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Noah's Ark
2019.05.11 05:38 Nardo318 Noah's Ark
Give God a reason to send the flood. https://discord.gg/u3Wehzt
2015.05.11 18:16 smashT ARK: Survival Evolved
Ark: Survival Evolved Subreddit Post anything to do with Ark Survival Evolved!
2013.04.28 18:55 Jdibs77 Awesome Car Mods
A subreddit devoted to car modifications that are awesome. This subreddit is pretty simple, the title says it all.
2023.06.01 01:27 WillProbablyJustLurk Lithium
My psychiatrist just prescribed me lithium. I took it once before as a young teenager, back when I had only been diagnosed with depression and anxiety, and don’t remember much about that time period due to my dissociative disorder. (I think I stopped taking it because I hated getting my blood drawn so frequently.)
Since I don’t remember much about what it was like to take lithium, I wanted to ask for advice. If you are taking lithium or have taken it in the past, what was it like? What side effects should I expect? Did it help you at all?
(I know everyone’s body is different, and that a medication can affect people in different ways, but I just wanted to get a general feel for what to expect while taking it.)
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2023.06.01 01:27 Ok-Background2505 Triggered my partner and idk how to move forward
I’ll try to keep this short. My and my partner joke around a lot together, with very (imo) obscene jokes and playful jabs at one another. Such examples is saying I’m smelly in my crotch area, saying we were texting our “bitches”, and so on. So I made a joke to someone that I wear a condom because “who knows what’s up there”.
My gf has had an abusive relationship in the past, so she took this joke (which is very in-line with how we joke) as me calling her dirty. Understandably, this joke triggered her, and I realize there was no way I could have known that it was a trigger prior.
She said she didn’t want me texting her and to not come over to see her this week, so I said if that’s what helps then I’ll support it so it can help her through this. She then said I wasn’t even trying to make an effort.
Now for my backstory: I have bad Generalized Anxiety Disorder, and what pushed her over the edge during arguments was me trying to immediately talk to address the issue, whereas she is the type where she needs space to calm down and address it calmer. So, her comment saying I wasn’t giving effort blew me up because it takes all my effort to try and not address stuff immediately and I’ve addressed this in therapy many times for us.
We spoke some more and reiterated I wasn’t going anywhere due to this, just like I haven’t any other times she got triggered. And whatever she needs I’ll support it. But so far she’s left me on Read for the whole day and truly she’s never talked to me at all, which she’s never done. I’m worried this may be the end and I feel guilty for letting triggered-her get under my skin as well.
How do I move forward? Do I give her space until she messages again? Send reassurances even if she doesn’t reply? It’s never been this bad. Thank you for the help everyone
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2023.06.01 01:27 Femboy_Pride If Necromancy works out... Summoning rework, please?
It's supposed to be a combat skill but you train it like a crafting skill. It should be that you get exp in the skill by actually summoning stuff and doing combat or skilling with it. Instead you just run between a bank and an obelisk thousands of times until you max. Wow much fun.
Charm gathering is awful and simply not fun either. 90% of summons are dead content if not more. Making Summoning a proper combat skill would revitalize it and give an use to all those lower level familiars that are never worth bringing. Outside of the high level summons, the damage and utility you get is pointless. Skilling summons are a bit more useful but again, you dont even train the skill by using your summons... you just craft. Makes no sense.
Imagine familiars actually being useful and worth using in combat for damage no matter the level, and having more ways to actually use your summons in combat besides auto attacks and the occasional scroll special. Training the skill would actually be fun then.
Imagine Necromancy ended up being stronger in terms of dps and utility than the main 3 combat skills, you could let Summoning close the gap. Let's say we disallow Necromancers from using summons, Melee Ranged and Magic would have that edge that keeps them relevant and that lets them keep up. Some people are worried that Necromancy would end up becoming meta, and to me this sounds like a fantastic way of balancing things.
and just like Magic (and Necromancy) that have both combat and non-combat uses, you could choose between training summoning by bringing familiars in combat, or earning passive summoning exp by bringing them along for your skilling sessions. Or like Invention where you can level via combat or skilling. Player choice is always fun.
Remove charm drops from monster drops, the skill should've never been tied to Slayer like this to begin with. You'll need way less charms to level to 99 anyway so there's no point in them being so abundant. Do something cool with the spirit realm instead, let us commune and earn charms through various activities in there instead. I don't have specific ideas but I'm sure Jagex can figure something out. Replace scrolls with a different type of resource, or make it so they can be obtained another way that doesn't rely on charms. Maybe, let spirit shards be the main currency within the spirit realm (still keep the same 25gp constant value) and you have to spend shards to make summons work, and to power their special abilities? idk, just an idea.
There's so much potential to make Summoning an actually good combat skill, instead of the runecrafting 2 that it currently is.
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2023.06.01 01:27 Ok-Magician-1645 Just going through a hard time right now but I know I'll be okay
The situation I'm going through right now would have hospitalized me. I have scars to of times similar situations nearly have. But now I'm back in this situation and I don't feel like I have to hurt myself or that the best solution would be to not be alive. I've come a long way from that person I used to be and I'm proud. My meds definitely doing their job but I also have a pretty good reason to live and I still deserve to be happy. It gets better trust me. Eventually the things that put a hole in your soul only just scratch the surface. I'll be okay and so will all you sending out lots of love
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2023.06.01 01:27 SpookyFunko Best settings for Sony UBP-X800M2?
I have this 4k player, but I want to know the best settings for it, so I can watch films in the best way. If anyone knows anything about the player, please let me know.
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2023.06.01 01:27 Listen_mode fun movie game
I have always had a wierd useless ability that was probally honed by parents that would constantly switch channels at a rapid pace on cable. I can tell what movie is on just by a single random screen, it doesn't have to be a screenshot of one of the main characters, it could be just the side of a building or an interior shot with no people. It really is one of the most useless gifts a person can have.
For example, my friend was flipping through channels and I saw just a screenshot of a dog, and knew right away it was from the 80's film "Lost Boys", and the funny thing is if you would have asked me if that movie has a dog in it, I would not have remembered.
Anyways I bring this up because if you have Amazon Prime they have this cool game where you have to guess the movie from a partial screen shot, the shot expands further if you don't get it right on the intial guess. If you have this useless ability like myself its a fun game.
anyways I thought some other people on
movies would like the game. I am in no way affiliated with Amazon or the game developers or anything. I just really enjoy the game and thought some of you might as well.
...and not to humble brag but I did get it on my first guess.
Framed Bonus #21
🎥 🟩 ⬛ ⬛ ⬛ ⬛ ⬛
https://framed.wtf/prime submitted by
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2023.06.01 01:27 sudomatrix My theory: they are in a hell for people who don’t communicate
That’s it. These are all people especially chosen to be trapped in a hell for stupid people who cannot communicate with each other. There are a dozen ways to get out but they all require cooperation and communication. The Island sorry the village gives them each a clue that doesn’t work without all the clues together. Then the village and monsters laugh it up like we might laugh at a dog chasing his own tail.
Or the writers are bad. That’s my other theory.
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2023.06.01 01:26 IPreferBenjamin NPBD
| Long write-up - beware… (and apologies for mobile formatting) After almost 2 decades of playing and at least 5 years of trying out and collecting pedals as a recording engineer, I finally put together a board for personal use and songwriting. I haven’t written a song for myself or played in a band in a decade now, so it’s time to change that. I grabbed a Temple Duo 17 and the sizing is perfect for my needs and it feels super well built. I might grab another for my bass rig once I curate my signal chain a little further. I wouldn’t go any smaller though… I wear size 14s and everything is already bordering on too close together for me. Signal chain: Assortment of single coil Fender guitars -> TC Polytune 2 Noir tuner -> Fortin Zuul noise suppressor (under the board) -> Xotix SP compressor -> Chase Bliss MOOD MkII in mono as a dirty reverb and weird noise generator -> 1981 Inventions DRV distortion/boost -> Greer Lightspeed overdrive -> Black Mass 1312 distortion -> Walrus Julianna stereo chorus -> Strymon Timeline delay -> Strymon BigSky reverb -> Vox AC30/Fender Pro Reverb in stereo Why Polytune? Small, replaceable, easy to see Why Zuul? ISP decimator wouldn’t fit, works fine Why SP? It was between that and my modified DynaComp, but ultimately the form factor won me over. Feel-wise I actually prefer the MXR, but in blind testing with a re-amped loop they sounded equally good, so I’m not complaining Why MOOD? Mostly for experimenting with it. I’ve never got on with microloopers or granular stuff, but the MkI sounded cool in demos and I thought I’d try it out. I’m still not convinced, but having an early-chain reverb is fun and I’ve been having some fun tweaking it with my re-amped loops. This might get replaced by my tried and true Source Audio C4 synth pedal if I can’t gel with it in live context Why DRV? I love this thing. It’s the best boost pedal I’ve ever played. It’s so easy to dial in the top end, which my Jazzmaster is grateful for. I don’t usually run the gain super high, but it still sounds great when I do. This went up against an Xotic EP boost for an always on pushed clean sound and won out, although I still love the EP for slightly dirtier stuff, especially into my AC30 Why Lightspeed? Kinda shameless on this one… it went up against a JHS Steak & Eggs, Keeley Super Phat Mod and the MXR Timmy, and between you and me the Timmy won with the Greer in a close second. I couldn’t stand the look of the mini pedal amongst the bigger ones so went with my second choice while I wait to get my hands on a full size Timmy. It does sound fantastic, just sparkly enough and lovely smooth gain structure, so I’m not mad. I chose a transparent overdrive for this build, but l might go with a color overdrive like my Tumnus, Special Cranker, Plumes or Cusack Screamer V2 instead depending on how my sound develops Why 1312 (or why 2 Rat circuits)? Firstly, I can’t help but support this company. I appreciate what they do, and the 1312 is a baller Rat-style pedal to boot. Tons of gain, super tweakable, and fit perfectly on the board. Secondly, despite it being based on the same basic circuit as the DRV they are totally different sounding pedals. It doesn’t clean up as well, but in LED mode is just the sound I’m looking for in a high-gain pedal. I had this up against a JHS Overdrive Preamp, DBA Fuzz War and a Behringer SF300, and while I love the Fuzz War to death, it’s so big that running it meant giving up another slot on the board Why Julianna? It’s tied for the spot with my friend’s Chase Bliss Warped Vinyl Hi-Fi, but the inclusion of stereo outs gives me better signal routing options. I previously used my Strymon Mobius for everything modulation related, but I usually only use chorus or phaser anyway. I thought about using my Phase 95 in this spot, but the stereo outputs were too useful to give up. The Julianna a great sounding chorus. It does the modern chorus sounds I’m looking for, but I use it so subtly and it makes my stereo rig really pop. I had half a mind to run my Strymon Deco here but it was just too big, and I don’t need the extra gain stage from the saturation side right now. Maybe I’ll switch it out another time Why Timeline? Not counting the MOOD, it’s the only delay I’ve ever owned and it does everything I need well enough and I know it inside and out from hundreds of hours of recordings with it. I mostly use the dBucket analog emulation or digital ping pong stuff and it’s never let me down. I’ve considered trading it out for a Boss DD8 and CBA Thermae combo, but the lack of stereo on the Thermae and my unfamiliarity with Boss delays has me thinking I shouldn’t fix what ain’t broke Why BigSky? Same kinda deal as the Timeline. Buy once, cry once attitude years ago and here we are. Not a spring reverb fan at all, but the plates and halls in this thing are sublime. I’ve used it on everything from kalimba to didgeridoo and loved it. I’d probably only trade it out for a CXM1978 at this point, although I’d love to try a Dark World too Why Duo 17? After all, a bigger board would fix some of my limitations, right? I deliberately went small, both for portability should I ever gig again, and to force myself away from the large-format pedals I always use in the studio (with moderate success). This is about playing guitar and having fun, not about being a tool I use for business submitted by IPreferBenjamin to guitarpedals [link] [comments] |
2023.06.01 01:26 readitm0ar The “Just do it” mindset- How?
I never could grasp how people change their mindset so easily. I’m incredibly swayed by my emotions and thoughts, and I believe it prevents me from being able to “just do it”.
Just be happy. Just be a morning person. Just be on time. Just keep your house clean. Just respond to a message when you receive it. Just make time. You get the idea. I have a hard time organizing things to fit a hard schedule or be a certain way. My head is always in the clouds and I have zero concept of how much time has passed when I hyperfocus. I can be very motived! But very disorganized, enjoy wasting time, and find myself off topic a lot. I’m never bored! But, I’m always behind on stuff and consistently scorned for not replying to others messages. I’m basically an introvert that doesn’t get gratification from completing tasks. Many of my relationships suffer because I’m a perfectionist sloth when it comes to getting anything done. How can I change my mindset to become more efficient and socially acceptable?
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2023.06.01 01:26 KrzysisAverted Anyone have the means to cut a few inches into a metal pipe?
I have a bike seat where the pipe/stem part is ridiculously long and won't go all the way into the frame of the bike. I'd like to cut it down a few inches, or at least cut a "seam" into it length-wise, so that it can go around a welded screw thread in the bike frame.
Does anyone have the tools to cut through a metal pipe-like object, or any suggestions as to where I could go to get this done?
I have no idea what to expect as far as the cost, so open to any quotes. I can also trade a number of things (lower-value electronics, etc.) for the service.
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2023.06.01 01:26 Loislorenx Sculpting help
I recently decided to try sculpting with air dry clay, this is the first thing I have made and as you can see it’s very lumpy and misshapen.
It was meant to be of Ellie from part 1 of the last of us but it doesn’t look very much like her ahah
Please give me some tips on how to get better and top stop my clay from cracking while it sets and also what paint is best to use on models as I used acrylic ☺️
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2023.06.01 01:26 AutoModerator Where Can I Watch 'The Little Mermaid' Free Online Stream On Reddit?
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2023.06.01 01:26 danielson527 Good way to get a raise
2023.06.01 01:26 segaboy16 Just finished the show the other day and I really enjoyed it
I'm not the greatest when it comes to writing longer but wanted to give it a try so sorry for the rambling.
yesterday on a whim a saw Plastic Memories show up in My suggestions and am I glad it did. I went into the show completely blind not knowing anything about it besides the little description that Funimation has about the show. I was quite impressed since I wasn't expecting much from the show but I left the show quite surprised and pleased. I was quite surprised with how well the characters carried this show, I don't think out of the cast there was anyone I didn't enjoy maybe at most Eru got a little tiring with the perv antics but even then they didn't ruin the show that bad.
I really enjoyed that throughout the show they constantly make it clear that Isla is going to die but you still feel like there is a chance that they could change that, you got to see a few examples of why she couldn't just stay running as she'd go crazy and you even see too that there is no way to back up the memories and that the memories are gone like in the case with Eru and her friend Olivia now Andie and how even tho fragments may still remain like how they both become close friends pretty easy again there is no way to actually get that person back.
The biggest praise I can give the show is them sticking with the ending and not having a fake out at the end. That was probably my biggest worry all throughout the show was would they stick to Isla dying, now as much as I would have liked an ending where she lived I think for the story they were telling her dying was the best way to go. I really enjoyed too how well the ferris wheel scene was handled with it probably being one of my favorite scenes in the entire show. The scene is set perfectly where it can just be Isla and Tsukasa alone where neither can be interrupted or chicken out and from the start I knew the rings used on the Giftia where gonna come into play where it would be used symbolically with those two characters. The seen is really well done too bc even tho it's a heartbreaking scene it's shot with a positive light where even tho this is the end of their relationship it's not a bad thing since all the memories they had and moments they were together were worth it in the end.
Then Lastly the little extra after the credits made me smile since how I interpreted it was that it was a new Giftia in Isla body and while the personality will be completely different like I said previously with Andie seeming to have some reminant of Olivia in her subconsciously, even tho as the viewers we will never see it I feel as tho a connection would grow between Tsukasa and the Giftia that was just as strong as the one between him and Isla
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2023.06.01 01:26 ratkingservant Top surgery or pursue my hobbies
Heloo so im looking at my finances right now and I have the option of saving up for either top surgery or to pursue my hobby of rescuing hamsters. Im a pre-T student with an allowance of $10 a day but with student internships, I could get a salary of anywhere from $500-$1000. I calculated that I could afford to care for another hamster in about 3 years when Ive compiled $6k. Ive done the tiniest bit of research to find that with $2k more I could afford top surgery. In 3 years I would be 20, which is below the legal age for surgeries so I'll give myself a year to get the $2k-$4k as a buffer for any additional costs. Im most probably going to travel outside my country (Singapore) to Malaysia or Thailand for the surgery (Malaysia, Penang, being the best choice for now as Ive done most of my research on it).
Im out to my parents but they are still quite unsurportive but I doubt they would notice anything. So, I need opinions, what do I do?
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2023.06.01 01:26 Uncle_ArthurR2 Psilocybin therapy is kind of a scam.
Although I’m glad we’re getting closer to complete legalization (hopefully) I strongly dislike how it’s being done and the legitimate highway robbery.
There was a centre in the State’s I seen that started at 500$ for a session just to take a microdose, which everyone here knows to pay to sit in a room for a couple hours off a microdose would just be boring. 5 gram heroic doses are 3000$ a session, and these prices don’t even include the cost of the mushrooms.
As someone who was pulled out of scal thoughts by an egodeath from 1.5 gs of PE I don’t understand why they aren’t pushing them as a remedy as quickly as possible. They are more beneficial than detrimental and we’ve known this for countless generations.
And furthermore the best way to do shrooms for therapy is on your own. A high dose is gonna make you face your demons at a care centre or in the deep bush regardless. I just don’t understand why you wouldn’t want to do it in the comfort and control of your own home.
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2023.06.01 01:26 whalestick Is there a way to get rid of the 'others - real debrid' showing up in the catalogue?
It shows up as a section in the catalog and is kind of annoying, is there a way to get rid of it showing up?
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2023.06.01 01:26 tmassey28 Which speakers and HU?
I recently got a used Honda CR-V 2008 and want better audio. the audio in it starts to get distorted at about 28-30/40. I generally just listen to classic rock and country and blues and everything in between so i don't need amazing speakers or any subs or anything. I Just want a little more clarity at higher volumes and maybe a little more bass too. I just bought this off amazon not knowing(still not certain) that it matters what HU you get.(not affiliated in any way to amazon or to this HU seller)
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B093RJNVTP?ref=ppx_pt2_dt_b_prod_image Will this be fine? i just want to replace my front speakers(as long as that's a good idea), and probably my front dash tweeters too. any good recommendations? Should I return my HU before i install? looking to spend about up to $170 for the set of 6.5's and idk how much for the tweeters and ideally under $200 for the HU. Should i replace the amp? I may sound like i have an idea but i'm pretty clueless when it comes to electric stuff so please be nice. Thanks!
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2023.06.01 01:25 Copy_Of_A Sudden Display Issues on 13.3 Pro
| Hi all, I saw a few older posts featuring similar issues, but I saw no resolutions, so I thought I’d post here and see if there have been any breakthroughs in this type of display issue. The broken black bar across the top of the screen is spreading downward pretty rapidly. Tablet is 6 months old, and has only been used a handful of times, no damage. This started out of the blue 2 nights ago. I’ve already contacted the company and am waiting on a response (tech support wants sales to contact me and it could be a few more days). However, I read somewhere that it could be a bad/unseated pigtail inside. Does anyone know if there’s a way to open this model and see what’s up? I’m fine with fixing it myself if I can, but I don’t want to do further damage trying to get it apart. Thanks! submitted by Copy_Of_A to XPpen [link] [comments] |
2023.06.01 01:25 EnvironmentalRip3601 Were my parents actually narcissists?
I'm 31 (m), and I've been struggling with low self-esteem and a lack of confidence most of my childhood; these worsened during college and later on. I was fortunate enough to find a job with colleagues that were very friendly and accommodating of my awkwardness, and they've helped me gain some amount of confidence by encouraging me to test new ideas, talk to other people, and simply being all around relaxed. My mother had to take the reins of the family at some point when I was only a few years old because my father lacked ambition and our family was struggling financially. This resulted in a long series of fights and tension between my parents due to their opposing values and views on how to live their lives, my mother wanted to build a better life in the new city while my father was content and planned to return to his parental hometown in the future. Since it was a home business, me and my sister started helping our mother with basic tasks starting at the age of 6, this type of business is has an increased number of customers around the holidays and in the summer, and this meant that we could forget about weekend, trips, summer getaways etc. The volume of work was very demanding, often times at the end of the week we would not sleep Friday to Saturday just to finish on time, and since my father refused to invest in this activity we were often called upon to support in his stead: waking up at 3 am to help mom, go to school at 7, get back home as soon as possible because work was pending, no time for friends. This resulted in something similar to burnout most of the time, Sundays were for sleeping and recovery.
As the eldest son, my sister is slightly younger, I was often called upon to be her support instead of my father, asking me to do task that she would normally ask my father but decided to pass it on to me because she couldn't trust him, or she disliked the quality of his work. She often said I was her favorite and at time would share secrets with me. This made me feel important and special until I was treated as selfish or bad whenever I tried to express an opinion that contradicted her decisions. Their parenting styles were centered around "I created you and therefore you do what I say without arguing", which is pretty common in rural areas in our country, and any sort of disagreements were met with threats of punishment because it was perceived as misbehaving. The relationship with my sister was always strained because I felt we were competing for our parent's approval, I was my mom's favorite and she was my dad's favorite. However I was torn between both parents because I had work to do outside with my dad during the day, then stay past midnight to help my mom with her part of work. Rince and repeat for 10 years or so until I went to college. When I was a teenager I could not imagine my life past that, I thought I would probably die before the age of 20, then I was the first in our generation to to go college and pressure was placed on me to not shame our family with any bad results, any conflicting feelings I had at that time were asttributed to selfishness and laziness.
In the end I got a house that I share with my sister, gifted by my parents as a sign of appreciation for the hard work over the years and a way of saying "the childhood that you lost was traded in for this, which is more that we ever had as children". There are times when my mother is calling each day to talk, but most of the time it's a gateway for her to start complaining about her issues and gets mad when I say I'm not in the mood; she asks for my opinions then disregards them; she would send packages of home made food every now and then, but then start criticizing me about my unmarried status and comparing me with other people; recently she says she loves me, but I do not understand what exactly she loves because I don't feel she ever tried to know and accept me. I have been having these conflicting inner feeling for months now because I always felt I was never good enough for my parents, I could never fix their problems and I was sometimes the subject of serious fights between them because I was introverted at school and my dad was expecting me to have a booming social life similar to his own childhood. I feel that I will never be good enough for them, but they deny this and say everything is in my head, I try to comfront them about their behavior and they belittle me by saying I will only understand them when I become a parent myself, which is honestly infuriating because it implies their actions are justified and corect. I told them that if I was ever a parent I would never burden my child with my inner issues as they did, and I would never threaten them with abandonment or violence as they did.
Am I being ungrateful, or have I been gaslighted over the course of the last 20 years into doubting myself? A part of me wants to think I was loved, because there are some good family moments in my life and I can't deny the sacrifices my mother did so that we can have a roof over our heads, but they are overshadowed by feelings of being used, belittled, ignored, criticized, threatened etc. Do they actually love me in their own twisted way and I have to accept it, or should I confront them? Honestly, I've stopped caring about my father because he usually is uninterested in my life, but it's hard to make a decision regarding my mother because sometimes she comes across as genuinely concerned and interested, but then I am hit again with the same old rhetoric, and I instantly go back to those feelings of being worthless.
My sister has started therapy recently and admitted to me that she shared an event where I was so fed up with the constant issues at home that I stopped eating food for 3 days during the holidays; long story short the therapist does not think that our parents being narcissists is important, and that my frustration with them and refusal to eat is a wrong approach because it means I am stuck in the past; that I should focus treating it as a "disease" they are having and should just work around it. This I cannot accept, I simply can't find excuses for them since they are over 50 years old and have always kept putting me down and mocking my opinions and beliefs as if I was misguided and problematic. I feel alone in this since my sister is trying to resolve this in her own way, and my recent attempts of going yellow-rock are creating background tension in the family. I am being called selfish on all sides because I want to distance myself from the family and figure out my worth and path in life, and I do not know what to do. I feel like I've lost something important along the way during my childhood and there's nothing left in me, I am suprised to be alive now at 31 but I can't even imagine how my future will look right now. Looking at this I realize it's a long post, please feel free to treat it as a rant. Your feedback would greatly help me in finding a way forward from this inner conflict. Thanks.
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2023.06.01 01:25 Sideaccount1000 When does it get better? Feeling worse on week 2
Hi all!
So I left my ex on Friday 19th, the first week was hard but I was very busy moving out. We were together for 7 and a half yrs, lived together for 4.
I am a ketamine addict and had to leave to get better, my ex didnt really cared about my recovery.
Even though my relationship was VERY toxic, and deep down I know it was the right choice, I feel like I made a mistake by leaving.
I cannot bear with the pain right now, and miss him dearly. I just wish we could stay friends, because not only I had to give up on the man I loved, but also my best friend.
When is it going to get better? When am I going to be happy again?
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2023.06.01 01:25 fatiguesshy I don’t know if I should question my reactions or not
I despise my parents. I really fucking do and I always have it’s just that now I understand why and realized how much they’ve fucked me over and deformed my personality. I get really critical when they start to play the blame game, throw nasty comments, and be narcissistic basically. The thing is I’ve always felt this way towards them because I literally live with them ( where I’m from I’m pretty much staying till I get married or get some sort of opportunity like a postgrad program or whatever) so my shit tolerance is pretty high. However, whenever the tension in the house accumulates and trouble slowly breaks out I get pretty angry and mad as my initial reaction. Therefore, I engage a little more (like in a fight with parents or feel angrier and more anxious than my siblings immediately post fight). It’s just that I can’t help but notice how my other siblings react. They’re a little calmer and don’t initially feel anger, disgust, disappointment, resentment…etc. Instead they are a little calmer and say things like “why are you so tense” “it’s better not to say these things. You wouldn’t want people saying that about you in the future. Karma is real…” “Do you actually expect them to say/ act like that with you”. They don’t say any of this in a patronizing manner, but I can’t help but wonder if this is ok? Like am I supposed to react the way they do? It’s not that I don’t calm down. I do but my initial reaction is always more intense,emotional, and like “blunt”. I can interact with my parents in a levelheaded manner and pretend like they’re amazing and great especially when I know I need to do that, but I really don’t know if I’m technically in the wrong and should be calmer??! Should I be less critical and “empathize”? It just feels fucking weird like I don’t know if that’s healthy or not???
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