues. Perhaps this is all just the national version of Darwinism.

I have a fairly complicated pregnancy coming from lightly elevated blood sugar when I did my first round of the bloodwork at four weeks pregnant. I was in touch with our diabetes clinic from around 10 weeks all the way until we had baby.
GD wasn’t fun to deal with through a full pregnancy but it was manageable. Most of my trauma comes from my experience with my OB. I’m in Canada, and had been with midwives. But once the GD came into play I had to be under the care of an OB as well as an Endo.
Around 27 weeks my OB felt I wasn’t gaining enough weight and so she did a quick ultrasound at her office at a routine appointment. She thought that baby was breech but we had so much time to go still so she wasn’t worried, told me baby so small still has lots of time to flip around and also baby was head down at the anatomy scan a 20 weeks.
Fast forward to 33 weeks and baby is still breech. You can probably guess where this is going. Due to having GD my team really wanted to have me induced at the 39 week mark. Baby was in the 50th percentile with no typical signs of GD so I wasn’t very concerned but my blood pressure was starting to elevate.
What really upsets me still is that no one made a big deal about baby being breech in the earlier we weeks even though they already knew, until it was 36 weeks and still breech. We attempted an ECV which failed. I did acupuncture, visited a chiropractor, swimming, spinning babies, the miles circuit - nothing worked.
I live in a major city with a really good women’s Hospital, so I decided to ask my OB if she might consider inducing me even though baby was breech. She said yes since baby was not measuring big and was in the correct breach position to attempt it. I was almost 38 weeks at this point. So I have my bags packed and expected a callto come at any point to go to the hospital to start the induction. The call never came and it’s now been five days since my last appointment.
My midwife called me to ask what the situation was and I explained to them that the OB and I had spoken and she had agreed to induce me even though I was breech. Two more days go by Zilna calls. My midwives are starting to worry so we try to get in touch with the OB to figure out what’s going on. They better find out that she has no intention of inducing me an order instead waiting for me to decide how long I wanted to continue being pregnant. I’m not one day away from 39 weeks and after a whole pregnancy of everyone worrying about diabetes and telling me I might have a stillbirth, I start to breakdown.
It is the holiday season and the OB told me that she has an opening the next day and then the calendar is booked up through the new year. We agree to the C-section because it feels like there are no other options anymore. I essentially cried the entire time leading up to the C-section, try through the C-section. They also didn’t get my weight and height correct somehow so I was given too much of a spinal block and was numb from like the shoulder down and it didn’t wear off for a full day.
I don’t really remember anything about the C-section beyond getting the spinal nor do I remember anything about being in the recovery room or our two day postpartum stay. I remember trying to baby breast-feed but just being so sad and so cold and so shaky and just so sad.
It’s been 15 months now and a lot of it has faded a little bit. I no longer cry thought of everything but it’s definitely still stings. At the point we don’t plan to have any more kids.
Therapy helps a lot and also just time. If my mama took me about seven months to connect with my baby who I am now obsessed with.

Hi loseit,
(Sorry for being a super new account with no post history. I've been lurking anonymously for ages and finally felt like posting.)
I've been struggling with my weight for years and last year I finally made some genuine progress. between July-January I lost 20 lbs (which may not seem like a lot but I'm very short and small framed so it made a huge difference on my figure).
what worked was getting treatment for depression. I went on an SNRI of which weight loss is also a side effect and it has worked wonders. I went from staying in my room and mostly my bed all day, struggling through a bs remote job to moving out of a toxic living environment, starting my dream job, meeting my boyfriend, and being much more active than ever before in my life. I barely had to think about weight loss and dieting to lose the 20lbs because I was always busy and just ate to keep myself going.
Between January and now I've backslid into unhealthy habits and regained 10 of those lbs. I'm so worried about this continuing the way it is because I just remember how much worse I felt at my SW and I'm already starting to feel that way again now. I want to intervene and get back on track to relose these 10lbs plus ideally 5-10 more after that.
It's been a few weeks of me trying to get back on track, and long story short things only got worse. I've been counting calories and I have no problem staying at 1400-1500 (~200 calorie deficit), getting steps in, and doing a few days of body weight strengthening every week. It's at about 9pm every night that I just become a demon and eat the most high calorie stuff I have access to at the moment. It doesn't even matter what it is -- last night was a tub of ice cream but the night before it was half a jar of natural peanut butter on unsalted rice cakes. I've eaten entire boxes of chocolates, but also cups and cups of no sugar added muesli with unsweetened almond milk. it's like my brain subconsciously identifies what in my house is the highest calorie, and fixates on it until I eat it.
I've heard a lot about "mental restriction" and thought my night binging could be a result of that, so I tried to have small portions of these high cal foods throughout the day and incorporate them into daytime meals. This hasn't worked at all. I've also heard of others just needing to eat more at night so I reduced my calories to about 700 leading up to dinner, leaving about 700-800 for a good sized meal. I'll eat the meal, then eat more afterwards anyway. I tried to have a preplanned small dessert. I just ate 6 more servings of it after. I tried getting rid of everything even mildly bingeable. I just binged on yogurt, oats, leftovers etc and even binged on my housemates food which was so, so embarrassing.
I feel like I have a demon inside of me that can outsmart all of my tactics to try and keep it at bay. I feel so defeated by my inability to maintain a diet and lose (or even just stop gaining) weight and I'm starting to notice my depression latching onto this feeling and making it harder to get up and do everything I need to do in a day, because every day seems to end in defeat no matter what I do. I wake up with anxiety because I know the day will likely play out just like yesterday and the days before.
I don't know how to turn this around. I know there HAS to be something that will work for me, but either I haven't found it yet or I'm not in the mindset to even give it a chance to work. Whatever it is, I feel like I need help right now. I just want to feel how I did a few months ago when weight loss felt like a breeze and I was closer than ever to where I want to be.
Has anyone been through this before, and what did you do to get out of it?

I’m trying to settle an argument.

39M, 16M NW fully liquid, but have made some of the worst investment decisions ever so that my IRR over the past 10 years is negative.
Have gained lot of perspective from discussions here.
Need some advice but first some context.
Got laid off job at 29. Was earning around 200k +options back then. Had just invested 400k all cash deal in a house back in home country as investment.
So at 30, I was without a job and 90% of my savings locked illiquid. The real estate firm went bankrupt. Not a single brick laid till date. Depression set in. Round one.
Tried looking for a job for 6 months but started reading on the side and got fascinated with a topic in public policy (negative effects of big tech). Over the next 2 years, worked on a book. Launched it at the age of 32. Wife's job kept us going but just about in VHCOL city.
Book became a bestseller and has crossed 1M copies now. Been on the speaking circuit 2015-19. Speaking fees started at early five figures and went close to 6 figures per speech just before covid.
Earning by year 2013: 0 2014: insignificant (5 figures) 2015: 1M 2016: 2.5M 2017: 3M 2018: 3.2M 2019: 3.9M
Covid happened and speaking circuit evaporated overnight. Went into identity crisis for 5 months. Round two.
Hadn't had time to invest till now because of breakneck growth. I know cash is trash but I was traveling 200 days a year on the speaking circuit.
Around mid of 2020, speaking still dried up but started seeing people make millions in the market.
Panicked about not having invested all these years. Jumped into the market. Bought 100k worth of index funds but they were growing at 10% while switching were growing 10x.
Fomo + greed set in. I had to make up for years of idle cash.
Long story short, I had put in 5M into stocks by Nov 2021. This had grown to 9M (huge positions in Asana, Snow, Zm, Tsla, Rblx etc). I kept on pumping but just held waiting for party to continue. I felt I had found my second act. Everything was turning to gold. That has today fallen to 1.8M. Everything from COIN to OPEN. No diversification. Didn't exit anything because, well, buy and hold.
Went into depression for a few months. Round three.
Got my act together early 2022. Decided to reinvent from traveling keynote speaker to remote consultant and boards. Helps spend more time with the kid. Built a huge network from speaking days and personal brand + continuing book sales help.
Income since covid 2020: 500K (Big drop compared to previous years) 2021: 1M 2022: 4M (with new board + consultant model)
Finally started going more into index funds 2022 onwards but still in the red with that as well.
I'm trying to get my act together now. Need some advice here (and perhaps just some psychological help)

1. I have always loved what I do and still do. So plan to still continue. But I can't get over the money I lost in the market which I may never recover. Also cant forgive myself for not investing all those years. But I was too scared to lose everything again the way I did.with my real estate investment. Wanted peace of mind through principal protection.

Essentially I have been the worst investor over the past decade. How do I forgive myself for that? I sit up nights sometime thinking about where I could have reached had I just done indexfunds.

1. How do I invest now? Yes cash was trash, but its giving me 4-5% now while my stocks are a lost cause. How do I start diversifying with around 10+M cash still available and adding 200-300k every month to it.
   
2. I'm not interested in RE. But the fear of losing it all again like I did at 30 keeps coming back especially after losing money on shit stocks in 2021. How do I fix that?
   
3. I still can't spend freely without counting even for sub 100 dollar amounts because I keep blaming myself for the money lost.
   

Essentially, how have you guys got over bad money decisions? And what should I do going forward to get it right?
Any and all advice appreciated. Thanks for listening.

This is the best tl;dr I could make, original reduced by 51%. (I'm a bot)

Nicola Sturgeon has issued a "Sincere, heartfelt and unreserved" apology to people affected by the practice of forced adoption.
Thousands of unmarried women in Scotland were forced to give up their babies for adoption in the 1950s, 60s and 70s. The first minister told Holyrood it was time to "Acknowledge the terrible wrongs that have been done".
Some children forcibly removed from their parents as a result of forced adoption were abused, Ms Sturgeon told MSPs. She added: "It is important to say very clearly that many of them went to loving homes - acknowledging these injustices should never be seen as a rejection of the deep bonds that people share with adopted families."Nothing can ever invalidate the love that these families have for one another.
Addressing MSPs in the Holyrood chamber as victims and campaigners watched on from the public gallery, Ms Sturgeon said forced adoption "Is a level of injustice which is hard now for us to comprehend".
Fiona Aitken, director of the Adoption UK Scotland charity, said: "We wholeheartedly support the apology for those who had their children removed and are particularly pleased to see this extend to the individuals who were adopted through this practice, whose lifelong needs have gone unacknowledged and unsupported."Adoption UK now calls on other UK governments to follow Scotland's lead in issuing a formal apology to all those who have been affected by forced adoptions, and to meet the needs of all adopted individuals who would benefit from support.
In 2013, Australia issued the world's first government formal apology for forced adoption, taking responsibility for the practice.

Summary Source FAQ Feedback Top keywords: apology^#1 adoption^#2 forced^#3 women^#4 Scotland^#5
Post found in /worldnews.
NOTICE: This thread is for discussing the submission topic. Please do not discuss the concept of the autotldr bot here.

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This has been a pretty dramatic week for my 15 year old male cat, Lynk. Lynk has been diagnosed with diabetes back in Oct 2021 and it’s been a learning experience for us. Lynk was NEVER an overweight cat and we had been feeding him a diet that had low/no carbs leading up to the diagnosis, so the cause was likely just age/that males cats are more prone to it and he got unlucky. Last week, Lynk started having seizures and he had all the physical symptoms of hypoglycaemia even though the blood glucose samples we took didn’t measure low enough for the vets or the hospital to believe it was severe enough to cause the seizures; however, they did find that he had pancreatitis and started treatment for it. He spent 4 days at the hospital and is home now, and while we are doing 3-4 blood checks on him daily since he has been home, his levels have been all over the place. Yesterday, he was over 19 at 6am, we gave 2 units of lantus, and by noon he had dropped to 4.8. I fed him some diabetic food immediately and raised it to 7.5 an hour after that reading. We did not give any more insulin until this morning when his blood was at 15 and we only gave 1 unit, per the take-home instructions and discussions we had previously had with the hospital. So, I have a couple of questions that I hope a professional who has a lot of experience treating diabetic cats can give some context to me on:
1) I know my little guy is going to be very sensitive to insulin right now, how long does that usually last after a hypo episode? 2) the clinic couldn’t comment on the relationship between hypo/diabetes/pancreatitis and the seizures he was having… they watched him for 4 days and concluded that they believed his threshold for seizures had been lowered because of his critical condition and not another cause like a tumour. I’m wondering if anyone has seen this before? I’m watching him like a hawk because I’m so scared that he could have another seizure and the clinic recommended against starting any sort of anti-seizure meds… i’d be scared to do that anyways right now because I need to know if he’s in any distress with low blood sugar and his pancreatitis.
My regular vet says that we should do a curve in about a week so that’s the plan, and then she will recommend if we re-check for pancreatitis to see if it’s cleared up. So in the meantime, I just need to understand if I’m overreacting or if this situation is normal after this type of incident? I would love to hear any feedback.

Should I send him this?
Long post again…
He hurt me pretty badly. I miss what we had but I I don’t feel the urge to write him or be in contact with him. We weren’t official. He wasn’t ready, but what he did hurt me deeply.
Context: He left me hanging for 2 weeks after we had a conversation about the future of our relationship: go our separate ways or become officially Bf/gf. We’d had similar conversations before, but he always stopped short of going the next step. Because of that I had already ended things with him twice before. It was left up in the air again but with the understanding we'd continue the conversation later on, because this time we were no longer long distance (USA-Germany). This time, I had found a job and had moved to Germany.
Well, he ghosted me, leaving me to wonder why he had disappeared. Turns out, instead of letting me know what’s up, he pursued other women—smiling for influencers on Instagram. Then I stumbled upon a post of his in a Facebook neighborhood group where he was trying to find a girl he had seen walk by while his workplace. He made this post during the 2 weeks ghosting period. I confronted him with it by taking a screenshot of it, texting it to him and dying thank you for your honesty. Then I blocked him.
He wrote a letter to explain himself, but it was full of justifications and lacked any kind of awareness and ownership for the hurt he had caused. Basically, he didn’t betray me. I was the last woman he had kissed, we weren’t officially together, he’s Not hopelessly in love with me, he has a clear conscience, plus the usual about his fear of this, that and the other, not having time for a relationship, not being sure where it would lead and not knowing if “that something that’s missing” boils down to him or me. Ok, but where was this letter in the days that followed our last talk? I responded by stating what had hurt me—him leaving me hanging for 2 weeks, fully aware of his realization and not telling me; leaving me to discover the reason behind his pulling away on my own. I then went no contact until December. We saw each other twice in December in group settings, because I’m “friends” with his friends and they invited me. I thought this would be an opportunity for him to apologize in person. Zilch. Nothing happened. Instead, contact was reinitiated without him ever mentioning what had happened and that bothered me. I started taking distance, but every now end then, he’d pop up randomly every few weeks or so with low effort texts, and it would irritate me, because I don’t don’t want to cultivate a friendship with him or any former relationship. I don’t believe in that and he knows where I stand with that topic.
In January, after he’d sent me a follow request on Instagram after +-2 weeks or our contact dying down, I was irritated and called him but kept my composure. I told him that it bothered me that contact was reinitiated and we’d seen each other twice without having a conversation about the obvious. It’s like it never happened. He didn’t seem to understand why the topic should be broached as everything had already been addressed in our letters to each other. In the end I told him via text I was done with going through the same cycle and patterns—same problem, different day. I didn’t want to have to explain my pain all over again nor have to beg for an apology. I said we should use this experience to learn from it. This was my way of peacing out and moving on. He then responded by saying everything has been said—that last (incomplete) conversation last summer and our letters. He holds our memories in high esteem, but said he’s staying single for now. (No one asked him about that, but ok). Well the context less popping up with random texts every few weeks or so didn’t stop. This time I hadn’t blocked him anywhere, he could still see my stories or just text for no reason.
This past weekend, he texted to comment on my profile pic on WhatsApp. I ignored it. Te next day, he messaged me to ask if I could write a Google review for his art, the earrings he made me. I said ok, I’ll do it. I haven’t. I was busy crafting this letter. What do you think? Sorry if the wording sounds odd. I wrote it in German (he’s German) then translated in English on Deepl to share with you.
Independent from what happened last summer, which hurt me a lot, due to our history, I don't want to maintain a friendship. I do not think much of friendships after dating, with exes, etc. For me it is enough to part respectfully and on good terms.
Despite everything, I continued interacting with you in a positive way, to give you the opportunity to start a conversation at any time; i.e. "the way I dealt with things wasn’t right.....", without justification and done. Discussing single status had nothing to do with it.
It was important for me, to know and hear that you understood. Precisely because, according to your letter, you were apparently unaware of any wrongdoing or hurt. And precisely because the last letter came from me. In it I described exactly what had hurt me—you disappearing for 2 weeks without clueing me in after our conversation that stayed up in the air- and what followed. Even in our last phone conversation, I noticed that you didn't think it was necessary or important to address it in person to clear things up. After that, I didn't see the point of having to explain the obvious. Hence my message of January.
Since there was no dialogue after the December reunion and beyond, and messages from you arrive from time to time, I do have to express it. Not addressing it would continue to understate and normalize the behavior of last summer and the handling of this issue when this was anything but normal, respectful and considerate.
Since no dialogue ever took place when contact was reinitiated or upon seeing each other again in December, and because you check in from time to time for whatever reason, I had to express it after all. Not addressing the issue would normalize, trivialize this behavior when it is anything but normal, respectful or considerate.”

I’m at a loss. Is this common in relationships? We hit it off really well at the start and dated for about 5 months. Everything was seemingly perfect. She came across as smart, considerate, sweet. She’s a babysitter to these two sweet kids that I met along the process and grew to love as I would come over the house and cook and play games with them. During that time this woman introduced me to her entire family, best friends, we spent holidays together. She says I was the first to have ever been introduced to her family.
She is from Kenya as well, so I understand that meeting family is a big deal. Everything was going seemingly well, with her texting “I love you” every single day, writing me letters, flowers, with her even mentioning marriage & kids first. I always made sure to return her energy - followed her lead every step of the way. Was so emotionally (and even financially) invested. Even got an apartment in her city to be closer.
She is a full time student with 2 years left of studies, and I was also busy traveling a lot. I did notice she was busy at points and always told her I completely understood. I noticed she seemed more tired and not as present, and she sensed I knew something felt off. But I told her I understood she was probably overwhelmed and didn’t need to worry. Then the very next day she calls me saying she “doesn’t think she’s capable of loving me the same” and that “she can’t give me the love that I deserve”.
Then proceeds to say “I really liked you but I don’t think I was ever in love with you. I know it’s fucked up and it’s nothing you did or could’ve done. I’m extremely confused myself and honestly will need some deep soul searching.”
I was at a loss, and asked if she was sure about this and if I would need to move on, but she was crying and bawling her eyes out so much saying she “had no idea” and “couldn’t give me an answer right now”
Obviously I questioned her on everything and asked if the dates and moments we experienced were ever real to her. She then says “the moments were great but we experienced them on different levels.”
How am I supposed to interpret this?
I felt stuck waiting to hear her answer and tried to allow her space to “reflect” but wasn’t sure on how to proceed. I kept thinking “Should I wait to hear this answer or leave? Do women do this often? Why go so far to deceive me if she truly never meant it? Unless it’s just a phase that I’m unaware of…
Things did heat up fast I would say. But I felt pushed further because she would suddenly say things like “I see you being the father of my children” and then also writing these really romantic letters saying how much she loved me and how special of a love that I gave, etc. She would sometimes send videos of people growing old together saying that this was us.
Although, I do think immaturity is a big part of it actually, that makes sense. I returned her energy because although it was a lot, I felt I had really strong feelings for her and realized how much I wanted to be with her - so even if it was soon, I wasn’t opposed to the ideas at all.
As for how I was financially invested, was because we were kind of long distance in a way and I had to pay to travel to see her. I was pushed to get the apartment because her best friend was having suicidal thoughts and she said she really needed me there more than ever. She pushed me to make that move and really directed me to doing so about 3 months into our relationship.
As of yesterday she decided to block me on everything. It was strange because we decided to kind of leave space but I couldn’t sense how she was feeling throughout it (no texts or communication). We had planned a trip together while we were dating that was still upcoming and she had a final come up and wasn’t able to make it. I decided to still go on my own even though it was originally supposed to be for us together.
I didn’t know whether to continue to leave her space so when I came to town and didn’t tell her, there was this anger from her in me not telling her, which was strange because she insisted on leaving space. I just started noticing that her requests and expectations would sometimes be vague or very confusing.
She told all of her friends (that I met through her) about the breakup and the friends all called me directly to check on how I was holding up - but later she got mad at this saying I crossed the boundary by getting her friends involved - when she was the one that told them we broke up.
Her final message was that I couldn’t respect her boundaries with her friends, and her space, and that she “never looked at me the same ever since I accused her of deceiving me or using me for my emotional and financial investment” and she didn’t even allow me an opportunity to talk in my own defense. Which to me was strange out of all the times I listened to her side of things after she basically said to me she never loved me.
So now she’s completely cut contact and I’m totally at a loss. I’m pretty much guessing her friends might be also thinking this is weird behavior. I’m not sure what to make of this… what am I supposed to do now?
TL;DR Me (23M) and my girlfriend (22F) had a seemingly amazing relationship and then she suddenly pulled away crying and confused. Then the tears slowly turned to feeling sad for hurting me to somehow resentment (me being the bad guy) and she had a complete sudden change of heart.

Long post again…
He hurt me pretty badly. I miss what we had but I I don’t feel the urge to write him or be in contact with him. We weren’t official. He wasn’t ready, but what he did hurt me deeply.
Context: He left me hanging for 2 weeks after we had a conversation about the future of our relationship: go our separate ways or become officially Bf/gf. We’d had similar conversations before, but he always stopped short of going the next step. Because of that I had already ended things with him twice before. It was left up in the air again but with the understanding we'd continue the conversation later on, because this time we were no longer long distance (USA-Germany). This time, I had found a job and had moved to Germany.
Well, he ghosted me, leaving me to wonder why he had disappeared. Turns out, instead of letting me know what’s up, he pursued other women—smiling for influencers on Instagram. Then I stumbled upon a post of his in a Facebook neighborhood group where he was trying to find a girl he had seen walk by while his workplace. He made this post during the 2 weeks ghosting period. I confronted him with it by taking a screenshot of it, texting it to him and dying thank you for your honesty. Then I blocked him.
He wrote a letter to explain himself, but it was full of justifications and lacked any kind of awareness and ownership for the hurt he had caused. Basically, he didn’t betray me. I was the last woman he had kissed, we weren’t officially together, he’s Not hopelessly in love with me, he has a clear conscience, plus the usual about his fear of this, that and the other, not having time for a relationship, not being sure where it would lead and not knowing if “that something that’s missing” boils down to him or me. Ok, but where was this letter in the days that followed our last talk? I responded by stating what had hurt me—him leaving me hanging for 2 weeks, fully aware of his realization and not telling me; leaving me to discover the reason behind his pulling away on my own. I then went no contact until December. We saw each other twice in December in group settings, because I’m “friends” with his friends and they invited me. I thought this would be an opportunity for him to apologize in person. Zilch. Nothing happened. Instead, contact was reinitiated without him ever mentioning what had happened and that bothered me. I started taking distance, but every now end then, he’d pop up randomly every few weeks or so with low effort texts, and it would irritate me, because I don’t don’t want to cultivate a friendship with him or any former relationship. I don’t believe in that and he knows where I stand with that topic.
In January, after he’d sent me a follow request on Instagram after +-2 weeks or our contact dying down, I was irritated and called him but kept my composure. I told him that it bothered me that contact was reinitiated and we’d seen each other twice without having a conversation about the obvious. It’s like it never happened. He didn’t seem to understand why the topic should be broached as everything had already been addressed in our letters to each other. In the end I told him via text I was done with going through the same cycle and patterns—same problem, different day. I didn’t want to have to explain my pain all over again nor have to beg for an apology. I said we should use this experience to learn from it. This was my way of peacing out and moving on. He then responded by saying everything has been said—that last (incomplete) conversation last summer and our letters. He holds our memories in high esteem, but said he’s staying single for now. (No one asked him about that, but ok). Well the context less popping up with random texts every few weeks or so didn’t stop. This time I hadn’t blocked him anywhere, he could still see my stories or just text for no reason.
This past weekend, he texted to comment on my profile pic on WhatsApp. I ignored it. Te next day, he messaged me to ask if I could write a Google review for his art, the earrings he made me. I said ok, I’ll do it. I haven’t. I was busy crafting this letter. What do you think? Sorry if the wording sounds odd. I wrote it in German (he’s German) then translated in English on Deepl to share with you.
Independent from what happened last summer, which hurt me a lot, due to our history, I don't want to maintain a friendship. I do not think much of friendships after dating, with exes, etc. For me it is enough to part respectfully and on good terms.
Despite everything, I continued interacting with you in a positive way, to give you the opportunity to start a conversation at any time; i.e. "the way I dealt with things wasn’t right.....", without justification and done. Discussing single status had nothing to do with it.
It was important for me, to know and hear that you understood. Precisely because, according to your letter, you were apparently unaware of any wrongdoing or hurt. And precisely because the last letter came from me. In it I described exactly what had hurt me—you disappearing for 2 weeks without clueing me in after our conversation that stayed up in the air- and what followed. Even in our last phone conversation, I noticed that you didn't think it was necessary or important to address it in person to clear things up. After that, I didn't see the point of having to explain the obvious. Hence my message of January.
Since there was no dialogue after the December reunion and beyond, and messages from you arrive from time to time, I do have to express it. Not addressing it would continue to understate and normalize the behavior of last summer and the handling of this issue when this was anything but normal, respectful and considerate.
Since no dialogue ever took place when contact was reinitiated or upon seeing each other again in December, and because you check in from time to time for whatever reason, I had to express it after all. Not addressing the issue would normalize, trivialize this behavior when it is anything but normal, respectful or considerate.”

Please use this thread to ask for help with your auditions. Try to add as many relevant details as possible; age, gender, comedy/serious, vocal range, etc. For those adding answers, writing the names of the suggestions in bold is nice, to make it easier for people skimming the thread to pick out the suggestions.

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Just to be clear before I start; this is not a troll post. This is not me trying to be a jerk. This is an honest and real critique of how a once captivating hour of story telling has turned into a messy, amateurish, low grade copy of The View. Long time listener, first time poster who is hoping someone over at Wondery sees this and is smart enough to look into it to protect their investment.
I know it is well known that Ash and Alaina have stopped reading this subreddit. Maybe it's time they come back and take their listeners criticism a little more seriously. I cannot see the listener base continuing to grow with it's current state of "content." What was once a race to my car in the morning to hear the next gripping story of True Crime, has turned into a daily quest to find a replacement podcast. Here are my reasons why:
1. Alaina
Something has changed with Alaina. I use to think of her as this super awesome autopsy technician who couldn't wait to get home and sit behind her computer at night in the light of candles, crafting well constructed stories of true crime with mixes of her expertise, to fuel the tales of real life nightmares. Ash was great too, but Alaina WAS Morbid. I used to be "slightly" let down when it was Ash's turn to lead an episode. Nothing against Ash, I just always thought of Alaina as the brains behind Morbid while appreciating Ash chiming in with her fun quirky comments. Fast Forward to NOW...that has changed. Ash knows how to move the story along. Alaina sits there and constantly complains, giving off a vibe of having added nothing to the story.
Here are the things she is doing that is hurting the podcast:
- Degrading every single murderer - We get it, these are bad people. Are they disgusting, pieces of shit, pimple faced, puddles of puke, loser, scumbag, idiots? I'm sure they are, but do we need to be reminded of it 25 times every story? We get it. She repeats this stuff over and over and over...often in the same episode. Then... every victim is the best person on this earth. They are all ALWAYS the kindest, smartest, loving person ever born. How do you know? I get it, it sucks they fell victim to a serial killer, but we don't need 20 minutes on how they would rival Mother Theresa.
- Negative Nancy - Everything sucks, Disney sucks, I hate everything, yada yada yada. I WANT to LIKE her. She is going from being this awesome, interesting, intelligent person to being someone I want to avoid at all cost. A host of a show is supposed to ATTRACT an audience, not push them away.
2. Going Off Topic
Let me start by saying it is OK to have some chit chat at the beginning of the episode. I like getting little tidbits of their "off the air" life. I like hearing about their families and interests....but it is starting to get excessive. I mean like "holy shit" excessive. The show is turning into The View. The off topic banter is being messily woven in and out of the main story at an alarmingly increased rate. It is becoming almost impossible to follow the story.
- Most Episodes I am 25+ minutes in and don't even know what is happening - This isn't a one time complaint. This is starting to become every episode. One moment we are talking about finding a body with multiple stab wounds, then the next moment we are talking about someone getting caught cheating on BRAVO TV for 10 minutes. It is messy. It is disengaging. It is infuriating. I find myself rewinding episodes back 5 minutes because I think I might have drifted off my attention and missed something. Then I realize I didn't. It's just a jumbled messy flow to the story. Everyone that is listening to this podcast is a fan of true crime, but not everyone that listens to this podcast is a fan of some reality show on Bravo TV. They are losing the audiences attention. Imagine watching an NFL Football game and after a few plays, out of nowhere, right in the middle of an exciting play, the quarterback turned to the camera randomly and started talking about his favorite baking recipes for 10 minutes. It's ruining the flow of the story.
3. Special Guest
What is so special about these guest? What do they have to do with the story? 99% of the time, NOTHING. It is annoying. They devalue your show....unless...and hear me out...they ACTUALLY have something to do with the story. Special guest should be...I don't know....SPECIAL?! Maybe bring on a detective that worked on the case, a survivor of the murderer, an author of a book that made the case famous. THINK. What if I had a podcast that talked about Disney movies and my special guest was the creator of Red Bull energy drink. There's no reason for it.
4. Ruining The Story Flow
Alaina has this habit of telling you the outcome of a major plot point in the beginning of a story instead of when it actually happens. There has been quite a few episodes where within the first 10 minutes of the story she says something like "Don't worry, this victim survived" or "They never solved this case."
- I don't want to know that before I even hear what happened- Wouldn't it be more a more compelling story to learn that after all the shit the victim went through, they actually survived? I don't want to know that up front. It removes all emotional impact to the victims story. Wouldn't it be more of a "WFT!!" moment to learn that the killer is still out there and has avoided being captured to this day, instead of knowing that at the beginning of the story? They are removing the emotional impact of their own story-telling. We get it, these are real people with sad stories and NOT just created for our entertainment... but this is what your podcast is about. Real stories. Real people. Real horror. They are cheapening the actual "TRUE CRIME" of the story by not leaving the listener with a gut punch that makes us realize that this is real and horrible and we need to take better precautions so this has less of a chance of happening again.
- Not telling details of the story because it involves kids or is too brutal. Hey, here is a story about 3 kids that were murdered, only we aren't going to tell you anything about it because I don't like kids being murdered. Ok, cool. Then maybe don't tell this story. Maybe this story isn't for you. If I couldn't stomach and didn't want to support products with child labor issues, I wouldn't open a Nike shoe store. If I don't agree with add preservatives and chemicals into my food, I wouldn't open up a junk food store.
5. Hiring Researchers For Stories and multiple new podcasts
It has been mentioned that they hired someone (David?) to research material for stories. The Morbid we all got hooked on was the product of Alaina and Ash crafting the stories from their own personality. Once they went to Wondery they started taking on other podcasts and their time was spread out over several projects. Bad move if you ask me.
- Most times I feel like the girls are hearing this story for the first time, or have quickly browsed the notes and are just reading from a script they did not write themselves. Maybe I'm wrong, but you can definitely tell that the writing has taken a nose dive. There is a major difference in crafting a story from your own research versus telling a story based on someone else's research. Often times the "heart" is just not there. The little tidbits and nuances you gather from putting the story together yourself just is what makes the story your own. Making these stories their own was what MORBID once was and the reason they drew in listeners. Listeners were sucked into Alaina's way of telling the story. Now it feels like Alaina and Ash are telling someone else's story.
- All these new podcasts. I'll admit I've only listened to their horror review podcast SCREAM! I love horror movies and I love reviews of horror movies. This particular podcast is not very good. There is very little flow. Once again, I'm sure I sound negative here, but I am not trying to be. It just seems like they traded in 1 Amazing podcast for 5 mediocre podcasts. Time is valuable and it is obviously being spread too thin.
6. Quality of Listener Tales
Listener Tales were always a much needed "break" from the horrific stories being told through their regular episodes. They were a chance to "breathe" and a way to connect on a more personal level with their audience. Often times giving the listeners the feeling of being a part of the community. The only problem is that the quality of the listener tales turned from really cool stories to utter bullshit.
- Listener Tales started to sound like fake stories people submitted just to get on the air. The stories began as mini tales of crazy and interesting experiences from their listeners that were probably the reason the listener had interest in Morbid's material in the first place. Over time the stories felt like they were made up and complete bull shit. Ash and Alaina had to play nice and made it clear they believed every single thing that happened without even questioning some ridiculous claims. They were like "oh man, it must have been crazy seeing 3 ghost clowns in your room. I would have moved" instead of skipping over the story altogether because the reality of 3 ghost clowns being in someone's room is probably close to zero.
- Limiting listener tales to once a month. This is good. They need to scan these listener stories for ones that actually make for good story telling and use ONLY those. Skip over the ones that sound like a 10 year old made it up on the spot just to get on the podcast.
In conclusion:
Like I said when I started this post, I am not writing this to be mean. I am not trolling the podcast. I an genuinely concerned about the quality of the podcast AS I am a huge fan of the show. The quality of the "current state" of how Morbid is presented is not strong enough to grow the listener base. It's just not. The story telling isn't strong enough to set Morbid apart from other True Crime podcast. Maybe less is good. Less off topic discussion. Less non relevant special guest. Less of having other people research and craft your stories. Less side project podcasts.
Also, I have grown to look forward to episodes where Ash tells the story. She has definitely stepped up and can tell a good story. I think by cutting down on some of the items I brushed on in this post, Morbid can ONCE AGAIN become a focused, enthralling leader in the world of True Crime podcast. But in its current state, Morbid needs help.

Hey y’all, my name is Sebastien Hale, I’m 26 years old, and I’m looking to start a folk rock band. I currently produce all of my own music, so I’m looking for some help working up a few old songs, and writing some new ones.
I’m looking for people who are ages 22-30, LGBTQ+ friendly, located near the Roswell area (Alpharetta, Marietta, Sandy Springs), and available to practice on the weekends.
I would like to focus on vocals and mandolin/keys, so I need electric and acoustic guitar, bass and drums. I usually write solos and lead type stuff on the mandolin, so just need rhythm guitar.
I have put together the four songs that I would like to work up, and really focus on. We can work on acoustic stuff also, but probably just in new material.
Songs
My influences are kind of all over the board, but for the folky vibe I like The Decemberists and Mumford & Sons. Others include: Evanescence, Halestorm, Sleeping With Sirens, Pierce The Veil, Paramore, MCR, and lots of others.
Send me a message or email me at [email protected] if you’re interested. Thanks!